The Madam (26 page)

His fingers lay on top of mine and he pushed
me in deeper and firmer. He kissed and sucked on the side of my
neck as he removed the straps of my dress and bra to expose my
breasts. I whimpered when he bit me.

“You’ve been waiting for me, Angel?” he
whispered in my ear as he sucked on my earlobe.

“Tell me…huh…tell me you’ve been waiting for
me. I want to hear you say it.”

“Mmmmm…” I groaned and he stopped my hand
from moving. I griped at the loss of movement. I was so close to
coming undone and he knew it.

“Tell me and you can come,” he insisted.

“Fuck…Mika,” I pleaded as I tried to move my
hips, but he pushed all his body weight on me, caging me in.

“You want to come…then be a good girl…” I
opened my eyes and stared into his dark, abandoned eyes. He was as
fucked up as I was. We were both lost and used each other to find
our way out of the solitude.

I leaned into his ear and blatantly admitted,
“I’ve been waiting for you. I’m always waiting for you and I
fucking hate you and love you for it.”

“That’s my Angel,” he groaned as he
manipulated my hand to fuck me harder. He roughly kissed his way to
my nipple and took one in his mouth. I could feel his teeth as he
nibbled, making me feel both pleasure and pain. I grabbed the back
of his head, pushing him and molding him into me as his hand went
into my panties to draw circles around my clit. I could hear
panting all around me and the endless amounts of skin on skin
contact.

Mika urgently kissed me and our tongues
twirled and tasted each other. I sucked on his bottom lip as I
removed my hand and found his belt. I freed his hard cock and
soaked it with the juices that were on my hand. He grabbed under my
thigh and pulled my leg up as he plunged deep into my wet core.

“Fuck…you feel good. I’ve been thinking about
this pussy all day.” We stayed like that for several seconds just
enjoying the feel of one another. He wrapped his hand around my
neck and squeezed lightly as he began to thrust in and out of me.
All the sounds and smells added to the sensation of our joining
bodies.

“Harder, Mika…fuck me harder,” I begged as he
grabbed my other leg to wrap around him. My back hit the wall with
every give and take, and I knew I was going to bruise. I needed the
pain and he knew it. The harder he fucked me the tighter I squeezed
on his shaft. I could feel my juices dripping down my ass. I met
him with every thrust until I couldn’t take it anymore and
came.

“Jesus…Angel…come on my cock…just like that…”
he panted as he thrust into me one last time, his entire body shook
along with mine.

The second he placed me on the floor, his
phone rang.

He pulled me into an embrace. “Happy New
Year, Angel,” he said into the side of my neck.

“Happy New Year,” I repeated.

He kissed me one last time and left. I didn’t
have to wonder where he was going. I laughed it off and enjoyed the
rest of my night with my guests.

Happy fucking New Year!

A
year and a half is all it took for things to take a drastic turn;
June 6, 2001 was my 41
^st
birthday. I was never one to
make a big deal out of my birthday, but you can imagine the
attention that it brought. I didn’t care about getting older, I
never looked my age, and you are only as old as you feel. I did my
normal routine early that morning until my phone rang; I was
expecting it to be another celebratory phone call. Except…I was
wrong.

“I found her,” Gregory declared.

As soon as I heard the words, my knees gave
out and I dropped into my office chair in shock. He explained
everything to me carefully and precisely and I took in every
syllable. A part of me didn’t believe what I was hearing; so much
so, that he had to repeat the address of where she was three times
before I could write it without shaking.

The past always has its way of catching up to
you, and mine crept in slowly. It took twenty-four years for me to
get to that point and I had no idea what I was going to do with the
information. Sometimes in life, you think you know the answers to
questions that you constantly ask yourself, but when the moment
truly comes to your front doorstep, you don’t know whether to
answer the door or slam it shut. I don’t care who people think you
are or the persona you have people believe is you, nobody knows
what goes on in your mind when you lay your head to sleep at
night.

And that is the reality of lies and
secrets.

Defense mechanisms are a part of our everyday
existence, and everyone engages in some sort of self-deception. My
favorite would have to be denial; what is fact or fiction in one’s
mind. That day, my mind was racing with thoughts of the unknown and
that is by far the scariest emotion one can feel, especially for
someone like me. I shut out the world that day and it took me
exactly three weeks before I was able to recognize that I knew
where to go to find my daughter.

The real truth behind The Madam is that I
needed a goddamn prodigy. Someone to take the reins when I was done
and I wouldn’t hand it down to anyone that didn’t have my blood in
them.

It took me another week before I made my way
to where she was, to where I could find her. It was exactly one
month after Gregory first told me. As I drove in a state of trance,
I hadn’t realized that I was heading toward the slums. At first, it
was confusing because I couldn’t picture my twenty-four year old
daughter living in this hellhole that I was driving by. I was
fucking disgusted and I hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet. As I
made my way toward the destination of the house, I couldn’t believe
what was happening. I thought Gregory must have given me the wrong
address or I took down the wrong information.

But something inside me told me to get out of
the car, and so I did. I carefully walked up to the house trying to
avoid stepping on shit, cigarettes, or needles and ruining my
$3,000 shoes, internally praying that this wasn’t my daughter and
this was some sort of mistake. The floor creaked below me as I
stepped on the porch and I could smell the stench coming from
inside the house, even with the door being closed. I knocked
several times and there was no answer. I noticed a window on the
side of the house and walked toward it. I didn’t see anything at
first and was about to turn around and that’s when I saw her.

She was dressed in a tank top that barely
covered her breasts and shorts that had filth all over them. I
could see piles of garbage all over the house and liquor and beer
cans everywhere. I watched and waited as she took a seat on the
horrendous couch. Her face was red; I’m sure it was from massive
doses of strong whiskey. Her hair was dirty, greasy, and straggly
looking. I was positive she hadn’t washed it in days. Her darkened
eyes were tunneled by the puffiness around them. She was a fucking
mess, but beautiful.

Had she had the opportunity to blossom the
way I did, she would have no doubt been a beautiful VIP goddess.
She was a VIP, behind the drugs, the alcohol and God knows what
else, the dreadful creature before my eyes was a VIP. Any parent in
their right mind would have felt guilt. I felt fury. That part of
my feelings didn’t exist. Not this time. All I kept thinking was,
how dare she? How dare she pop the cap of a needle right in
front of me? Who the fuck did she think she was?

She was a goddamn Stone and VIPs didn’t look
like this. VIPs didn’t dress like some dumb cunt on a street
corner. VIPs seeped poison from their pussies, not from their
fucking veins. The stench, pouring from every crevice around me was
revolting. The sight of that needle piercing the skin was
disgusting as the blood trailed down her arm. The thought of this
sickly little thing in front of me repulsed me. My daughter was a
piece of shit, the bottom of the barrel, just another fucking
junkie wasting her life away. I felt sick to my stomach; she was a
weak, worthless nothing. I turned to leave immediately, not wanting
to waste my time any more than I already had.

I got in my car and floored the gas pedal,
wanting to get the hell out of the neighborhood. My fingers
anxiously tapped on the steering wheel, trying to drown out the
catastrophe that I had just witnessed and the awful taste it left
in my mouth. I hadn’t even noticed that I ran a stop sign until I
had to slam on my breaks because a woman was crossing the street.
My body jolted from the impact and it was like a sign from God
himself as I stared into the greenest pair of eyes that I had ever
seen in my entire life. The girl was a fucking vision, enough that
it took my goddamn breath away.

She was perfect.

I knew it right then and there. Come hell or
high water, I would have her by any means necessary. She shyly
smiled as she walked away; she must have been around sixteen. I
made sure to wait a few minutes before I trailed behind her,
keeping enough distance to where she didn’t see me but I wouldn’t
lose her. She crossed the street and I watched in horror as she
walked toward a house to retrieve the mail and then yelled, “mom”.
I watched her mother walk out and it cemented my thoughts on
needing to get her the fuck out of there.

She was mine she just didn’t know it yet and
that would change real soon.

I spent the next few days getting everything
in order. I had a plan, and it didn’t take me long to execute it.
This will be the part of my story where you will think that I am
fucking monster, you will turn the page and you will hate me. Like
I’ve said from the beginning, there are always three sides to every
story. Things don’t always go according to plan, but know this…I
have no regrets for the things I have done, because the bottom line
is, I am The Madam and I will ensure my legacy by any means
necessary.

Money can buy anything you have ever wanted
and it doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong, green is the most
powerful color in the world. I waited in my office for my “guest”
to arrive. The minute he walked in, I knew I had him, and it wasn’t
even going to cost me that much. I had no idea who he was or if I
could even trust him, but it was a risk I was willing to take. He
took a seat and crossed his leg; he looked about late thirties,
stubble on his face, dressed decently, but nothing to brag
about.

“Did I tell you could sit down?” I questioned
with an arched eyebrow.

“You need me, princess, not the other way
around,” he replied with a condescending tone.

It made me chuckle. “Mika said you could get
the job done, so let’s get one thing straight, you work for me not
the other way around. If you have a problem with that I will find
someone who doesn’t.” He hesitated but nodded.

“I need you to scare someone for me and it
will be the easiest ten grand you’ve ever made.” He nodded again as
I handed him a piece of paper with the address.

“She lives there and I will give you an extra
grand to pay off the mom. I have no doubt that she will eagerly and
gratefully accept it. You scare the girl and then you come back and
I pay you. Understood?”

“Perfectly. Where do I meet the mom?”

“She hangs out at this dive bar in town and
the address is also on that paper,” I informed the piece of shit
sitting in front of me.

“Can I fuck her?”

“You can stick it in whatever hole she lets
you. As far as the girl goes, just spook her. Am I clear?”

“You honestly think the mother is going to go
for this?”

“I have no doubt,” I divulged.

Five days later, he was back in my office
sitting in the same chair as I grabbed the envelope full of
money.

“I fucked her,” he beamed.

“Good for you, hope you didn’t catch
anything,” I said, laughing as I handed him the envelope.

“I’m talking about the girl. You could have
told me she was twelve.” I quickly pulled back the envelope.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I
yelled.

“Listen…we smoked some crack and the mom
pretty much threw her at me. What the fuck was I suppose to do?” he
explained.

“What part of spook her did you not
understand YOU FUCK! I wanted her out of the house not fucking
traumatized,” I screamed.

“I did what you told me to do! Blame the
fucking mother; she didn’t give a shit what I did as long as she
was getting paid.”

“So you decided to rape a FUCKING
CHILD?!”

He stood up. “Fuck you, lady. Get off your
goddamn high horse; you’re the reason I was even there. Whatever
happened to her, it’s on you. I did my job because you put me
there; let’s get that fucking straight. You are no better than me.
Just because you make your orders behind some fancy desk doesn’t
make you any less of a villain. Now give me my fucking money.”

I grabbed the envelope and walked around my
desk to stand in front of him. I shoved the envelope in his chest
and then I spit in his face. “You have one minute to get the fuck
out of my house or I’m calling the cops.” He grinned, showing his
disgusting yellowed teeth, and walked out of my office, not
bothering to even wipe his face.

I stood there in shock not being able to
move, I couldn’t believe what I had done. I couldn’t even argue
with him because everything he said was true. Even if she had been
sixteen like I had originally thought, it wouldn't have made it any
better. But the fact that she was only twelve made it so much
worse. She was just a baby, no matter what kind of life her mother
put her through. Hearing that her mom was fine with what he had
done, made me even angrier. I should have just taken her when I was
there and she was in front of me.

I felt violently sick. Over the years I had
felt many emotions, most of them foreign to me...this one was no
different. I had never felt so guilty or distraught before. And the
feelings were quickly rising in my chest. I leaned over and emptied
my stomach in the wastebasket next to my desk. I washed my mouth
out with some Tequila I had in my office. I wanted to go get her,
but I knew I couldn't. I just had to wait for her to come to me.
And I was going to make sure that happened.