The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven (144 page)

             
“Yeah well your dish is already full so you have to leave some for the rest of us,” she joked.

             
“Actually my plate is currently empty and I think I’d like to keep it that way,” I said, rubbing my grumbling belly. All this talk about empty plates reminded me I skipped lunch and slept through dinner.

             
“Well you know it won’t stay that way for long.”

             
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

             
“It means you’re hot and you should know by now guys can’t resist you.”

             
“Yeah, sometimes that’s the problem.”

             
There was another knock on the door. “Who is it?” I called not in the mood for visitors.

             
“It’s Riley,” she answered.

             
“That’s my cue to leave,” Josie said.

             
“Do you have to?”

             
“Yeah, unfortunately,” she said, getting up. “Look Ella, you are a very strong and independent woman. You can do anything you put your mind to and never let anyone tell you you can’t. As far as this whole guy thing goes, you’ll figure it out. Just give it time. But remember, no more crying. These stupid boys are not worth your tears.”

             
“Thanks Josie. I’m gonna miss you.” I gave her a hug, not wanting to let go.

             
“I’ll miss you too. I’ll try to pop in when I can.” And with that she was gone.

             
I sighed and walked over to open the door for Riley. “Hey,” I said, letting her come in.

             
“Do you know how hard it was for me to get in here? It’s like Fort Knox. I had to make up some excuse about how we’re supposed to do a project together,” she said, dropping her book bag on the floor.

             
“Riley Mercer, lying and sneaking around, what would your mother say?” I teased, wagging my finger at her.

             
“I’d tell her it was peer pressure,” she smiled and I laughed. “Nice place you got here,” she said, looking around. “How’d you end up here?”

             
“I got punished.”

             
“Nice punishment.”

             
“Can’t complain…much.” I walked over and plopped down on my bed. “So what’s up?”

             
“You weren’t at lunch or dinner so I got a little worried. I’ve never known you to skip a meal let alone two.”

             
“Didn’t Justin tell you he saw me?”

             
“He did, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t worry.” She bent down and unzipped her book bag and pulled out some snacks. “This was all I could find. I figured you’d be hungry.”

             
“Starved and thank you,” I said, swiping a bag of chips.

             
“Any reason you skipped lunch and dinner?”

             
“Dinner I accidently slept through and lunch, well…” I trailed off not sure how much I wanted to divulge.

             
“Roman,” she guessed.

             
“Among other things,” I sighed, falling back on the bed.

             
“You want to talk about it?” she asked shyly.

             
“What’s the point? It’s not going to change anything.” I lost all of my pep the moment Josie disappeared from my room.

             
“It might make you feel better,” she said hesitantly.

             
“Reminding myself over and over again how much of a screw up I am?”

             
“Ella, you’re not a screw up. You just sometimes…think irrationally.” I scowled at her. “I mean,” she stammered. “You act first and –”

             
“I thought you were supposed to make me feel better not worse,” I said, swiping the cookies she brought. It was a good thing she thought ahead and brought comfort food.

             
“I know and I’m sorry. I’m just not good at this. I haven’t had much practice. I only ever had my sisters. I never really had a lot of girlfriends growing up.”

             
“I know Riley and it’s okay, really. Honestly, you’re right. I’ve been doing a lot of dumb things and saying a lot of dumb things.”

             
“You just need to learn from your mistakes.”

             
“If only I could learn from them. Lately I seem to keep making the same mistakes.”

             
“Ella, no one’s perfect and I’m sure not everything is your fault.”

             
She said it so innocently I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks.”

             
“You know what I mean. We all know Roman can be an ass.”

             
“And you’re swearing now too? Why Miss Mercer?” I started to fan myself dramatically.

             
“Shut up,” she said, throwing a pillow at me.  “So when are you going to tell me what happened in Ireland?” she asked coyly.

             
“Long story short, I found him, we bonded, he broke up with me,” I spit out in one breath.

             
“Oh…when you say bonded, what exactly do you mean?”

             
“Well…” I said, looking away.

             
“Oh Ella, you didn’t.”

             
“It just kind of happened. I didn’t plan it and technically Tristan was my boyfriend not that that makes it right.”

             
“I’m not judging,” she smiled bashfully.

             
“Judge away, I deserve it.”

             
“Ella, stop being so hard on yourself. I’m sure anyone would have done the same thing if they were in your situation. I mean, how many people find out their boyfriend died but really didn’t. How many times does that happen?”

             
“Twice if you count Kyle.”

             
“Huh, maybe there really is something wrong with you?”

             
“Hey,” I said, throwing the pillow back at her.

             
“So it’s really over between you and Tristan?”

             
“Yep.”

             
“I’m sorry you had to go all the way to Ireland for it to end that way.”

             
“I’m not. I mean I’m glad to know he’s alive, but I should have known it wouldn’t have worked out. Tristan and I…I guess we’re just not meant for each other.” Saying those words out loud felt so wrong, but I convinced myself it was the truth even if it didn’t feel like it.

             
Riley looked down at her feet clearly understanding that was not a subject I liked talking about so she moved on. “So how much trouble did you get in?”

             
“A lot. I have to stay here the whole summer and make up my classes and they’re making me do manual labor around the school.”

             
“At least you won’t be alone.”

             
“That’s true. Cameron and Dean will be there, but then again neither of them are talking to me at the moment so I might as well be here alone.” Riley looked away, indicating she knew something I didn’t. “What are you not telling me?”

             
“When I said you wouldn’t be alone, I wasn’t talking about Cameron and Dean.”

             
“Oh yeah, Mackenzie will be here too,” I said groaning. Riley started to pick at her nails. “Okay seriously Riley, what is it?”

             
“Roman will be here too.”

             
“What!” I stood up.

             
“Justin told me he got into big trouble for setting the tree on fire and part of his punishment is he has to spend the summer doing the landscaping around the school.”

             
“Great, I’m sure somehow that will be my fault, ‘cause you know I was the reason he set the tree on fire in the first place. Every time I think they can’t punish me anymore fate has a way of proving me wrong. Now I have to spend the whole summer with people who hate me.”

             
“Ella, they don’t hate you.”

             
“You didn’t hear what Roman said to me before lunch,” I frowned, sitting back down.

             
“He’s just upset. He was so beside himself when you left. He thought it was his fault because he didn’t protect you. He thought you left because of him.”

             
“What? Why would he think that?”

             
“Maybe you should talk to him.”

             
“I am the last person he wants to talk to.”

             
“Just give him some time to cool off. And remember you have the whole summer to figure things out.”

             
“Don’t remind me.”

Riley and I spent the rest of the night catching up. I told her all about my adventures in Ireland and what I originally meant about Tristan and I being bonded. Then I told her about how I was a total bitch to Gabe and because of it I have a new trainer and why Roman really flipped out on me. We talked up until one in the morning. Riley ended up falling asleep in my bed and I didn’t have the heart to wake her. I let her sleep while I cuddled up in my chair and read a book. I was too afraid to fall asleep after the last nightmare I had.

Chapter Twenty-one

I woke up early the next morning. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss breakfast today and I knew if I got up early enough I could get there before anyone else did. No big surprise Riley was already up and had been for an hour. “Good morning sunshine,” she said, smiling brightly at me.

             
“Morning,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

             
“Had any bad dreams last night?”

             
“Nope, slept like a baby.”

             
“Good,” she said, closing her book. “You hungry?”

             
“You really have to ask?”

             
Thankfully there were only a few students in the cafeteria so Riley and I had a seat at our normal table. Cameron pulled out a chair and slumped down laying her head on her arms. I looked at Riley not sure. “Okay seriously, next time you decide to take an adventure how about you leave me out of it,” Cameron mumbled into her arms.

             
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Cameron lifted her head to look at me. “I’m not mad at you, well, not anymore. I will admit I do tend to put my two cents in when I shouldn’t.”

             
“I’m sorry,” I spit out.

             
“No worries. It’s all good,” she said, laying her head back down.

             
“And if I remember correctly I did try to leave you out of that little adventure. You insisted on coming with,” I said, hoping I didn’t open my mouth too soon.”

             
She looked up and narrowed her eyes at me. “Touché,” she replied and stole a piece of bacon, smiling.

             
“So how is training?” I asked, knowing by the way she looked she was getting her ass kicked.

             
“Hell and why weren’t you there?” she demanded, waving a piece of toast at me that she stole from Riley.

             
“After yesterday Gabe suggested maybe I should have another trainer.”

             
“Ouch,” she said. “Is he as bad as Gabe?”

             
“He prefers to sleep in so already that’s a plus.”

             
“I hate you. Wanna switch?” Cameron smiled sweetly.

             
“Ha-ha, I wish,” I said and actually meant it. “Where’s Dean?”

             
“Probably still passed out in the field,” Cameron laughed.

             
“Are you serious?” She nodded. “Good, maybe this will do him some good.”

             
“I doubt that,” Cameron said. “He already plans on making up for lost time by getting smashed this weekend.”

             
I rolled my eyes, of course he would. Dean didn’t learn. “Is Dean still mad at me?” I asked, although I was sure I already knew the answer.

             
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Cameron said, getting up and stealing some more food off my plate before she got her own. “Here he comes now.”

             
I looked up and sure enough Dean was walking straight for me and did not look happy. He stopped at the foot of the table, pressed his palms down on the edge, and stared straight at me. “I know you’re prone to your little hissy fits and you can’t help the fact that you’re a raging bitch,” I opened my mouth to yell at him, but he held up a finger. “But bailing out on training this morning and leaving us to be punished alone, a punishment no less that is basically your fault.” Dean really knew what to say to get under my skin. Just when I thought he was done he started up again. “Don’t say it’s not your fault because none of us would have left it weren’t for you. You really got a lot of nerve. I guess it took you no time at all to get that whole princess act down, didn’t it.”

             
“You done?” I asked, crossing my arms and trying not to let my anger get the best of me. When he didn’t answer I took that as a yes. “First off, I didn’t bail on training I was assigned a new trainer and second how about getting your facts straight before jumping to conclusions. And if you ever call me –” I froze midsentence when Roman caught my eye. I lowered my finger that I was pointing in Dean’s face. I lost all my strength when Roman walked in the room. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me reaming out Dean. I knew it would just give him more ammunition to hate me.

             
Roman walked toward us and it was like the air was sucked right out of me. I couldn’t breathe. “Ella, are you okay?” Riley asked. I just sat there and stayed silent. I could feel his eyes on me. They felt like they were burning holes in my skin from the intense way he was staring. He slowed down as he approached the table. My stomach started to twist in knots and I felt sick all of sudden, worried he wasn’t finished yelling at me from yesterday.

             
“Ashby,” Dean nodded.

             
“McCallister, I wanted to give you your balls back. You left them out there on the field along with your dignity,” Roman said, laughing and making my insides flip flop at the sound of his voice. His laugh seemed to have a calming effect on me and I hoped maybe he lost some of his animosity towards me. My nausea slowly disintegrated at the sight of his beautiful smile.

             
“Shut up,” Dean said embarrassed, pushing Roman.

             
“What happened?” I stuttered.

             
Roman’s smile faded at the sound of my voice and he turned to glower at me. Well that answered that question. I shrunk under his scrutinizing stare then reminded myself that I was being ridiculous and shouldn’t let him get to me like that. I was strong, I was a good person, people make mistakes, I said to myself over and over again. Then I sat up straight and looked Roman straight in the eye, challenging him to say something to me.

             
He backed down, but kept his lips pulled into a tight line. “You have to ask Dean what happened,” he said, walking away.

             
I exhaled slowly and then went back to my breakfast. I knew today wouldn’t be any easier for the fact that I had classes with Roman, but we’d have to face each other eventually. Cameron joined us back at the table and looked at all our faces. “Okay, what did I miss?” she asked.

             
“Nothing,” Dean and I said together.

             
“So Dean, I see you managed to peel yourself off the field,” Cameron giggled.

             
“Whatever, I let you win,” he said, taking a seat and stealing my tray.

             
“Really?” I glared at him.

             
“You weren’t eating it.”

             
“I so was, dick.” I slid the tray back over to me and glared at him again.

             
“I guess this means you two made up?” Cameron said.

             
“Dean can’t stay mad at me for long. If he did he wouldn’t have anyone to torture then.”

             
“Whatever, you love it,” he winked and stole some more food from my tray before he left to go get his own.

             
It was true. No matter the situation Dean and I never stayed mad at each other for long. He was my brother so it was in our nature to fight. It wouldn’t be normal if we didn’t and anyone who tells you they don’t fight with their siblings they’re either lying or seriously weird. I didn’t even know why I was worried about Dean being mad at me in the first place.

             
“So, Roman,” Cameron said as she shoveled pancake in her mouth.

             
“Can we please talk about something else?” I groaned, not even wanting to touch the subject. My stomach was just starting to settle down.

             
“O-kay. What’s your new trainer like?”

             
“Not sure yet. All I know is he’s Gabe’s nephew and a transfer student.

             
“Wait, Gabe’s nephew?” Cameron asked, suddenly interested. “Is he as hot as Gabe?”

             
“Ew, you think Gabe is hot?” I asked, taken by surprise.

             
“Totally, don’t you?” I shook my head no. “Seriously? Okay, he’s like seven foot, muscular, short dark brown hair, teal eyes, seriously killer body, and I would imagine if he smiled it would be stunning. Not to mention the very strong, masculine features in his face, his golden bronze skin…”

             
“Okay Cam, we get the point,” I said, trying to keep my breakfast down.

             
“You really don’t think he’s attractive?”

             
“I guess I just never looked at him that way. To me he’s just always been Gabe my guard…ian,” I said, suddenly realizing what a fool I was. Of course that was why I never gave Gabe the respect he deserved. I only ever thought of him as my bodyguard and nothing else. And that wasn’t true. Gabe was so much more than that. I was just blinded by my own stupidity and immaturity to notice.

             
“I’m sorry guys. I have to go.” I got up abruptly and left, leaving them with question marks on their faces. I didn’t have to time to explain. I had to find Gabe and apologize. It might not change much, but I had to at least try. I had to do the right thing for once.
No time like the present to start.

             
I found Gabe right outside his room. “Gabe,” I called out to him, running down the hall to catch him before he went inside.

             
He stopped and turned around. “Miss Ella, is there a problem?” he asked formally.

             
“Okay seriously, I told you, just Ella.”

             
“As your guardian it is my
job
to address you properly,” he said, putting emphasis on the word job.

             
I inwardly cringed. Then I reminded myself why I was there. “Yeah, about that. I’m sorry.” I looked up and saw the lines around his eyes faded a little. “I was an ass yesterday and I didn’t mean what I said.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he thought about my words. I noticed for the first time what Cameron was talking about. To an outsider Gabe would be the ideal catch. He was very handsome and carried himself very well. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is you’ve done so much for me and all I’ve done is treated you like shit. You are not just my guardian. I consider you a friend, too,” I smiled at him.

             
“Miss Ella,” he began to protest.

             
“Just Ella,” I snapped then quickly apologized.

             
I saw the slightest hint of a smile cross his face. “Ella,” he corrected. “I am partially to blame.”

             
“Huh?” I looked at him, totally thrown off by his words.

             
“I let the lines between personal involvement and professional go too far.”

             
“Wait, I’m confused. Are you apologizing to me?”

             
“Yes,” he said, letting his arms fall by his side.

             
His face softened and I turned my head slightly. “What would you need to apologize for?”

             
“I let my personal feelings interfere with my work and I should never have.”

             
It took me a second before I realized what he was referring to. “Oh, you mean when I left,” I said, no longer able to meet him in the eyes. “Gabe, I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you’d try and stop me. I’m sorry I left without a word. It was nothing personal.”

             
“I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he said unexpected. “If I was in your position I would have done the same thing.”

             
I looked up. “Really?”

             
“I too know what it’s like to lose someone you love. If I heard they were alive I would stop at nothing to find them.”

             
When I looked into his eyes I could swear I saw a small tear form.  That was another shocking revelation. Not that I didn’t think Gabe was incapable of love, it was just that Gabe to me was always so serious and having a significant other would be the last thing he worried about or so I thought. He always acted like his job was his life and left little time for other things.

             
“Then why were you mad at me for leaving?”

             
“I wasn’t mad. I was…” he broke off not wanting to admit it. He was afraid of blurring the lines between personal and professional again.

             
“You were worried about me?” He looked away. “Oh you big softie. You’re just an over grown teddy bear, aren’t you?” He glared down at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I really am sorry for being a bitch.”