The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven (143 page)

             
I decided to keep my mouth shut. I was in enough trouble already. Automatically the whispers started. “All right that’s enough,” Mr. Hendal said, shushing the class. “Chloe, will you please share your notes with Ella.”

             
Chloe looked less than thrilled, but complied anyways. I didn’t really remember her much. She had soft, wavy read hair that fell just short of her shoulders. Freckles covered her cheeks and nose. She kind of looked like little orphan Anne which I was sure she got teased about a lot when she was younger. She had a cute little purple beret in her hair to hold back what looked like bangs she was growing out.

             
I commented on her beret hoping to lighten things up, but it just made it worse. She pulled away from me and looked as if she was about to make a run for it. I guess with all the rumors going around about me she thought I was a loose cannon. I didn’t have to hear the rumors to know people were talking about me. I could hear their thoughts. I wasn’t spying on anyone like I promised, but their thoughts were so loud I couldn’t help but hear what they were all thinking. Some thought I planned the whole attack on the school as a decoy for my escape. One thought I ran away because I was too afraid to face Mackenzie after ‘stealing’ her man – that one made me laugh. Some thought I left because of the stress of everything or because I was too ashamed of myself for what happened. That one wasn’t far from the truth.

             
Other thoughts I heard were just ridiculous and I wondered where the hell they came up with this stuff. I heard excuses like – plastic surgery, my parents were broke and couldn’t afford to send me here anymore, sex change operation, I joined a cult, I moonlighted as a prostitute to pay for my drug problem, and so on. All interesting if I did say so myself, but the one that hurt the most was the one about me being to coward to break up with Roman in person. I didn’t know who said it or how they even knew something so private, but it was enough to make me slide back down in my seat and try to disappear.

             
Not being able to sit there for two hours and listen to all the gossip about me, I put in my ear buds and turned the volume down so I could still hear Mr. Hendal if necessary. I learned I could hide my headphones if I pulled them up through the back of my shirt and let my hair fall forward in to my face. No one ever noticed.

             
After royal politics, I didn’t even bother to go to my next two classes. I knew I would get in trouble, but really, what more could they do to me? Plus it wasn’t like I was missing anything important either. My next two classes were art and dance and they were electives. So instead of going to class I went back to my room and slept.

             
I didn’t get the sleep I so desperately wanted. I tossed and turned. Visions of the night Tristan and I spent together flashed in my head. My heart clenched as visions of him kissing me sent me into a spiraling downfall. Oh how I ached to feel him in my arms, to feel his lips on my skin, and his touch. Soon the visions swirled and I was in my dorm and it was Roman who was kissing me. My heart twisted inside my chest. Roman, Tristan, Roman, Tristan. I jumped back and forth in my dream between Roman and Tristan and before I knew it I could no longer tell who was who.

             
I gasped when I woke up. I sat up in my bed and gripped the sheets tight forcing myself not to cry. I cried enough already and all that did was give me a headache and red puffy eyes. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Then I looked over at the clock. It was lunch time. I got up and put my hat back on and then I headed down to the cafeteria where I ran into Roman.

             
“Hey…last night,” I said, fidgeting with my thumbs. I looked up at him from underneath my hat.

             
“Was a mistake,” he said, clenching his jaw. “I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong. You’re just like all the rest and you’ll never change.”

             
I looked at him wondering what he was talking about. I felt that somehow I missed something in the translation. “Roman…I’m not sure…what?”

             
“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re too self-involved to care about anyone but yourself.”

             
I gawked at his comment. “Excuse me?”

             
“I should have known you were nothing more than a spoiled little bitch. When things don’t go your way you tear people down and act as if they’re beneath you.”

             
Okay, that hurt.
“First off –” I tried defending myself but he continued.

             
“You know Gabe has used his spare time to help you out and all you do is treat him like someone who’s easily disposable.”
Ah, so this was about this morning
. “I’m just glad I found out who you really are before it was too late,” he said, storming off and letting the door slam behind him.

             
I stood there with my mouth open, staring at the big black doors to the cafeteria. I was in total and utter shock.
How dare he say those things to me? He had no idea.
I reached for the door ready to bust through and give him a piece of my mind when a couple of girls walked by whispering. “I can’t believe she has the nerve to show up back here,” “Especially after what she did to Roman,” “And all the trouble she caused at the dance,” “They should have sent her away to one of those institutions.” They acted like I couldn’t hear them.

             
I turned to glare, making them flinch, but only for a second before they started giggling again and pointing. “God, she is crazy,” the brunette with bad bangs said.

             
I decided I was no longer hungry and instead of letting my anger get the best of me I thought it best to go back to my room. I counted backwards from ten like Ms. Kraft had told me once before to do to help calm me down. Then I took some deep breaths to keep myself from turning back around and pummeling those girls.

             
I walked past the fountain and all the new trees and flowers we panted back in march. They were blossoming beautifully and full of life. I wandered, not paying attention to where I was going, until I realized I was at the entrance of the maze. I stopped and stared at the entrance. There was something about this maze. I always felt drawn to it but I had no idea why. I took a step closer and I was suddenly hit with images from that night. I closed my eyes and saw the nightmare all over again.

             
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Being on edge, I grabbed the hand, spun around and flipped them onto their back. They landed with a loud thump. I took my stance ready to attack again. He groaned and rolled over to his side allowing me to see who it was. “Justin?”

             
“Damn Ella, if I would have known you were so touchy,” he said, groaning and rubbing his back.

             
I put my hand out to help him up. “Well what are you doing sneaking up behind me?”

             
“I called your name but you didn’t answer and then I saw you were about to go into the maze and I was not about to go in there and find you...again.”

             
“Sorry, I had my headphones in.” I gestured to my ear buds and pulled them out. “And I wasn’t going to go in there.”

             
“It didn’t look that way to me.”

             
“Look, is there something you want?” I said annoyed. I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture.

             
“Riley wanted me to find you to make sure you were alright since you weren’t at lunch.”

             
“Where is she?”

             
“In class.”

             
“Oh, why aren’t you in class?”

             
“Why aren’t you?” he retorted.

             
I eyed him a minute wondering what was going on underneath all that pretty blonde hair. “You can’t get in my head,” he said.

             
“I…wasn’t,” I stuttered. “Why not?”

             
He smiled. “It’s a wolf thing.”

             
I nodded. When he didn’t say anything else I asked, “Is that all?”

             
“That’s all. I guess I’ll be sure to tell Riley you’re fine,” he said, rubbing his shoulder for emphasis. I gave another slight nod and he walked away.  “And hey Ella, do me a favor and stay out of the maze. Unless you plan on carrying a box of Oreos with you,” he winked, jogging off.

             
To be on the safe side and avoid any more run ins, I decided to head back to my room, hoping to avoid any unpredicted detours. When I returned I found Gabe outside my door sliding an envelope underneath. I wanted to say something to him, but chickened out and held myself back until he left. When I knew it was clear, I went to my room, and opened the envelope. Inside was a note.

            
 
After this morning I feel it best that I no longer train you. You lack discipline and concentration and I feel someone who can work with you one on one would be better suited for your needs. I have set up a schedule with your new trainer who will work with around your classes and other activities. You will meet with him promptly after dinner in the gym and start your sessions tomorrow. His name is Zane.

              And that was it, the end of the letter.

             
I didn’t want a new trainer. I wanted Gabe, but I was a fool and I acted childish and I didn’t blame him for not wanting to train me anymore. I managed to dig myself a hole that I couldn’t get out of and that was because I just kept digging it deeper. I didn’t want to be the outcast, but lately everything I did put me at top of the list for number one weirdo.

             
I checked my watch and saw I had a while before dinner. I thought about meeting Zane before dinner, but I had no idea where he was or what he looked like. I wanted to call Gran, but I knew she wouldn’t answer – too busy traveling – and I didn’t want to leave a message on her answering machine. I offered several times to get her a cell phone, but she refused. She said the whole purpose of traveling alone was to be alone and with a cell phone people would bug you for nonsense all the time. Then she went into a story about people survived perfectly fine way before cell phones were invented and blah, blah – I dosed off somewhere in the middle of the conversation.

             
Gran always used to joke and say I could write her the old fashion way via snail mail, but where would I send the letters? She was never home and she herself never knew where she would be next. I sighed at a loss and sat on my bed. I lied back and told myself over and over again I would not cry. I said it so many times it was my own personal version of counting sheep and before I knew it I was out.

Chapter Twenty

I recognized the stone before I saw the name. Josie’s grave. I looked around the cemetery. There were only a few headstones and they were all lined up next to one another. I walked over to the perfect perpendicular line of stones and read the names off one by one; Liam McCallister, Jamila McCallister, Alexander McCallister, Dean McCallister, and the final one Ella McCallister. Only I stood in front of an empty grave where my tombstone lied. I turned around and sucked in a breath as Jack stood behind me, wicked smile on his face. I didn’t even have a chance to react before he plunged a stake into my chest. I fell backwards in the hole and landed onto the hard packed dirt beneath me. The impact took my breath away. I looked up at Jack as stood above me. I choked on the blood in my throat, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. Jack bent down, looking in to the hole. “You can’t win Ella. You weren’t meant to survive.”

             
I tried my hardest to fight through the pain, but all it did was advance my departure on this world. Soon my breaths were coming in quick short gasps. This was it. Jack had finally won. Jack stood above me with a shovel and a satisfied smile on his face. I took my last breath as Jack begun to shovel dirt into my grave and covered my body.

             
I sat up with a jolt, gasping for air. When I was finally able to catch my breath, I broke down and started to cry.

             
I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry as much as I had. I thought by now I would have nothing left. I’d cried so many times in the past year I thought it was just second nature to me. I cried because it was what I was used to, my own personal comfort from this hell I felt trapped in. I let it all out. All the pain and anguish that had been building up inside me since I read the letter from Tristan and returned home. I thought I had buried it deep enough that I would never have to relive it. But once I started crying it was like a flood gate had opened up. I cried for all the loss, pain, and heartache I had been bottling up.

             
“Hey, don’t do that,” Josie said, scaring me so badly I almost fell off the bed.

             
“Christ Josie, I told you not to do that,” I said, staring at my best friend who was standing at the end of the bed. “What are you doing here? Does this mean you’re back?” I sat up excited, all thoughts of sadness fading.

             
She shook her head no and I sunk back down into my pillows. “They’re still determining what to do with me.”

             
“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for being here?”

             
“What more could they do to me? Besides, I don’t care. My best friend is hurt and she needed me. You want to tell me what’s going on?” she asked, sitting beside me.

             
I threw my arms around her and started to cry on her shoulder. “Oh Josie everything is just falling apart. I keep messing everything up.”

             
She sighed and hugged me tight. “Ella, everything will be okay.”

             
“But you don’t know that. You still don’t even know what’s going to happen to you.”

             
“And do you see me crying like a baby?”

             
I pulled back and looked at her. “What?”

             
“Ella, you need to snap out of it!” she said, shaking my shoulders.

             
“Josie I…” I stuttered, shocked.

             
“Josie I…I…” she mocked. “Ella, I came here to tell you to stop this.”

             
“Stop what?” I asked, trying not to cry again.

             
“This,” she said, pointing at my tear streaked face. “Ella, you are strong. You are so much stronger than you believe yourself to be. You keep this up and you’ll spend the rest of your life in a dark room by yourself probably wearing all black clothes and getting your face pierced and…” she babbled.

             
“Josie!”

             
“Oh, sorry,” she giggled.

             
“Is there a point here?” I asked frustrated.

             
“My point is the Ella I know would not let some stupid boy get her down.”

             
“Boys,” I corrected.

             
“Whether it’s one, two, or twenty, the girl I know would not let any boy make her feel less than herself. You need to stand up for yourself and no matter what anyone throws at you learn how to take it and stop punishing yourself,” she said with a little more sympathy. “Ella, it pains me to keep seeing you like this. You need to look down within you and remember the person you are. The person who would never let anyone hurt you.”

             
“Josie it’s just so hard, especially when I’m the one who keeps making the mistakes.”

             
“So you made a mistake.”

             
“Mistakes, plural.”

             
“Okay, so you made a few mistakes. It’s human nature.” I opened my mouth to remind her I wasn’t exactly human when she stopped me. “Vampire or not you’re still human. You’re still you. You need to cop up to your mistakes, apologize, accept, and move on. And if these buttheads can’t accept you for who you are despite your mistakes than screw them.”

             
“You know what, you’re right. I need to stop feeling pity on myself.”

             
“That’s right, you’re Ella Alexandra McCallister.” She stood up and stomped her foot.

             
“I am!” I said, joining her. “I am Ella Alexandra McCallister, damn it!”

             
“Yeah!” Josie cheered me on and I cheered right back. We were interrupted in our little battle cry by a knock on the door. I held my head high ready for anything when I answered it. I swung the door open ready to take on the world only to pause because I had no idea who the man was standing before me.

             
“May I help you?” I asked.

             
“Ella, I presume?” he said, with a deep Irish accent. “We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Zane O’Reilly, your new trainer.”

             
I looked back at the clock and almost smacked myself in the head. “I am so sorry I completely lost track of time I –”

             
“No worries. Gabe had already warned me about your tendencies to,” he paused, looking for the right word that would sound more polite. “Procrastinate,” was the word he chose.

             
If he didn’t have the most charming smile I might have been offended. He also looked very young to be a guardian and a trainer. “How old are you?” I asked abruptly.

             
He blushed slightly, giving me a half smile showing off his dimples. “I’m twenty-three,” he said.

             
“Did you just graduate?”

             
“No, I’m a transfer.”

             
“Um, I think there might be some kind of mistake. I don’t think…” I began, wondering what Gabe was thinking when assigned Zane to me. He was barely older than me and still a student. How was this going to work and how was he supposed to train me? He couldn’t possibly know any more than I already did.

             
“You’re wondering how someone as young as me and still a student could train you.”

             
“Yeah,” I drew out the word. “No offense.”

             
“None taken. I can assure you I am more than qualified,” he winked.

             
“Look, I don’t know what you heard but I am not that girl,” I said, remembering the current rumors that were floating around about me. One of the many rumors I heard and choice to ignore was the one with Aidan having a torrid affair with a student. Aidan had told me the first time they started he had automatically put a stop to them, but Mackenzie being Mackenzie, had taken it one step further after I left and told everyone I was that student.  I was surprised at first Aidan hadn’t said anything to me, but I think with everything else going on he didn’t want to add more stress to the pile, but a warning would have been nice.

             
I learned very few had believed it was me, saying that Aidan wouldn’t sink that low. That hurt, but better they not believe it. Others who were desperate for gossip pushed the rumor. That rumor had spun as most do. That was one of the reasons I left, because I was so heartbroken. Others said I had become obsessive and was asked to leave and so on. Basically the jist of the rumors were I was the school slut who likes to sleep with her teachers. If he believed these rumors I was going to put a stop to that.

             
“No. No,” he put his hands up, backing away. “I just meant I’ve been training since I was seven. Gabe trained me.”

             
“Oh,” I said relieved. “Since you were seven? Your parents must be hardcore than.”

             
“Not really. Gabe’s my uncle.”

             
I nodded, understanding. That would explain a lot. I could see the similarities. Same dark eyes, same hair – well Zane’s was a little longer – same height and built. He even stood the way Gabe did. I just hoped he wasn’t as strict as Gabe and hopefully not so serious either.

             
We stood there silently for a moment not sure what to say. “Um, what time did you want to start?”

             
“Right, well,” he said, running his fingers through his dark brown hair the way Roman did when he was nervous. “Gabe said that you guys trained twice a day in the morning and again in the evening.”

             
“Yeah,” I said, cringing and hoping he liked his sleep like I did.

             
“Well I can assure you even though I may be new my training skills are as efficient as Gabe’s. After all he did teach me everything he knows,” he said confidently. “I know he got you guys up pretty early in the morning, but I’m not much of a morning person. So if it’s okay with you I rather just work longer in the evening.”

             
“That sounds perfect.” I did a silent yippee in my head.

             
“I’ll let you get back to your guest then,” he said.

             
“Oh that’s just,” I looked behind me and Josie was no longer in my room. I turned back to Zane confused.

             
“Is everything okay?” he asked.

             
“Yes, fine, sorry. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

             
“Tomorrow,” he smiled and took off.

             
I closed the door behind me and looked around the room. “Josie?” I called, looking under the bed.

             
“Up here silly,” she said.

             
Still not use to her disappearing and reappearing act, I jumped, and smacked my head on the bed. “Could you give me a warning when you’re going to do that?” I said, rubbing my throbbing head.

             
“Sorry,” she shrugged. “You want me to, like, whistle next time?” she suggested.

             
I rolled my eyes. “Where did you go?”

             
“I wasn’t sure who was at the door so I had to hide to be safe. Not allowed to risk letting anymore people know about me,” she said, flopping back on my bed. “So who was that? He was cute.” She wiggled her brows.

             
“First off, don’t even go there.” She shrugged innocently. “That was my new trainer.”

             
“What happened to Gabe?”

             
“My big mouth is what happened. Apparently the old Ella isn’t so lost after all,” I sighed, falling back next to her.

             
“Nobody’s perfect and if you ask me you traded up,” she winked.

             
“He’s Gabe’s nephew and I have enough boy troubles as it is. I do not need to add another one to the mix.”

             
“I’ll say. Who would have thought you’d turn out to be such a slut?”

             
I elbowed her. “Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

             
“Let’s see, there was your hot headmaster, Roman, Josef, Tristan,” she said, ticking the names off with her fingers. “And now this guy.”

             
“Like I told you before, with Aidan I was under a spell. There was nothing going on between Josef and I and I have no interest in Zane.”

             
“You got to admit he’s pretty hot,” she said, giving me the eye.

             
“I’ll admit he’s not bad to look at,” I confessed.