The Power of Forgetting (24 page)

‘Yes. I believe
so.’

‘And she told
us. Don’t you see? They are just laughing at us.’

‘We don’t know
what kind it is.’ Marcia is trying to be clear, ‘all the data that
we have pieced together would indicate that “copies” have distinct
characteristics. They can be sharing consciousness, or not sharing
it. The original can be aware of the other or not. Other things
too…. They can only operate within the boundaries of that person’s
psyche. In other words: if something appears, it could only do so
if at some point the real person felt that, or desired it…. Tell me
what you know about that.’

‘What I know.’
I said dully, ‘I could take you on a journey through mine and
Janey’s relationship and tell you things that seemed wrong but
weren’t. Others that appeared right, but couldn’t ever be. And
still other times when we were so opposite; that you would not
think we had anything to do with each other…. She is the most
frustrating person to be around…. I never did know what was going
to happen next.’ I glanced at her. I saw she was working all the
known facts faster and faster. Everything was there. Everything was
being examined; for patterns, connections, links and shades of
subtle meaning. I am humiliated and embarrassed. Of course I wanted
her! Janey was everything to me before I met Marcia. She was my
indecent obsession. You may find it hard to understand. But in the
same way I longed for her company, at the same time I was always
trying to escape her. And now I had been neatly captured and pinned
down for all to mock. Hanson would have been proud of the level of
control she had gained and held. Now, only Marcia stood between Me
and total depravity.

She was saying
something but I hadn’t been listening, ‘What?’

‘You were
seduced by someone who looked like Janey, but wasn’t her.’

‘It was a small
piece of her mind in there!’

‘Yes; but it
wasn’t her…. We believe we know when she was switched. And I think
she did it willingly thinking she could overcome the conditioning
and take control of both herself and the copy.’

‘You mean…her
consciousness shifts around?’

‘Yes. But the
physical swap had to happen at some point.’

‘The
mountain?’

‘Possibly.’

‘She said she
slipped the cuffs.’

‘She didn’t. We
know that.’

‘Alexander let
her go.’

‘Our Janey….
She went to find Aiden then didn’t she?’

‘Yes.’

‘What was
there?’

‘Information.’

‘She had to be
the real Janey.’ said Marcia, ‘the copy would not survive the
boundary edge.’

‘But there were
times that she could have gone to find something; and just been
swapped round then.’

‘Who did we
bring home?’ Marcia asked.

‘Real.’

‘Boundary
end?’

‘Real.’

‘Davey’s
expedition.’

‘Which
one?’

‘Setting out
from Base, when she wore the red snow suit.’ said Marcia.

‘I’m guessing
it had to be the copy.’

‘Oh?’

‘I think she
must have been…’

‘This is too
embarrassing for you.’

‘Yes…. No. we
need to get to facts. I accept the fact that she has a double. That
means our Janey is somewhere out here. She must be either
pretending to be compliant; or she’s being kept prisoner; or
perhaps she was threatened in some way.’

‘There is
another alternative.’ Marcia had her serious face on again. ‘She
did it willingly; perhaps naively thinking she could change things
from within Nimbus on her own.’

‘Hanson said
she was one of the subjects.’ I said miserably. Ironically I was
beginning to feel a little better.

‘Yes. You told
me.’

‘Oh…. did
I?’

‘Yes.’ Marcia
tries to touch me, I shrink away.

‘Please, not
now…. I can’t.’

‘That’s
okay.’

‘Drugged? You
said I had been drugged.’

‘Yes. It erases
what happened. Just as good as a gallon of booze. You literally
don’t remember a thing. I don’t think Janey… our Janey would do
such a thing. We need to be sure though. We need to find out whose
motives are affected.’

‘She knew what
she was doing at least some of the time,’ I said, ‘She is strong,
and must have been trying to get information out of me. There is
the reason I’ve felt so rubbish.’

‘Yes. It’s not
related to tequila.’

‘I really could
do with some of that right now.’

‘Me too.’
Marcia is still looking at me.

‘So how do we
proceed?’

‘Well….’ Marcia
was about to pick her words carefully, ‘if we are right. And by
“We”; I mean Joe, Oliver and Myself; then the best thing to do is
nothing. We make sure you are not left alone with her; and for now
carry on.’

‘But what about
the box thing?’

‘What box
thing?’

‘That keeps the
copy alive.’

‘It doesn’t
keep it alive. It’s actually self-sustaining. I believe that this
is further along than they hoped to get. And it has to do with
something that Janey herself generates. It is something to do with
her personally.’

‘Like an
electrical field?’

‘Yes. A factor
of biology…. Something that you may be able to tell us…’

‘Oh!’ suddenly
I knew. Suddenly I knew why they wanted me. And perhaps Janey. This
was what we had been warned about; in quite a different situation.
Our family had secrets that we would never tell. We could not do so
without betraying so many…. surely they couldn’t make her do
that?!

This experiment
required subjects. The test subject must be compliant. We must have
volunteered. We must have said we would do this without any record
being kept of us having agreed to it. And what about the other
people of my alternate reality last autumn? I wanted to know what
had happened there, a long time before Sandglass. There was a gap
of a few months. Or was it? It was August the first; then September
the…. twenty-sixth. I would have to check.

There it is. My
puzzle. It like the locked room with the body in it. How was it
accomplished? I had just found out I could live without floating
off into space; even though I had nothing to lock me into the time
line. I was not tempted to use my skills on that front. It really
was too dangerous. So what then? It was about copies of what?
Someone’s life. Another chance to really muck it up again this
time. The man with the remote was picking his adventure. Trying to
select his “Reality Show”. Money? Could it really be that simple?
Develop something; make sure it’s safe, by trying it on a load of
unsuspecting scientists and other assorted riff raff. Us lot.

‘Jared!’ she
speaks as I stand up quickly.

‘I have to stop
this! Right now!’ but my knees feel weak. I slide back down into a
sitting position in the soft sand.

‘Don’t be
silly. This is no time for your type of being impetuous. There is
more at stake than your bruised ego. We are in real danger. We know
that this whole thinking could be an elaborate trick. But then
again it could be there just to prove a point.’

‘What point is
that?’ I asked her.

‘That it can be
done; that you can literally fool someone who has an intimate
knowledge of that person. But there are some things you can’t
fake.’

‘So there is a
way to be certain?’

‘Apart from
finding where they have hidden the transmitter. Yes, I believe
so.’

‘Hanson said it
was worn under the clothes. He showed me his.’

‘Hanson’s a
liar.’

‘With truth
serum?’

‘Then he was
lied to, presumably. He is just repeating his “truth”.’

‘Hanson’s in
real trouble isn’t he?’

‘Yes. I’m
afraid so.’

‘You know about
the boot prints in the glade near the anomaly?’

‘Yes you told
me that already.’

‘Is there
anything you don’t know?’

‘How you are
really feeling at the moment?’

‘Tired. And in
desperate need of something that I suspect only you would be
willing to oblige me with; but under other circumstances aren’t
currently an option.’

‘How
desperate?’

‘I was
exaggerating; a little.’

‘I know.’ She
smiled.

‘What about the
drugs.’

‘In the
coffee.’

‘But I didn’t
have any coffee. Not yesterday.’

‘What do you
recall?’

‘The stars.
They were really brilliant. And then….’ I was straining to find
anything at all, ‘I just don’t know… really.’

‘Okay. Well
then it had to be administered another way. A simple way. She would
have to hide it. Where do you think?’

‘Something
tasted funny. Like bitter; but only for a moment.’

‘What?’

‘She kissed
me.’

‘Yes…. of
course. That is how it is passed.’

‘Huh?’

‘In the
mouth.’

‘But would she
forget?’

‘No. it could
be an ampoule. As long as you don’t actually swallow any of it

and the other
person does; it is almost perfect.’

‘What
isn’t?’

‘Suggestibility….’

‘Was I
hypnotised?’

‘Yes you were.
There is a trigger word or phrase. That on hearing the subject is
rendered open and susceptible to anything the controller says.’

‘I feel….’

‘What is it?’
Marcia touches my arm; this time I don’t pull away.

‘I feel
violated.’

‘I’m sorry. I
should have seen it.’

‘You couldn’t
have dear Eve. You are doing what you can.’

‘We must find
our Janey. But tread carefully. Because we don’t know what she can
send back to this other or not.’

‘I’m afraid.’ I
said suddenly.

‘It’s scary
stuff.’

‘No…. there’s a
feeling. Just a feeling. I dunno…’ I look into her eyes; those
laughing eyes. They are warm, and caring.

‘I’m here for
you always.’ She says and takes my hand.

‘I can’t be
without you.’ I say, ‘you are my life. I only came back for
you.’

The sun has
gone down. I am alone. We all are. Everyone’s private space, that
mercifully shuts us all off from each other. I had some soup but
then drank tea sitting outside the tent. It’s very warm still. I’m
laid in the cot with the sleeping bag unzipped; and stripped down
to my tea shirt and loose cotton shorts. Even with all the vents
open; I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep. So I sit up and take
off my tee shirt. My hand brushes against my right shoulder. A
small scar is there. The knife went in. that silvery one. We have
two of them. I believe that the second is in the safekeeping of
George. A curiosity only; no one can use them. The one that pierced
me was different. It belongs to Davey. Heelio gave it to him.
Thinking of the old tribesman calms my mind. It takes away some of
the heat. He thought I would travel another journey. He warned me
that I would lose something. And that I would find the unexpected
piece to a puzzle I did not yet know I possessed. Cryptic or what?
It has been hard to reconcile that experience with my everyday
life. Not that I have a regular job. Heelio said that what I do is
part of my destiny. He said all sorts of things like that. Marcia
made a point of sitting near, listening to everything he had to
say. She was fascinated by the very fact of their life and being
driven through with colours from another place.

I don’t know
how anyone else if faring but I’m just too warm.

A few minutes
later I am crouching down to try to light one of the sobranes.
There is some soft breeze that creeps into the entrance. I don’t
stray far. My usual feeling of being watched is rolled over into
the practical knowledge of the trip strings that Oliver has
set.

I find a
folding chair and park it quietly in the shadows. I blow a stream
of smoke outwards. It helps. I find this little bad habit separates
me out of my wilderness. Quietly I ponder: why did we find out?
Making it so obvious that we are carrying this cuckoo in our nest?
Reasons? The double is not able to sustain Janey’s normal
character; or the double is acting independently of our Janey and
therefore is diverging too far for the join to not tear; but what
if she wanted us to know? She could be sending us a message! A
message in a bottle? The bottle is….? Okay. Start with the simple
level: we are being told that this is not Janey. So, of course you
need to ask yourself: who is sending us that message? And why?

I lean back.
How clever is Mr Alexander? I know he wants something from me. But
why the elaborate deception? It would be a lot simpler to kidnap
me…. Unless…. there is a reason he cannot do that. There is
something that we have that he wants; but he can’t have it. Why is
that? We have something…. okay, think. Janey agreed to something.
She would keep her word. So she would make an agreement that did
not compromise her principles. She would take something that meant
she could get back in touch if she had to. That is assuming that
this was done voluntarily….no…. must be a bribe. She will do what
they want because…. they made a deal. And so she is trying to warn
us. Trying to send a message in a bottle. Something that only I
could know; and Janey could confirm as true. Other way round:
Something only Janey would know and I could confirm as true. What
do I have? Nothing. Wait…. Of course I have something. I carry it
inside me. That blood. It is loaded with the identity of the things
I have been given from both my parents. Both…. Janey is a fake; the
real person has been used. We are waiting to catch up with them…. I
have to find out what she knows. One way to do this. Because then I
will have one up on Mr Alexander. He wants me to avoid the fake
girl. They want to keep us apart…. Because there is something that
she has leaked. Something that I would spot. Sacrifice the pawn. It
doesn’t matter what we do. She is of no further use once her
identity is revealed. Therefore, I must find out what she knows. He
is trying to protect his investment in the whole magic trick….
Funny I should think of it that way! Well; this whole thing is
preposterous. Wait!