The Remedy Files: Illusion (11 page)

CHAPTER 15
 

  I don’t have to go through the forest this time. I am already standing in the middle of the field. Gavin is to my right, wildly waving at me to follow him. At times, if the wind blows at the same time that he moves his arms, I can catch a hint of his woodchips and fire smell. Home. He’s my home.

I want to go in Gavin’s direction. It’s the right way to go, I can tell with every single nerve in my body that it’s the way I need to go. That path is my heartbeat. Without it, I don’t live another day.

My eyes drift to the man on the cliff. He’s walking the edge of it, the bountiful tree standing behind him in what would be the most perfect painting if he would just stop moving. Mesmerizing. That’s the word. But I don’t know if it’s him or if it’s the tree. It’s as though every single component of what’s in my eyesight right now is the core of my soul. I want to be up there in such a way that surprises me. I went from being unsure of the man in the tree to now desiring him. Just to be a part of that perfect scenario.

I need to find out who he is. Gavin would understand. I’m seeking knowledge like he appreciates. I look at Gavin and give a slight wave in hopes that he will forgive me before moving towards the cliff, the tree, the mystery man.The rumbling noise is still faint in the background, just not as strong as it usually is. I wonder if I have much more of a head start on it this time.

My walk to the cliff is fast, there are no weights in my legs, nothing on my heels. I just stay focused on the man. He sees me coming and stops at the edge of the cliff, waiting for me to join him.

I make it to the bottom of the hill and climb up to get to the edge of the cliff. The rocks this time aren’t falling; instead they are acting like perfectly planned steps, helping my ascent to be flawless.

As I get closer to the top, I see the man reaching over the edge with his arm outstretched.

“Evangeline!” I hear a voice call out below me.

Looking down I see Gavin. He must have followed me. He’s standing under me next to the wall, calling me to come back down to him.

The man’s hand is so close. I have to keep climbing to him. I can see the outline of his body but the sun’s glare is too bright. I can’t see his face. I stretch my hand out to his. Our fingers begin to connect as I move my hand towards his. Just as I feel the strength of his grip, my foot slips on one of the rocks as it comes tumbling out of the wall. I follow it’s descent, my screams loud as I see the man’s hand drift further away from me.

I land hard in Gavin’s arms as he catches me. “I’ve got you.”

Turning around, we see the train. It snuck up on us and we don’t have time to get out of its way. Its blaring horn is declaring our fate. Everything suddenly goes black.

***

I wake up. That dream was unlike any of the others I’ve had before. I want to know who the man is and why I can’t seem to get to him.

Rolling to my side, I notice there’s a pretty light blue box sitting on my night stand with a little note next to it. I open the note to read, “You will always be my best friend. Never forget me! I’ll never forget you! –J”.

Jacqueline is so sweet and thoughtful. I open it up to see a beautiful tiny crystal rock wrapped in a bright red ribbon with a pin attached to it. The rock was something we found in Level 12 while we were on a field trip to the Museum. It was stuck behind a case identifying previous tools used in The Before. Jacqueline had nonchalantly bent down as though she was tying her shoelaces, and slipped the rock in her pocket. After the field trip was over, we went to the Park, laid on the grass holding the rock up to the sun and made up stories about where it came from.

I rotate it in my hand. It was definitely smaller than when we first found it. I noticed one side was smoother than the rest. She must have had it cut in half somehow and then kept the other half. I will forever treasure this little gift.

My distraction with the pin is immediately replaced by my memories of last night. I hop out of bed. I need to see Gavin immediately. I hope he’s in our spot. He knows about today. He just has to be there, waiting for me, wondering what my future is going to be as much as I am.

I head for the bathroom when a knock on my door stops me. Oh no. Someone saw me last night. I don’t move. The knock comes louder this time. Maybe it’s Jacqueline. It has to be Jacqueline, right? She probably wants to see me one last time. Once I feel like I convinced myself, I walk to the door and open it.

“Good morning!” A lady with slightly graying brown hair and bright pink lipstick pushes pass me. Two other younger women follow her, with large red bags in their hands.

“Evangeline, I presume.”

I nod, unsure about why this lady is standing in front of me in my room. I recognize her- I recognize all of them. I’ve seen them at various times at the Co-op Stands helping out.

“I am Beatrice- and this is Jessica and Katrina.” She gives a small wave to the other ladies now standing behind her. “We are here, dear one” She steps closer and uses her fingers to comb down my hair which I’m sure is sticking up still from sleep. “to make you look beautiful for your big day!”

“They- they never said anything about this.” I stutter. “They just told us to be down at the Park an hour before the Ceremony.”

“Tsk-tsk. It’s too important of a day, dear one! The Community Board hires us to take care of you! You are in safe hands for the rest of the day!”

I stand there, shaking my head. No, this can’t be. I have to get to Gavin. They have to understand this!

“No-“ I start to say but then Beatrice cuts me off.

“Nonsense!” She claps her hands twice. “Now let’s go. The clock is ticking!” She pushes me to the bathroom. “Hurry, hurry! 10 minutes- shower up, brush those teeth, but leave the hair and face to us.” Beatrice pushes me to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I look in the mirror and splash water over my face. I have to find a way to get to Gavin today before the Ceremony. He has to help me figure out what to do. 

I lean against the door and sigh. Jacqueline’s bedroom door is shut to my right. Maybe I could just sneak through her room without anyone noticing. A pounding on the other side of my door brings me back to standing position.

“The clock is ticking! 8 minutes!”

This lady is relentless. I put toothpaste on my toothbrush and hop in the shower in efforts to multitask as quickly as possible.

The next few hours are a whirlwind of activity. They bring me a gourmet breakfast to eat in my room that has every choice I could possibly ever think of as though it was my last day in this world although I barely touch any of it. I only keep thinking about how to get away; how to escape this for just a few minutes. That’s all I needed.

“You need your energy so eat up!” Beatrice says several different times.

As I would chew on a few bites, all the ladies were hard at work with my hair, trying to get it somewhat manageable and figuring out if they wanted it up or down, styled or more natural. There were multiple times Katrina and Jessica would complete one style just to have Beatrice look me up and down and say, “No, no. That’s not right. Start over.” I want to stop them and scream, “It’s good enough!” so the process would be over and I could get to Gavin.

When they were ready to move to my makeup, Beatrice waved away all the food. Katrina and Jessica hurried on moving all of the food out in the hall before returning and sat down inches from me, taking turns breathing in my face as they worked on different aspects of my features. The powder from some of the make-up would make me sneeze and Beatrice would make her “tsk-tsk” noise every single time. She made it clear I wasn’t her first choice to work on.

I think of Jacqueline. She’s right next door right now surely getting the same thing done. Maybe they are finished already, though. It wouldn’t take a lot to make her ready; she’s naturally beautiful. She wouldn’t require all of this excess stuff like I do.

When they were finished with my hair and make-up, they moved on to wardrobe selection, holding up dress after dress to me until Beatrice finally declared one as being suitable enough. It was a pretty green color, similar to the color of the forest grass in mid June. This is the only time we can wear a color outside of the norm. Just for the Futures Ceremony. It marks us as being special and makes us stand out of the crowd. I have never seen a green color so rich on a garment before. It was beautiful.

They slid some shoes on my feet that I’ve never worn before: high heels. A neutral tan sort of color that almost blended in with my flesh tone. I was amazed at how pretty- long and lean- my feet suddenly looked as I turned my foot in and out, admiring all sides of the shoe.

“Okay, stand up!” Beatrice commands.

I stand up and immediately wobble, falling into the arms of Katrina and Jessica as they catch me on both sides.

“They will take some getting used to but you’ll learn quickly.” Katrina whispered.

They slowly let go of my arms, making sure that I am steady and won’t fall. I am afraid to move so I don’t. Beatrice reaches into one of her final bags and pulls out a necklace which she ties behind my neck and a couple of earrings that clips to my ears. Finally, she clasps a thick shiny bracelet around my wrist. Once finished, they all take a step back and admire their final work, cooing with praise.

“Ok, go look!” Beatrice motions me to the bathroom.

I take a step and almost lose it, trying hard to balance myself on the small heels. I reach out to Katrina’s shoulder to steady myself. Taking a deep breath, I proceed slowly to the bathroom, taking each step carefully. Once I get closer to the sink, I immediately reach out for it, using it as a crutch to steady myself.

I look up in the mirror and gasp. I hardly recognize myself. I step back to be able to take as much in as I can in the short mirror. My hair is curled for once and pulled back into a curly bun with loose strands dangling on both sides of my face. My lips are a beautiful deep pink color and my eyes are outlined with black lines while my eyelashes curl up towards the lids. Between the dark eye makeup and the contrast of the deep green dress, my typical dark hazel eyes now look light, a fierce green color with specks of yellow throughout. The dress has small straps that cup the side of my shoulders, making my neck look long and smoothes out the curvy shapes of my body.

I look… I look beautiful. I never thought I could look like this; never thought it was possible. I want Jacqueline to see me, and Gavin. I actually want the whole town to see me. I’ve always blended in… but now, I feel like people will notice me. Even though I don’t like to be noticed, today looking like this, I want to be seen by everyone.

“Your smile tells me I’ve done a good job.” Beatrice is leaning in the doorway, watching my reaction to her artwork.

“I never expected I could look like this.” I respond candidly, momentarily distracting my other thoughts by the beautiful stranger staring back at me.

“Enjoy it, dear one. It’s the only day you get to so live it up!” She sings out. “Now, chop, chop. There’s a lot more left to do before the Ceremony begins.”

I turn around to face her. “You guys aren’t done?”

Beatrice laughs. “No, no. We are with you all day. You didn’t really expect to be left alone to fend for yourself, did you? It’s a big day! Lots to do and prepare before you begin your new future!”

“Oh,” I need time to think. “I am going to use the bathroom first.”

“Ok but be quick! The clock is ticking!” She reminds me for the millionth time.

Beatrice steps out of the doorway and I immediately close the door. I listen to make sure she has indeed stepped away and can hear her talking to Katrina and Jessica.

I open the cabinet door under the sink carefully. Sometimes it squeaks and I don’t need Beatrice wondering what I’m doing. While showering earlier, I balled up my jeans and hid them in the back corner of the cabinet in efforts to protect the papers I copied. Since this may be my last time in this room, I need to find a new hiding place for them pronto.

Reaching for the jeans, I take out the copies of the confidential letter, folding them into even smaller pieces. I reach into the front of my dress, careful to not stretch it and tuck the sheets of paper into the side strap of my bra. It’s the only safe place for now until I can get to Gavin. Everything else I own will be at risk of getting moved into my new home.

My future is about to begin with so many questions about my past. So many questions about the present.  I need answers and there’s only one person who can give them. I have to find a way to get out of Beatrice’s eyesight. I have to get to Gavin.

CHAPTER 16
 

In Level 5, we learned about the different types of birds that may fly overhead every now and then. One of those was the Silver Hawk. The Silver Hawk is the boss of the sky. All other birds will get out of its way when it comes zooming through. It is incredibly perceptive, noticing the slightest movement of a tiny bug from hundreds of feet away.

Beatrice is the human version of the Silver Hawk. Not only does she have stripes of silver running through her hair but her eyes remain on her young and prey at all times. Never once did she take her eyes off of me. There were times I thought I was screaming out my thoughts about trying to get away because it was as though she knew that’s exactly what I was trying to do. Somehow, she managed to always keep one eye on me and one on every single other girl in my Level as though we were in competition.

When I finally saw Jacqueline, I waved and started to walk towards her when Beatrice grabbed my arm to hold me back and said, “Tsk-tsk. You aren’t to talk to any of your Level classmates until after the Futures Ceremony.” She then took that hand of hers that speaks for her in silence and made the wave that told Jacqueline’s team they need to go in a different direction. They all scurried away, pulling Jacqueline with them.

Jacqueline looked gorgeous. She had a turquoise blue dress on that flared out at the bottom, making her look like she could twirl around and captivate the world. Her brown curly hair was pulled all together to the side, lying on her shoulder, making her look like a stunning movie star of The Before. While I was still stumbling in my heels, Jacqueline was walking in her silver ones as though she was born with those shoes on her feet. She always makes things look so easy.

After getting ready, I had to direct the movers on declaring what items I own, which ones will be going with me to my new life and which ones will be recycled by the cooperative. Most of the furniture would remain for someone from the next Level to move into my old room. I was able to conspicuously take Jacqueline’s pin that she gave me before Beatrice snapped her head in my direction. “What is that?” She had said.

“It’s just an empty box. I was going to throw it in the trash.” I lied, hoping she didn’t see me take the pin out of it.

She didn’t reply, but just gave a slight nod of her head and closely watched me as I took the box to the trash and dropped it in. I then avoided eye contact and walked about the room as though I was continuing to make inventory of the little that I owned.

By the time I am able to see Jacqueline again, we are standing around the Main Stage at the park, as Beatrice is telling me about what to expect for the Ceremony. At this point, there is only a little over an hour left before the Ceremony began and my hope for getting to Gavin is quickly diminishing.

“Evangeline,” Beatrice is standing two inches from my face. “Are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

I refocus my eyes on Beatrice. “Yes.”

Beatrice gives me her look that I’ve already become accustomed to, the “don’t mess with a Silver Hawk” look, and continues on with her speech about how we will all be seated and where I will walk to when the proclamations are made.

Before I know it, the Futures Ceremony is in full swing and preparing to begin. When the announcement is made that we are to line up in preparation, my mind officially shuts down on me. So many thoughts have been swirling in my head all day and I haven’t been able to do anything about them. Even if I had answers, what would that do to change things? What could
I
do to revolutionize anything? I had no control to even get to Gavin today. This was my future. The regulations were going to increase, everything was about to change even more so. There was nothing I could do except try to re-believe in my world which as of recently has left me so confused.

Not only am I about to have my future revealed, but the Doctor is going to immediately steal me away to run more tests. My future won’t actually be determined at the Ceremony because there’s no telling what the Doctor is going to decide at the appointment. My eyes changing color could be more detrimental than I realize. It’s obviously a big deal because of the way they’ve always handled it.

The fogginess of my mind moves in front of my eyes as details of the events blur. There are makeshift corridors that must have been built this morning on both sides of the arena to keep us hidden from the crowd until we step on stage. The men from Level 17 are on one side as us women are on the other. We are told to line up one after each other, not allowed to talk to each other or look around. All we can do is stare directly in front of us. “It’s not about your Level classmates, it’s about you today so keep the attention on you. This is your new life.” One of the Ceremony assistants directs. 

In front of me appears to be Pauline. As I scan down to her feet, my thought is confirmed as her foot is tapping on the floor. I’ve never seen Pauline be still. No matter what, some part of her body- even if it’s just her finger- is moving, tapping on whatever is around. Her hair has been curled into ringlets that are much more structured than mine and pulled back into a ponytail. She’s wearing a dark purple dress that sparkles in the light with black heels. From this view, she looks pretty. I’m sure they’ve done her up just as much as me.

We are soon directed to climb the stairs to the stage and take a seat, starting with the chair closest to the middle of the stage on our side with the back row going first. As we near the stage, the applause from the audience grows louder. I follow Pauline, staying a few steps behind. She sits in the last seat of the back row so I repeat the pattern in the first row. Apparently I am pretty close to the middle since only four girls are after me. I want badly to see where Jacqueline is. Trying to use my peripheral vision is no use since everyone looks so different today. I know she’s not to my immediate left since I’m on the edge of the row and past that, it’s impossible to tell.

I keep my eyes forward on the audience. Familiar faces are spread all throughout. There seems to be a bigger crowed than they were anticipating because people are standing next to the filled seats. The stage lights prevent me from seeing all of the rows but it looks like a strong crowd came out to watch. There are twenty seats blocked off in the front row for us to exit to once our Future announcements have been made.

Without being able to look to my right, I can only imagine that all the guys came out the same time we did or maybe even right before. Because when the last girl sits down, the applause drifts off.

The Community Board members begin to filter in one by one on each side of the stage, walking to the seats lined in the middle. When all ten of them are standing in front of their chairs, nine sit down in unison as the President of the Board, and the shortest of them all, Mr. Pancolietta, remains standing. He then strolls to the microphone in front of the stage, waving to the crowd in a pageant-like fashion as the audience continues their clapping. Mr. Pancolietta remains quiet until the noise dies down.

“Today, ladies and gentlemen,” He begins, the wind blowing through the few dark hairs he has left on his head which are always worn combed over to the side. “Is a special day. It is a day we wait for every single year as it celebrates a new Level of  Impetus entering adulthood and the beginning of the rest of their lives.” The crowd erupts into clapping again and Mr. Pancolietta waits a few seconds before continuing. “This Level has spent the past seventeen years, enjoying life in the community, learning about the ways of Impetus, and how to contribute to keep us remaining as a sustainable community. We have been able to survive over the past fifty years since The Before and it is from raising such intelligent contributors to Impetus that makes this possible!” Another round of applause echoes through the sky.

“The Community Board has been taking careful notes on this year’s Level 17, making sure we are observing every single significant contribution they make and documenting every talent that seems to come so natural to them. There are a lot of talents in this group, I tell you!” He makes this same stiff attempt at a joke every year which leaves several audience members laughing. 

Mr. Pancioletta beams at what he deems to be a successful result and continues on with his speech. “What is important to our Future as a Community is to make sure our young people are brought into their adulthood in roles that will make both them and Impetus successful. We spend years gathering the data to make sure the decisions for their future are the absolute best and right ones to make. Both the Paired and Unpaired are incredibly important to our community. They keep it running and functioning to ensure a bright future that doesn’t end in the mistakes that The Before made. Every single role is crucial and every single person is valued. There is no role more important than the others.” An obvious lie. I have to resist the urge to glance at Jacqueline to see her expression.

“We have an interesting alignment in this year’s Level where there are exactly ten males and ten females. Please keep in mind that despite the even numbers, we still evaluate each person on their own as to whether they are a fit for the Paired or Unpaired future. We will never risk a future just to honor even numbers.” Another lie. I personally heard them say they will pair two people who weren’t supposed to! They just made that change!

I want to scream from my chair. I want to tell them I know- that I overheard the conversation! That the Doctor even is on it! My boss, the man who I’ve worked under for the past four years knows the truth that is being hidden from the rest of us!

Instead of screaming, I squirm in my chair, adjusting my dress over and over again as Mr. Pancioletta drowns on. 

“So, with no further ado, let’s begin this year’s Ceremonial Pairing!” Explosions of approval echo from the crowd. “As you all know, we will start by calling the females one by one. When each one steps up to the front, they will stand right here-“ he points at the red X in front of him. “-as I read what their future will be. If it is a Paired match, when I call the male’s name, I want him to join me right here-“he points at the blue X in front of him. “-so I can announce them in front of Impetus and make the Pairing official. Please hold your applause until each future has been announced.”

I need to do something about this. Right now. The microphone isn’t too far away. I could simply stand up and tell everyone about all the lies. About how our wrist monitors work outside Impetus walls and there are other communities that they don’t tell us about. That our futures can be changed the day before the ceremony and that they’re just a tool they use to cover their needs and fix their own mistakes. About how they obviously don’t care about us or our lives like they claim because they purposely terminate young people and babies. They kill us off like we’re nothing whenever they choose.

If the Community Board tries to deny it, I have the papers I copied and could hold them up for everyone to see. They won’t be able to punish me- not in front of everyone who will be able to see that I’m telling the truth.

I count the number of steps to the microphone. I could do it. In just fifteen steps, I could save us all.