The Language Inside (35 page)

because apparently I fainted

and knocked over Toby

who whacked his head on the wall

and then I struggled and thrashed

and hit my dad, too

Toby’s whining

jeez, Emma!

the nurse is saying

keep the ice pack on

Dad is rubbing his jaw

where I smacked him

Mom is saying

I’m so sorry, honey!

and Gram is saying

well, I was right on this one—

this visit was not

a good idea

Mom comes home the next day

and is there propped up with pillows

on the bed in YiaYia’s study

when I get back from school

she’s not cheerful

she’s hurting

and I’m careful to be quiet

when I’m with her

I help Dad with the stuff I can do—

               get her water

               take her snacks

               adjust her pillows

but I stay far away

when the visiting nurse comes

and they’re dealing with

                         the dressings

                         and that drain thing

I go out for a run

hoping that if I run each day

sleep eight hours each night

eat on a regular schedule

I can fend off the migraine

that’s just waiting to sock me

after all this stress

as I run, my mind wanders

               stuff I recall

               stuff I have to do

and about halfway through the run

I suddenly remember

Halloween is Monday

which is

               
before

my next visit with Zena

and I promised I’d help

with her costume

so all through the second half of my run

I’m wondering how on earth

I can create a mermaid costume

that will fit on someone

who can’t move

back at the house I ask YiaYia

who loves crafting

and right away has ideas

so after I shower

we leave Dad with Mom

and go to a mall

we buy a camisole with built-in bra

then at a fabric store pick up

odds and ends from sale bins

and a couple yards

of shiny purple satin

on Friday after school

we plan it out

and on Saturday

we get to work

for real

YiaYia’s amazing

she sits with me, guides me

at her sewing table

which used to be in the den

but is now upstairs squeezed

into her bedroom

we cut the back of the camisole off

refinish the sides

sew shell shapes

over the boobs

then use our newspaper pattern

to fashion a mermaid body

and tail in purple

I try it on YiaYia

who holds her arms folded tight like wings

and keeps her legs immobile as she sits on a chair

I place the camisole top over her front

then drape the purple bottom over her lap

Velcro it to the tank

and arrange the tail

to cover her feet

when Mom wakes up

we seat YiaYia in the chair

beside Mom’s bed in the study

and show Mom what we’ve made

nice!
she says

but you need something

for her hair

YiaYia and I look at each other

go back upstairs to the sewing machine

and create a shell of shiny purple fabric

to glue onto a barrette

Saturday night I Skype-call Madoka

from Mom’s computer in my bedroom

and Madoka’s voice is as clear

as if I’m two doors away

I tell her about Mom’s surgery

and ask if she can video-Skype

but she says she can’t now because of

extra band sessions and practice

for her private sax lessons

but she’ll figure out a good time soon

I tell Madoka about fainting in the hospital

and Zena and the mermaid costume

and I’m laughing and it feels so good

to speak Japanese again

even rushed and brief like this

but then Madoka interrupts