The Unwritten Rule (8 page)

Brianna was ready, trying on some of the mom’s lipstick and leaving as soon as you put one because he did not like any color,

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and the phone rang. I replied, “I said. - Hello? , And Ryan said, “Hi, Sarah? -And my heart pounded in his chest. I felt strangely weak but happy, leaning against the wall when Brianna squinting at me and Ryan said, “Sarah? I said - Ryan? -With your name out as a scream, and then there was silence, a slow, painful silence that I knew I had to say something but wanted him to say what it was because last night we talked, he touched my hand and had had hope, but then he went out with Brianna. With Brianna, who was smiling and smoothing her hair even though I was the only person around. Who was telling me with his hand to pass him the phone. I stared at her and she whispered, “Sarah, called me here! And after just mentioned that you would probably here. Definitely liked. “This, am, Sarah,” said Ryan, and Brianna said, “Tell him I’m not here. No, wait, I’m here. Oh, this is so romantic. Como, romantic movie. He called me here! “He touched his mouth with the fingers of one hand and smiled, lost in her memories, and I knew what he was thinking. They had kissed. I had seen. They had kissed and had been watching her, watching all the guys, all guys want it, how could they not? She was Brianna, was beautiful. That was it. “Wait, Brianna is here,” I said, and swallowed the knot of pain stupid that clogged my throat. And that was it. I stood for a moment, watching Brianna smile, hearing his laughter, and listening to his part of the conversation: - What have you been thinking all night? Me too. What? Want to talk to Sarah now? I do not know if I can afford that. I bet you wonder what I said about your kissing technique and, well, I’m afraid there is not enough information to form a real opinion yet. I need more samples, you know. But Sarah said we were perfect for each other. Yes, I said. Listen, “I grinned and held the phone, waiting.

“Perfect,” I said, raising his voice a little, so that Ryan could hear me, and Brianna giggled turning to talk to him. I crept out of my own room as if it were not mine at all and I sat on the stairs trying not to mourn. I thought Ryan had called me to me. To me.

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I allowed myself to think that once, just once, and then forgot. I did forget. I had to. I had to because I saw my best friend started seeing him. I noticed that she really began to like it. I saw his eyes glistened when he saw Ryan in a way that never did any other guy. I saw them together, not for a week or even two, but for a month. Now almost two. But now Ryan and I had kissed, and said he wanted to talk to me when called. Talk to me. The phone rings and then jump. I hope, encouragement, someone to answer and I hear the voice of my father. I hope that he says my name. But it does not. Brianna finally call in the afternoon. It is preparing to leave and says he has been avoiding his calls but, I took it is you and adore you. ? Do not ask, do not say - Where are you going? ? Or - Who are you going? ? Not want to hear your answers. - See you tomorrow? “He says, and I say. Of course. You want to drive, or anger in the car of Ryan? -Not even hesitate when I say his name. “I will drive,” he says. Oh, I’ll go. The fun awaits! “Go for it” I say, I feel there after he has hung up, without thinking about anything or anyone at all. … It is not easy, which is weird, but I can not keep doing this, I can not continue playing the “if … ?. I have to remember how things are. When the phone rings after dinner, replied, imagining that it will be one of the friends mom calling contest so worried about the coming weekend, which was when the finalists Fabulous Family Kitchen. But it’s just a wrong number, someone who hangs up as soon as he hears my voice. I try not to take it as something personal, but I can not help it. I feel sorry for myself. I feel lonely. Hopefully the kiss never happened. I wish had never happened because I did not think about it when I’m sleeping.

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No wake flushed with my arms around the thing. I would not be wondering what to do Brianna and Ryan today. I would not be wondering if he believed in me.

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TRANSLATED BY: Dani CORRECTED BY: Sera

s Tuesday night. Normally I would be doing what I always do on Tuesday night, which is my job, dinner and homework.

But tonight is not normal. Tonight I stand in front of my closet, frowning at my jeans and shirt, looking one by one long-sleeved shirts, cute (I think) was nice (last year). Finally I settled with a pair of jeans and a shirt that mom washed a load of sheets and bleach so now was stained in places. I like the randomness of the pattern, the mystery of how and where the bleach washed out the color of the shirt. The shoes are comfortable. My pink sneakers, but my hands are shaking when I tie the laces. I look at myself in the mirror. I wish I had a bra with padding. I wish it were higher. I have a knot in the stomach. Barely touched my dinner, but Dad also did not eat much of yours either. The call for the finalists would Fabulous Family Kitchen this weekend, and Mom could not come soon enough. Dad and I agreed on that. Even mom was, and has promised to stop cooking the recipes submitted by a time-close ?. But now … now I’m supposed to Ryan’s house. A study. With him and Brianna. I do not want to be there. Be going home. On Monday, I went to school with Brianna. I told myself that the whole thing with Ryan had to end and I did ask: - What did you do last night? Brianna smiled and said, “Oh, you know. Things.

E

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Say. -Ryan-as openly as I can because I’m trying. Really I did, and she threw her bag across the seat and said. I have these new powders out there. It will make your nose is less bright. I looked in the mirror Brianna compact bag. My face was enormous, grotesque with the brightness magnified compact mirror. I ran my fingers over the dust and then on my face, inhaling the smell of expensive cosmetics only have one kind of flavor wealthy. “Much better,” said Brianna, and threw her hair back with one hand. Everything fell neatly in its place, its dark, shiny hair swinging around her face. Oh, look, there’s Ryan. She waved and he waved back, going inside the school. I looked. When we entered school, she directed us to Ryan, and kept walking because it was just Ryan, Brianna’s boyfriend, and since then she had to say hello. That’s what couples did, and had been healthy before. He had passed the phone to Brianna when he called my house after that party, after he and I spoke with. I never thought that maybe I was calling to me. “Hey,” said Brianna, and looked at Ryan, planning to smile, be normal, or try, but when I did, I saw that I was watching. I was watching and was back in the car with him, just so, so fast, a whip pushed back in my memory, a brief second of our mouths was found, and then we were on the platform in the courtyard of Brianna and said he wanted to talk to me and was leaning towards me and I wanted to close, loved him, and … And I said, “I’ll get something out of my locker, and left. Brianna yelled. See you later, Sarah! Ryan said nothing. Brianna saw during school, of course, is the only person that I always, always been the person I expected between classes when I could and exchanged smiles in the aisles when they could.

She was with Ryan, and they were with Greg. Brianna said: “Sarah, over here, with its lighter voice than usual, happy, and then I stopped, smiled and stayed there. Ryan’s shoulder right next to mine

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Brianna while Greg looked, talked and talked and said, “Sarah, what do you think? His voice was charming. I blinked and then said, “Insane” because that’s what Brianna always wanted to say when it sounded like that, and I saw the curve of her smile turning to Greg before swinging back to Ryan. Then linked her arm with Ryan, the gait of a couple, and waved for Greg and me, we both stood there, confused in our own ways. Ryan had to move to let Brianna took his arm and pretended I did not feel the tremor that ran through me when his arm brushed mine. I just moved, and when I did, Ryan’s eyes met mine and he remembered what I saw on Friday night as well. I saw that I was thinking the same thing as me. I saw that I was thinking about that kiss. He had seen the warm light in the eyes of the boys so many times but never to me. Never. “They seem happy,” said Greg. I looked. There was a fading bruise in the shape of mouth in his neck, just the slightest trace of a kiss. Brianna was watching. “Almost two months” I said. “I wish you still were Sunday he said, and took leave of me with his hand, then walked down the hall. It was then I knew he had seen Brianna when he left, and when he came to me after school and whispered: “We spent Friday looking, right? “I looked at him and said:” Did you see Greg again? “Not like you think,” he said. I had to leave the house because my mom was, well, you know. “It would be nice if you lost ten pounds, or would have better hair
skin
all. ? Then I drove around for a while and would not do my homework and knew you’d be busy with that, and Ryan is always doing things like art and never do anything fun, just-talk ?, and Greg was in his front yard, washing your car, so we went and got something to eat, she threw me out. But it was only a hamburger, and to lead, then it’s not like we’re, you know, doing nothing.

She waved to Ryan, who had walked toward us, hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans. Brianna playfully took one and wrapped it around his waist. “You’re so quiet today. “It is quieter than normal, Sarah?

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I shrugged, smiling at Brianna and not looking at Ryan. I smiled and did not look when she turned to him for a kiss. I smiled when I heard their lips meet. Brianna smiled when he said goodbye, pretty boy, and then took my hand, ready to throw me to his car and then to my house where we studied and ate dinner, and Brianna said his mother had called back to his lawyer and why his father still had not called. Brianna did not cry but her voice became very quiet, I hugged her and told her he was sorry. What I meant by what their parents were doing, he did. But also about how I felt when Ryan had said “Goodbye, Sarah, when Brianna and I left school. I had turned to face him, surprised, and he was watching me as I had done before. As he had said he was sorry and he did, but was sorry for his mother, father, and how happy I was when I had watched Ryan as he did. And then there was today and had avoided Brianna and Ryan. I went to the bathroom when I’m not usually this way would not see, I stayed locked in a box reading the graffiti. All were a fox or had an illness or death and no one should never write anything nice for the bathroom walls. Not even anything hopeful. It was as if we were all so busy trying to be happy or saying they were happy, but underneath there was nothing but bitterness, the kind that could only be released in ink, in words unspoken. Brianna cornered me after the last period, her hair in a beautifully casual disorder. His hands were cold, even desperate, grasping mine. “You come with me tonight,” he said. Swear that you will, Sarah. Swear “and said,” Okay, “thinking about his mother waiting with sharp words or his father promised something and Brianna and knowing that would never happen, and as needed there to hold me, to help them navigate the waters of two people it was assumed that they loved.

But then we went down the hall to Ryan and said, “Sorry I could not speak last night, but meet me tonight. Although Sarah

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has to come too, right? His mother is fully expecting to hear about the Cooking Contest and you need a break from that and I have to be a good friend, right? Ryan looked at her and said, “Yes, of course, and I thought no, no, no, no, no. I did not want to see it. I did not want to be home. In the car I told Brianna that I could not go. “You have to,” he said. I can not. - Why not? “Because I can. - Why? I sighed, wrapping my hands around my belt and looking for the right words. “Because that would be weird, right? “I said. I mean, you’re dating him. You want to be with him, and if you’re nervous about … “I’m not nervous,” said Brianna, her voice sharp, then wrinkled his face and blinked hard as he always did his mother talking to her. “I have to keep loving it,” he said finally. I do not want to be like my parents, okay? Do not want to leave when things are not going exactly as I want them. Understand that, right? “Yes, I understand, and Brianna, you’re not your parents. I said you’re not, because that Brianna, Brianna scared, was one that had never been around a guy, only had seen with his parents, and wanted to fix things for her. I did not want to see that look in his eyes confused. He loved her enough to lie to myself and think that going to the home of Ryan would be easy for me. That would be nothing. Brianna’s car is not there when I got home, and I parked in his driveway. I drive down the street and all the surrounding streets in the car of my mother, clutching the steering wheel because it is much more than anything. I drive around until I see Brianna’s car, and then under the street, pretending that we are both coming at the same time.

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- Why do you come down that road? She says when we are walking toward the front door. I shrug my shoulders and she says. I was expecting a little you had come here before me. To see what kind of humor is. “And there, what? Informártelo “when you arrive and then leave? “No, you had stayed and been with us,” he says, grinning at me. Not as boring as you think you are, you know. “Oh, I say, and Ryan opened the door.

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TRANSLATED BY: ANDRE_G CORRECTED BY: cYeLy DiviNNa

to had been at Ryan’s house. Years ago, I came to a birthday party. I remember his mother served a cake from the supermarket, those whose icing is so sweet that almost bitter aftertaste in your mouth. I love that kind of cake, probably because Mom did not even dream of bringing home one of those. “Hey you-Brianna tells him, and wraps his arms on his shoulders, drawing him toward her. “Hello,” said Ryan, giving him a kiss on the forehead, and I see that Brianna is stressed a bit, I note that tilts the head up, put on tiptoe and pressed her lips firmly against his. I look away, do not want to see them kissing but not entitled to feel angry, sad and sick, no compelling reason, in any case, but I do not. I watch and see Brianna kissing lips Ryan ROSAR as short answer to kiss her, before they depart and say: “Come, come. - See? Brianna says when we entered, leaning toward me and whispered, clutching her hand on my arm urgently. What was that?