The Irresistible Bundle (127 page)

"So do we have a deal" Nicholas extends his hand waiting for me to shake it. Quite frankly he could pay me minimum wage, as long as he guarantees me housing and paying for the remainder of my education.

"As long as the numbers agree we've got a deal" I shake his hand trying to remain professional for this brief moment in time. The moment he gives me his panty-dropping smile I launch myself at him. Luckily Nicholas has lightning-fast reflexes and catches me before I knock both of us down. I shamelessly smother him with kisses while squealing my thanks. Okay so I lost all professional decorum but there's no stopping my overwhelming giddiness. Valentino's my anchor but Nicholas just became my lifejacket.

CONFESSIONS

~ DESIRAE ~

I hate my father. There's no room for anything else. He doesn't care about what happens to me. He's seen the bruises. He blames me for them; not the grown-ass men who give them to me. The only thing he cares about is what he gets out of this. And today is no different. I shouldn't be surprised. I wasn't allowed to stay home. Piper's dead and I have to go to school and act like nothing happened. I don't get to mourn her. I've been instructed not to talk with the guidance counselor. I have no one left.

"Miss Desirae" the driver shifts side-to-side impatient with me. I want to be considerate to him but I can't. He works for the bastard taking me out of school early. He works for a man who's a monster and doesn't even try to hide it. I have yet to see someone stand up to him.

Fucking hell. The school didn't even blink when Father called. They merely whisked me away to the tinted Towne Car waiting by the main office. No one physically signed me out. No one checked to see if I was being taken away by strangers. They didn't fucking care. Father called. Father made demands. Father got what he wanted.

Piper's bloody body haunts me, day and night. No amount of makeup can hide the dark circles under my eyes. The driver opens the door prompting me to get my ass moving. I slide into the leather seat not a moment too soon. The door slams shut. I'm engulfed in darkness. A hand grasps my throat and squeezes. The interior lights are off and the windows are so dark that I can't see anything but the silhouette next to me. He doesn't have to say a word to identify himself. I already know who it is. His hand squeezes making it impossible to breathe normally. My heart races knowing his silent proximity in the middle of the day is a very bad thing.

"I give your father the fucking world" he snarls. He manages somehow to squeeze my airway while digging his short, sharp nails into my skin, "In exchange for you."

Colorful dots sprinkle my vision. I resist the urge to claw at my throat; it'll only make things worse. In moments one of two things will happen: he'll let go and brutally punish me or I'll pass out and he'll still brutally punish me. Yay me...

"Yet you can't manage to adhere to my simple rules" he rips my t-shirt with his free hand flinging it away. My bra disappears just as quickly. "Rule one" he barks. That bastard hand of his grips my left tit twisting with all his might. I miss his pointless repetition of rules since I've heard them for years. I give into the darkness not wanting to remember what happens to me. Instead of mourning Piper, I'm actually envious. At least she's no longer in hell.

~

"It's okay" her voice whispers as she snuggles against my cold body. The voice is familiar but I don't know if it's Piper's or Carina's. The dark memories refuse to release their grip from me. My hands claw at my throat trying to rid myself of the awful memory. I'd missed a week of school after that 'lesson'. Everyone thought I wasn't coping well with Piper's death when in fact it was so much worse.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks. I should. Maybe talking to someone who isn't a stuck-up doctor might free me of this hell but I can't find my voice. Telling Valentino and Nicholas about particular pieces was hard enough. I haven't missed how overprotective they've become.

"No" I croak. Carina doesn't care that my entire being is screaming to stay the hell away. She wraps her arms around me and squeezes. It's only then that I realize I'm trembling like a fucking Chihuahua during a thunderstorm. I mean really, it was only a dream; I've got to get my shit together. Open Pandora's Box and the bitch will do anything to keep it that way.

"Who's Piper" she doesn't get the fucking hint does she? I'm really glad it's dark because then I can't look at her when she gets angry and frustrated with me. I bolt out of bed as far away from her as possible.

"She's none of your fucking business" I snap. I wrack my brain trying to remember if I told Valentino or Nicholas about Piper. Those fuckers are nosy enough to dig until they find something worthwhile. My hands ball into fists ready to punch the wall or throw something; anything other than talking about Piper.

"Des, I'm not Piper" Carina softly states. My knees buckle at her words. I'm so fucking lost. Carina isn't Piper but she is too.

"Maybe not but you almost died" I sob. "Just like she's dead" I garble. It doesn't make sense to her but I can't articulate through the barrage of emotions and memories assaulting me right now. Piper died because she was my only friend. She died thinking she had no one in this world that could relate to what happened to her. If she'd known that I was the reason she'd lost her innocence she would've hated me. And I would've welcomed her hatred, as long as it meant that she was still alive...

"I'm sorry about Piper" Carina whispers as she pulls me into her. She's my best friend but I've kept my distance; to protect her from the things that still haunt me, to prevent her from knowing the real me. "You know you're stuck with me forever. I'm the jock itch to your junk."

I snort unsuccessfully able to remain serious. Where the hell does she get this shit? Oh yeah, from me; cause that's exactly the kind of shit I would've said to break the tension. Her arms remain tight around my waist. I'm a little slow tonight; it's taken me this long to realize that she's in my room. Was I really that loud?

"I can take off my clothes and remind you of what I do and don't have" I saucily reply. It's easier to stay off topic.

"No thanks" she quips. "I've seen it plenty of times. I didn't think being the yeast to your va-jay-jay was as cool sounding."

I scrunch my nose knowing that although she can't see it she can feel it. "That's just gross" I retort, cause it is. I can't help but now see cottage cheese coated panties.

Carina sits up pulling me next to her. We're still on the floor. It feels safer down here. I can see the monsters lurking in the corners and under the bed from this vantage point. A heavy sigh fills the otherwise silent room. Apparently we're going to have a talk. Woo-hoo.

"I don't break easily" she states into the darkness.

"But you're not infallible" I quietly reply.

"None of us are" she bumps my shoulder. I know she means me too. "But what happened to me had nothing to do with you. Pete's just a fucking coward and a prick."

"Actually he's a giant pussy" I interject.

"And a little bitch" she chuckles.

"I bet his dick is the size of a raisin" I offer. That has Carina snorting. "And he has little wiggly marbles for balls."

"I'm sure they're hairy as fuck too." She giggles. It's so good to hear her laughing. She doesn't do it as frequently. But all too soon she ruins the moment. "I think it's time" she whispers once we both quiet down. I know what's she asking but I'm not giving it to her so easily.

"Tell me about Piper..." She leaves the sentence hanging, not asking or demanding. The ball's in my court.

"If I tell you about Piper I have to give you the back story" I glumly admit. As much as I want to give her a sliver I can't give her everything. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to do that."

"Give me what you can" she coaxes. That's the beautiful thing about Carina. She pushes and challenges everyone she cares about but she also understands their limits. She knows when to give and take. Plenty of spiteful bitches don't make an effort to get to know her. They immediately judge her based on her sexual history; never giving her the time of day. Honestly I love that those insecure wenches don't bother to get to know us. I don't give a shit if half the campus thinks we're sluts. As long as they don't chummy up to Andrea and Carina it's all good. They're mine and that's one thing in my life I don't like sharing with too many people.

Carina and Andrea are precious gems. They're rare, priceless. I know what I have with them and I can't risk losing either one of them. It may be completely selfish of me to keep them even though by association alone I risk too much but I can't let them go. I can't walk away from this group. They keep me tethered. I'm grounded. Sane.

"I didn't have many friends by the time I hit puberty" I begin. It's the easiest and safest way to get to things. Carina deserves to know a part of my story but I can't give her all of it. "I was the curvy girl while they were all still rail thin and flat-chested. Some of the girls hated me because of the attention guys gave me. Others just called me freckled and fat. Either way I didn't have to do anything to get the girls hating me.

"High school started off ugly but eventually I made a friend." I pause watching Carina mouth Piper's name. It hurts to hear her name spoken aloud but it also feels wonderful. I've denied myself the good memories in exchange to keep away the bad ones... That isn't fair to Piper.

"Piper was the balm in my chaotic world. She loved so freely, so openly... I'd never seen that; never had that." I swallow the jagged rock in my throat. Even speaking about her in the darkness is hard. "Piper and I didn't mess with the boys in our school. They were too immature. Too everything... She and I were okay with being single; being there for only each other."

I sit up not being able to finish the story while touching her. It's hard getting air in and out of my lungs but somehow I manage. "I was involved with someone during that time. He wasn't a good person." Carina reaches out touching my thigh. I flinch not wanting the contact but push on. "He demanded a lot of me including devoting all of my time to him and him only."

"What about your parents?" Carina quietly asks. She knows we aren't on good terms but she doesn't realize how far back things go.

"My father was the one who introduced me to the bastard" I growl unable to hide my disdain. "He encouraged every interaction, gaining things from me being with that monster."

Carina's shallow breaths echo in the silent room. She thinks she knows where this story's going but she has no fucking clue. "Piper was secretly seeing someone. She wouldn't tell me who it was; said it was too fresh, too new. She didn't want to jinx it. I thought she'd fallen head over heels over some college guy. It hurt that she wouldn't confide in me about him but I gave her space. I had my secrets so I let her have hers."

A soft light burns my irises. Dammit I don't want to tell this story in the light. Carina sits facing me, touching knees to knees. I teeter towards and away from her. I want to push her away; it'd be so easy. Keep my nightmares to myself. But Carina's penetrated my armor. She's found the chinks and slipped through. I want to share things with her that I never wanted another soul to know. I want Carina to love me; the pretty and ugly things about me. I don't ever expect a man to love me that way; unconditionally. But she can. She will.

"But our secrets became her downfall" my voice cracks and I welcome it. Piper deserves my tears, my sorrow. "The guy she was secretly seeing was actually the same man I was involved with."

"Oh God" Carina whispers; horrified. She should be.

"As close as Piper and I were, we weren't alike in many ways. She was weak where I was strong. We both lost our innocence at the hands of a monster but she never got over it. In a matter of a few short weeks I lost my best friend. She took her life and he reminded me of why it happened every day afterwards."

Carina's tears unravel me. I'd held it together for so many years, never allowing anyone to glimpse the pain and suffering I'd endured at the hands of Mr. Pearce. In one sob I fall completely apart.

The years of hurt and loneliness pour out of me in wracking sobs. For so long I remained stoic, cold, and unaffected by everything those bastards did to me. But it wasn't because it hadn't affected me; on the contrary it ate away at me. Their greed and callousness shaped me.

Carina cries with me. She doesn't try to be the stronger one. She doesn't shun or push me away. She holds me tightly as we both cry for things lost long ago.

I don't know how long we stay there. What I do know is that we're both a hot mess. Tears and snot run down our faces. She hiccups from crying so hard and I'm completely spent. Somehow we crawl back into bed curling into each other falling asleep. The emotional release makes me feel lighter but it exhausts me in the process. I welcome the darkness praying that Piper can finally rest in peace.

MISSING HER

~ DIEGO ~

Every day that she doesn't speak to me feels like a fucking eternity. I value, cherish, the people in my life. How did I take her for granted?

I refuse to believe that things between us are irreparable. We both fucked up. We both got lost along the way but it's time we found our way back to each other. Desirae isn't the type to rebuild a bridge after it's been broken. No, she's more likely to douse the fucker with gasoline and watch it burn to ashes. It's okay though; I can put the pieces together. There might be holes here and there but eventually it'll all come together.

A lot can happen in a few weeks' time. Carina's healing from the attack. We've made plans to go home for Christmas next week. Valentino came to Desirae's rescue. But now it's time to eradicate this ridiculous line we've drawn and move forward, together. I don't expect her to welcome me with open arms. Shit, I expect her to backhand me first, kick me in the nuts, and then assault me with a kiss. That's more her style. I'd gladly accept it too.

Because the fact is I miss her. I miss her sassy mouth, her feisty attitude, and her fierce loyalty. I miss everything about her, the good, the bad and the ugly. No one's ever gotten so deep under my skin. She's permanently imprinted within me. I don't know when or how it happened. The details no longer matter. Desirae flung open that door a year ago, meeting us for the first time, and I haven't been the same since.

She stands less than 15 feet away but it feels like we're oceans apart. She knows I'm here. She purposely angles her body to avoid looking at me. I don't know if I love or hate that. Can she not stand the sight of me or does it pain her as much as it does me that we can't find a way to be together?

Desirae has a pair of black thigh-high leather boots on that fucking guts me. She's dressed to kill with tiny shorts and a revealing top. She leans over the bar giving her favorite bartender an eyeful of her luscious tits. The bartender flicks a glance my way before tracing the outline of her top with his fingertips. The roaring in my ears drowns out the music in the club. I fight against the overwhelming urge to hop over the bar and pummel his face. I don't give a shit who he works for or that he might genuinely be a great guy. He's touching my girl. Desirae may not agree but we're going to get our shit together and make things work.

"I don't think your boy cares too much for me" he brazenly observes. I ball my hands into fists needing to do something with them.

"He looks like he wants to rip your nuts off" one of the servers chuckles as the bartender hands over a tray of drinks.

Desirae throws her head back roaring with laughter. Glad she thinks this shit is fucking hilarious. If this had been any other chick I would've up and left. There's no need to stand around being humiliated when plenty of other girls would love to be in her place. But sadly my heart and dick refuse to pine away for anyone else. She's it... She's the one for me. I know it as surely as I know every element in the periodic table and where it lays.

"You don't wear jealousy very well baby" her sexy purr taunts me. "Devon here is a sure thing for me." She angles her tits just right, giving him another eyeful. The fucker openly ogles her pissing me the fuck off. She's saying plenty with that simple statement. I've denied her for months. It doesn't matter to her that it's for a good reason. All she knows is that I'm not a sure thing and she doesn't want to make the effort to win me.

"How long has it been for you?" It takes me a few seconds to realize she's directed the question to me. I can't focus with the way she sways her hips as she sashays over to me.

"Good luck bro" Devon the bartender calls out. My eyes dart to him. I've never wished for superpowers before but I'd gladly take them now. Is shriveling a man's dick to the size of a cashew too much to ask for?

"With what" I snarl. I know I'm not being fair to him but he's the easiest scapegoat for the moment.

"If you actually think you can take Troublemaker head on. She might be more like your little sister. Maybe you and I can talk about trying to tame her together." His eyes dance with mirth knowing he's playing with fire.

"Fuck you Devon" Desirae flips him off.

"Done that plenty of times with you sugar; I'm always ready and available." He crows.

"Your time's over and I'm not sharing" I state loudly enough for anyone with a 10-mile radius to hear.

"You're out of your fucking mind." Desirae scoffs. I ignore the fact that she's cussing at me. I don't care if she cusses but I'll be damned if she disrespects me.

"Didn't you know
Tesoro
" I stalk towards her lowering my voice to a low, lethal pitch. Her spine stiffens, she's instantly on alert. "When it comes to you I'm a fucking madman. Push all you want. Kick and scratch the entire way... But you and me... We're it. There's no one else now or in the future. When you're ready to accept that, when you give me everything you've got, take as much from me as you want."

"I'm fine just the way things are now" she stubbornly insists. My eyes take in every inch of her. She's got dark circles under her eyes. She's not fooling me. She nor Carina are sleeping well at night. She can fuck every man on this planet but it won't ease the emptiness she feels. But I won't tell her that. She just might try to prove me wrong and I don't really want to go to jail for killing some ignorant fucker.

"Keep telling yourself that" I growl. We stand nose to nose. She's shaking like a leaf but she pretends not to be affected. Two can play that game. I keep my hips away from her so she can't feel how fucking hard I am for her. I know she'll notice the moment I walk away. She always notices. She makes no pretense when she openly devours me with her eyes. I fucking love it. But it also drives me insane. I wasn't kidding when I told her she's turning me into a madman. I've never suffered from jealousy and bouts of anger until I finally gave into my desire to be with her.

"You and me" My fingers softly stroke her cheek. She swallows loudly as I lean in reverently kissing her temple, corner of her mouth, and cheek. "We will happen. And you'll never look back."

"Let me guess" she rolls her eyes but I can't ignore the brimming tears threatening to spill over. "I'll wonder why the hell I waited so long."

"Fuck yes you will" I nuzzle her neck unable to resist touching her. "But it'll also be worth the wait." We both flinch the moment our bodies separate. How will it feel when she's so deeply entwined that I don't know where she begins and where I end? Is it possible for us to ever get there?

"Until then" I cup her cheek fucking loving how she leans into my hand. "I miss you so fucking much." It takes everything to walk out of that club without looking back. She has to come to me willingly. I've tried her tactics but you can't fight fire with fire without getting burned. It's time to show Desirae her worth.