The Passion of Mademoiselle S. (17 page)

MONDAY, 4:30 P.M.

My darling love,

Two more hours and I shall finally set off to be reunited with you. I really cannot wait to kiss your beloved lips passionately, and time goes so slowly without you.

I have been incredibly preoccupied since this morning, my loved one, because when I woke I was still caught up in my dream from last night and I just cannot shake off the thought of it.

Listen….

We were in a huge apartment, me, you and another young man. We were drinking copious amounts of champagne and the three of us were naked. You started stroking me lovingly, your cock straining with violent longing, while our friend sucked furiously at your ass. All of a sudden you were lying full length on some cushions and he was sucking your cock while I pleasured him vigorously with my hand. Meanwhile, you had your head between my thighs, drinking my free-flowing juices.

Then you turned and reciprocated the attention on him. His glorious prick disappeared between your lips and I pleasured your cock just as powerfully as I had his, while I plied my cunt with my other hand.

Then he and I set each other a challenge, to be the one to make you come. Who would do it best? So next came this extraordinary scene: Our young friend drove his rigid prick into you, and I watched him buggering you. I was crazed with jealousy but you did not come under his brutal attentions. And then I noticed an enormous dildo under the table. I picked it up and immediately started buggering you with it myself. I kept my stomach pressed up against your ass and drove the magnificent member into your hole while my hand worked expertly on your prick. You shuddered strangely and did not ask for mercy. Twice, three times I took you like that, and soon you collapsed onto the divan, overwhelmed.

I woke this morning very disturbed by this outrageous dream and have not stopped thinking about it since. I want to make it come true, when can I? Let's talk about it this evening, can we?

I adore you, my loved one, I shall see you soon, but I want your ass all to myself, and not be forced to give it to anyone else…unless that really is what you want!

Simone

THURSDAY, 14 NOVEMBER 1929

My great love,

Before anything else you must forgive this morning's letter and tear it up. I do not want to leave any trace of my absurd jealousy, which suddenly erupts despite my best efforts. I want to stop tormenting you, my dear darling, and although, alas, I may continue to suffer, you will hear no more of my heart's laments, and you can believe I am finally cured of this evil, which gnaws at me stealthily. Yes, I have faith in you, I have faith in your love, and I ask only one thing, that you keep your softest caresses and your wildest embraces for me, and when you are in my arms you are the depraved and passionate lover I have created for myself, and for myself alone.

I adore you, my dear love, you are my whole life, and my body will know no other touch but yours. So long as you love me, I shall be yours, I swear it.

Will tomorrow be the day we can be together at last, when we can melt into each other in one of those couplings that drains us by so utterly fulfilling us? I can feel an imperious craving for your body rising within me, and I want to love you more wildly than ever. These long days apart have whipped all my senses into a paroxysm of longing, and I can tell I shall throw myself on you tomorrow, succumbing to the full ardor of my desire. And, darling, you will give me that beautiful body that I adore. I have not laid eyes on it for a week, and I have a burning need to smother it with delirious kisses.

I am not yet sure how this sensational hour will end. How would you like to come, my love? Shall I provide a warm haven for your cock between my breasts? Would you like me to swallow your come? Or will you bugger your darling little bitch? Or perhaps you will pleasure your beautiful prick before her eyes and sully her swooning body with hot, cloying sperm. We cannot predict that final moment, and we can decide nothing in advance, for it will all depend on what powers of resistance we have tomorrow after an hour of demented couplings. We shall be truly exhausted but I shall still have the strength to make you offload furiously. You must tell me how you want me to take you, with my breasts, my mouth, or my ass, and I shall give myself entirely to you.

You must love me with all your might, Charles, to prove that your desire is as keen as it always has been, and that you are deliriously happy in my arms.

I am waiting impatiently for our tryst, when I can make you offload uncontrollably. I have never been such a dirty bitch as I am now, and my longing for you is wilder than ever. You will discover that for yourself tomorrow.

I am alone in the little room where we once loved each other so frenziedly, do you remember, and as I write, I am stroking my button with one firm finger, and I can feel it swelling and preparing to climax. A boundless exhilaration steals over my whole body, and I would finish the deed if I did not plan to save all this come, and give it to you tomorrow. You will make it spray out with your skilled tongue, and your cock will find every last drop in the depths of my cunt, won't it, my darling love? You will fuck me furiously, and my thighs are spreading of their own accord at the thought of the wonderful sensations you give me. Oh, I love you, you are an incomparable lover and I want to keep you forever and ever.

Till this evening, my beloved love, but even more so, till tomorrow. I adore you, dear lover. Fuck me hard.

Simone

Very unusually, this last letter is dated—14 November 1929. This dating could possibly be explained by the fact that this is an anniversary of sorts: The letter comes seventeen months after Simone's affair with Charles began (we know from a previous letter that they met on 14 June 1928), so perhaps, miscalculating, Simone had this marked as their year and a half anniversary. This is an indication of the extreme importance Simone attaches to the passage of time endorsing a relationship that she knows is fragile.

This is three weeks after the Crash of 1929, which was to throw Europe into chaos and launch mankind toward the Second World War; but Simone is not concerned with outside events. Her only focus of interest is her relationship with Charles, and her correspondence reveals only fragmentary snatches of her life, confining itself to this all-consuming passion.

THURSDAY, TEN O'CLOCK

My loved one,

You will not be surprised to hear I was filled with emotion when I reread the letter I had skimmed through all too quickly in your presence. Deciphering those perverse and passionate words a second time ignited such feverish desire that I was unable to get to sleep until well into the night. Unfortunately, it was impossible for me to assuage my rutting senses, for the current arrangements forbid me any freedom. Besides, I prefer it thus, for tomorrow I shall give you all the reserves of vigorous longing I have within me, and it will be your fierce kisses that make me die with pleasure.

So, my dear love, you have agreed to accept the ultimate experience I dream of providing for you. Yes, I confess, such a scene would be a tempting sight for the passionate mistress that I am, and I feel sure it will afford me a rare delight to see you succumbing to the assaults of a valiant male. But you know, to achieve this we shall need an evening of pure madness, an evening when we are both inflamed and overexcited…For I am still not sure I would have the strength to surrender you to anyone in cold blood. I promised I would let you have this perverse sensation, but I cannot make up my mind. One evening when you are free, completely free, we shall go together to find a handsome lover worthy of taking your thrilling body, and before my eyes you will offer up your ass to his hard cock. I can picture the scene in astonishing detail: The man is lying quite naked. You suck avidly at his limp cock, which soon responds to your ardent kisses and rears its proud head, and when it is perfectly ready, you then take his place. You lie your glorious body down on the bed. Resting your head between your arms and with your thighs raised, you reach your little brown hole toward this muscular male. He straddles your body and, gripping your shoulders the better to hold his prey, he gives one brutal thrust and drives his triumphant member into your vanquished flesh. He's buggering you, my Charles, this handsome lover you have dreamed of finding is buggering you, and you can feel his full round balls knocking between your thighs. Your body contracts and shudders to this devastating sensation. I have at last allowed you to realize your wildest longing, and I welcome back into my arms a lover exhausted and conquered, still gasping from his extraordinary climax.

Darling Charles, you must understand how much I adore you if I am prepared to give you this proof of my love. You must understand how much I long to please you if I consent to this outlandish idea: giving you a male lover. And I wonder anxiously whether you will develop too keen a liking for this coupling and will want to repeat it in the future. But no, that won't happen, will it, dear darling? And you will come back to me with the same tenderness you have shown me for eighteen months. I trust in your love, and I believe all the sweet things you say in your letter.

If you love the depraved mistress you have in me, if you love her above all else, I am not afraid of disappointing you, because my own desire for you is more violent than ever. I long night and day for that glorious body of yours, and I picture its every secret contour. Your adorable little breasts with their pink nipples, your smooth white stomach, the dark curls jealously guarding the pink flower of your cock, and lastly but best of all your hole in all its mystery, the part I love most. Darling, you cannot imagine the happiness I feel when I take possession of that warm flesh, which gradually gives way to my tongue's willful probing, and my pleasure knows no bounds when I drive my prick between your taut buttocks.

Yes, give me this wonderful plaything soon. Gird my hips with the fearsome cock and you will soon see that you can already have the most exquisite sensations in my arms. Who knows, I may even manage to match the possible lover I plan to offer you. In any event, I know you will wait more patiently for this new exploit, for I shall be sure to bind you irresistibly to me when I take total possession of your flesh as I have done in the wildest dreams that fill my titillated mind. Yes, dear love, for a year now I have been the indefatigable male lover your depravity craved, and I shall always want to be, if that is what you want too. When you have given me the impressive dildo, I will have nothing left to fear and you will surrender yourself to me completely and utterly. No, I will not try out my powers on another mistress. Have I not found in you the most entrancing and fervent of girlfriends? Do you not give me every pleasure I crave, and are you not a docile plaything who accepts my every whim?

I have not forgotten the indelible experiences we had last week. With your little pink breasts quivering in my hand, you are the most beautiful mistress I could wish for, and I want you alone. You are my beloved little woman, my Lottie whom I adore, and I have such wonderful experiences in your arms that I shall always remember them. You have become very adept in the art of sucking my cunt, and I have no doubt you will find ways to do better still. Has it occurred to you that with the dildo you will be able to screw me tirelessly? The illusion will then be complete for me because you will be disguising your true sex, revealing it only at the last moment when, helplessly aroused by the frenzied attentions you have lavished on me, you can no longer contain your desire.

My dear love, tomorrow we shall meet again in our lovely big room. And I know we shall be filthier than ever for we shall be picturing these future scenes of debauchery. I shall play the part of that unknown man for you. I shall take your conquered flesh furiously, and you will be my little Lottie, my ardent and depraved little woman.

Tomorrow I should like to experience the sensation you have described. You can bugger me and trail your tongue all around my hole. And I shall return to licking both your cock and your ass. Your flesh will have to relax considerably to accommodate my huge prick. And you will suck me relentlessly, and fuck me as, before your eyes, I fondle myself as I do when I am alone and you will be doubly aroused.

Ah! Darling, what else shall we invent to afford still wilder pleasures? We are sinking ever deeper into our depravity as if into quicksand from which there is no escape. Shall we reach the depths of this unsuspected abyss together, a place where our very sanity wavers and our free will surrenders, and shall we one day be united by still more unusual pleasures? I do hope so, my love, for we are irresistibly bound by this depravity. Our intertwined bodies are sliding down the slope and we cannot stop this descent by clinging to any branch. That fragile branch was modesty, but we snapped it long ago and we now scatter its twigs around us with every new fall. Do you want to slip into that bottomless abyss with me? Do you love me enough to attempt the journey? Are you afraid of my depravity? Are you afraid that our shared madness should become your own madness? Will you ever be able to erase the stigmata of my love from your body? No, you have now been stamped with my seal. You belong to me and I shall keep you. I shall take you to a fantastical paradise where your senses will experience outlandish ecstasies. I am more perverse than ever, and I am aware of impossible desires mounting inside me. I want to bind you to my body with fiery kisses to consume your ardor and your will, and to empty your last drop of blood. I shall leave you only when you are a puppet with no strings, with no mind of your own. But then I shall be nothing but an empty, lifeless doll myself, for we shall both have spent our entire youth satisfying our vices and our passions. I love you, I do love you. Oh, that is the only thing I can think to say to you, for it alone encapsulates all the ardor, all the fire of my young senses, and I also know that you love me.

Tomorrow we shall witness this ardent love we have for each other. We can gauge the full extent of our madness, for we truly are mad, darling Charles, mad about each other. I now cannot think of you without shuddering from head to foot with urgent desire, and I cannot wait to give myself to you with all my might.

Oh, give me your ass, which I adore, give me all the treasures of your voluptuous body, and take me, take all of me in demonic couplings, and empty me of everything down to the very marrow in my bones.

We shall love each other furiously tomorrow, in anticipation of still better things to come.

Do reply with a long letter so that when I see you tomorrow I can spill my come wildly into your mouth and over your cock.

I adore you, do you know that?

Simone