The Madam (8 page)

I was fucking miserable. My pregnancy might
have been good to me, but I got fat, my back hurt all the time, I
couldn’t see my feet, and any food that smelled like grease made me
nauseous.

Now, here is where you need to pay close
attention to my story. On September 9, 1977, I went to bed with
horrible back pain, I didn’t sleep an ounce that night and when
morning came, I was screaming in pain. The nurses came rushing to
my aid.

“Shit…she’s bleeding. I think she’s going
into labor. Get the doctor STAT, we need to move her into the
delivery room,” the nurse demanded.

“Labor? I’m not due for another six weeks.
What’s going on?”

“She’s a minor we need to get her mother here
immediately,” she said, ignoring my question.

“What the fuck? Answer me! What is going on?”
I yelled.

“Honey, it’s all right. Everything is going
to be all right, just trust us to do our jobs. We are going to take
you into the delivery room; the baby is coming. But we have it
under control. What is your pain level from 1-10, 10 being the
worst.”

“Ahh! I don’t know? A fucking 12!”

They moved me onto a stretcher and rushed me
into the delivery room.

It felt as though hours had gone by. “I need
fucking drugs! Get me the fucking drugs. What the fuck are you
waiting for?”

“Honey, calm down,” the nurse said, grabbing
my hand.

“You calm the fuck down, is there a baby
trying to coming out of your pussy right now? Go fuck yourself and
get me the drugs! Oh my God I need drugs… please…”

“You’re too far along. We can’t give you
anything.” She brought a cold washcloth to my forehead.

My head jerked back and hit the pillow.
“Ahhh! Then what the fuck are you good for? It hurts so bad…it
hurts so fucking bad…”

I hadn’t realized the almighty doctor had
finally showed up until I felt his hands go up my vagina.

“She’s 9.5 centimeters dilated,” he announced
to the room. “You need to start pushing. I need you to push
hard.”

I started to push and I felt like I was being
ripped open, which I was.

“Ahhh! I can’t push…just have the baby stay
in my belly. I don’t care…I don’t care…” I yelled.

“Lilith, I need you to push. You can do this,
you need to push,” he urged.

The nurse held my hand the entire time; I
leaned forward and pushed with everything I had.

“Fuck. The baby is pushing the placenta out
and it’s in pieces, it’s ripped. She’s losing a lot of blood.” He
told the nurses, “Check her vitals. Okay, Lilith, keep pushing. You
can’t stop pushing, we need to get this baby out quickly,
understand?”

I started to feel dizzy and the room started
spinning.

“The placenta is out; I see the baby’s head.
Stay with us, Lilith, you need to have one last final push,” the
doctor coached.

I pushed one last time and I heard a baby
whimper.

“It’s a girl. You have a girl,” the nurse
said.

“Wait, where are you taking her? I want to
see her! I want to see her!” I begged.

I started to shake and it was the last thing
I remember before I passed the fuck out.

My eyes began to flutter and I saw my
mother’s profile with the doctor facing her. The doctor said
something and she turned to look at me. She said one more thing to
the doctor and came over to me. I noticed it immediately, her face
was flushed and her make-up was smeared. I know she would deny it
till the day she died, but my mother had been crying.

“How do you feel, darling?” she asked,
grabbing my hand and kissing it.

“Sore and groggy,” I whispered with a dry
mouth. She grabbed the cup of water and brought the straw to my
lips. I drank the entire thing.

“Where’s the baby?” It was my very first
question.

“It’s being taken care of,” she said, placing
the cup on the counter and grabbing my hand again.

“I want to see her.”

She shook her head no. “That’s not a good
idea.”

“Mother….please. I want to see her.”

She sighed. I could see her battling
something internal.

“All right,” she conceded.

They brought over a wheelchair and we made
our way to the ICU unit.

I saw the tiniest baby I had ever seen in my
life. She was on all these machines that looked painful, but she
was sleeping.

“Is she going to be okay?”

“She’s in the best hands possible. She will
be fine,” she calmly stated.

I have no idea what happened next, but my
emotions got the best of me, and I broke down crying. I didn’t care
that “The Madam” was standing next to me. I felt my mother’s hand
on my back, soothing and comforting me. I cried for what felt like
hours, when finally my mother crouched down in front of me and
grabbed the sides of my face.

“Listen to me; I will only say this once.
Lilith Veronica Stone, none of this is your fault. The baby will be
fine and she will be adopted into a family that will love and
cherish her. You were meant for greater things. Children are not in
your future.”

“What?” I sobbed.

“They had to perform a hysterectomy and
remove your uterus, there was too much damage and bleeding. It was
the only way you would survive. They did what they had to do to
save you,” she explained and I immediately bawled my eyes out.

She placed her forehead on mine. “Do not let
this be the end of you. Do you understand me?” she whispered.

I nodded and let my tears flow. My mother
permitted me to cry that day. She held me the entire day and
comforted me the only way she knew how.

I cried for everything…

For my past…

For my present…

And most of all.

For my future…

Two weeks later and we were on a private
plane ride home. My mother insisted that I stay until I was 110%
better. Physically I was fine; emotionally I was a hot mess. The
doctors said it was perfectly normal to be hormonal and it would be
a few months before it would go away. I did the best I could with
holding it all in. My mother would permit weakness once, but never
twice; she didn’t have to tell me to know that.

After three months, my hormonal imbalance had
not changed, although, the painkillers helped. “The Madam” had
requested my presence in her office; I took two painkillers before
knocking on her door.

“Lilith, I have a treat for you. Would you
like to see it?” she goaded.

“Sure,” I replied. She pulled out a mock
invitation for my eighteenth birthday.

“The newest member of VIP, Lilith Veronica
Stone” read the first line.

“Coming out eighteenth birthday party” was
the second.

“It’s nice mother,” I replied, faking a
smile.

She roughly grabbed the invitation from my
hands and ripped it in half.

“This,” She stated, pointing at me with her
index finger and roared, “is fucking over.”

“I think I have permitted this to go on long
enough, don’t you think, Lilith?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking
about.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Oh
really…lie to me one more time, Lilith, and see what happens,” she
threatened in a mocking tone.

“What are you going to do, Madam? Sell my
first born…” I retorted; see, I had lost my shit.

She laughed, “Wow, Lilith…those painkillers
make you all big and bad, honey. Maybe I should get you a permanent
prescription. But first, we should probably try to remove the stick
that has been placed in your ass for the last three months,” she
teased.

“You want to go toe to toe with me, Lilith,
then bring it the fuck on. Say what you want to say.”

“All right, I’m going to be eighteen and a
VIP soon. I want a say, I’m not a little girl anymore and I’m over
you pulling the reigns. You’re done making decisions for me; it’s
something we discuss together from now on.”

She giggled; I had never heard her giggle
before.

“My, my, my…you think because the decisions
you’ve made have worked so well for you? Let’s see huh…you decide
to have sex, not only do you get paid chump change, you also get
knocked up. Oh, and we can’t forget good ole Julian, who at the
first chance he got threw you away like you were yesterday’s
garbage.” She paused to let her words sink in.

“But you want to know what really pisses me
off, is that he doesn’t fucking remember even being with you.
Darling, you’re never going to make it in this business if your
pussy is that forgettable,” she sadistically mocked.

I smirked. “Well you know what they say,
Madam, like mother like daughter.” I waited for the blow across the
face that never came. My mother threw her head back and laughed. I
mean laughed like she had gone mad.

“Lilith,” she said in between laughing. “How
refreshing…you really are my daughter and all it took was you
squirting out a kid. God, if I would have known that, I would have
put a bastard in you sooner. I mean Jesus…where the fuck has this
woman been hiding for the last seventeen years? I can honestly say
I’m so unbelievably proud.” She stated and clapped. “Bravo, encore,
let it all out for the cheap seats in the back.”

She wiped away the tears from laughing, “Oh…I
needed a good laugh. Feel better now?” she questioned.

It was now or never. If I could stand up to
my mother, I could stand up to anyone. I stood to stand right in
her face.

“I’m not fucking around. I will let you guide
and teach me, but you will NEVER make another decision for me. You
will not talk to me like a child, you will treat and respect me as
your equal. You are no longer My Mother; you’re My Madam. Are we
clear?”

She grinned. “Crystal.”

And thus my training began…

Six
months went flying by. Madam developed a whole regimen for me,
beginning with my diet and exercise. The baby weight flew off and I
didn’t have a mark on me, it was if I had never been pregnant and
it was all a dream. I put that memory where it needed to go, far
away in the back of my mind, where I wouldn’t think about it. I
programmed myself to pretend as if it never existed; it was all a
figment of my imagination. You wouldn’t believe what the human mind
could do if you tried hard enough.

I also watched an enormous amount of porn;
all kinds, male on male, female on female, threesomes, orgies, and
good ole fashioned one on one. I watched so much damn porn that I
was dreaming about it. Let’s just say that my hand grew tired over
those six months.

I met the other twelve VIPs; I was lucky
number thirteen. They were all drop dead gorgeous, some of them I
had met before and others I had never seen. They were all uniquely
different, but had one thing in common, VIP. They were welcoming
and assisted with my training as well. I attended parties, met
future prospects, and Madam explained the ins and outs of VIP and
how everything worked.

The VIPs taught me how to entice, flirt,
tease, and seduce. It was then that I realized how easy men were.
If given the chance, a woman could make any man cheat. Men fuck,
just like a VIP.

No remorse, no guilt, no regret.

On Tuesday June 6, 1978, I turned 18.

“Wake up, darling,” I heard Madam say. “Open
your beautiful bright blue eyes for me.”

I did. “What’s going on?” I questioned half
asleep.

“It’s midnight. You’re officially a VIP. Do
you feel it? The world is at your fingertips, it’s right there,
right in front of you. It’s your time, Lilith,” she vowed as she
lightly pressed her lips on mine before she left.

I rushed to my mirror and touched the skin on
my face.

I was a woman.

I was a VIP.

My coming out party was the following
Saturday, the theme was Masquerade. I wore a white lace corset that
came up to my ribs- my cleavage busting at the seams- a white
thong, a silver chain garter belt that held up white thigh highs,
and silver four-inch heels. My hair flowed loosely down my back and
I wore a glitter white mask that covered my eyes.

I watched myself in the mirror for a few
minutes, admiring the beauty that was I. I couldn’t remember a time
where I didn’t admire my mother’s VIPs, they were everything I
wanted to be, everything I knew I could be. The day had come and it
was my turn to shine, I had my moment in the stars, where everyone
would only look at me. I wasn’t scared or nervous, I felt
comfortable in my own velvety white skin. It was my night and I was
going to make sure that it was unforgettable.

I finished smoking a Lime Haze joint, Madam
had marijuana delivered from Amsterdam that afternoon; it was one
of my birthday presents. I also finished my celebratory glass of
champagne that Madam had brought me to toast. Keep in mind that the
legal drinking age in Florida in 1978 was eighteen.

Just another reason to go all out, right?

I took one last look at myself and made my
way downstairs. As soon as my foot stepped on the stairs, everyone
turned to look at me. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“I’d like everyone to give a warm, loving,
welcome to the newest member of VIP; it’s also her eighteenth
birthday. Let’s make it a night she won’t soon forget…shall we? On
the count of three, everyone sing happy birthday,” Madam stated in
the microphone.

I was at the last step when they finished
singing and there was a cake with eighteen candles waiting for me.
I blew them out and then I was pulled into hugs and kisses on the
mouth from everyone in attendance. I took the opportunity to look
around me and I had never seen anything like it before. There was
translucent lighting everywhere. Half naked women dancing on poles
that were set up in several places around the open room, food laid
on naked women and men, and waitresses walking topless with
g-strings. But everyone was wearing a mask, so I couldn’t see their
faces.