The Madam (24 page)

He grabbed the sides of my face and looked
deep into my eyes; he was searching for something, I didn’t know if
I had what he was looking for, but I didn’t cower down. I kept his
gaze as intently as he looked into mine. It was as if we were
absorbing our way into each other’s blood streams, where neither of
us could function without the other.

Never taking his eyes off mine, he started to
move; it was slow, loving, and passionate. I had never been with
someone like that before and for some reason I believed that he
hadn’t either. His hand reached for my neck and he softy pressed
down on it. It was the one Mika move that did seem familiar to me;
he always wanted to feel like he could control me in any way, and
what’s more dominate than knowing you could stop someone’s
breathing. I leaned my head further back to expose more of my neck
to him, and he pressed down further.

I moaned and my pussy pulsated. He started to
pump faster into me and the nerves in my lower abdomen throbbed for
release.

“Fuck, Angel…do you have any idea what you do
to me? Your pussy is my kryptonite. You fucking devour me,” he
groaned. “Tell me...tell me what you’re thinking. I want to
know.”

“I’m thinking how fucking amazing your cock
feels and if you keep hitting my g-spot like that, I’m going to
come,” I muttered.

He kept hitting the same spot, more
aggressively than before. “No…that’s not what I want. Hmmm…give me
what I want, Angel.”

I knew what he was implying. “What do you
want from me? Ahhhh…why are you doing this?” I pleaded in the
middle of climaxing.

“Because I always give you what you need, not
what you want,” he simply stated as he angled my leg to hit my
g-spot harder. “Tell me or I’ll pull out.”

“Fuck…I’m thinking…how much I need you…” I
moaned, closing my eyes as I arched my back.

“Let me see your eyes, Angel.” I opened my
eyes and looked intently into his. I could feel he was close to
losing it because his thrusts were becoming faster.

“I’m glad I have you in my life. You’re not
going anywhere,” he groaned, taking me over the edge just as he
was.

We lay like that for several minutes, just
kissing and enjoying the feel of being connected. We passed out in
each other’s arms.

I knew things were going to be different in
the morning, and for the first time, I would embrace it.

I woke up the following morning, feeling
full. My heart thundered in my chest at the thought of Mika. That
had never happened before. I didn’t know what was going on, but it
put a smile on my face, a different kind of smile. One I hadn’t
worn a day in my life.

The smell of coffee flowed into my bedroom,
lifting me from my blissful haze. I got up and put on a robe to
join Mika in the kitchen.

He stood against the counter with his back
toward me. He didn’t hear me approach as I snuck up behind him,
wrapping my arms around his muscular torso, feeling far more
content than I had in a long time.

“Good morning, Angel,” he rasped in his sexy
morning voice. It was a voice I barely heard since we rarely made
it to waking up together.

“Mmmm…good morning indeed.”

“Feeling better?” he asked as he spun around
to take a look at me.

“Yes…although I’m sure you could find a few
more ways to make me feel even better.” His eyebrows rose and a
smile appeared on his handsome face.

“As amazing as it would be to bend you over
my knee and make you feel all kinds of better, I have to get going.
I have some business to take care of.”

“Business? What kind of business?” I
prodded.

The smile fell from his lips as he stared at
me harshly. “Business.”

“Oh, we’re being secretive now?” I tried to
make it sound like I was teasing him, but from the look on his face
I knew I had failed.

“Angel, let’s not get all clingy. I don’t
question you about what you do.”

I have been called many things in my life,
but clingy was never one of them. I was actually as far opposite
from clingy as one could get. It enraged me.

“Clingy? Really, Mika? You didn’t seem to
mind my legs clinging to your body last night. Or my thighs
clinging to your face as you fucked me with your tongue.”

He let out a harsh breath. “Let’s not get
into this right now. Drink your coffee and I’ll talk to you later.”
He handed me a mug and began to walk away.

I threw the ceramic mug against the wall
beside him, barely missing the side of his head. “What the fuck!”
he roared as he spun around with a crazed look in his eyes.

“What was last night, Mika? Huh?”

“That was me giving you what you needed! I
told you that!” he screamed as he slowly walked back in my
direction.

I didn’t back up. I stood taller and glared
right back at him. “And who the fuck are you to decide what I need?
I don’t recall telling you that I needed you to make love to me. I
don’t recall ever needing someone to make love to me.”

“You were hurt and vulnerable. Don’t deny it;
I know you were. You were feeling the pain of losing your child all
over again. You didn’t need me to make you feel any more pain. You
needed me to make you feel loved. And that’s what I did.”

“Well what is it then? Are you telling me you
love me?”

“Don’t do this. Don’t fucking twist my words
around. You know how I feel about you. We are the same. We are
incapable of that kind of love. Do I love you as one of my closest
friends? Yes. I love you in the only way I know how to. And you
know that. You know that I’m not the kind to settle down and play
house. You know it because you aren’t either. That’s not who we
are.” His voice had calmed down, but his words were still harsh,
cutting into the heart I just discovered I had.

For months, I had tried to come to terms with
my feelings for Mika, and I thought last night made it clear. But
hearing him say those words cut me deeper than I knew possible.

My hurt came out as anger. Pure anger, as I
fought with him. “What did you mean when you said you were glad you
had me in your life? And that I wasn’t going anywhere? What was
that supposed to mean? Just something else you thought I needed to
hear?”

“No, Angel. I am glad you are in my life.
You’re fun. And let’s face it; you fuck better than anyone I’ve
ever fucked. And you’re not going anywhere. We’re in this together;
we’re business partners and friends. What did you think I meant by
it?”

I stared at him, feeling foolish. And I don’t
tolerate anyone making me feel that way. “Just go take care of your
business
, Mika. I don’t want nor need you here anymore.”
Even the words came out sad and pathetic.

He tried to kiss me on my forehead but I
backed away.

“You apparently seem to misunderstand what it
is that I need,” I said in a monotone. “I don’t need your kisses or
your pity. I need for you to get the fuck out of my house.”

He shook his head, backed away, and left.

I felt broken. First, it was Julian last
night. Now Mika this morning. Both men that I allowed myself to be
vulnerable with cut my heart out of my chest. I was unlovable; my
own father proved that when he turned his back on me in the prime
of my life. I decided right then and there that I would also be
incapable of love. No one will ever deserve that from me.

I didn’t need to contemplate if I had a heart
anymore. Because I didn’t. It lay beaten and bruised on the floor
in front of me. I grabbed the only thing that loved me, my vile of
white powder, off the counter and breathed it in. Feeling the
euphoria cloak me, I stood and watched what was left of my bleeding
heart die.

I spent the next two months focusing on VIP.
I hadn’t talked to Mika since he walked out that fateful morning.
He didn’t reach out to me and I didn’t bother to try to contact
him. I knew he’d be coming back. He always did.

I sat at my desk, finishing paperwork for a
new VIP, when the door burst open. There was only one person in
this world that refused to knock before entering. I didn’t even
have to look up to know it was Mika. I heard him walk in and shut
the door behind him. I waited for his next move. He sat down on the
chair in front of my desk and cleared his throat.

I looked up. “Can I help you?” I questioned
with a raised eyebrow.

“I missed you, Angel. I’ve missed you a
lot.”

“Mmm hmm…”

“Oh come on; don’t be like that. I came here
to play nice and make friends again. Don’t you want to be my
friend?” he provoked teasingly.

I sighed. “You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit. How about you make me feel
better? Come over here and sit on Mika’s lap.” I bit my lower
lip.

I should have kicked him the fuck out,
however I didn’t. I walked over to his lap and hiked up my skirt to
expose my creamy thighs and then he reached for his belt. We spent
the next two hours getting reacquainted.

I buttoned my blouse as Mika sat on my
desk.

“I’ve missed you. You know that, don’t you?”
he announced, making me look up at him.

I shook my head confused. “What are you
talking about?”

“I fucked up, Angel. I fucked up real
bad.”

“Okay…you’re being really vague. What’s going
on?” I asked, trying to sound casual and not show the emotions that
were playing in my head.

He took a deep breath. “I’m getting married
tomorrow.”

They say that crimes of passion happen in a
brief second. The human mind just twitches for a brief moment in
time and you act on the pure impulse of someone crushing all your
dreams and illusions right before you. I never understood that. I
couldn’t comprehend how a person couldn’t have control of their
actions, regardless the situation.

I understood it that day.

If I had a gun in my hand, I would have shot
him and not thought twice about it.

I did the next best thing. I showed him
indifference. The only way a person can hurt you, is if you let
them.

I laughed, but inside I was dying.
“Congratulations. Is that what you came to tell me?” He cocked his
head to the side, expecting something different from me.

“Would you like to tell me where you’re
registered, I’ll send a gift.”

“She’s pregnant. I’m marrying her because
she’s pregnant,” he declared as if that made things better. I still
had his come dripping down my leg, how about that for irony.

“Well then...I’ll make sure to send two
gifts.”

“Come on, Angel. You know I didn’t plan this;
it was an accident. She was a random fuck and the condom broke. I
don’t go bare except with you,” he agonized.

“Right…listen, I’m happy for you and other
than the fact that you just fucked me, literally, I have high hopes
for your marriage.”

“I have to marry her, if I don’t all my money
is gone. It’s the only way I can keep my trust fund. My father
would never let a bastard of mine be on the streets. I have to take
care of my obligations. I don’t love her and she knows that. She
wants to be taken care of, that’s all.” He pointed between him and
I. “This. Is not over. I’m not going anywhere and neither are
you.”

I walked right over to him, barely a couple
inches away from his face. “Who the fuck do you think you are? When
have I ever been interested in coming in second place? You think
you fucking know me because I let you call me Angel. Get one thing
straight, Mika. I will never be the other woman and if you thought
for one second that coming over here and saying this to me was
going to have me waiting in line for you, then go fuck yourself. Do
you understand? Now…if you would so kindly get the fuck out of my
life.”

He lunged at me and roughly grabbed the back
of my hair. “Oh yeah…you think so, huh? If I were to put my fingers
in your panties, I wouldn’t find my come? It’s not dripping down
your leg right now?” He pulled my hair more, trying to make me
yelp, but I was never one to cower down.

“You’re mine, Angel, and possession is
nine-tenths of the law. I don’t give a fuck who The Madam is and
don’t think you can stay away from me. At the end of the day, I
know whose pussy this belongs to. Do you understand?” He quickly
let go of me and walked out of my office.

After
Mika walked out of my office, essentially my life, I had to do
something. I decided to clean. I had all intentions of clearing out
my mother's belongings that I had yet to get to, but I was not
prepared for what I was about to find. It was as if God had made me
his personal entertainment for the last few days.

I had removed all the files in the last
drawer of my desk. The bottom of the drawer jiggled when I placed
my hand on it. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to get it
open and when I did, I found a single file named, “Elizabeth”. I
put it on my desk and opened it. There was a Polaroid of a newborn
clipped on the back left side; on the right, there were documents.
There, before my eyes, were all the documents of my daughter; the
paperwork that Julian signed, the hospital documents, and the
adoption papers.

The adoption was a closed case. There was no
information given other than the parents’ names, no leads. I
grabbed the file, put it in my purse, and drove to where I needed
to go without giving it a second thought. Gregory Switzer was the
best private investigator in Miami and he had been working for VIP
for years.

“With all due respect, Madam, I don’t have
much to go on here.” His thick German accent wafted through the
small office.

“Are you telling me that you can’t do
it?”

“That is not what I’m telling you. I just
need some more information. Anything you can remember would be
helpful.”

“Then you’re shit out of luck, Gregory…I
don’t remember anything.”