The Mason List (16 page)

In the
shadows, I saw his green eyes get a little nervous.  I knew it was the pinnacle
moment of the evening; if he would just go for it.  I took a deep breath, and
smiled, trying to let him know it was ok, even though I was nervous too. 

Gentry
leaned forward slightly bumping my nose.  His pink lips tasted salty from the
platefuls of chips consumed at the party.  He kissed the way he did most other
things.  It was very nice and sweet.  Gentry turned the slight peck into a
deeper kiss, using his lips to pull open mine.  He was definitely much better
at this than dancing. 

After
Gentry left, I tiptoed through the dark house to my bedroom trying not to wake
up my father.  I was surprised he wasn’t sitting in the living room waiting for
me.  Flipping on the lamp, I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep from
screaming.

“What are
you doing here?”  I whispered, seeing Jess sitting on my bed.

“I was… a
just makin’ sure you got home.”

“Shhh…”

“Sorry,”
he whispered.  Jess had his tie off and the white shirt unbuttoned at the
throat.  He grinned at me as I came over to stand in front of him.

“You need
to go.  My dad will kill you if he comes in here.”

“Ok.”  He
stumbled a little getting off the bed.

“Have you
been drinking?”

“Just a
little,” he grinned close to my face.  I smelled beer on each word that left
his pink lips.

“Did you
drive here?”

“No, I
um, parked about half mile away on the four-wheeler.” 

“Ok.” 

As I
walked Jess to the window, his arm went around my back holding on to me.  He
leaned over to my ear and whispered, “Did you kiss him?”

“That’s
none of your business.”  I looked into his blue eyes trying to figure out just
how drunk he was tonight.  “Can you find your way back home?”

“Yeah,
I’ll be fine,” he smiled again.  Reaching up to my cheek, he pushed a red curl
behind my ear.  “You really do look pretty tonight.”

I rolled
my eyes. “Goodnight, Jess.”

He
climbed outside and stumbled before landing on both feet.  I watched until he
disappeared into the dark shadows of our yard.  That boy really was a crazy
mess sometimes.

Chapter 23

Today,
12:13 p.m.

I watch
the pretty face of the beauty queen as she dabs my bare skin with the fluffy
towel.  She wraps it around my body and tucks it between my breasts like a
toga.  “I’ll be back with your clothes.”

I bit my
lip hard, tasting the metallic blood.  Alone for the first time in hours, I
feel the weight crash back down on my shoulders.  Maybe this was a dream.  A
terrible nightmare of a dream conjured up from watching a horror movie before
falling into the comfort of my bed.  After all, it had everything needed for
it.  A beauty queen and a bloody scene called
Hospital Massacre from Hell.

She
returns with a mysterious bundle of clothes.  Someone had gone through the
drawers in my bedroom and picked out an outfit.  I put my hands on her
shoulders as she slides a fresh pair of panties up my long legs.  Removing the
towel, I keep my eyes on the ceiling while she hooks my bra around my back. 

The fresh
t-shirt slides over my damp hair.  I hold on to her shoulders again as she
pulls the worn jeans up to my hips.  My head spins a little and I clasp a hand
to my stomach, feeling the nausea.  The beauty queen puts an arm around my
waist as we walk back to the room.

“Do you
want back on the bed or in the chair?”

“Why are
you helping me?”

She
hesitates and finally says, “It’s my job.”

“But why
are you helping
me
?”

“Because
I want to help you, Alex.  I just want to do somethin’.”

I hear
footsteps.  Twisting around, I see my father walk back through the door.  He
holds a plastic container.  The smell of chicken noodle soup wafts through the
room.  Bile rises up in my throat.   He hands the container in my direction. 
“Sit in the chair and try to eat this.”

“I told
you, I’m not hungry.”

“When did
you last eat?”

“I…ate
lunch, I guess.  I had pizza.”

“You
threw that up, Pumpkin,” his voice is soft, “hours ago.”

“I…I…can’t
eat.”  I close my eyes, trying to find composure.  The beauty queen leads me to
the chair and I fall into the plastic seat.

“You have
to try to keep something down.”

My
fingers dig into the palm of my hand.  “I will try to eat if you let me go.  I
want to talk to Dr. Mason,
myself
.”

“Ok.” 
His jaw clenches a little on the words.  “I’ll go see what I can do.  Just try
to eat while I’m gone.”

Chapter 24

When
I was eighteen…

The days
of summer swept across the meadow faster than I could blink.  Graduation seemed
like yesterday, but that terrifying night was two months ago.  A person worthy
of the academic title of valedictorian should not be subjected to giving a
speech.  Valedictorians are people focused on grades and tests and homework. 
They are not the social ones who like talking to large audiences.  Despite my
nervous stomach, I survived that wretched night and wished everyone the best,
or so I said in my prepared speech.  I could not, in good faith, wish everyone
the best.

At least
high school and all its dramatic pieces were finally over.  Now, I waited for
my exit from Arlis.  I waited while I spent every moment of my final summer on
the ranch with Jess.

“I'm
bored,” I said, stretching out on my back against the grassy bank next to the
pond.  I was getting fidgety, wishing I’d brought my drawing pad.   “The fish
just don't like me today.”

“They
never like you.  Fish can sense hostility.”

“Shut
up!”  I said, throwing a lure from the tackle box in his direction.  It didn’t
even come close to nicking him across the arm.

“See,
hostility,” Jess smirked back at me.

“I am not
hostile!”

“Al,
you’re always wound up tight about somethin’.  What was it yesterday?  I
listened to you complain about Mrs. Fleming and her banana split for what, two
hours.”

“That OCD
bitch forced me to remake it because she said the toppings were not distributed
evenly
into thirds,” I spat the words, making little drops of spit fall
down on my cheeks.

“Not
again, ok.  You got a free split out of it.”

“Which
you
ate while hiding out in Jeeter's again from Uncle Frank.  You really should
just say something to him.” 

“Are you
kidding?  Like he’s gonna understand.   He's been on my case the last month.  I
need the breaks.” 

“I think
he's sad to see you go and doesn’t know how to tell you.”

“I'm
sorry, but twenty hour days are no way to show it.  Besides, if he had
one
of
those damn cell phones the government uses to track our every move
then he could find me, when he sends me to town on errands.” 

I giggled
at his impression of Frank.  “That one was pretty good.  I bet though,
somewhere deep inside, he’s all mush.  I bet he cries every night about you
leaving, maybe even more than your Mother.”

“I doubt
it.  He’s hard as granite.  It would probably take a diamond to cut through him
and you know what they’d find inside?  A heart made of dried up dirt and
cigarette ash, at least that’s what Gunther said the other day.”

“You
really need to stop listening to Gunther.  He’s turned the feed store into the
beauty shop.  And most of it isn’t even true, like all those stupid Skeeter
stories.”

“Skeeter
really did get Marla to climb on top of him at The Bar.  Ernie was there too. 
He said it was nasty watching the two of them go at.”

“Gross,”
I rolled my eyes.  The Bar never got a real name even after Ernie added the
line dancing room.  It was more a country club these days but everyone still
called it The Bar.

I gazed
into the cloudless sky, listening to the sounds of the meadow.  Sometimes it
was nice to be out here.  I would miss this part of Sprayberry.  It was a
strange thought, considering the amount of energy I’d spent thinking about how
to get my father and myself off the ranch. 

“Al…what
are you thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Nothing,”
I said, leaning up on my elbow to look at him.

“I don’t
really believe that.”

“I was
just thinking this is our last summer here, and it’s almost over.”

“I
know.”  He turned around, his eyes looking troubled.  “You wanna leave so bad
it worries me sometimes that maybe when we get there, you’ll just…I don’t
know.”

I knew
our lives would not be the same once we left Sprayberry.  I think he felt it
too.  The last couple of weeks had been different with Jess.  He was clingy and
often serious. 

“You’re
gonna be so busy, you won’t notice that I’m not with you all the time.”

“I doubt
that,” he muttered.

“You
don’t know that.  It’s a big campus.”

“I don’t
care,” he frowned, making his sweet face look serious.  “I’m gonna need to see
you every day.” 

“You act
like I’ll be in another state.  It’s just Austin.  Everything will be fine.”

“I know,”
he said, not looking any calmer.  “I’m just sayin’ that I don’t want things
bein’ different with us.”

“We’re
going to be fine.  It’s college, which is better than this rat hole.  We can
meet some new people who are not psychotic for a change.  Leaving Arlis will be
good for us.  We need to go other places.”

“Do you
still think about goin’ to Paris?”  It always sounded funny coming from his
lips, like those picante sauce commercials.

“Sometimes.”

“You’ll
go one day even if I have to take you there myself.”

“Driving
me to Paris,
Texas
doesn’t count,” I rolled my eyes, smiling at him.

 “I’m
serious though.  You’ll go there one day.”

“I hope
so,” I muttered.

“I’ll go
with you.”

I
doubt it
, I
thought but smiled at him anyway.  He’s too tied to Sprayberry for that kind of
thing.

Flicking
the rod, he cast toward the middle of the pond.  Jess settled in, watching the
line.  I rolled to my back and pulled the straw hat over my face to block the
glaring sun.  Sometimes it felt like the ranch wrapped around us like an atomic
force field from the rest of the world.  It would be different in Austin and I
would miss this time with Jess.  I lied to him earlier.  Our lives would not be
the same; it wasn’t possible. 

All of us
were moving on after high school one way or another.  Natalie was leaving at
the end of summer for Tulane.  Gentry had left the week following graduation
and joined the Marines.  After boot camp, they were sending him someplace in
Afghanistan.  It was a somber thought that left a small ache inside my chest at
the prospect of his dangerous future. 

Gentry
and I had dated for the better part of my junior year.  He was perfect in every
way but one.  My body felt empty when he kissed me.  It was good enough, but I
knew it should be different.

I watched
other people with their tongues crammed down each other’s throats, forgetting
every person in the room.  The night Gentry had tried to unbutton my shirt, I
thought about my calculus quiz the next day.  He was sweet and caring but
something about our relationship was just off.  After a long talk on my front
porch, we had parted ways with the promise to stay friends.  Arlis was too
small of a place to stack up enemies and I was already knee deep in bodies.

After the
fight, the rumors eventually died down in the hallways and I was officially
free of Ashley.  I knew it resulted from the literal public freeze-out
initiated by Jess.  He made it clear to the entire school what happened when
you crossed a Mason.  Just like the adults in this town, they scavenged to stay
on the correct side of the fence to prevent social suicide.

The rest
of high school was relatively nice until it came time to figure out where I
should go to college.  The big decision for my future turned into a month-long
battle between me, my father, Jess, and the Masons.  I was accepted into the
honors program as the University of Texas in Austin.  Jess pulled off some form
of a miracle and got admitted too.  I received a small, partial scholarship,
but it wasn’t even close to the dollar figured for living expenses and school.

After
some thought, I applied to a community college that was driving distance from
Arlis.  Everything seemed to fall in place.  I would live at home and commute
to classes while keeping a few shifts at Jeeter’s.  Everyone else thought I was
crazy.  So they fixed it.

According
to my father, the Masons made a generous offer I couldn’t refuse.  The family
would pay for everything not covered by my scholarship.  They insisted I would
have a comfortable life in Austin only to worry about making good grades.  I
told my father,
there’s no way in hell I’m letting the Masons pay for
college. 

The
debate rolled on for weeks.  Everyone had an opinion.  My father said it was
the best thing for my future.  Dr. and Mrs. Mason said I owed it to my place as
valedictorian to attend a school like the University of Texas.  Jess said that
I was going to Austin with him and there would be no discussion.

One
afternoon, I drove the four-wheeler out to the old burned up stump.  It was
Jess's thinking spot, and I needed some serious space to unfold my torment.  I
sat there for hours.  Sometimes I screamed, knowing only the birds and the bugs
could hear me.  I knew the answer the moment it was suggested, but I needed
time to process.  I returned to Mason Manor and walked through the door to find
Jess and his parents eating dinner.  I gritted my jaw with a fake smile and
said,
thank you for sending me to Austin.

I went
home and added the nasty entry to that wretched Mason List.  Just like
everything in my life, I took ten steps back just to go forward with my
future.  I needed the education to receive a degree that would garner a job, to
earn a living, and the means to return everything to this family.  The thought
still haunted me even months later. 

Hearing a
splash from the pond, I removed the straw hat and rolled over on my side,
propping my head up on my elbow.  I watched Jess reel the line to shore.  He
tugged it, making the muscles in his arms tighten.  Jess had caught two carp
earlier in the afternoon only to let them go.  We rarely kept the fish. 
Occasionally, I brought a few back for my father and Caroline.  She could make
just about anything taste good battered and deep fried.

My
instincts had been correct.  A few months ago, Caroline finally convinced my
father to stop by for one of her southern fried, double heart attack dinners. 
Love
at first bite,
I teased him when he came home with a dopey smile.  For the
first time since my mother, he seemed happy.  Everything got brighter in the
Tanner house with Caroline in his life.  It made leaving him at the end of
summer, a little easier.

Jess
tossed the lure back out to the murky water.  Through the white fitted t-shirt,
his body moved with the throw back motion.  His long fingers settled the rod in
place.  Jess rested a dark elbow on his propped up knee.  The faded jeans
stretched tight across his thigh.

I wasn't
oblivious to the fact Jess was an attractive guy.  He was probably the cutest
guy in our high school.  Most of the time, I just didn't give it a second
thought because it wasn't relevant to our friendship.  Despite being the object
of every Arlis girl's fantasy, he’d never dated anyone after Ashley.  I teased
him about a few of them, but Jess said he wouldn’t float that crazy creek again
until he was far out of Palo Pinto County. 

Once we
got to Austin, it wouldn't take long for that grin and baby blues to snag a new
girl.  That’s when things would get different between us.  I would focus on my
career goals and he would find other interesting people to fill his time.

Sitting
up, I grabbed another cold one from the cooler.  It was just Dr Pepper and
A&W root beer today.  After a couple of swigs of DP, I eyed the large bag
of Skittles propped up against the side.  I swear Jess bought a sack big enough
for an industrial-sized candy bucket that would feed all the trick-or-treaters
in a tri-city area.

My lips
pursed in contemplation and I shot Jess a glance out the corner of my eye. 
Boredom brought out the pestery side of me   I tipped the red bag and got a big
handful.  With a quick toss forward, multi-colored splatters filled the pond
with small ripples.  I giggled before he even had time to react.  I knew it
would piss him off, which was the whole point.  

“Alex, stop
that!”

He
reached over to take away the bag just as I fired off another fistful.  Jess
tossed the rod to the ground.  I pulled my elbow sharp to the right to keep the
candy out of his reach.  Before I knew it, my arm knocked his phone off the
tackle box into the depths of the murky pond water.  The small, black square
made a solid plop then disappeared from sight.

Oh,
shit!
I was
dead.
 

With the
bag still clenched in my hand, I scampered to my feet and sprinted out in the
meadow.  The soles of my gray shoes pounded in no particular direction through
the grass.  I had a head start but his long arm circled around my waist, taking
me down in a rolling tackle. 

A rainbow
of candy rained down from the sky, pelting my face.  As Jess pinned me down on
my back, I felt the meadow grass poking through my shirt.  I struggled to get
free but his hands held my arms down on each side of my head.  His legs trapped
my lower torso to the ground.