The Regal Rules for Girls (31 page)

Everyone seems so surprised to hear that until the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge embarked on their North American tour in June 2011, Kate Middleton had never traveled to the United States.
¹⁵
It’s actually not that surprising. Young Brits in that elite social sphere don’t really consider America to be a vacation destination. When the Castle Crew go on holiday, there are really only three options: safari holidays, sailing holidays, and skiing holidays. I’m not going to ask you to head to Africa just yet (after all, you only just landed in Great Britain), so in this section I will focus on the latter: sailing and skiing.

Sailing

Most of the Castle Crew will have a father, grandfather, or boss who owns a boat—so if you want to seduce a Sloaney sailor, Cornwall or the Caribbean are your best bets. And while you may be picturing dazzling sunsets and countless cocktails on deck, the reality of most sailing holidays is an expectation to roll up your sleeves and actually help sail the boat—so you may want to brace yourself for abrupt orders and strange nautical jargon. (See “Sailing Lingo,”
page 164
.) Please keep in mind that the boat must have real sails;
if you’re on a giant powerboat (or floating “gin palace”) you’re probably hanging out with the wrong crowd.

For steel drums and balmy sunshine, head to Mustique—a privately owned Caribbean island nestled in the Grenadine Islands of St.Vincent. Mustique is owned by Lord Glenconner, who purchased it more than fifty years ago. (He figured spending winters there with his family would be cheaper than heating his giant castle in the UK!) Lord Glenconner’s island appeals to those who seek privacy and luxury, and in an age when we seem to know absolutely everything about royals and celebrities, Mustique is a place where they can be themselves. The island’s carefree atmosphere has already nurtured two royal romances: Princess Margaret (the Queen’s sister) and Lord Snowdon were regulars; and Prince William and Kate spent a romantic holiday here before their engagement.

As well as relaxing in a luxury villa, you can play Frisbee or volleyball on the beach, play tennis, or cruise around in a catamaran. If you and the Castle Crew are thirsty, head to Basil’s Bar. (Prince William’s favorite island drink is vodka and cranberry juice; Kate prefers piña coladas.)

Also try:
Antigua (especially Antigua Race Week), The British Virgin Islands, The Greek Isles, and Croatia. (Harry was recently spotted dancing the night away in the latter.)

Cornwall is not as warm, but it’s certainly easier (and much more affordable) to get to! In Cornwall, the Castle Crew are most likely to be found at the Mariners Rock pub, in the Cornish village of Rock. This seaside pub was thrust into the spotlight by Prince William and Prince Harry when they began visiting every year in the late nineties. It wasn’t long before the princes were followed by hordes of British public boys from the likes of Eton, Marlborough, and Radley. (All good news for girls on the hunt!)

Rent a cottage for the weekend or stay in a quaint bed-and-breakfast.
The drive is long (five hours from London by car or train), but it’s worth the trip. The beachside hotspot is filled with cut-glass accents, blond highlights, Ray-Bans, and high-fashion flip-flops. But in addition to well-spoken Englishmen, there is plenty of sailing, surfing, and water-skiing to be had right down the road. Cornwall is known for delectable scones with clotted cream, and you won’t find fresher fish and chips anywhere else. Again, the regal drink of choice is lashings of vodka and cranberry juice.

Also try
: the Oyster Catcher in Polzeath and Falmouth Week in Cornwall.

Be warned: Brits flock to the Cornish coast at all times of year, regardless of the weather—it is not uncommon to see entire families wearing scarves and winter coats attempting to build sand castles on a wet and rainy beach.

(See also “Cowes Week,”
page 185
.)

BOATING CHIC
:

S
AILING
L
INGO

Whenever I go sailing with my English husband, I usually have no idea what he’s talking about.

“Ease the port side jib sheet,” he’ll tell me. I’ll look around me utterly confused. All I have with me are my sunglasses. There are no sheets or blankets onboard.

Then he’ll sigh with exasperation and say, “Please can you loosen the red-and-white rope on your left side that’s wrapped around that metal thing?”

Why didn’t he say so in the first place? That’s the thing about boys who sail. They speak in code.

Apparently it’s possible to jibe a jib but not jib a jibe, and a boat is never an
it
but a
she
–and that’s only the beginning of this crazy language. So whether you’re a sailing novice like me (and in my defense, I grew up in a landlocked state) or a nautical expert, it’s good to know some of the sailing lingo. Here is a cheat sheet for you to study next time you’re off to Cornwall, the Caribbean, or Cowes.

SAILING CHEAT SHEET: