The Regal Rules for Girls (30 page)

And so should you.

At the turn of the century, a girl was never to be seen dancing twice with the same partner, and ladies
always
wore gloves on the dance floor because “flesh must never touch flesh.” These days, British balls are slightly more relaxed. They may sound like remnants from Tudor times or the age of Cinderella, but black- or white-tie balls are actually extremely popular with London’s young, professional set.

Over the years I’ve come to notice that the more formal the social event, the faster it spirals out of control. London balls actually
remind me of American college formals—when, despite the glamorous dress codes, boys and girls still ended up sprawled drunkenly on the dance floor (or under the table). The fact that everyone at London balls are several years out of college doesn’t seem to change the caliber of behavior. If anything, it’s worse. (And I mean that in the best possible way.)

What to expect:
Despite the philanthropic motivations, black-tie balls can be some of the most flirty and debaucherous affairs you will find anywhere in the UK. They usually take place in well-known London hotels and include a champagne reception followed by a seated three-course dinner and a few hours of dancing. Occasions to really dress up become less and less frequent with every generation, so when the opportunity presents itself—take it!

Where to go:
Gather some friends and join a table at any of the following:

The Royal Caledonian Ball
(affectionately known as “the Cally”),
www.royalcaledonianball.com

The Royal Caledonian Ball began as a private gathering hosted by the Duke and Duchess of Atholl for all their Scottish friends who lived in London. By 1849, still at their invitation, the dance was held to raise funds for various Scottish charities. Records show that the ball has been held annually ever since (the only exceptions being during the Boer War, directly after the death of Edward VII, and during the First and Second World Wars). The Royal Caledonian has grown into one of the highlights of the London Season and is one of the oldest charity balls in the world.

When and where:
Now held every May at the Grosvenor House on Park Lane (one of the largest ballrooms in London).

Who goes:
Since the days of King Edward VII, the ball has been honored with the patronage of the reigning monarch and can currently celebrate more than fifty years of patronage by HM Queen Elizabeth II.

What to wear:
The dress code is white tie. Think floor-length skirts, bare arms, and diamonds. Tiaras are optional (and only if they’re real). When taking part in the Scottish Reels, ladies who are of Scottish descent should wear appropriate clan sashes. There are strict rules about this and people take it very seriously, so make sure you know what you’re doing.

Queen Charlotte’s Ball
,
www.londonseason.net

An important fixture of the original Season (see
Chapter 6
), this ball was initially held at London’s Grosvenor House. Recently revived,
it is now held alternately at Kensington Palace, the Dorchester Hotel, the Wallace Collection, the Treasury House, or the Savoy Hotel. The ball continues its long tradition of raising money to improve the health of mothers and babies; the West London hospital that used to benefit is now known as Queen Charlotte’s Hospital.

What to wear:
The event requires wearing a long white dress and curtseying beside a giant white cake. (Origins of which belong to the wife of King George III, who asked her favorite ladies-in-waiting to present her with a massive birthday cake.)

But don’t let the virginal dress code and crazy cake custom deter you—Queen Charlotte’s Ball is still a splendid place to see and be seen.

Hunt Balls Throughout the Country
(see also Parable #1,
p. 33
)

Foxhunting in the UK is nothing like any kind of hunting you will find in the US No one wears camouflage and Day-Glo orange, no one camps or eats cans of baked beans, and (this is the most important part) no one is officially allowed to kill anything—as hunting with dogs has been outlawed in England and Wales since 2004. So more than anything, joining a hunt is just an opportunity to wear great clothes, chat to floppy-haired Englishmen (aka hotties on horseback), watch the hounds, and see the countryside. You don’t have to ride like Zara Phillips to go hunting or to be an ardent hunt follower—as long as you can hang on and aren’t completely terrified of horses, you’ll be fine. And if you don’t own a horse, you can easily rent one for the day.

When:
Late October to the end of March.

What to wear:
Fabulous wool jacket (in black, blue, or tweed), cream jodhpurs, leather boots, a collarless shirt, leather gloves, riding hat.

Where to find your nearest hunt:
Baily’s Hunting Directory,
www.bailyshuntingdirectory.com
.

Faux pas:
Mentioning the hunting ban (many are still very bitter about this); calling them “dogs” (they’re “hounds”).

For more information on correct hunting conduct, subscribe to
Horse and Hound Magazine
,
www.horseandhound.co.uk
.

You don’t necessarily have to hunt at all in order to attend a hunt ball. Sometimes you merely have to own a ball gown and buy a ticket. Hunt balls generally take place in marquees attached to some elegant country house, and they are usually a delightful social mix of old English gentry, Bright Young Things, and inebriated students from the Royal Agricultural College. Dress code can be black- or white-tie, so make sure to double-check. Here is a short list of the most riveting (and most raucous) hunt balls in the country:

1. Beaufort,
   www.beauforthunt.com
   
2. Berkshire,
   www.berkshire-hunt.co.uk
   
3. Berwickshire,
   www.berwickshire-hunt.co.uk
   
4. Heythrop,
   www.heythrophunt.com
   
5. Ledbury,
   www.ledburyhunt.co.uk
   
6. Quorn,
   www.quorn-hunt.co.uk
   
7. Warwickshire,
   www.warwickshirehunt.co.uk
   

The Young Lord’s Taverners Ball
www.lordstaverners.org

This black-tie London gala is especially boisterous and popular among well-heeled twenty-somethings (not to mention the bittersweet setting of Parable #4,
p. 151
).

Any Fundraising Ball Where Prince William or Prince Harry Is a Patron of the Charity

Prince William’s favorite charities are listed below. (See “Harry Hunting,”
page 124
, for a list of Harry’s charities.)

P
RINCE
W
ILLIAM’S
C
HARITIES:

For more information on Prince William’s philanthropic engagements, write to: The Foundation of Prince William and Prince Harry, St. James’s Palace, London, SW1A 1BS, United Kingdom.

How to Tie a Bow-Tie

A good-looking Englishman suddenly turns into a drop-dead gorgeous Englishman the second he dons a tuxedo (aka “dinner jacket”). If he has tied his own bow tie rather than used a tacky clip-on, even better. All girls should know how to properly tie a man’s bow tie before a formal event. It’s a relatively small skill, but if done correctly and with nonchalance it leaves a lasting impression (not to mention that Englishmen find women deftly tying things around their necks to be extremely sexy).