The Power of Forgetting (34 page)

I was saved by
Davey saying to Hanson: ‘Oliver wants you. Make it quick sharp!’
Davey was about to turn and go after Hanson had ambled out; ‘Don’t
go…’ I said.

Davey
immediately came and sat down next to me. He seemed loaded with a
question. I saved him the trouble: ‘I saw the Man who is from that
place beyond Davey…. he was the one who showed me the way
back…’

‘You mean like
across a river or something?’

‘I was
watching…. I was still connected to my body. I could hear what
Janey said. I watched what you did; then I asked him to send me
back in; and then there I was…. I mean…. here I am.’

‘You weren’t
sure you were coming back.’ Davey’s way of phrasing it, made more
of a statement than a question.

‘It’s
true.’

‘Why did you
change your mind? And don’t say it was because of Janey…. I know
that her turn for the dramatic on occasion is not the

‘It was her
words. Not her volume…. she is right. About so many things. She is
often right. She need not go over the top; I’m…. sorry I worried
you all there.’

‘Are you?’

‘Yes…. what
else could I do?’

‘Nothing,’ he
smiled in a lopsided way, ‘it’s fairly fantastical what everyone is
saying. I just wanted to hear it from your side.’

‘Hear
what?’

‘That weird
vision. Everyone saw something. But it is a bit confused. I think
they are all in shock still…. sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you
this; Joe will have me on report if I set his patient back to an
earlier stage of recovery.’

‘I’m definitely
recovering then?’

‘Yes.’ He gave
me a very odd look.

‘Well I was out
for quite a while…. I suppose.’

‘Not
really.’

‘Well for how
long? What day is it?’

‘It’s
today.’

‘Not helpful
David.’

‘Why do you say
that? I don’t know. No one else says my name like that.’

‘It’s just
right…. Feels right.’

Davey looked
away then; ‘You are very scary Jared. And if I was anyone else I
would be afraid…. a little at least.’

‘Oh.’

‘It is today.
The same day. You are an unidentifiable miracle. They don’t want to
say it. But there is no way you could have survived. We arrived too
late. The antidote only works if there is less than sixty per cent
damage. After that it doesn’t matter what you do. And I tell you
the truth; your liver and kidney were shot and the heart was
damaged. It’s impossible. We saw something. And they are trying to
work out if you are now really Jared. Or a new copy. Is the
antidote really antidote or a new kind of serum that can infuse the
remaining physical form and make another version that is so
undetectable that nothing can tell that it is one, until it’s too
late.’

The world was
blurring then; I was feeling uncomfortable, and I wanted to see
Marcia.

‘Get my
girlfriend to come and see me Davey.’

‘Jared?’

‘Just go
now.’

‘I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have said. I’m really sorry.’

‘Just fetch her
please.’ I leaned back, and wondered where Joe had got to.

I’m tying my
boots. It’s difficult and slow and I wonder why no one has been in
to check on me. Time enough…. I’m getting hungry too. The drip is
still attached. I sit down again. Feeling a little drained.

Joe returns at
that moment, takes one look at the scene, leaves, and comes back a
moment later with Marcia.

She seems a
little less strained. There is a faint splash of colour high on the
cheek. I can’t see if she is questioning me or not. Right now I
need to be believed. The addition of Hanson into this particular
equation is not helping my confidence.

‘Sit back on
the bed now Jared.’ Joe does that face that I won’t disobey. He
wraps the strap round my left arm, and pumps the air in. when he
takes it off it gives me a really odd look…. kind of like Davey did
a few minutes ago. He carries on with each medical check,
carefully, precisely; he writes it all down.

‘Pulse…. Fine;’
Joe looks at Marcia who is standing a little way away, not meeting
my eyes. He takes my temperature with the digital thermometer; does
a few other checks.

‘How is he?’
Marcia’s voice is plaintive and small, quite unlike her usual
firmness and confidence.

‘Fine.’ said
Joe, ‘Everything is fine. In fact, it is better than fine…. it’s
textbook. If he were about to do a spot of mountain climbing, well
these are better measurements than I would need for that….’ He
turned to me then, and said in quite an unusually gentle tone, ‘You
must take it easy Jared…. what is happening, I can’t explain. I
don’t want a relapse, so be a good boy and obey the Boss.’

My eyes flicked
to Marcia, and then back to him; ‘What day is it Joe?’

‘It’s still the
same day…. this shouldn’t be…. I’ll talk to the others. Everyone is
in need or reassurance; for a variety of reasons.’ He nodded at
Marcia, ‘Just help me hold this. There, that’s it.’ The drip was
out of my arm, and Marcia pressed down on the place with the cotton
wool. There seemed to be something going on that was freaking
everyone out. But I didn’t think it was entirely to do with me.

‘What is
happening? Something is going on Joe. Tell me what it is.’ My voice
sounded stronger than it had done a little while ago.

‘In a few
minutes. You can come through.’ He puts a dressing on the place
from the drip; then adds, ‘we’ll have some dinner after that. You
can have your big mug of tea now!’ he grins suddenly, ‘Some things
are constants in the universe. I’ll get Davey to bring tea. You
both take a few minutes. Come through when you’re ready.’

‘So Jared,’
Marcia said quietly as Joe left us alone, ‘What did you do then? I
found you face down in the grass.’

‘Marcia….’ I
was just staring at her, trying to see what was different about her
today. She seemed so present, so real. So very, very beautiful. I
reached out and curved my hand round her cheek. She brushed her
face against my hand and blinked slowly.

‘Jared…. I am
so pathetic. I just want to know…. are you staying with me? Are you
going anywhere?’ her voice cracked in the middle, and her eyes
became bright and spilled over, she came towards me and melting
into my waiting embrace, ‘I have never been so afraid…. Jared, I’m
sorry. I cannot be cool, and in charge and the Boss Lady right
now…. until, until……’

‘Shh…. shh;
Dear Eve you have me. I am only going somewhere if you come too.’
We drew back from each other slightly then; we looked into each
other’s eyes. I could not remember a time when I had been so sure
of anything; ‘Eve, I will marry you. It would be today, if that
were possible. I want to please you. I want you to make you smile.
I want you to be happy. I want to make you laugh. I will do
everything I can to make sure that you feel loved. I love you
beautiful dancing girl. And I will not let you go. I would take on
anyone or anything for you…. Eve…. I haven’t got anything to give
you right now as a token of all of this. But as soon as I can I
will.’ I only stopped because she was crying. I found the tissues
and handed her the whole travel pack.

She seemed
really upset. What had I done? ‘Marcia?’ I touched her
shoulder.

‘I’m alright……’
she blew her nose, and said in a really teary voice: ‘I’m so
happy!’

‘Oh….’ I
thought I better not make her any happier or we might not get to
dinner time quickly enough.

‘I’m so happy.’
She sobbed. So I just hugged her. Marcia being damp and slightly
blotchy made her seem even more lovely in a cute and helpless kind
of way. Drat! Me as well!

‘Your turn.’
Marcia hand me a tissue and laughed, ‘Aren’t we a right pair!’

‘I just want to
kiss you. Please.’

‘And I want to
kiss you too.’ She hugged me tighter.

It was melting,
melting. And I was lighter than air this time. Nothing weighed me
down. I wanted to stay there, and keep kissing her.

We stopped a
minute later. She was smiling, but her cheeks were still wet like a
garden after the rain; ‘It’s good. Jared, it’s alright isn’t
it?’

‘Yes. It’s all
alright now. You have me. Absolutely.’

Marcia turned
as the sound of other voices reached us. Davey stuck his head
through the flap. ‘Sorry to intrude; but we have a message from
Dieter. I think you both better come through now.’

‘Alright Davey.
Just let me help Jared with his boots.’ She looked back at me and
reached for the clean sweater, and my canvas jacket.

‘Liar.’ I
said.

‘For you I’ll
do it.’ She carefully slipped the sweater over my head, then helped
me into the jacket. The stiffness had yet to wear off
completely.

I suppose I was
spared a dose of questions, by these new developments. Dieter had
let us know that they had come into the anomaly and travelled as
far as the cliff face. They couldn’t go up; so they had travelled
the long way round; but then had run into the most ferocious frost.
They could not go any further and had retreated to a little
secluded forest area, and camped. Oliver was reading out the
reports from the recent transmission.

‘ “We will be
forced to return to the other side, if the weather becomes any
worse. The temperature overnight was minus 40 degrees; and has
climbed to minus ten at thirteen hundred hours. We cannot find a
way through. The alternative route to your position is through the
hills to the right of the mountains. But we have no way of knowing
if that is passible if we get higher up. Will update in two hours…”
that was at five. The time now is six forty-two. We are waiting for
the transmission at Seven. I think that supper is in the offing,
Davey?’

‘Yeah folks.
Take a pew.’

I was already
sitting down. So I waited while the others gathered round. Hanson
was helping Davey serve out mash and mince with onions. The effect
was rather like letting a tiger serve a flock of flamingos pink
pellets with their cereals. I shook my head. A lot of odd thoughts
kept flitting in and out. Random seeming silliness about tea and
kite flying, and the scent of roses and the taste of toothpaste.
Janey sat down next to me. ‘Pepper?’ she had her serious face
on.

‘Yes please.’ I
pulled it towards me, inverted it and tipped a few grains out and
swept them up with a fingertip before putting them in my mouth. I
looked up. They had all gone very still.

‘Yes,’ said
Janey, ‘Now you can relax.’

‘A test?’ I
said.

‘A
reassurance.’ she replied.

‘I’ll keep it
then.’ I curled my hand round the pepper pot. Marcia sat down next
to me on my left and put a big mug of tea down in front of me.

‘We are all
wondering a few things,’ said Oliver across the table, ‘now isn’t
the time for it. We’ve got too much moving too quickly for us to
hear any strange and wonderful stories of your narrow escape…. Not
that I don’t want too.’ He was smiling at me as he said this;
‘we’ll fill you in as we go Jared. But we’ll ask it all on debrief,
okay?’

‘Yeah fine.’ I
take a swig of tea. Utterly blissful! I hope that I can keep a few
tea bags handy… maybe stash them somewhere secret later…. Davey
comes in with the last of the dinner at that moment. And this
strange crew sit in the quiet of a now spring-like afternoon.
Marcia at my left keeps glancing at me. Everyone is concentrated
and unusually quiet. I can feel my strength returning as the dinner
is consumed. Janey puts salt on her mash, a light sprinkling. I
shake pepper all over mine. Marcia takes the pepper and has a
little too. Davey takes the salt from Janey and makes a tiny pile
to one side that he dips into as he goes. I think about pickles
then, and the stuff that is orangey-yellow and goes well with
cheese. I clear my plate. Janey takes it and passes behind us. She
says something to Marcia, who nods in agreement.

We are halfway
through the sponge and custard; when we get the call on the radio.
Oliver and Davey go and take the call. The rest of us wait. The
radio room is too small for all of us to cram in. I am the only one
who keeps on licking my spoon. I just love treacle sponge. It’s the
most heavenly thing……. next to a lot of things.

‘…. there’s no
point in getting overly concerned. We know what is going on here.’
That was Davey.

‘Of course,’
said Oliver, ‘It is just that we need to be clear what exactly this
weather actually is caused by.’

‘Okay,’ Janey
said to my right. ‘Give it to me boys. Then I can match it with the
data I’ve recorded at the Nimbus lab.’

I stop with the
spoon in my mouth, swallow then put it quietly down. I was so
wrapped up in the moment that I forgot that we have a big bad guy;
a crazy maniac who builds time machines; and the double of my
ex-girlfriend lurking around somewhere. Hanson is staring at me.
Everyone else is looking at Oliver, as he tells us more about
Dieter’s report.

‘None of us
escaped being copied.’ said Hanson to me.

‘That’s not
true.’ I replied.

‘…. And we can
decide to return, or to go down into the Lion’s Den….’ Oliver
continues.

‘Why do you
think that?’ Hanson looks hard at me and seems genuinely
perplexed.

‘I just do.
There are reasons.’

‘Reasons?’
Hanson is actually worried,

‘Yes.’

‘You know
something I don’t?’ from the quiet tone, it’s an admission of
humility from him.

‘I have always
known something you don’t.’

‘At the
University. When you saw the double… what really happened?’

‘You were
there.’ I am guarded, guessing now how much he felt of that
experience.

‘The experience
is recorded. I wasn’t able to access that one. But I did know you
had been there. I am sorry that you were made to feel so bad….’

‘You are?’ I
still am not convinced.