The Madam (11 page)

I immediately put my hand over my mouth.
“What the fuck?! What are you doing?” I shouted through my
fingers.

She smiled. “Whatever the fuck I want. Now
it’s your turn.”

I shook my head back and forth.

She raised her eyebrow. “Let me make sure I
understand. Anderson decided that he was going to get fist happy
with MY property, and you don’t bat an eye. Now, I take care of
what is mine. I did my part, Lilith. Now it’s your turn. I mean,
unless you’d like to play Russian roulette with me.”

“Madam-”

“Don’t Madam me anything. Men like Anderson
need to be put in their places. They don’t understand that MY pussy
will always be smarter than their cocks.”

“He could report this. I mean, what are you
doing? You could jeopardize everything,” I tried to explain in the
calmest manner I could muster.

She threw her head back and laughed. “By
whom? Lilith, I have politicians, detectives, the motherfucking
D.A, and Chief of Police on my speed dial. Just because they wear a
badge, darling, doesn’t mean they don’t like to get dirty. Learn
something now; keep your friends close, and your enemies much
closer.”

“I can’t-”

“You repeat that word one more time, I will
turn this gun on you. What have I taught you, Lilith? You. Do. Not.
Show. Weakness. Ever!” she yelled.

“What do you think? Huh? That pretty face of
yours will run my empire. I am showing you the way, Lilith. Now,
follow the fucking yellow brick road toward me and take your pick;
gun or knife?”

I stared back at the face that would one day
be me. Could I do this? Could I protect what’s mine…I took one look
at Anderson as he pissed himself in the chair. I thought back on
the way he ripped my dress, how he bit me until I bled, how even
days later, I could still feel his fingers around my neck. That
every time I said “no” and “stop”, he would thrust harder to the
point where I felt like he was ripping me open. But most of all, I
thought about the look on his face when he was about to come, and
for it to happen, he had to punch me in the face.

I thought back on how many women he had done
this to, how many more times would he do it. What if next time he
kills one of them and I had the chance to stop it?

To make it all go away.

To make him go away.

I vindictively smiled and walked over to
Madam. I grabbed the gun and she smiled proudly, her eyes were
gleaming with anticipation. I slowly strolled over to Anderson, who
was screaming into the mask of tape and thrashing around in his
chair, trying to get loose. I raised the gun and pointed it to his
head, his eyes widened in fear. I moved the pistol to his forehead
and placed my finger on the trigger, pulling it toward me.

Then I heard it click. I pulled again and
again…
click, click, click.

Madam’s clapping broke me away from my
thoughts.

“You do have it in you,” she said, smiling
proudly at me. “Good to know.” She grabbed the gun from my hands
and brought it down to his temple, knocking him out.

“Get him the fuck out of my office,” she said
to the guards.

She placed the gun in her safe, along with
the knife, before turning to me.

“It’s game over, Lilith. You win. Don’t ever
let me find out that I have to clean up your mess. You want to be
Queen Bee? Don’t ever take shit from anyone. I don’t give a flying
fuck who they think they are. Understood?” I nodded.

“Good, now get the fuck out of my
office.”

Time went on and I continued to hear I love
yous, marry mes, and let me take you away from it all. But like
anything, the first time is always the best and most memorable.

Remington Cooper was the rock star of the
eighties. He had the ego of well, a rock star, and the cock of a
God. He was known for doing an incredible amount of drugs, and had
been to rehab a couple of times. Like any artist, he was
exceptionally talented and had a dark soul.

Remington was 6’1, had jet black hair,
tattoos and piercings all over his body, hazel eyes that always
wore more black eye liner than I ever did. He dressed in ripped
clothing and his net worth was $30 million; he was only twenty-five
years old. I met him at Club 54 and was his for the next week
straight; drugs, sex, and rock roll baby.

This was the sixth or seventh time that I was
his companion. He always requested me when he was on the road; I
would stay with him days at a time.

“Damn, you’re fucking gorgeous,” Remington
grunted as he finished snorting the line of coke off my ass.

“Remy…” I retorted, trying to get up to go to
the shower.

“Don’t call me that. I didn’t say you could
get up either,” he urged.

“You’re my muse, you know that, Lilith?” he
whispered, kissing me all over my face.

“Mmm hmm…” I replied, soaking up all the
attention.

“I love you, you know that, right?” he
confessed; it wasn’t the first time I heard it and it wouldn’t be
the last.

“Mmm hmm…”

He looked deep into my eyes. “Marry me.”

I laughed. “Remy, you’re fucked up. You have
no idea what you’re saying.”

“I don’t give a fuck. I know right now you’re
mine and I want to keep you that way. Marry me.” He was practically
begging, annoying the fuck out of me.

Marriage has always been a huge question mark
for me. I don’t care enough to go into it; obviously, I think it’s
a load of garbage. People get married because they’re lonely, they
think they’re supposed to, they don’t want to die alone…the list
goes on. Don’t think for one second that I’m cynical, or I’m
bitter, I’m a realist.

I probably didn’t pick the right time to
laugh in Remington’s face, but I did.

“Are you fucking laughing at me?” he shouted,
getting close to my face. I pushed at his chest to get him off.

“You need a serious reality check! You may
need to go to rehab again because you’ve lost your goddamn mind. Do
you honestly think I’m going to say yes?” I yelled, trying to find
my clothes.

He forcefully grabbed my upper arm and my
first reaction was to punch him in the face, making him stagger
back.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on me,” I
angrily stated.

He shook his head. “You stupid cunt. Do you
honestly think you’re better than me? Well…you better get off your
pedestal, Barbie, because you’re a fucking whore. I have a true
talent, while yours is in between your legs.”

I seductively walked over to him and started
to trace the outline of his dick with my fingers, instantly making
him hard. “And it always makes you come back for more, darling.” I
grabbed a hold of his shaft and lightly moved up and down. “Doesn’t
it?”

He moaned in my ear. “Go fuck yourself,
Remy,” I stated in his.

He pulled my hair at the nook of my neck and
licked my lips.

“I’d much rather fuck you,” he proclaimed as
he threw me on the bed.

Why be tied down with a ring on my finger,
when I can be tied up with a dick in my pussy? To me, the choice is
obvious.

I snuck out the next morning, making sure to
have the pictures that I needed. See, Remy also had a wife. Oh! Did
I not mention that part?

I mailed a few pictures of our escapades to
Rolling Stone, and let’s just say, his wife took him for half.

Lesson learned, Remington Cooper.

Don’t fuck with me.

After I turned eighteen my father was pretty
much non-existent, I knew it was because he didn’t agree with my
life choices. My father had been an active member of VIP since
before I was born…can we say hypocrite? Nevertheless, anytime he
wanted to meet with me I would make time in my schedule for him. He
was the only “man” in my life.

We ate lunch at a café on South Beach.

“How are things going?” he asked with
trepidation in his voice.

“Things are amazing,” I answered with none in
mine.

“Is your mother looking out for you?”

“My Madam always does. You should know that.
I’m sure she’s looked out for you too, given your life choices,” I
challenged, staring him in the eyes.

“Lilith-”

“Save it. I know you have always preferred
your other children over me. It’s blatantly obvious, it always has
been. So let’s not play the doting concerned father, it’s a waste
of both our time. Don’t you think?”

“Vivian has always been adamant about the
specific role I would play in your life. It was established before
I decided to give her what she wanted. It doesn’t change the fact
that I am your father; I do love you, and I worry every day about
what she has you doing.”

“First off, I’m not a child. I’m twenty-three
years old. Second, she doesn’t make me do anything. I love doing
what I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And lastly, you
should worry about what you’re doing every day…daddy,” I argued
with a satisfied smile.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you,
Lilith. If I could take it all back I would, but I can’t. I was
young and stupid, and regardless of what you think, your mother and
I did share something special.”

Now that caught me off guard. “What do you
mean?”

“We loved each other, Lilith. I loved your
mother very much,” he declared almost knocking me out of my
chair.

“That’s a load of bullshit; don’t you think
I’m too old for fairytales?”

He looked stunned. “She’s never told
you?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I
aggressively questioned.

“Jesus…Vivian and I were high school
sweethearts. We were married for three years before-”

“You’re lying!” I shouted, standing up and
knocking my chair over.

He grabbed my wrist. “Sit and calm down. Why
would I lie to you? I have nothing to gain from lying.”

I sat back down with caution.

“Vivian always knew she was going to be a
VIP, she knew she would take over it eventually. At first, it was
phenomenal; I loved being a part of the lifestyle, Lilith. Your
mother is gorgeous, she always has been. But after a while I could
only take so much; the parties, the other clients, the drugs, it
all got to me. I woke up one morning and I couldn’t live like that
anymore. I felt as if I was losing my soul, and I begged your
mother to give it all up,” he explained as if he was reliving it
all over again.

“By the time I finally said something it was
too late. Your mother was in deep. She fell in love with the power
and there was nothing left for me. She filed for divorce the day
after I gave her an ultimatum. We didn’t talk for several years.
After about ten years we ran into each other and she just sucked me
back in. I was married with kids and I didn’t care. I’ve always
wanted your mother, I still do. She has this hold on me like she
has with everyone. She gets off on it.” He paused to take a
breath.

“I agreed to give her a child, praying, and
hoping that it would somehow change her. That she would take one
look at you and be the person that I once knew, but it backfired.
She became worse. I swear to you that if I had known that this
would have been your future…I would have never gone through with
it.”

He sighed. “She used me, Lilith, just like
she uses everyone.”

I stared at him, wanting to know more. I
needed to know more.

“What kills me the most is that every time I
see you, you look more and more like her. It breaks my heart and
that’s why I have stayed away from you these last few years. My
worst nightmare is that you will become her spitting image, or
worse. Power and control is a very fascinating concept, it changes
people, and you’re in the heart of it all. There’s a very, very
fine line and once you cross it, there’s no turning back. Your
mother tasted it and she wanted more, she still does. I have to
live with the fact that I was a part of creating you, and now I
just have to stand back and watch until you step into the very
shoes that she did.” He pulled out his wallet and slapped a few
bills on the table.

“I love you. I wish I had done right by you.
I can’t change the past any more than I can the future.” He sighed,
kissed my forehead, and left.

“Oh, here, this is for you,” said the
waitress, pulling me from the twilight zone I was in. She handed me
a photograph. I knew where it came from. There was only one person
who would have had this, and it made my day so much brighter.

After my father dropped the fucking atomic
bomb that destroyed Hiroshima in my lap, I went straight to the
source. I ran on pure adrenaline and emotion. I didn’t take five
minutes to contemplate what I had just heard. I got in my car and
drove to The Cathouse.

She looked up when I barged into her
office.

“Let me call you back,” she said into the
phone. “Can I help you?”

“I had lunch with Dad today,” I announced as
I walked toward the window to look at the courtyard. I purposely
kept my back to her, waiting for her response.

It was the same window that I had stood in
numerous times as a child, waiting for my mother to pay attention
to me; that was my life back then. My how things have changed.

“Oh really, it’s baffling that he would take
time out of his busy schedule to see you. How is good ole Charles?”
she inquired, feigning interest.

“Happy…married…in love…you know, how you use
to be.” I turned to look at her face that didn’t show any emotion
what so ever.

“You know,
Madam,
you should practice
what you preach sometime. It might make you a better person,
because from what I hear, you’re one selfish bitch. You should
probably work on that unless you’d like to have a seat next to
Satan. For some reason I think he probably already has it reserved
for you,” I announced.

“Wow, nothing to say. No quick clever
rebuttal? Is your mind slowing down in your old age, or is it that
you don’t remember the lies that you feed me. Or wait, is it that
you never planned on fucking telling me that you were once
married!”