The Passion of Mademoiselle S. (18 page)

SUNDAY EVENING

This letter will not be very different from the others, from all the others, my adored one, and yet I know you are waiting for it with the same impatience as when you received my first note. That was nearly eighteen months ago. True to my promise, I shall send it first thing tomorrow so your anticipation is not disappointed.

My dear love, I am filled with tenderness this evening and I have only one regret: I cannot rest my head in your lap and tell you all the thoughts rising up from my heart to my lips. I wish you were here this evening, how blissful it would be! We would be reunited in this magical setting, and this big bed where our love was first born would be too broad an expanse for the two of us. For I would be huddled close up to your heart as I told you the words that will only be committed to paper this evening. And it is the same love song that I offer up to you every time, wrapping you in its sweet harmonies, giddying your senses and lulling your heart. My words, those same words again, will offer the best of my heart to you once more.

I love you to distraction, my dear beloved. Every ounce of me now only lives thanks to your ardent caresses. My longing for your body constantly torments me, and in the terrifying loneliness of the night, I reach my arms toward you in vain, embracing only emptiness, always emptiness. When I am far from you, I feel panic and despair, and your presence alone can soothe the anguish in my heart. I am bound to your flesh by all the embraces you have shown me, and nothing will ever be strong enough to tear me away.

You are beautiful, my lover, and I am in love with your beauty. I love your supple vigorous body, your arms, which wrap around me and hold me tight, and your powerful thighs, which bear down on my rump. I love your voluptuous lips, whose kisses burn my skin, and more than anything else I love the wonderful look in your gorgeous eyes. Oh, those eyes, how they have ruffled my heart from that very first look! Oh, the flame that burned in them when they met mine the first time we saw each other! I already loved your eyes before I knew you. But now I adore them, for I can see your love and your desire in them, and they have such a beautiful bright expression that, under the effects of my ardent attentions, gradually darkens and goes out entirely when you climax. Yes, you are beautiful, Charles, and I am proud of you. And I love you more every day. In just a few days I shall be reunited with your wonderful body. Filled with boundless happiness, I shall smother it with kisses before taking it in a fierce embrace, for I am not sure how long I shall be able to resist my longing to bugger you forcefully, my darling little Lottie. It is many weeks now since you have surrendered your ass to me so I can probe it with my triumphant prick, and I want to repeat that brazen coupling for which you once hungered. And I know you are haunted by thoughts of it too, for I have before me the suggestive drawing from Arles. It is not me, you say, but what does that matter to me, for I am not far away, just a few paces from you? I am lying on my back with my thighs spread and a very young woman, almost a child, is sucking my cunt. And you are watching while your “lover” drives his enormous prick into your hole. And, mutually aroused by these “accomplices,” we climax deliriously.

That is what you wanted to do, isn't it, darling? We would both be fulfilling an outrageous longing; the thought of it has dogged us relentlessly. But afterward we would need no one more. It would be just the two of us, and we shall love each other. Yes, my loved one, I shall have the strength to overcome my secret resistance, and I shall hand you over to this lover you dream of having. And I too shall give myself to my mistress for you to see, and then you will know how much I love you, but we must be patient for I cannot really see how we could attempt this adventure before the summer.

Will you be satisfied by me alone until then? You know how ardently I am driven to give you pleasure, my beloved. Nothing can stop me and very soon, I should think, I shall prove that I am “dirtier” than ever. You will wantonly surrender your beautiful body to me, and I shall sow kisses from your breasts to your balls, from your lips to your cock. My tireless tongue will lick and delve into the folds of your ass to prepare the way for the stiff tip of my big teat. Do you know anything more exciting than having your cock and your ass licked at the same time while your balls are stroked by a nimble hand? Yes, I want to try to make you come like that. Shall I succeed? I cannot be sure but it will give you a tremendous sensation and a powerful erection. There, I am spreading my thighs nice and wide, and putting my legs on your shoulders while my arms grip you around the waist. You can feel it go in right up to your balls. I sprinkle it constantly with an abundant flow of come, and my flesh contracts furiously around your dick. I keep spraying like the beautiful bitch that I am, again and again. Oh, you make me come, you filthy darling. Yes, fuck me again and forever, I love it.

On Friday perhaps, but definitely on Saturday, we shall be reunited in our room and we shall be free to indulge in our favorite exploits. I shall love you with unstinting ardor. Will you let me bugger you once more, even if only once? I shall be sensible and shall avoid jerking movements but I want you to be my little Lottie again, for I am afraid you are wearying of our embraces. Bugger me. Oh, darling, we really are filthy, the pair of us! Where are we going and whatever will next summer be like when we shall be free? Will we watch scenes of debauchery together as spectators, or shall we be the performers in scenes of our own? Whichever it is, we shall be happy, don't you think, Charles?

I love you, darling love, and I shall prove it to you once again when next we meet. And you, do you love me as much? On Friday you said, “You know very well there is
only one
woman I love.” Is it me or the other woman? Tell me soon. Tell me you are deliriously happy in my arms, and that I alone fulfill all your desires and obligingly comply with
all your whims,
and that you will always keep me for yourself. Tell me quickly that you adore me. You have never told me whether I am the one
whom you prefer
in the lovemaking game. Which of us knows best how to make you come, her or me? Tell me at least once, my love. I adore you, Charles, Lottie. Till Tuesday, until there is anything better. Sending you frantic kisses, my dear love, wherever you want them.

Simone

31 DECEMBER 1929

I shall certainly feel some regret, my love, as I watch this wonderful year come to an end later this evening. Surely it has spoiled me terribly, for I have lived so many days with a heart full of happiness, and all my senses appeased by your tenderness and your caresses.

And as for this new year about to begin, you know that my dearest wish is to be in your arms as often as possible. Let's hope that, instead of separating us, this year will bring us together more, my loved one, and will bring us both the fulfillment we seek.

I hope your desires will finally be realized, my dear love, and that on some wild night we shall watch magnificent sights: women licking each other's asses, men sucking each other's cocks, and couples bound to each other in the lewdest embraces. And I hope you will finally find the vigorous man who will bring you to a devastating climax. Oh, I know how much pleasure it will give you to suck his huge cock. Your greedy, skillful mouth takes in every inch of it and you fondle his balls to give him an even bigger erection. You come, you filthy boy, but imagine the intoxication next when he buggers you right up to the hilt and now it is my mouth sucking on your cock.

Yes, this new year will probably see our wildest desires come true. I ask nothing but your love, as ever, and your touch on me. You are my little god, and I adore you. Look at me with your gorgeous big eyes, and take all of me in an endless embrace. Fuck me, fuck me, drive your huge cock into my cunt.

I love you.

Simone

My dear treasure,

However powerful my longing to write to you yesterday evening, I was not at my leisure to do so, for I had to host some unexpected guests.

Oh, but how I thought of you all evening, my love! I had hardly left you and already I could feel my wild craving for you rising again. I thought of the precious minutes I have with you every evening, of the outrageous things I say to you and the instant effect they have on your cock. My, your beautiful prick does stand to attention quickly when I get on to particular subjects that you and I hold dear! From the very first words, he fills his pink head and then his entire body. He stands rigid, magnificent, inside your trousers, and my hand can feel him, can make him out, so hard and ready to ejaculate. It would take only the subtlest bit more pressure, a slightly longer stroking for a stream of come to be released from your well-filled balls. This fondling in the complicit darkness of the street makes me long all the more for the time together we have promised each other, and I arrive home with my mind inflamed and my blood seething. Oh, how I still love you, darling Charles, despite the months marching by and all the extravagances we have already committed! My appetite for your attentions is still not sated. I crave them more and more. I require them, I want them, and I am already dreaming of the supreme happiness afforded by our fierce couplings.

Tomorrow I shall probably be yours and you will be mine. I have now been waiting days on end for this wonderful time, waiting with the same fevered excitement, the same longing as before, in the early days of our love. But we were very well behaved then, my loved one, do you remember? We barely risked the occasional emboldened move, but now what is there that we would not dare do? We have tasted all the wildest pleasures and dreamed up the filthiest ministrations, and how happy it makes us, my darling treasure!

So tomorrow I shall be waiting for you in our little room. I shall undress and lie quite naked in the big bed, with the curtains drawn. You will barely be able to see me in the half-light, and your eyes will seek out your little mistress's rump, her breasts and her stomach. Your cock is already straining inside your trousers. He is pulsating. Oh really, come quickly, my beloved, come quickly.

And now you are beside me, also naked, and your flesh burns with the tide of desire washing over you. Give me your mouth, my darling. Give me your lips. Intoxicate me with your furious kisses. Ah, I am on top of you, can you feel me? I have gripped my thighs around yours, and pressed my groin against your cock, which is rigid with insatiable desire. Oh yes, drive him in there, drive into my cunt. Make me come again, again and forever.

I want to teach you something tomorrow. I want to show you how to suck a dick. I shall put the “substitute” between my thighs and you can take it in your mouth. While you stroke my curly hair above the ramrod, I will talk you through the moves, arousing you with my voice, and you will see how wonderful it is, my dear love. Of course, as you said yesterday, it cannot “pay off.” That is true, and I wish I could offer you a real cock, a nice, big, hard living one. Oh yes, if we could have an accomplice, what a wonderful time we would have! Because I would be frantically aroused watching you grappling with him. I should like to watch you sucking a real prick. This is how I picture the scene: You are both on the bed, he at the foot and you at the head, and you are sucking at each other. I give you encouragement: “Go on, go on, suck him, suck him, more, more. Suck my little Lottie well and you, my Lottie, you do the same for him.” The sight of your interlocked bodies drives me wild and I rub my button to intensify my own pleasure and yours. But enough. I want to be an accomplice in your games too. I lie on my back and you start fucking me, and at the same time he buggers you. You reach a double climax because you have the pleasure of being in my cunt and you can feel his great prick in your ass.

It would be wild to taste such pleasures, don't you think, my beloved? Are we really perverted enough? Let's hope that, some day, we can realize this outlandish dream.

Oh, I love you, my dear treasure. I love you more and more. I cannot cope without you now. I want to keep you forever.
You are my only love,
my only beloved, and without you love holds no appeal for me. You are the fairy-tale lover who has conquered my flesh and whose skilled ministrations kindle my desire. Beloved darling, do you still love me as much despite the passage of time? Do you still long for my body just as ardently? Do you long to experience another woman's touch? Oh, I am so afraid of losing you that I wish I were the personification of vice to bind you to me forever. Don't ask another woman for these exhausting kisses, don't surrender your cock to other lips than mine, and keep your ass for me, keep it for me alone so I can bugger it with fierce passion.

I should like to have a long letter from you this evening. I shall reply to it, and tomorrow we can read my answer together. Would you like that, darling love? Please go to the trouble and hurry and write me one of those adorable letters like the ones you write when we are apart.

Goodbye, my darling treasure, till this evening, but more important, till tomorrow. Oh, how I shall love you!

Simone