The Lonely (35 page)

He
grins at me and points his glove, "My turn."

I
laugh. I have a secret weapon he doesn’t know about. I look around for the only
face I really need to see. His icy-blue eyes meet mine from a doorway. He's
leaning with his arms crossed. He looks deadly sexy. I have to focus the blood
in my body. I force my eyes away from his. We've been hanging out like regular
people but it's been painful.

I
climb into the ring and start to hop around. I move my neck around and roll my
shoulders. Angelo is doing the same. I smirk at the boys all wearing their Lost
Boys t-shirts that Lance made for them. They're cheering, even Brandon, the
little shit.

Lance
steps in, "Clean fighting. No cheating. No biting. No kicking. No
kissing."

I
grin.

Angelo
holds a mitt up, "If you gotta kish me, I get it."

I
narrow my eyes and hold my mitts up. He knocks them with his. We step back and
get ready. Lance throws his arms down, "FIGHT!"

Angelo
comes hard and fast. Thankfully I can tell he's holding back, but if he hits me
it's gonna hurt. His right connects with my arm, but grazes off. He frowns. I
grin. He hits with the left, but I move and it grazes off again.

He's
confused and underestimating me. I take advantage of it and hit him in the jaw.
His head barely moves. He laughs and comes at me.

I
turtle as his shots connect. They still hurt, even though they glance off my
arms.

"Tink,
you got shomeshing you want to tell me about? Like a magical forshfield thatsh
prtotecting you?"

I
hit him with my pathetic swipes. He laughs. I attack harder, making his laugh
get louder.

He
swings at me, connecting with my face. I fall back. Luckily, it too glances
off.

"TINK!"
He jumps and grabs me. I'm laughing now instead of him. I rub my glove against
my face. His gloves drop. He looks scared, "Can we be done now? I didn’t
even hit that hard and my shots aren’t connecting, but this is stressing me
out."

I
laugh and nod. The cocky bastard is gone and replaced by this pussycat. He
looks at my face and frowns. He looks at his glove and shakes his head,
"Cheater, cheater."

I
laugh. I'm sure I have a very glittery face.

He
looks at Shell, who waves at him holding the bottle of glitter body oil.

He
holds up his sparkly gloves, "How did I mish thish?"

Lyle
and Jake are there beside me, lifting me up. Protective isn’t the right way to
describe them. They moved to Boston the week after my birthday and we had
planned family outings every second day until they finally got us to agree to
move in with them. They even joined my boxing club. They're out of control. But
I like it.

"You
okay?" Lyle asks and glares at Angelo. Jake pulls off my gloves. I drop
the guard into my hand and grimace. Lyle makes the same face. He has a thing
with germs. It warms my heart.

I
look around the gym for Eli, but he isn’t there. He's gone.

"We
have to leave for Easter. You ready?" Lyle asks. I nod.

"Is
Eli coming?" Jake looks around the gym.

"Not
sure." I say.

Jake
looks worried, "You guys are cool still right?"

I
blush, "Yup."

Lance
comes up smirking, "You went down like a sack of potatoes Tink. We gotta
work on your ducking."

Brandon
scoffs, "She lasted ten times longer than I thought she would and she hit
him." I glance at Angelo and wink. He laughs.

"Race
when I get back?"

He
nods, "Then we start working on that plan of yours."

I
smile, "Thanks Angelo."

He
nods at me, "Get that girl to call me again. She's not returning any of my
texts."

I
look at Shell, talking to the Lost Boys and shake my head, "She's off the
market dude."

"Bummer.
Have a good Easter Tink."

"You
too."

I
get cleaned up, staring at my phone the entire time. I miss him, even if I
asked for it.

We
leave the gym. Stuart is standing at the SUV looking at his watch, "Come
on!" He's waving his arms, motioning for us to get in. He drives like a
madman.

"We're
gonna miss him if we don’t hurry."

I
lean over the seat between him and Jake, "What?"

Stuart
glances at me, "Seatbelt."

I
growl, "Where is he going? Is he coming with us?"

He
shakes his head and gulps.

I
sit back and look at Shell. She looks upset. She knows and hasn’t told me. My
stomach is in a ball. He's leaving for somewhere without me? I've made a
mistake. I was trying to be stronger than I am. He's leaving me. He's choosing
survival over me. Like I did.

Stuart
pulls up to the departures, "We'll get your shit, just run." I leap
over Lyle and run into the airport.

I
pull my phone out and text while I run.

'Where
r u?'

I
run faster until I get to the check-in area and I'm not sure which way to go. I
am standing looking at the departure gates screen when my phone vibrates.

'Please
text like an adult. R U? Really?"

I
start to laugh.

'Look
behind you.'

I
turn and smile. He's standing against the pillar with the posters of the
missing kids. It's weird and delightful.

I
leap at him. His arms wrap around me, pulling me into him. I tilt my face up.
He kisses and holds me like we are paused.

I
melt into him.

"Where
are you going?" I ask against his mouth.

"To
live with some mean-ass nuns for a while."

I
laugh into his face and cry, "A year?"

He
kisses my forehead and grins, "You said it was what I needed. I don’t
think it'll be a year. A few months though. I can't take too long from
work."

I
pull back and look at him, "I didn’t think you'd take me seriously."

He
arches a dark eyebrow, "I take everything you say seriously. Well, when
you speak like adult."

I
bite my lip. I'm panicking inside, "Are you calling my bluff? I don’t want
you to go. I want to come or you to stay."

He
laughs and grabs my hands, "Sarah, I need this. I need to see with the
perspective you have. There are people who have it worse and I need to be
grateful for what I have. You were right. My environment wasn't a great way to
grow up after everything else."

"Where
are you going?"

"South
America."

I
laugh, "Armani in South America?"

He
laughs and squeezes me, "I went to a strange store called Cabela and
bought all the beige and khaki I could find."

I
laugh and rest my head against his chest again. "What if we lose each
other?"

He
kisses the top of my head, "I will always find you."

I
smile and close my eyes and make myself feel everything about the moment. I'm
going to need it.

"I
never imagined you would take my advice. I'm twenty. What do I know?"

He
pulls back my face, "A lot. Now, stay close to your brothers and please
for the love of god, don’t go out without them. Stay in Boston or Chicago with
family and friends. Keep training with Angelo and don’t let him kiss you, he'll
suck your whole damned face in." I make a face. He laughs, "I knew a
girl who dated him."

"I'm
going to miss you." The tears are there before I can stop them.

He
brushes them away, "I need this. I need to stop myself from obsessing
where you are at every moment. I need to trust you."

I
shake my head, "You don’t have anything to prove. You don’t need to be a
hero there. You are my hero already. You can learn to trust me here. I'm fine I
swear."

He
shakes his head, "I'm not. You were right."

I
hate being right. I hate this moment. I hate that I see he needs this.

He
cocks an eyebrow, "Behave yourself and I expect Facetime dates
frequently." He chooses to ignore my hero comment. "They're going to
call my flight and I haven’t even gotten through security."

I
grip him. "Don’t leave me."

He
kisses my lips, "Never again. This isn’t me leaving you. This is me
choosing you." He throws my words back at me.

He
kisses me once more and then pushes of. He leaves and doesn’t look back. I
fight the urge to run after him.

I
grip my phone and watch him until I can't see him anymore. Then I send a text,
'I'm
grateful for you.'

I
hear footsteps and turn to see the rest of them have caught up to me. Shell
grips my shoulders, "You okay?"

I
slump and shake my head. "My heart just left for South America."

Lyle
and Jake join the hug. I'm squished in amongst them all. It's not enough but
it's more than I could have ever asked for.

Jake
grips my arm, "You can be sad on the plane. Come on, time to go."

We
fly home. I'm heartbroken and excited simultaneously.

Home.

It's
a weird word for me. I have not seen the house since I left it to go to the hospital.
Apparently I was wearing pink pajamas and clutching a bear with a pink ribbon.
The bear was my favorite toy.

Dad
is at the airport when we get there. He hugs me hard, like he's going to break
my back.

We
leave for the car, hugging and sniffling. That’s apparently my family's thing.
We cry and hug a lot. But the sweetness of it is better than anything I've ever
experienced.

Chicago
is amazing. We…yes we…I have a we…we live on the outskirts in a suburb. I look
around, nervously, as we drive into a community. He drives the rented minivan
up a street that takes my breath away.

"You
sure we have enough room at the house?" I ask.

Dad
nods, "Plenty of room."

We
drive onto a neighborhood like I have never seen before. It's like out of a movie.
The houses are massive, not mansions, but huge. Each one has a private driveway
and a huge yard. We pull into one with bricks and bushes and windows with the
white shutters I always dreamt of.

I
wish he were with me to see it. Seeing it is like seeing the finish line in a
race I was certain would kill me.

She
is at the front door smiling, looking like a mom. She has a sweater on with the
ruffled edges of a blouse sticking out the top. My face splits into a smile
when I see her. Her blonde hair shines in the brightness of the spring day. It
glistens.

We
get out of the van with stretches and nudges. Jake shoves me and Lyle shoves
him. I grin at them both and wish I could have known them when we were little.
Not that it's too late. It isn’t. It's just hard not to daydream about how
fantastic it would have been to be wrestled and attacked, with love and
brotherly affection. Jake grabs my head and bends me forward. He grips my head
and gives me a fake backbreaker. I flip him the way Lance showed me. He's on
his back, laughing and shaking his head.

"You
know better than to give her an inch." Lyle crosses his arms.

They
both know better. They spar with me all the time. Not that I'm good, but I'm
better and I cheat.

We've
been play fighting for two months. It's been a good way to get to know each
other. Moving into a condo altogether last week was an even better way. Shell
and I jumped at the chance. No more communal showers or crappy kitchen. Plus it
stopped them from coming to the dorms every other minute. They're worse than
Eli when it comes to surveillance and protection. I seriously think some of the
other students think I'm protected by the Secret Service.

Mom
shouts, "Get in here you guys." The boys jump up and grab all our
bags. They don’t carry mine but they take Shell's.

I
stand there affronted by it, until Shell beams, "My brothers do the same
thing to me."

I
like that.

I
grab my bag but Dad grabs it and wraps an arm around me, "Welcome home,
Sarah."

"Thanks
Dad."

I
have sworn I won't cry. We've been talking everyday on Facetime and text, but I
think I will have that vow broken before Mom even gets a hug in.

I
climb the steps and a huge weights lift from my shoulders. Mom grabs me and
pulls me into her. The house smells like gingerbread and at the top of the
hardwood stairs I see a black and white cat.

My
mouth is hanging open.

"Kitty,
or as you referred to her, Titty, is fifteen in a couple months. She was tiny
when you…well she was tiny then," Dad says and looks at Mom I walk past
them and hold my hand out. The black and white cat rubs against my fingers. I
pick her up and smell her neck fur. She smells the same. I swear she does. She
purrs instantly and I grip her, probably too hard, but I can't help it.