The Regal Rules for Girls (33 page)
Best après ski:
The Farm Club (a Sloane Ranger mecca!), the Coco Club, and PUBLIC Verbier. (Club owner Guy Pelly noticed that the same folks that love PUBLIC London are the same folks that head to the slopes of Verbier in the winter. So he figured why not bring their favorite London club directly to the Alps?)
www.public.uk.com
What to drink at the Coco Club (only if someone else is buying):
The Ice Chalet—a concoction of champagne and cognac, served in a hand-carved chalet ice sculpture with straws sticking through the roof. The good news is it serves eight people; the bad news is it costs $7,300. For those who want something cheaper, there is the $960 Avalanche cocktail that comes in a mountain-shaped glass dotted with Swarovski crystals.
Val d’Isere (France)
There are so many Sloane Rangers in this elite French resort, Val d’Isere has been dubbed “Val Sloane Square.”
Best après ski:
Dick’s Tea Bar,
www.dicksteabar.com
Lech (Austria)
Perfect for discreet old-money types.
Who goes there:
Queen Beatrix and the Dutch royal family. This was also a beloved favorite of the late Princess Diana.
Where to stay:
Hotel Arberg,
www.arlberghotel.at
Zermatt (Switzerland)
Who goes there:
William and Kate, the Duchess of York, Princesses Beatrice, Princess Eugenie, Madonna.
Best après ski:
Heimberg Bar, the Brown Cow Pub.
Meribel (France)
Who goes there:
Prince Felipe of Spain, the Earl and Countess of Wessex.
Where to stay:
If you want to mix with royalty and the aristocracy, book your chalet with Scott Dunn,
www.scottdunn.com/luxury-holiday/ski-holidays
.
The Oxford vs. Cambridge Boat Race River Thames, London,
www.theboatrace.org
A tradition since 1829, this 4.25-mile rowing race between England’s most prestigious and illustrious universities is one of the flirtiest afternoons in the London social calendar. I love it because the race itself is exciting, and even better, it’s over in less than twenty minutes. After that, the day is all about socializing with cute (ever so tipsy) British boys along the sunny riverbank.
Who are the rowers:
All handsome, all insanely intelligent, all insanely tall. (Most are six-foot-five or taller.) Remember the scarily attractive Winklevoss twins in the movie
The Social Network
? They rowed in this race a few years ago.
Where to go:
Anywhere on the towpath between Putney Bridge and Hammersmith (get there early to ensure a good viewing spot).
The Crabtree Pub is also a good base. Afterward, crash a party at any of the nearby rowing clubs.
Scottish Dancing Events (aka “Reels”)
Not nearly as nerdy as it sounds. This weekly hobby is extremely trendy and increasingly popular among well-heeled London singletons. A brilliant way to learn something new and dance with gorgeous British boys.
What to expect:
Scottish-style square dancing (but you don’t need to know the steps to attend a session, as the MC will talk you through it all, dance by dance).
What to wear:
The practice sessions are casual, but the formal balls will require an actual ball gown.
Bonus:
Many reels take place at The Hurlingham Club
www.royalcaledonianball.com/other_events
.
R
ECOMMENDED
R
EADING:
Gone with the Windsors
by Laurie Graham
This is one of my favorite novels of all time. It’s the fictional diary of Wallis Simpson’s best American friend, Maybell, and her hilarious descriptions of American girls crashing the upper-class parties of 1930s Britain. Lots of yachts, lots of dresses, lots of diamonds. And if you can’t stomach nonfiction,
Gone with the Windsors
is a lighthearted way to get the scoop on the clever divorcée from Baltimore who stole the heart of a king. I promise you will laugh out loud.
The American Heiress
by Daisy Goodwin
For those of you who love Lady Cora, the (American) Countess of Grantham in
Downton Abbey
, this sparkling novel is based on a very similar American character, who just happens to go by the very same name. It tells the tale of a bright-eyed American girl named Cora Cash, who travels to England, determined to find the one thing money can’t buy in the US—a title. Of course Cora must navigate the murky waters of Old World aristocrats and obscure codes of conduct (something all American girls in contemporary London will relate to).
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Nevertheless, I actually know an American woman who refuses to stay in any Englishman’s country house unless she has physical proof that there is central heating and a decent coffee machine.
2
At least until William and Kate reproduce.
3
Edward, Prince of Wales (crowned King Edward V in 1910).
4
Also derogatorily known as “Sloane Rangers,” “Toffs,” “Hooray Henry’s,” “Ra-Ra-Rupert’s,” “Chinless Wonders,” “Tim-Nice-But-Dim’s,” “Fops,” or quite simply “Yah’s”—all referring to the stereotype of a young upper- or upper-middle-class privately educated Englishman.
5
It is interesting to note that even though less than 4 percent of the UK male population went to a private boarding school, graduates of these schools make up 75 percent of UK judges, 70 percent of UK finance directors, 45 percent of UK top civil servants, and 32 percent of British MPs.
6
Old Etonians include: Prince William, Prince Harry, Earl Spencer, George Orwell, Ian Fleming (creator of James Bond), Hugh Laurie, Eddie Redmayne, Bear Grylls, Damian Lewis, London Mayor Boris Johnson, and nineteen British prime ministers, including David Cameron. The school uniform consists of white tie, morning coat, and pinstripe trousers.
7
Old Gordonstounians include The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Charles, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, and Princess Anne’s children, Peter and Zara.
8
Famous old Harrovians include seven British prime ministers (most notably Winston Churchill), King Hussein of Jordan, James Blunt, and Cary Elwes (the prince in the movie
The Princess Bride
).
9
Alma mater of Henry Cavill; alumni are known as “Old Stoics.”
10
Winchester was founded in 1382—making it the oldest “public” school in the world. Because the school was founded by William of Wykeham, alumni (which include the likes of Hugh Dancy) are known as “Old Wykehamists.”
11
Needless to say, most London bar staff are not sober. The upside to this is you can often convince them to give a cute American girl a free shot.
12
You emerge from your stint at university with one of the following: 1st class degree (A average), 2:1 (B average), 2:2 (C average), or 3rd class degree (D average). Personally, I’ve never met anyone that graduated with anything other than 2:1, so I’m not quite sure how British employers differentiate among applicants.
13
I actually know of one UK university that permanently canceled their annual Valentine’s Day party due to constant outbreaks of mono (or “glandular fever”).
14
A fifteen-minute time-out for players with visibly bleeding injuries.
15
Prince William had been to America once before (in 2004), when he took a break from St. Andrews to visit an American friend, a Nashville heiress by the name of Anna Sloan, who was then studying at the University of Edinburgh. Anna had invited a group of their mutual friends to stay at her estate in Tennessee.
T
HE
S
EASON
The American invasion has done English society a great deal of good. American women are bright, clever, and wonderfully cosmopolitan…In the art of amusing men they are adept, both by nature and education, and can actually tell a story without forgetting the point—an accomplishment that is extremely rare among the women of other countries.
—O
SCAR
W
ILDE
T
o be honest, I had never been one for spectator sports. Back in America, I would have rather done just about anything than watch baseball or football or almost any other game involving a ball. I just couldn’t focus on any of it. Sometimes I felt like I might as well be watching fish swim back and forth in a tank.
But then I discovered the British
Season
.
Sure there are sports involved but it’s so much more elegant, so much more civilized, and usually there’s champagne being handed to me at some point. (In fact, it’s quite easy for all of the Season
events to simply blur into one long, alcoholic picnic.) So from a girl who at one time would’ve rather died than gone to another sporting event, I’ve been entirely converted. And so will you.
Prior to 1958, well-bred English girls (aka “debutantes”) were formally presented to the Queen to symbolically mark their debut into aristocratic society. This was followed by a nonstop string of social events known as “the Season.” In the beginning, the Season was defined by the movements of the royal family, who only lived in London between May and August. During these months, the aristocracy would also reside in the capital and this very social time of year became integral to the aristocratic marriage market.
This is how it worked: At the tender age of seventeen, upper-class English girls were launched into society with a formal curtsey to the monarch—also known as being presented “at Court.”
Girls had to be presented to the Queen by a female relative who had also been presented to the Queen when she was seventeen (otherwise they were not allowed to take part in the Season).
After the big curtsey, the parents of each debutante hosted a black-tie ball at which their daughter would officially “debut.” These balls were interspersed with a whirlwind of cocktail parties and lots of fun summer sporting events. Most “debs” went out at least five nights a week, usually costing their families up to $200,000 in today’s money. (That’s a lot of dresses.)
The ultimate purpose of all these parties was to display the young, aristocratic girls to the young, aristocratic boys. The lucky bachelors were usually the sons of UK nobility and gentry, and known to everyone as “the debs’ delights.” Needless to say, it was
every debutante’s goal to be engaged to one of them by the end of the Season.
The debutantes were really the first “It Girls” and celebrity fashion plates of their kind, and as you can imagine, the society photographers loved them. Still, deb etiquette was rigorous. A young woman could flirt and go on dates, but virginity was a must. Young men who tried to go too far were blacklisted as NSIT (Not Safe in Taxis).
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Believe me, if I could be born into another era, this would be the one I would choose! Life was one big Nancy Mitford
2
novel! Sadly, I was born in Colorado in the late twentieth century, and by the time I made it to London, the traditional nineteenth-century English Season had morphed into something else entirely. After World War II, English society became slightly more egalitarian, and the strict social constraints of the original Season could no longer survive. Blue-blooded families were slowly being overtaken by new money, and some sly aristocratic mothers began charging a fee to present unconnected nouveau riche girls to the Queen.
As Princess Margaret infamously declared, “We had to put a stop to it. Every tart in London was getting in.” And so in 1958, Queen Elizabeth ended the antiquated practice of Court presentations altogether. Luckily, there are still some surviving remnants of the original Season for those in the know to enjoy…
