The Stranger's Woes (62 page)

Whatever was left of me managed to drive to Tekki’s place, where I stretched my mouth in a pitiful parody of a gentle smile. Then I fell asleep right in the doorway of the bedroom. Poor Tekki rolled my useless body to the far corner of the bed and called it a day.

Alas, I didn’t get enough sleep. Again.

“Wake up, Max!”

The voice sounded familiar. I was half asleep and couldn’t figure out which one of my friends had turned into such an inhumane, relentless monster. I couldn’t believe it.

“Aw, man,” I groaned, trying to bury my head under the pillow. “I just closed my eyes.”

“Don’t exaggerate, Nightmare. I just came in, and your eyes had been good and closed for a long time.”

I managed to open my eyes and stared at Melifaro, who was sitting cross-legged on my blanket, getting ready to shake me.

“For the love of Nuflin,” I said. “Man, I hate you. What the heck are you doing here?”

“I live here,” said Melifaro, making a face. “I had a heart-to-heart talk with Tekki and made her put on her glasses. She was finally able to see that I’m much handsomer than you. So, I’m moving in with her. This is my bed now. And you, mister, have to get up and rush over to Juffin’s office.”

I put my head between my hands, held it there a little while, and realized it wasn’t helping. So I began giving orders.

“Great. Now, take my Elixir of Kaxar—it’s on the window ledge. Yeah, that’s it. Give it here. I want you to go down and tell Tekki that I’m going to expire if I don’t get a mug of kamra. It’s up to her whether she wants a dead government official of the highest rank in her bedroom or not. Tekki is a smart and prudent girl—I trust her judgment. Then I want you to bring the kamra to me, and wait while I drink it. And
then
I want you to tell me what you’re doing here. Right now, I can’t make heads or tails of anything.”

I exhaled, took a big gulp of Elixir of Kaxar, and flopped back on the pillow.

Melifaro was completely floored by my insolence. He gasped like a fish out of water, looking for a stinging retort. Soon, however, he reconsidered and went back to fetch me my kamra. He probably realized that it was the only way to get me out of bed without resorting to weaponry and violence.

A few minutes later, Melifaro returned, bringing a tray with kamra. He still looked slightly bewildered.

“How come there’s only one cup?” I said.

“You need two?” Melifaro said, surprised. “Wow, your royal ‘we’ seems to have kicked in.”

“The second cup would be for you. For your information, I’m a hospitable person. You should have thought of that. Or are you the one who just woke up?”

“Here,” said Tekki, bringing another tray into the bedroom. “Kamra for Sir Melifaro, and other mishmash for chewing and swallowing. He rushed back up before I could make all of this. He has separation anxiety and couldn’t bear not being in your presence.”

“Oh, I couldn’t even dream of having breakfast in His Majesty’s bedroom,” said Melifaro with the tone of a court sycophant.

Tekki put the tray down on the blanket and frowned. “I always suspected that sooner or later Sir Max would turn my bedroom into a distant banquet room of the tavern. Looks like I was right. Now bread crumbs will be tickling me tenderly at night. Can’t wait for the thrill. I guess that must be the domestic bliss that all young girls dream about.”

“You were forewarned that I was a monster. Melifaro here warned you many times. He warns everybody. Day and night he runs around screaming, ‘Help! We’ve got a Sir Max on our hands! A true monster!’”

Melifaro frowned, but Tekki listened to me with unconcealed delight. I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot. I mustered all my charm, assumed a repentant air, rolled my eyes back, and threw my palms heavenward in a martyr-like fashion. Tekki studied my face for a while, laughed, then waved and ran downstairs. And I realized I had finally woken up.

And that was good news.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“Juffin’s leaving,” said Melifaro, his mouth full.

I went cold with apprehension. “What do you mean, leaving?”

Melifaro looked at my face, frozen in horror, and giggled with gloating delight. I concluded that nothing dire had happened and patiently waited for him to stop.

“Juffin and Shurf are leaving to grapple with the Spirit of Xolomi. For a dozen days or so,” Melifaro said. “I have a feeling that in their absence you will have to take command of what’s left of the Minor Secret Investigative Force. You can use this as an opportunity to testdrive your majestic plural, not to mention your regal responsibilities. That’s going to be quite a show.”

“Okay, now run that past me one more time,” I said, “only this time, go slowly and start from the very beginning. What happened, what are the consequences, and what are we going to do about it?”

“Boy, are you a pain in the neck, Max. I don’t know about Juffin, but you sure will do fine as Lonli-Lokli’s replacement,” Melifaro said. “Okay, Magicians be with you, let’s take it from the top. A couple of hours ago, Kamshi, the warden of Xolomi and our longtime friend, sent Juffin a call. He said that the stones of Xolomi had begun to moan. That’s a sure sign that the Spirit of Xolomi is going to be throwing a big party soon. Last time this happened was at the very beginning of the Code Epoch. It caused quite a panic back then. Nobody thought Juffin would manage to calm it down, but eventually he did. Look,Max, you’d better start getting dressed. Juffin asked you to come as soon as you could.”

“When did he say that?”

“An hour and a half ago, at least.”

“Are you saying that you were trying to wake me up all that time? I don’t believe you.”

“You should, though, because I was. More or less. First Juffin and I tried to send you a call, but you wouldn’t wake up. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen our Venerable Head break into a sweat. But to no avail. A half hour later, I realized it was an exercise in futility, so I sent a call to Tekki and asked her to wake you up. She said there was no way she was going to wake you up two hours after you’d gone to sleep, that it would be tantamount to suicide. She said if we were willing to risk our lives, we should go ahead and do it ourselves. Then I came over here. Meanwhile, Max, the time is ticking. So, please get ready.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Melifaro was so serious that I dressed in record time. I had never known myself to be so prompt.

“We can go now,” I said.

“Praise be the Magicians,” Melifaro said.

He gulped down the rest of his kamra and got up. I examined the bed—not a single crumb in sight. No “tender tickling” for Tekki tonight, I thought.

Tekki was sitting behind the bar, her head buried in the morning issue of the
Royal Voice
. The tavern was empty. Tekki still didn’t have a cook, and there weren’t too many customers who wanted to have a stiff drink on an empty stomach just before sundown in this part of town.

I waved goodbye to Tekki and left the establishment. Neither of us said a word out loud, since we preferred Silent Speech for our lyrical outpourings. And I didn’t want to give Melifaro the pleasure of eavesdropping on our billing and cooing.

“Here’s the deal: I’m going to drive really fast, and in return you’ll brief me on the Spirit of Xolomi and its R&R habits, m’kay?” I said.

“Do you mean to tell me you haven’t heard of the Spirit of Xolomi?” Melifaro said, raising his eyebrows. “Some education you’ve got under your belt. Not up to the standards required in a royal family. But all right, start her up, and I’ll tell you all about it since your ignorance casts a shadow on our ill-starred organization. Which has already been compromised to the limits.

“News flash number one: The Royal Prison of Xolomi is located on the exact spot that our scholars call the Heart of the World. I’ll bet you didn’t know that, either. Well, unlike you, the first king of the ancient dynasty, Xalla Maxun the Hairy, knew that very well. That’s why he built his palace on Xolomi Island. It was clear from the beginning that the palace had a mind of its own. It was almost alive. It could tell friend from foe and didn’t let outsiders inside. So Xalla Maxun and his descendants were well protected from disloyal magicians and other powerful rogues, who were a dime a dozen back in those days. The guys were all scrambling to plant their own backsides on the king’s throne. You’re the only one who’s eager to reject a crown that you can get for free.”

“Let’s not digress,” I said. “You said we didn’t have much time, and I don’t want to pester Juffin with questions. I don’t think he’s quite up to it now.”

“You’re right, he’s not. Where was I? Oh, so for centuries everything was in top-notch shape, even better. And then our legendary King Mynin was born, and the palace rejected him for some reason. Long story short, right after Mynin’s coronation, the palace became unlivable for the king. Mynin wasn’t going to shed too many tears about it, so he built Rulx Castle, which you already know inside and out. Then he just up and moved there.

“During the reign of Mynin and the first Gurigs, what’s now the prison was called the Xolomi Higher Institute and its graduates were powerful magicians. The idea was that they would serve the king and not the Orders. They say that back then, time itself flowed different within Xolomi’s walls. The students would spend a whole century there, maturing, mastering the program of education, and then graduating, while only two years would pass in the World outside. But the king’s efforts were in vain. In the beginning, the graduates of the Xolomi Higher Institute did exterminate a lot of the Ancient Orders, but almost immediately they founded Orders of their own, and the same old thing started all over again. By the way, your new in-law, Sir Loiso Pondoxo, was a student at the Institute. Which is, naturally, the best possible recommendation for it.

“Finally, one of the Gurigs—either the Fourth or the Fifth, I forget now—closed down the unruly Higher Institute. Then, some time later, our kings moved back to Xolomi. Everything went back to the way it had been during the time of Xalla the Hairy: nobody could enter Xolomi without the king’s consent, and any form of magic was useless against the people inside its amazing walls. Which was pretty handy, given the times.”

“How come they turned it into a prison?”

“Not too long before the Code Epoch, Xolomi Castle changed again. Now anyone can enter it, but nobody can leave without the warden’s help. Not even Magician Nuflin himself, I believe. Not the best place to live, if you know what I mean. Well, of course you do, you spent a few days there yourself, remember?”

“That I’ll never forget,” I said, stopping the amobiler by the entrance to the Headquarters of the Ministry of Perfect Public Order. “But you never told me anything about the Spirit of Xolomi.”

“Uh, you see, I don’t quite understand it myself,” Melifaro said. “I don’t think anyone does for sure. You’re already aware that Xolomi is not your run-of-the-mill fortress. It’s more like a sentient being that is unlike anything we’re used to thinking of as a living creature. It has a soul, or a Shadow, or whatever you want to call it. So, from time to time, it starts showing signs of life. And those signs of life are not something we’re too happy about. We humans are such spoiled creatures, after all. We want a quiet life without surprises.”

“Listen to Mr. Philosopher,” said Juffin.

He had just come out to greet us, cheerful and glum at the same time. He surveyed me from head to toe. His stare was warm and heavy, so heavy that it even made me hunch my shoulders.