The Lost Blogs (9 page)

From:
http://www.lewisandclarkexpedition.com/~meriwetherlewis/

Subject:
Personal Web Journal, Entry #47

Let me ask you a question.

If you’ve been chosen to lead an expedition to the West Coast of the Americas by the President of the United States himself,
and you stick your neck out (and even He) so that a friend of yours with a much lower rank (i.e., Second Lieutenant) can co-lead
such an expedition, and you even go out of your way to refer to him as Captain even though he’s never even held the rank of
Captain… Don’t you think that if his whistling is getting on your nerves and you ask him to stop whistling even though the
Indians seem to like the whistling (which he’ll continue to tell you over and over and over again)… that he should stop the
whistling?

It’s not that I abhor whistling. Before the Corps of Discovery left Saint Charles, Missouri, for the West Coast, I often found
myself whistling in times of relaxation and thoughtfulness. But whistling the same song (
MP3 link here
), over and over and over again, over the course of five months, and giving such an invented song a title like “The Whistling
Walk” and insisting on learning how to translate that into a variety of native languages just so you can make sure they know
the name in their own tongues is, well, annoying.

And while I’m on the subject of whistling. I’d also like to ask you a second question. If you’ve been chosen by the Captain
of a high-profile exploration mission to the West Coast and he sticks out his neck for you and even refers to you as Captain
in front of all the other Privates on such an exploration, and one day you ask to borrow your friend/Captain’s rifle to kill
an animal… And during the process of killing such an animal you get dirt and gunk in the trigger… And your Captain/friend
asks you to clean out the trigger area so it doesn’t rust… And you tell him you will… And then you never do it… And you
get asked again every day for two months to clean out the trigger and you still don’t do it… Don’t you consider that to be,
well, wrong?

And don’t get me started on the coughing of one fellow Captain, who also loves to tell stories that have
no endings whatsoever
, tries to make leadership decisions and proclamations that are obviously not his own, expects that he should be the liaison
between President Jefferson and all Indians for the sole reason that he knows French (which doesn’t even have any bearing
on the situation) and that he should also get the most of a meal because he needs more energy, which will help him in his
leadership techniques when, in fact, he has no leadership techniques whatsoever.

I think that’s all I have to say today.

From:
http://www.lewisandclarkexpedition.com/~williamclark/

Subject:
Personal Web Journal, Entry #47

Things are going so great!

I can’t express how great things are going here in our exploration to the West Coast of the Americas. Really, being Captain
of the expedition has been both enlightening and exciting, since every single member of my team looks up to me as the ultimate
leader of this trip!

I have a story to share with all our readers, which I think will be extremely telling and exciting to all of you who are keeping
up here on the
Corps of Discovery Weblogs
. Having met the Yankton Indians, our group decided to sit down with their governing council in an attempt to inform them
that this land, now, belonged to the United States. We were, as instructed, ready to offer such natives the protection and
trade agreements in exchange for the safety of the land when something very insane happened—

On a totally unrelated note, “The Whistling Walk” has now become the favorite whistle song of the entire company—and although
I seem to be the only one capable of fully whistling all thirty-two bars of the song over and over again without ever getting
tired, I can see that the expedition has benefited from such happy, high-spirited, musical accompaniment.

Really, there’s not much more I have to say! Things are going great and I’m having a great time and morale between Lewis and
myself couldn’t possibly be any better!

I’ll respond to questions whenever possible! Just be sure to
e-mail
all your questions to me. Meriwether really doesn’t have the time to deal with that. So, just be sure to send them to me.

From:
http://www.freud-blog.com

Subject:
Self-Analysis, Dream Evaluation #33

A curious dream awoke me this morning—one filled with images of death and destruction.

With my subconscious at the helm, the dream presented me with an image of myself as a child, standing atop a large cliff and
looking down at the unforgiving waters of the ocean. There I stood for some time. Staring out as the wind whipped violently
against my face. I was holding hands with someone, whose face was obscured by the blurred vision—most likely the result of
my subconscious not wanting to reveal who, as a child, I desired to be with in life and singularly in death.

Then, without warning, the body of my younger self went limp, letting go of the safe hand and falling and twisting out of
control to the murky waters below. Upon hitting the waters, however, I did not awaken as most would expect. Instead, a vision
of a dark underwater area became clear to me as a variety of faceless other children came into focus.

I awoke with a start upon seeing such faceless children, and can only imagine that these were the children of my youth that
I have forgotten—my subconscious trying to communicate with my conscious mind that my memory continues to erase images and
faces at an alarming pace.

Posted by S. Freud at 4:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

COMMENTS

Maybe you’re afraid of death and destruction.

Posted by: Anonymous | 4:15 AM

Maybe you didn’t notice the fact that I didn’t ask for observations or interpretations?

Posted by: S. Freud | 4:28 AM

Dreams about falling mean that you’re afraid of taking some kind of big step or making some big decision. Maybe you’re afraid
of something? Afraid that you can’t accomplish certain goals in life?

Posted by: Bernard | 7:01 AM

Perhaps you are a scared little bunny rabbit inside that body of yours, afraid that YOU will never live up to your own goals
and the only way in which you can make yourself feel more confident is to redirect your energy into convincing others that
they, themselves, are not reaching their goals. I say you do not know what you are talking about and should go spend more
time with your mother, if you get my gist.

Posted by: S. Freud | 8:21 AM

Can you hold your breath underwater? ’Cause maybe if you can’t that’s what your dream is telling you, that you’re afraid of
having to hold your breath underwater. I think that’s got to be it, I’m sure of it.

Posted by: Julianne F. | 9:23 AM

This dream is not about holding one’s breath underwater. Come back to this blog when you actually have real-world knowledge
to contribute!

Posted by: S. Freud | 9:41 AM

I heard that if you dream of faceless children you may be allergic to beets.

Posted by: Gil | 10:01 AM

Please, no more inane comments or observations.

Posted by: S. Freud | 10:21 AM

You have a lot of anger issues, don’t you?

Posted by: JD | 11:49 AM

**COMMENTS CLOSED**

From:
http://www.nostradamus.com/~blog/

Subject:
Predictions, About Tomorrow’s Blog Entry

Herein, I present to all of you (those who I expected would be here and who I predicted yesterday would arrive today) my predictions
for tomorrow’s blog posting in typical quatrains, or four-line poetic fashion.

Hundreds of words, flock to the page.

Invisible at first, then plain to the eye.

Sections, paragraphs and quatrains.

Thousands will come for predictions.

Tomorrow, of course, we shall see if the above prediction comes true (which we know it will). My vision of words appearing
on this page which were once invisible—and the thousands who will read such words… I believe there is no question that this
prediction is completely true.

Now, my predictions about the day after tomorrow’s blog post:

Letters will form words.

What was once there, will be replaced.

Sentences, phrases and poetry.

Thousands will come, once again, like lambs to the slaughter.

I believe that the above prediction will also come true (although you shall see when the day after tomorrow comes). I will
let the words speak for themselves.

I would also like to share with you a prediction I cast a mere seven days ago, in an attempt to answer correspondence and
a challenge from a loyal blog reader.
[email protected]
asked me to predict what I would be doing exactly seven days in the future. Here is what I wrote:

A question is asked.

An answer is given.

Seven days forward, all questions moot.

For Lamus will be revealed as true.

For those confounded with the meaning, I will spell it out as always. Ysidra’s question was asked seven days prior. And such
questions no longer matter seven days forward since the answer would be given. All this has come true as I am currently answering
the seven-day-old question and the question no longer matters. As for this name Lamus, it rhymes with Damus, which happens
to be the last part of my name—which must refer to me, Nostradamus, which in turn proves that I am true and honest in my predictions.

That is all for now! I will see you again tomorrow, as I have already predicted.

From:
http://www.benedict_arnold.us.gov/blog/

Subject:
Bene-DICT is Bene-DOOCED

When I started this blog during Christmas 1775, I expected it would bring great things to my life. Not what befell me on this
day.

I was called in to meet with the Continental Congress today—I had been all but promised a major generalship after all that
I have done for this country in these times of revolutionary war. I expected to be granted the official word when I arrived,
but was instead met with a different outcome.

It seems the Continental Congress does not approve of this blog. Of my personal thoughts about the war and how it’s being
handled. That I have recounted many stories about myself and my good friend
General George Washington
. Without even giving me a chance to remove this blog from circulation, they instead chose to deny me this position and any
other future positions because of my writing. Sure, they offered me a position to serve under General Horatio Gates—but it
is clearly an insult.

That the Continental Congress sees fit to deny a true leader a position such as this in a time where they need strong, dedicated
and intelligent commanders makes me question just exactly the intelligence of this government. That they should deny ME brings
me to the conclusion that my services are being substantially undervalued.

Perhaps there is some other group of individuals who might better appreciate my knowledge and the amount of intelligence I
currently possess. Perhaps that is the next step in my life. Perhaps.

Will I continue this blog now that I have been punished for writing it? Yes.

Will I continue this blog now that I have been reprimanded for it? Yes.

Will I continue to share my thoughts and insights into how many holes there currently are in the American military plan? Indeed,
I will.

While I try to shake this from my mind, please feel free to read previous entries such as:
How the British Could Beat the Americans. Pt 1 & 2
,
Boston’s Weakness by Sea
, and
If I Were a Prisoner of the British Monarchy. Here’s What I’d Tell Them
.

Good reading.

If anyone knows of other opportunities I might be interested in, please e-mail me.

From:
http://www.socrates.gr/blog/

Subject:
What Is a Subject?

What is a good subject?

What should I write here? What words would you want to see? What words could I place here that would keep you coming back
for more discourse? Do I have the courage or motivation to make such ideas a reality?

What knowledge do the answers to those questions give you? Do you know less than you knew before you read them? Do you, indeed,
know nothing about anything?

What should I write here?

Should I write something you want to read? Or, in fact, if I wrote something that you wanted to read, would you want to read
it any longer? If I wrote something that you didn’t want to read, would you want to read it more?

Are you still reading? Why are you still reading?

If you are reading to learn more, why do you want to learn more? And if you want to learn more simply to be more learned,
then why do you want to be more learned? Is this something that will give you virtue? Courage? What is virtue? What is courage?

Why am I asking you these questions?

Do you think I am asking you these questions to find the answers? Or am I asking these questions to find out what are not
the answers? Do you want to know the answers? If you do, why do you feel the need to know everything? And if you feel as though
knowing everything makes you complete, why do you feel the need to be complete?

Should this entry be complete? Or should it simply end without w—

Did you see what I did there? I pretended like I was going to end the post but I didn’t. How did that make you feel? Did you
feel as though you were cheated? Did that make you mad? If so. why did that make you mad? And if it made you mad because you
don’t like being cheated, why is that?