The Language Inside (39 page)

I bristle

but Serey smiles, polite

and the couple goes away

then after a minute I say to her

you know, you can speak up

say something

when people say stupid stuff like that

she rolls her eyes

says
right

easy for you to say

and it’s hanging there between us

that I’m a white girl

one of the guys

calls out to her

and she jogs on ahead

while I slow

Samnang drops back

to walk with me

you okay?

fine
I say

lagging on purpose

but he slows, too

matches my pace

when the others are ahead

he takes my hand

gives it a shake

and says
hey

I look at him puzzled

stop walking

he’s still holding my hand

without thinking I say

Samnang, I don’t know what your
heys
mean

and I don’t know what this means

looking at my hand in his

he drops my hand

and I think I’ve blown it

with my only friend here in Massachusetts

by my big fat blathering mouth

he shrugs

we start walking again faster

so the others don’t keep looking back

as we head to the cars

before we catch up I say

I’m sorry

it’s been a hard week

and I just blurt stuff

when I speak English

no problem
he says

but take it easy

just have fun today, okay?

so I decide to do that

just have fun

he says
come on

and I follow his lead

and we run ahead

to unlock Chris’s car

I climb into the backseat

Serey is up front next to Samnang

with a girl named Kanya on her lap

squeezed in with me are Sovann, Nary and Paul

and the others all cram into a different car

everyone’s laughing

and finally I am, too

and Samnang drives slow

and super carefully

the short distance

to the restaurant

which is Cambodian

and I am in heaven

as we drink tea

and eat little lort noodles

and papaya salad

and soup which is like curry

that I pour on my rice

and the whole time

Samnang is sitting next to me

not Serey

and she doesn’t even seem to mind

before we leave

I take the restaurant’s card

and slide it into my wallet

later I will place it in the box

that Gramps made

as my first real American treasure

after we eat and I’ve had

like seven cups of tea

around six o’clock

just as Samnang promised

we leave

he drives around neighborhoods

dropping people off

finally Serey, too

then it’s just us in the car

quiet

as we drive out of Lowell

past the huge homes

of the former mill owners

Samnang says

sorry it’s a little late

you must be worried about your mom

yeah, a bit
I say

but in truth this whole evening

has been a vacation

from worrying about my mom

after a pause

I can’t help myself from asking

just to set things straight—

so

how long have you and Serey

been going out?

and I hold my breath

going out?
he says

we’re not

ex-girlfriend then?
I say

not really
he says

everyone in the dance troupe . . . 

we’re friends

like family, you know?

but I think back and say to him

that night your mom made dinner

at Chris and Beth’s

she said something about Serey

Samnang waves a hand dismissively

my mom thinks Serey and I are a couple

or a maybe couple

or a could-be couple

’cause I took her to the prom last year

and I’m thinking prom?

ex-girlfriend
wasn’t far off

well, are you?
I ask

a couple?