The Redemption of Callie and Kayden (21 page)

He has to be thinking the same thing too because he picks

me up and presses me close to him. My legs are like magnets and

attach to his back. He lets out a deep, throaty groan and I’m

shocked by the images that flash through my mind, back in the

garage, nervous, but eager to be with him in every way possible. I

want to breathe, be alive again.

I open my mouth wider and his tongue seeks every square

inch of my mouth. I’m shaking from head to toe and it only gets

worse when he nips at my lip, dragging his teeth along the inside

of it.

“Kayden,” I moan and fasten my arms around his neck. I pull

him against me and he crushes us against the side of the building.

His hands start to stray down my body and my hips curve into him.

Smothering heat sizzles off our bodies as our tongues melt and

twine together. A shot of ecstasy shoots up between my legs as I

feel his hardness pressed against me and the sensation amplifies

when his hand cups my breast. I forget where we are and how hard

it is to exist sometimes. I just want him. So badly. I want him to

hold me forever.

But then his lips are leaving me and he sets me back down

just as quickly as he picked me up. We slam to a standstill again

and I try not to fall apart. My lips feel swollen, my lungs are

heaving ravenously, and everywhere his hands touched, brushed,

and grazed tingles, and all I can think about is doing more with

him.

His emerald eyes are glossy and he pants erratically, looking

away from me to the beach and out to the side of the building. “I

shouldn’t have done that.”

I shake my head and place a hand on his cheek. “Kayden,

look at me.”

He blinks his eyes against the sunlight and then forces his

eyes to meet mine. “Callie, I can’t be doing this. We need to be…

we need to be just friends.”

“Just friends?” I frown because I don’t want to be friends. But

at this moment it’s not about what I want. It’s what he needs.

“That’s what you really need?”

He nods his head, with his jaw clamped tightly. “For now…”

He swallows hard as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, the

muscles in his lean arms wound tight. “And this isn’t about you. I

promise.” He’s not looking at me, but just over my shoulder. “It’s

me.”

I bite at my lip, considering my next words carefully.

“Whatever you need, Kayden. I’m here. You can talk to me.”

He conclusively meets my gaze and there’s a spark within his

pupils that I haven’t seen since we reunited. “I know that.”

A smile touches my lips, and daringly, I reach forward and

lace my fingers through his. “Let’s go get something to eat, before

Seth ends up throwing a tantrum. He’s been complaining the last

hour about how hungry he is.”

Kayden nods, his fingers twitching as I stroke my thumb

across the palm of his hand for reasons that are unclear to me.

“Okay.” He fakes a smile and I hate that he’s faking it in front of

me. It means he’s closed off, and I don’t want that. I want him to

trust me like I trust him. I owe him that much.

I owe him a lot more.

I owe him everything.

* * *

An hour later we’re seated out on the deck of a restaurant

that’s right by the ocean. The air smells like salt and there’s a light breeze that kisses my cheeks and blows strands of my hair into my

eyes. The sun is lowering and the heat is a little bit more bearable.

There are a few people sitting at the round wooden tables

scattered around the deck, but for the most part it’s quiet.

The four of us are sitting silently as we read our menus.

Kayden’s seated next to me and he has his knee resting against

mine. I’m not sure if he notices or not, but I don’t dare move,

afraid that he’ll move it—pull away again.

“So how about some sushi?” Seth jokes, shattering the

silence. “Or some crab.”

Luke rolls his brown eyes as he pops his knuckles. “I think I’m

going to go with a burger.”

Kayden is biting his lip and I watch him as he reads over his

menu, fantasizing about his mouth back on mine. He has his hand

tucked under the table and he keeps flicking the rubber bands on

his wrists over and over. By the sound of the snap, it has to hurt,

but I don’t dare try to stop him. If that’s what he needs, then it’s

what he needs.

“I think I’m going to have the same.” Kayden closes his menu

and places it into the middle of the table beside the ketchup and

mustard rack.

It goes silent again and Seth starts texting on his phone

while Luke stares out at the beach to the side of us. The waiter

finally comes and takes our orders and brings us our drinks. We sip

on our straws quietly, with the rush of the waves filling up the

empty miles of space between our thoughts.

“That’s it,” Seth abruptly says and pounds his hand down

onto the table. All three of us jump, startled, and Kayden almost

knocks his drink to the ground.

Luke’s head whips in his direction and he shoots Seth a

death glare. “Next time a fucking warning would be nice.”

Seth brings his straw to his lips and slurps on his drink. “I’m

sorry, but the dead silence is maddening.” He sets the drink back

down and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. “We need to

have some fun.”

Kayden immediately stiffens and the rubber band on his

wrist snaps and snaps. “Yeah, I think I’m just going to head back to

the house.”

Seth shakes his head as he rips the wrapper of the straw into

tiny pieces. “No way. We did not drive out here to hang out at the

house. We came here to have some fun.”

“Seth, I don’t think—” I start.

He talks over me, flicking the pieces of wrapper into the

center of the table. “No. This isn’t going to happen. We all have

our problems we’ve been dealing with and we all need a break

from life. So we’re going to get dressed up and go have some fun.”

“Where?” Luke questions and moves the straw to his lips,

taking a drink. “At, like, a club or something?”

“No clubs,” I beg with my hands overlapped in front of me.

“Please.”

Seth aims a weighted look at me. “Miss Callie, we’ve gone

over this. Clubs are fun. And you have big, strong Kayden here to

protect you.”

My shoulders tighten and hunch as I think about just how far

he went to protect me and his hand grabs mine from beneath the

table. It’s like he can read my mind and he leans over and puts his

lips to my ear.

“It’ll be okay,” he says softly, meeting my eyes and giving me

a crooked smile. “If you want to go, we can go.”

I lean in until there’s a sliver of space between our lips. “I

want to do whatever you want.”

His pupils are huge and his breath caresses my cheeks. “If

you want to go out then so do I.”

We’ll never be able to reach a conclusion this way and I

guess Seth sees that too.

“Then it’s settled,” Seth says and it makes me kind of irritated

because I can tell Kayden doesn’t want to go out. “We’re all going

out and have a fucking fun night.”

Luke sets his drink down on the table and I catch him

glancing at Kayden. Maybe I’m not the only one concerned.

“Is everyone okay with this?” Luke asks, but he’s looking at

Kayden.

Kayden leans away from me and shrugs as he reaches for his

soda on the table in front of him. “I’m good, man.”

“I don’t think—” I start to protest.

Setting his drink down on the table, Kayden squeezes my

hand with his free hand, then slants over and places a soft, moist

kiss on my cheek. “Callie, I’ll be okay.” He breathes against my neck as his finger grazes my wrist. “I promise… you need to… you need

to stop worrying about me.”

“That’ll never happen,” I whisper, letting out a slow breath

and I nod, my cheeks burning from his kiss. I don’t want to go out,

and not for the reasons Seth thinks. I’m worried about Kayden. We

haven’t talked about what happened and it needs to be talked

about. Because I don’t understand any of it. All I want is to go

somewhere and talk so I can ask him all the questions I have

bottled up in my head for the last months.

Seth raises his glass in the air to make a toast. “I say, from

now on, or at least for the next couple of days, we let the niceness

be.”

Luke heaves a heavy sigh and tolerantly stretches his arm,

bringing his glass up to Seth’s. “As long as we’re not sitting around in the house, I’m all for the niceness.”

Kayden still keeps hold of my hand, and using his free one,

lifts his glass up. “I’m in.”

They all look at me and I feel tinier than I already did.

Wrapping my fingers around my damp glass, I sigh and tap it

against theirs. “Fine, but no trouble.”

Seth giggles. “Darling, trouble is my middle name, so just roll

with it.”

Luke snorts and even Kayden cracks a smile. But I keep

frowning because it feels like we’re running away from our

problems. If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that running away from them only allows them to chase you.

“To the niceness,” Seth says and clinks his glass against ours,

spilling a little soda onto the table.

“To the niceness,” the three of us mutter and our glasses

collide, making a promise I’m not sure we’ll all be able to keep.

Even though I’d like to believe that the next few days will be filled with laughs and giggles and sunshine, I’m worried a storm may roll

in.

#45 Don’t let the man bring you down

Callie

“Seth, I don’t think I can do this.” I’m super squirmy as I take

in my reflection in the mirror. My skin is pallid and even though

the dress goes to my knees, I feel naked. The straps barely cover

my shoulders and I’m showing more skin than I’ve shown in the

last six years. The freckles on my skin are exposed, along with my

boney collarbone and somewhat flat chest. Even the sandals on my

feet make me feel bare. And my hair is down, which I’ve never

been a fan of.

“I look weird,” I say, tugging the bottom of the dress down.

“And… naked.”

Seth shakes his head as he steps back to examine me. His

hair is swept to the side, with a slight fluff in the front. He has on a pair of tan shorts and a gray button-down shirt with the sleeves

rolled up. “You look beautiful.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“Of course you can,” he says simply, turning back to the

mirror.

I shake my head. “Seth, why are you so dead set on this?”

He’s fiddling with his hair and pauses. With a determined

look on his face, he turns away from the mirror and looks at me.

“Callie, I’m dead set on it for the reason you aren’t. You have to let it go. I know it’s hard, but you need to move forward—we all need

to move forward and let go of the past.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” I ask. “Because it feels like you’re

running away from something.”

“I’m not running away from anything.” He fastens the bottom

button on his shirt. “I let go of the running away the day I started

dating Greyson. It was like I’d been freed from the fear of what

happened and I finally could be myself again.”

“But how do you forget what happened?” I wonder,

smoothing the wrinkles out of the dress with my hand. “How do

you not think about it?”

He gives me a small smile and sets his hands on my

shoulders, looking directly into my eyes with a fire of

determination. “You don’t forget. You just move past it. Let go. Be

who you were supposed to be instead of who they make you feel

like you should be.”

“But how do I divide the two of them,” I say, letting my hands

fall to my side. “Because sometimes I feel like they mix. Like right

now. It feels wrong how I’m dressed, but I don’t know if it’s

because I’m associating the dress with what happened or because I

just don’t like dresses.”

The corner of his mouth tips up and then he kisses my

forehead. “Wear it and find out.”

He backs away from me and walks over to his bag that’s on

the twin bed. He pulls out a bottle of cologne, takes the cap off,

and douses his shirt in it. I head over to my bag and quickly skim

the letter I wrote to Kayden. I’m still unsure of what it revealed and I’m debating if I should run away from it or embrace it. Maybe it’s

time to face the inevitable.

“Oh, I forgot to ask.” He clicks the cap back on the cologne.

“What did you wear underneath that dress?”

I bite down on my lip, battling my embarrassment because I

did wear the black lacy panties he made me buy. “Nothing.”

“Oh, you decided to go commando?” he says with a devious

grin. “That’s even better.”

I let my lip pop free and a smile sneaks through. “You know

that’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” He winks at me. “But it was funny.” He chucks the

cologne back into his bag. “Are you ready to do this?”

I glance at the mirror, noting the vastness in my eyes—they

take up my entire face. Sure, I trusted Kayden to see all of me, but

I’m uncertain about the world, because it’s big and scary and

always shifting. One minute it feels like home and the next, distant