The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (90 page)

All of us have sin in our past. Yes, we are guilty of dreadful failures, but the great message of Christmas is that God will forgive. And once we are forgiven, God never reminds us of past failures. In fact, in Isaiah 43:25, he tells us that he "will never think of them again." What a promise!

We need to follow God's example. If your mate confesses and asks forgiveness, you must never again bring up the past. Remember, your well-being is not determined by the past, but by what you do with the future. What is important is how you treat each other today, not how you treated each other last month or last year.

Follow the apostle Paul's example from Philippians 3 and forget the past, concentrating instead on the future and your end goal-to live a Christlike life. Forgetting the past is the key that can open the future, bringing reconciliation between you and your spouse.

Father, on this Christmas Day, I want to thank you for sending Jesus to the world to save us. His sacrifice makes it possible for you to forgive us and forget the past! Please help me to stop looking back at my spouse's past failures and rehashing the hurt. Instead, I want to look forward to the growth and reconciliation we can experience in the future. Show me how to forgive and love like you do, Lord.

[Paul said,] `I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: `It is more blessed to give than to receive."' ACTS 20:35

HAPPINESS IS A UNIQUE COMMODITY. It is never found by the person shopping for it. Lonely men and women in every age have admitted the futility of their search for happiness, most notably King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. This wealthy, powerful king, with servants to cater to his every whim, found most things in life to be tedious, meaningless, and devoid of joy.

Most of us get married assuming that we are going to be happy. After the wedding, we find that our mate does not always seek to make us happy. Perhaps our spouse even demands more and more of our time, energy, and resources for his or her own happiness. We feel cheated and used, so we fight for our rights. We demand that our spouse do certain things for us, or we give up and seek happiness elsewhere.

Part of the apostle Paul's definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it is not self-seeking" Genuine happiness is the by-product of making someone else happy. I wonder what would have happened if King Solomon had found someone to serve? Don't the Scriptures say, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35)?

Do you want to be happy? Discover someone else's needs, and seek to meet them. Why not begin with your spouse? "How may I help you?" is a good question with which to begin.

Lord Jesus, you told us that blessing comes from giving, not receiving. Please help me to turn around my expectations. I don't want to waste my time and energy grasping at happiness only to be disappointed. Instead, show me how to reach out to my spouse, giving to him or her. I want to bring happiness to my mate through the way I express my love.

Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. i PETER 2:17

WHEN YOU BECOME a mother-in-law or father-in-law, you enter a whole new world of relationships. Don't just let it happen. Talk about it.

Before your son or daughter gets married, talk about what life will be like after the wedding. Talk with your spouse; talk with your child; and talk with your future son- or daughter-in-law.

You want to have good relationships, so talk about what would make them good. Listen to each other. Respect each other's ideas. Agree on a game plan. Answer the following questions:

nv What should the new son-in-law or daughter-in-law call us?

ow If we will be living in the same area, will we call each other before we show up at the door? Or will we just drop by anytime?

nv What kind of contact will we have after the wedding? How often will we call each other or visit?

ow Are we open to invitations for dinner? Will each couple give the other the freedom to say no if we have other plans?

c Will we help the young couple financially? If so, how can we do it without the younger couple feeling controlled?

When we treat our family members-and new family members-with love and respect, we are following the apostle Peter's advice. We are also setting the stage for strong family relationships in the years to come. Preparing for life after the wedding is fully as important as planning for the wedding.

Heavenly Father, l want to have a good relationship with my son- or daughter-inlaw, whether I'm in that situation now or whether it's still far in the future. Thank you for the reminder that proactive communication, love, and respect are always beneficial. May our family relationships grow ever stronger, more supportive, and more loving.

Let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. GALATIANS 6:9

MY CHALLENGE FOR You today is to love your spouse, even when you have negative emotions toward him or her. You may ask, "Isn't that being hypocritical?" My answer is no. Claiming to feel something that you do not feel is hypocritical, but acting lovingly regardless of your emotions is not. When you express kindness by a thoughtful act or a gift, you do not have to claim any warm emotional feeling. You are simply choosing to be kind.

The Bible tells us not to get tired of doing the right thing. When we treat our spouse kindly and lovingly, we are doing what pleases God. He promises that eventually, if we persevere, we will see blessing.

It is the same thing we do every morning. I don't know about you, but if I got out of bed only on the mornings that I felt like getting out of bed, I'd have bedsores. Almost every morning, I act in spite of my feelings and get up when the alarm goes off. Later I feel good about having gotten up-most days, at least.

Negative feelings are more often alleviated when they are ignored rather than pampered. When you act positively in spite of negative emotions, it tends to change the emotional climate between husband and wife. Resentment dissipates, and both spouses are more open to each other. Perhaps this is the blessing God promises! Once you're at that point, then together you can deal with the issue that initially stimulated your negative feelings.

Father, please give me the perseverance to treat my spouse kindly, even when 1 don't feel like it and even when 1 feel like giving up. I know that when 1 express your love, the atmosphere between me and my spouse can change. I need your will and determination to move beyond my emotions and do the right thing. Thank you for helping me, Lord.