The Redemption of Callie and Kayden (22 page)

and unfamiliar.

I submit though and Seth opens the door for me. My knees

wobble as I amble out into the kitchen where Luke and Kayden are

laughing about something at the table. There’s a tall bottle filled

with a brownish liquid sitting on the table. When I step closer I

realize it’s a bottle of Jack Daniels. There’s also a lit cigarette in Luke’s hand and smoke is filling the air.

I halt in the doorway, watching how Kayden’s eyes light up

every time he says something. I wonder if he’s drunk because he’s

gone from sad to happy in a matter of a couple hours. There’s a

huge smile on his face and his eyes are a little glazed over.

“Drinking already?” Seth rubs his hands together, looking

eager as he swings around me, bumping into my shoulder. I grab

hold of the countertop to catch myself and then step to the side so

I’m slightly hidden behind the counters.

Kayden’s eyes brighten when he sees me and I know right

then and there that he’s buzzed. “Yep, we thought we’d get started

early,” Kayden says to Seth as he picks up the bottle and hands it

to him. His eyes lock on me and I’m thrown back to all the fun

moments we had together, the ones that leave me hope even

though things look grim right now.

He smiles as he pushes up from the table, the legs on the

chair scraping against the tile. He takes long uneven strides as he

curves around the table and Seth steals his seat.

Kayden’s hair is styled and flips up around his ears. He has

on a dark gray shirt and a pair of loose-fitting jeans that hang at

his hips. He’s also put a few leather bands on his wrists to try and

cover up the bandage on it and his face is clean-shaven, which

makes me worry because that means he had to use a razor.

“Hey,” he says as he crosses the kitchen in long strides and

winds around to the cupboard area.

“Hey,” I reply, rotating around, so I’m facing him and my

back is pressed into the edge of the counter. I give a fleeting

glance at his arms, checking for fresh wounds. Everything looks

great, except I can’t see underneath the bandage.

He abruptly stops and his forehead creases as his eyes lazily

scroll up my body, lingering for a moment on my chest before

resting on my eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear a dress.”

I shake my head with my elbows bent and my fingers

gripping the counter. “That’s because I haven’t. Not for a long time

anyway.”

His gaze is relentless and makes me grow fidgety. Finally, his

eyes lock on mine and even through the subdued sea of alcohol, I

see the real Kayden still lives on the inside. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I say quietly and tuck a few strands of my hair

behind my ear. “I think—”

His lips come crashing down on mine and I suck in a deep

breath through my nose as my legs start to give out. His warm

tongue enters my mouth and he tastes like Jack and smells like

cigarette smoke. His hand grabs my waist and he holds my weight

up as our bodies crush together. He angles us back, our legs

entwining, and my heart knocks in my chest. The edge of the

counter jabs at my back, but I don’t care. All I care about is him.

My hands slip up his strong arms and knot through his hair.

In the back of my mind, a rational voice is screaming at me to stop,

because he’s drunk and confused and I need to stop it.

“What are you doing?” I slant my head back a little. “I

thought you needed us to be friends.”

“I do,” he assures me, sounding choked up and then his lips

touch mine. I’m trying to pull away, yet at the same time I’m

pulling him to me. I’m conflicted. Muddled. I’m a terrible person.

His long fingers spread around my hips and his fingers dig

into my skin as he picks me up and sets me down on the

countertop. My head bangs against the cupboard as his hands

move around to the front of my thighs and he splays my legs

open. Moving between them, his fingers sliding farther up my legs

until his thumbs are grazing the sensitive inner section. For a

moment, I forget where I am and who I am and open up my legs

wider, allowing him to get closer.

“Um, I hate to break this up.” Seth’s voice slaps me back to

reality and I instantly jerk away, panting and slamming my head

against the cupboard again. “As much as I love you guys, I’d rather

not see how far this is going to go. You guys should probably save

the groping for later, when you’re alone.”

Kayden rests his head against my shoulder, breathing

abundantly, and his body is tense under my hands. “Sorry,” he

whispers to my collarbone and then he’s pulling away, leaving me

more exposed than I already was.

I blink my eyes and adjust my dress as far down over my legs

as it will go, and then I hop off the counter. I run my hands

through my hair, trying to fix it in place, and I struggle not to cry from the stabbing sensation in my heart.

Seth arches his eyebrows at me. “See, dresses aren’t so bad.”

I press my lips together, because it’s not funny, and yet it is.

“I guess not.” My mouth sinks to a frown. It aches in every part of

my body. All I want is to be with him in a stress-free situation

where we can enjoy one another, be real, be us.

His shoulders move up as he lets out a low laugh and then

extends his hand out to me. “Come on, baby girl.” He touches my

bottom lip that’s pouting out. “Don’t let the man get you down.

Let’s go have some fun.”

I nod and follow him into the kitchen area and we stop

beside the small wicker table. Seth’s carrying the bottle of Jack in

his hand and he swings his arm around toward me, offering it to

me. “Here, this will relax you.”

I glance around at Luke and Kayden waiting by the screen

door, and then back at Seth. “That’s okay. Someone needs to

drive.”

Luke shakes his head, smiling as he rubs his hand across his

cropped brown hair. He has a loose-fitted red shirt on and a pair of

worn jeans. “I’m having a weird sense of déjà vu, because I’m

pretty sure you said the same thing that night we went to the

club.”

“I did,” I admit, flipping my hair off my shoulders. I don’t

know if it’s the night’s heat or the kiss, but I’m suddenly very hot.

“But what are we going to do? Take a cab everywhere?”

Luke nods as he picks up his phone and rises from the chair.

“Already taken care of. One should be here in, like, five.”

Seth wiggles the bottle in front of my face and the liquid

inside splashes against the glass. “Come one, relax.” He leans in,

lowering his voice. “You need to relax, Callie. You’ve been so

stressed out lately.”

He’s right. I have been stressed and I want to relax—to

forget for just a second about the unbearable weight on my

shoulders. I grab the bottle from him and without any preparation

put the glass to my lips and tip back my head, gulping way too big

of a swallow. My gag reflexes instantly kick in and I drop the bottle as I clutch at my chest.

Kayden’s arm dashes forward and he catches the bottle

before it hits the floor. “Holy shit,” he says and then steps up

beside me to pat my back. “Take it easy.”

I cough and fight the urge to vomit. I’m not a big drinker and

I usually take it in small doses. “I went a little overboard,” I say

between coughs, with my hand pressed against my chest.

He smoothes my hair back with his hand and his palm lingers

on my cheek. He keeps touching me, yet he acts like he shouldn’t.

I’m confused and choking and I just want to be free again. “Callie,

you don’t need to drink if you don’t want to.” He says it so quietly

only I can hear him.

I stand back up and straighten my shoulders. “I know. And

that goes for you too.”

He eyes me over and then his throat muscles work as he

swallows hard. “Here.” He hands the bottle to Seth and hurries

toward the door, pushing it open. He steps outside and the door

slams shut, leaving the three of us lost and confused. I don’t know

what to do or if I should follow him. I have no idea what he needs.

Suddenly, I realize I don’t know much about him at all.

Kayden

She thinks I’m mad at her, but I’m not. I’m mad at myself. For

coming here. For kissing her. For touching her the way that I have.

She deserves better. I’m not even strong or good enough to stay

away from her.

I strategically make Luke and me sit in the front of the cab so

Seth and Callie have to sit in the back. That way I can cool down

and stop thinking about her in that damn dress. All I want to do is

take her back to the house, rip it off, and make love to her again.

But I need to stop thinking about that. And I need to stop drinking

because it brings out the feelings I’m trying to keep locked away

inside my steel heart.

Luke and Seth keep passing the bottle of Jack back and forth

and taking shots with their heads tucked low so the cab driver, a

younger man with long hair and a goatee, won’t see. Seth offers it

to Callie a few times, but she shakes her head and declines each

offer. She hasn’t looked at me since we left the house and she

keeps fiddling with the straps on her dress as she stares out the

window. The sky is dark and the Christmas lights light up the street

and glow into the cab and in her eyes. Her eyes look sadder than

they did when I first met her, if that’s even possible.

There’s some sappy song playing on the stereo. Some guy’s

singing about love and I find myself wanting to stab my eardrums

or at least make a few cuts to my skin. I don’t want to think about

love or what it means to me. I don’t want to think about anything.

I’m about to ask Luke to pass me the bottle when the cab

pulls up in front of a tall brick building wedged between similar

buildings. There’s a crowd lined up in front of it and the music

playing from inside can be heard all the way to the curb.

Luke takes some money out of his wallet, hands it to the cab

driver, and then glides the door open. “You guys are paying for the

drinks.” He hops out and I shake my head as Seth slides over and

climbs out.

I wait for Callie, but she doesn’t move. When I finally dare to

glance over my shoulder at her, I find that she’s watching me. I rest my arm on the back of the seat and twist my stomach so I can turn

to face her.

“Is everything okay?” I ask her.

She brings her bottom lip into her mouth and shakes her

head. “No.”

I fight the urge to touch her. “What’s wrong?”

She releases her lip and slides to the edge of the seat. “I

don’t know who you are.”

My jaw nearly drops to the ground. “What?”

She lets out a shaky breath as she swings her feet out of the

cab. “I don’t know who you are. Not really, and it hurts.” She

doesn’t say anything more as she climbs out, pulling at the bottom

of her dress, and joins Seth and Luke on the curb.

I don’t know how to feel about what she said. I’ve told her

more than anyone else. But really, when I think about it, I’ve told

everyone else nothing and her the bare minimum. My boots scuff

against the gravel on the road as I slam the door. The cab drives

off, tires skidding, and I’m left standing on the curb.

Callie has taken ahold of Seth’s arm, but I can’t tell who’s

holding onto whom. Luke is already reaching for his cigarettes and

pops one into his mouth. We walk up to the end of the line and

Luke flicks the lighter and the paper burns. People are talking,

laughing, having fun, but the inside of my head is twisting.

She doesn’t know me.

She really doesn’t.

And that’s because I won’t let her.

Suddenly I feel like an asshole. I owe her an explanation for

why she found me bleeding out on the floor.

I’m stuck in my own head as the line moves forward and we

walk inside the building. Luke found an eighteen-and-over club so

we don’t need fake IDs to get in. As soon as we step over the

door’s threshold, the atmosphere becomes suffocating. There are

too many damn people crammed tightly into the small room. The

air is stifling, but luckily there’s no smoking allowed. The music is deafening and the floor is vibrating from it. I’ve never minded

these kinds of places before, but suddenly I’m feeling a little

claustrophobic. I think Callie is too, because she’s clinging onto the back of Seth’s jacket like her life depends on it as he walks in front of her, shoving through the crowd. Luke’s disappears into the mob

completely.

Someone stumbles back from the bar and spills beer all over

the floor next to Callie’s feet. As she jumps out of the way, her

fingers lose hold of Seth and she reaches for him. But the people

are closing in and I can tell she’s trying not to panic.

I take a few long strides and grab hold of her waist. Her body

goes rigid, but I quickly kiss her head and whisper, “Relax, it’s me.”

She nods at the sound of my voice and her shoulders

unravel. I inch closer to her until my chest is pressed against the

back of her head, and then I circle my arms around her waist and

pull her securely against me as I maneuver us through the crowd. I