The Innocent Liar (13 page)

He smiled, open mouth, white teeth showing beautifully. His laugh was warm and intimate or maybe it was his hard arousal fitting snug between the ever wetting lips of her sex. “And I was thinking it was one of your best features. What about children? A husband?”

“No…and no.” She looked away for a moment as she heard the lie coming from her own lips, and then she forced her eyes back to him.

“Come home with me.” He rarely asked a question posed as an actual question, and most of what he said could easily be construed as an order, but the tone of his voice said he was waiting. He was waiting for her to agree, and he wanted her to—very much given the focus on her face as he waited.

She nodded, and he pushed off her body. She watched as he walked naked across the loft, grabbing his clothes and dressing quickly. When he caught her staring rather than getting ready, he started tutting as he shook his head. “Get that perfect ass of yours in gear please. I need coffee and sex. The order is irrelevant, and I’m not above trying to pull both off at the same time.”

She crawled from the bed, and he leaned against her dining room table with his ankles crossed casually as he watched her just as closely as she’d watched him. Soon they were headed toward his home, and she was smiling out the window at the crisp, bright morning.

Chapter Twenty-Four

E
li had almost told Fiona he loved her. Fuck. He’d been pinning her to the bed, trying not to let his emotions run away from him, and he’d had no idea why the words were suddenly on his tongue, but they were—sitting there waiting to be said. He had to believe it was because he’d spent half the night desperately trying to figure out how to keep her—how to keep a woman he wasn’t sure was keepable. He simply had to believe it was nothing more than that. Of course, he didn’t actually believe that at all.

This woman might just have the power to destroy him. For the first time ever in his life, he wanted a woman to have that power. Anything less wouldn’t be enough. She needed to have the capacity to take his happiness away in order for him to have happiness, and he did. In that moment, he was content and at peace. How had this unknown woman so easily taken his life, made it hers, and given it back so very much improved? She was incredible to make love to, but it wasn’t that. He’d had plenty of sex in his life. What he hadn’t had before was her. It was something about her that he simply couldn’t put a name to—an odd concept given he literally couldn’t put a name to her, but he couldn’t describe it in any other way. She was just different in a very perfect sort of way. And there it was again. Those damn words threatening and begging to roll off his tongue. He couldn’t love her. He didn’t know how to be that man, and he didn’t trust himself not to destroy her. Destroying her would be the end of him. That much he knew with absolute certainty.

Maybe he just liked fucking her too much. Maybe it was nothing more than that. Or maybe he was turning into a complete and utter vagina, and he was falling for her. It didn’t really matter because either way, his focus was constantly glued to her, his dick was constantly hard, and his chest was tight with something that was either an impending heart attack or some emotion he wasn’t really equipped to deal with. One would leave him dead; the other might just break his heart and make him wish he was. But he didn’t give a shit. He was too damn happy—not about the lies and the secrecy, not about the fact that so much of her was unknown to him, especially considering every part of him wanted to know her fully. But despite all that, he was content when he was with her. He’d never had that, not ever.

When he was married and his wife was fucking half the town, he didn’t know a thing about feeling close or even wanting to be close to a woman. He’d lived his life as though his past didn’t exist, yet oddly, his past had consumed him. But now, it didn’t—it wasn’t, and strangely, what had happened so many years ago was closer to the surface than ever before. She had something to do with that, and he needed to hold onto her, even if he hadn’t a clue how to do that.

He’d pulled her to his bathroom the moment they’d walked in the door Saturday morning, and by the time they’d gotten out an hour and a half later, they were as clean as could be. His mouth had perhaps touched every inch of her body, he’d fucked her once while she was on her knees, leaning over the side of the bathtub, and he’d eaten her pussy while she sat on the side of the bathtub. He was absolutely addicted to what he was doing with her at this point.

His phone rang when they were in the kitchen. He’d lifted her up onto the counter, and he was standing between her legs, resting his head on her shoulder as her hands traveled gently over his back. They were waiting on coffee, and he groaned as the phone on his wall started yelling at him to answer.

“Hi, Dad.”

Fiona watched, smiling wryly as he leaned against the counter across from her.

“Hi. What are you doing today?”

“I’m hanging out with Fiona at the moment. Might go snowshoeing later if I can find some for her.”

“I see. Awful early in the day for a date, don’t you think?”

Eli’s hackles raised instantly. “Unless of course it’s a continuation of last night, huh?” He was being a sarcastic dick, but he was also pissed at where his dad’s comment might be going. Fiona watched him confused, and he tried to smile.

“Just seems maybe you’re getting a little close to this girl is all. You know Sam mentioned you must have gotten physically involved with her to know about the initials. I wasn’t aware of what you two were talking about when you were over at Thanksgiving, but I am now, and I just don’t think this is a good idea.”

“And I don’t think it’s any of your business.” He kept his voice steady as he turned and walked from the room. He didn’t want her to worry, but she was, and the expression on her face said it clearly. His office was on the opposite side of his sprawling house, and he sat at his drafting table when he entered. “Why are you doing this?”

“You don’t know anything about her.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s not at my choosing. It’s yours, it’s Sam’s, hell, it’s hers, but it’s not mine. So I take it you know who she is then? You wouldn’t be so worried if you didn’t, so you must have found out.”

“She’s been through a lot, and I’m just not sure a relationship is what she needs.”

“I think she would obviously disagree. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“Women don’t always act in the manner you think they would, given their circumstances.”

“I see. So you’re saying she wouldn’t be sleeping with me if she weren’t fucked up in the head!” His voice was far too loud. He was struggling to control his anger—that is until he heard a sound by the door. He whipped to see her standing there, holding two coffee cups with a smile still partially affixed to her lips. But that smile was falling, and the flinch in her brow said his words hurt. She set both coffee cups on the bookshelf just inside the door, and she turned, walking away.

“Fuck! Dad, unless you want to tell me exactly what you’re talking about, don’t give me anymore cryptic bullshit.” He hung up on him then, and he went after her.

It didn’t take him long to find her, standing in his bedroom, staring out at the open ranch lands that fell away in the distance from his wooded property. “Maybe he’s right?” She didn’t turn toward him at all. She just stared, and his heart just raced. They’d come too fucking far for her to be pulling the plug on him now.

“You think he’s right?”

His voice wasn’t at all pleasant, but she was used to his attitude, and as she turned, it wasn’t defense on her face at all. She nodded.

“I see,” he said. “You’re fucked up in the head, is that it? That’s what you think you heard, right?”

She nodded again. “Your dad’s right to think you’re better off without me.” She swallowed over a lump in her throat, and her eyes drifted to the floor as her lips pursed.

“My dad thinks you’ve been through too much. He thinks I’m going to hurt you. Don’t you get it? This isn’t about you being fucked up. It’s about me fucking you up.” He shook his head as he sat on the chaise. “I worry about it too.” He dropped his head to his hands.

He felt the chaise shift beside him, and then her warm hand was on the back of his neck. He sighed, and her hand caressed, releasing the tension as her fingers worked. When he peeked over at her, she was kneeling, and her breasts were practically in his face. He felt her lips on the back of his neck before he even realized what she was doing. Her hand brushed around to the front of his neck as her mouth gently sucked kisses along the back, and he tilted his head as her mouth moved, always giving her the access she wanted. He couldn’t stifle the groan. He simply couldn’t keep it in, and when she heard it, she let her kisses trail down the side of his neck to his ear.

“I promise you, whatever cruelty you think you have in you, it doesn’t hold a candle to the cruelty I’ve seen. Your intentions are what matter, and I trust those.” She kissed him sweetly on the cheek then, and she left him staring out the window as she silently walked out of the room.

She was right about his intentions. There wasn’t a single ounce of him that could stomach hurting her. But it didn’t mean he wouldn’t end up doing it regardless. He couldn’t stand that either. He cared about her, and it left him feeling like a liability to her—a liability he wanted to protect her from. But could he walk away? He’d already tried it once. It didn’t work. And aside from all that, he couldn’t imagine it. He was just going to have to figure out how to stifle the ass in him until he could put it away forever because he wasn’t going to lose her to the ugly little wounded child that liked to reside in his soul.

He found her in the kitchen, sipping coffee, and when he wrapped his arms around her, she turned into his chest, resting her cheek against him.

“Where’d you learn to have so little faith in yourself?” She might be sarcastic, but there was a real question there, and as she breathed gently against him, he knew she was waiting for an answer.

“It took years of practice, but eventually, I perfected it.” He was being cheeky as well, but he was guessing she knew there was plenty of truth to his answer.

They ended up skipping snowshoeing and opted for being lazy. Movies on the couch in the living room, followed by movies in bed, interrupted occasionally by sex. Sunday was no better, and by the time he took her home Sunday night, they were as exhausted as he’d suggested they would be. His thighs ached, and his butt did too, but he couldn’t seem to stop touching her.

He brought a change of clothes with him to her place, and after they ordered pizza and had dinner, he left her for a while to work in his office. A few hours later, he crawled into her bed next to her. It was late, and she was sound asleep.

Chapter Twenty-Five

“H
e’s going to leave you, you know that, right?”

Fiona turned toward the sound of Jake’s voice. He was standing in the break room doorway as she heated up a leftover piece of pizza from the night before. It was lunchtime, and the men were all gone, including Eli who had a meeting.

“Listen, Jake, if I led you on in any way, then I’m really sorry, but I’m not interested in you.”

“No, but you’re sure interested in him, aren’t you? It’s the dickhead persona, isn’t it? You’re one of those? One of those women who enjoy being with an asshole, never knowing if he’ll be kind to you.”

“Jake, please—”

“He fucks women and then dumps them. It’s what he does. What do you think Candace was? Hmm? A girlfriend?” He laughed after he said it. “She was a hole he could screw and then throw away, and it’s exactly what you’ll be too when his eyes land on something newer, shinier, prettier.”

She was struggling to swallow as she listened to his words. She didn’t want to believe anything of what he said, but then, she didn’t really know Eli, and the man standing in front of her knew that perfectly well.

“He was a dick to his wife, a real asshole, and when she was finally tired of it, she decided to get her revenge. What she never counted on was him not giving a shit. Or if he did, you certainly couldn’t tell. He just started playing her game too, fucking anything and everything until the divorce was finalized. Then he just kept on fucking. It’s just what he does.”

“Jake, please don’t do this.” She was looking at the floor between them, and when the microwave dinged, she ignored it, unable to even move. What he was saying hurt. It hurt to imagine it; it hurt to believe it. She couldn’t handle being someone he would discard someday.

“Do you really think you’re something different to him? Do you want to bet your happiness on it?” He was studying her.

She didn’t guess he was trying to be cruel at all. It just wasn’t like him. That sort of cruelty was apparently saved for the likes of Eli—at least that’s what Jake wanted her to believe.

“He strung Candace along for months, sleeping with her when he chose and ignoring her when it suited him. And the whole time he was out fucking other women. You think he’s not fucking other women now? His two o’clock appointment this afternoon is with a woman he’s been sleeping with for over a year—while he was busy screwing around with Candace, by the way.”

She almost threw up, and she focused at staring at Jake’s feet to keep herself from fainting. When Mike suddenly pushed open the door, it startled her, and she yelped at the surprise. Mike eyed her suspiciously as she pushed past them. When she reached her desk, she gulped down air, and she focused on her desktop as she tried to keep the pain from twisting inside her.

“Hi. Did you get lunch?” She looked up at Eli standing in his doorway.

She shook her head, and then she nodded. She was a bit too stupefied to behave normally. “Yes, no, I mean no…”

He smiled. “Well, which is it? Do I need to feed you or not?”

“No. I’m fine.” She wasn’t fine at all, and when his face dropped, it was quite obvious he knew it.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“That’s twice now you’ve said that, and I don’t believe you this time any more than last. What’s wrong with you?”

“Don’t you have an appointment coming soon?” Her eyes narrowed, and his did too.

“Yes, and I’d like you to sit in on it if you don’t mind.” He looked at her for a moment longer before shaking his head and walking away.

She tried to focus on something, anything as she waited for two o’clock, but she could barely remember how to breathe, and every time she looked up, his eyes were watching her. When she heard footsteps on the stairs, her heart started racing. The woman Mike showed in was tall and blonde. Her hair was thick, and she was lithe and graceful. Her curves were far more subtle than Fiona’s, and she was a good six inches taller. Her dress was casual, but it was the perfect casual that looked comfortable, yet elegant. She smiled radiantly, and as she did, Fiona stood, reaching a hand out to the woman.

“I’m Fiona, you must be Denise.” It was painfully hard to force her behavior to be professional and assertive.

“I am. Glad to see Eli finally got himself an assistant. He’s far too busy to be without one.” She smiled again. She was being kind, and there was nothing contrived about it. She actually just seemed nice, and for some reason, that almost made it more difficult. Could he be sleeping with her still? If there was any truth to what Jake had said, he very likely was, or at the very least he would again once he’d gotten over the novelty of fucking his secretary.

“Hi, Denise. It’s good to see you. Fiona’s going to be joining us today if you don’t mind.”

Denise said she didn’t mind, but it was a lie. Not a malicious lie, but it was obvious given the stiff smile she was holding just a bit too firmly on her lips.

“I’m actually quite busy. If you don’t need me, I’d rather get some work done.” Fiona didn’t look at him as she responded, but the silence said he was not only looking at her, but he was fuming.

“Denise, please go on in. I’ll be right behind you.”

Fiona looked up to give her a smile, but her face fell flat when she caught on Eli’s glare. The moment he closed the door between their offices, he returned to her desk, placing his palms on the desktop and leaning toward her. “I thought I asked you to accompany me.”

“And here I thought you wouldn’t mind if I bowed out of a meeting with you and the woman you’ve been fucking. Now was it before Candace…or wait, was it while you were fucking Candace…or maybe you’re still fucking her.” She held her focus on his eyes as his lips parted and his forehead wrinkled. “How dare you even ask me to join the meeting?”

He said nothing, and her anger finally faltered as her eyes dropped to her desktop. She was miserable, and when he stood refusing to even try to explain or perpetuate the conversation, she was heartbroken. She spent the next two hours working on bids, but every time she looked into his office she was smacked with it again. Denise’s hand was often on his arm, and Fiona would either catch him pulling his arm away, or he’d look up, see Fiona watching him, and then decide it wasn’t okay for Denise to be touching him. Every time it was like a knife in the gut, and by the time they stood, Fiona felt like electric rage was coursing through her veins, and she was going to explode any second.

As they passed through her office, she stood. “Denise, it was lovely meeting you.” Her anger was making it quite easy to be assertive and confident at the moment. It was a smokescreen for the hurt underneath, but she needed that strength.

“You as well.” And then turning to Eli who happened to be staring at Fiona, she continued. “We’ll talk soon. We should really go out sometime soon. It’s been entirely too long.” She winked at him, and Fiona looked away.

He ignored Denise. His jaw was tight, and he was still glaring at Fiona. Denise eventually cleared her throat and then turned to leave, saying goodbye over her shoulder. Once she was gone, neither Eli or Fiona said anything to one another. He watched her, and she focused on her desktop. She was too hurt to do this right now. She’d have likely never known the woman in his office was a woman he liked sleeping with regularly had Jake not told her, and that terrified her to no end. She’d have never cared if her husband was stepping out on her. Hell, she’d have been glad he was leaving her alone, but this was pure agony. Jake was right. Caring for Eli could hurt her.

She stood. It was shortly after four, and she was leaving early, but she really didn’t care. “I’m not feeling well.” She walked away from him, and he said nothing. She didn’t know what to make of his silence, and as she stepped off the last step to the shop floor, Jake looked up to her. She ignored him too and walked toward her loft.

“Fiona, wait. Please!” Jake was coming up behind her as she hit the bottom of her stairs, and she turned to look at him. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “For what?”

“You think I want to see you hurt? I don’t!”

“What the fuck did you say to her, huh?” Eli came up behind them, and Jake turned to him.

“I told her the truth. You’re an asshole. You’re going to fuck her over just like every other woman who made the mistake of liking you.”

“You don’t know a goddam thing about me.” Eli’s attention shifted to her. “I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk to either of you.” She said nothing else, and as she bounded quickly up her stairs, she was relieved that neither had chosen to ignore her last comment. She curled up on her bed, letting her attention drift away out the large arched window in front of her. She cared entirely too much about a man who was far too likely to hurt her. Maybe he was right after all to worry he would. Someone once told her if a person acknowledged a fault you should listen because they were usually telling the truth. Why hadn’t she listened? She’d ignored that advice too much. She had enough misery in her life, and she couldn’t conceive of experiencing more from him. He’d told her he was an asshole. Why the hell hadn’t she just listened to him—believed him? He wasn’t lying when he said it, and sadly, she knew Jake wasn’t lying either.

She wanted to run away. She had money now, maybe not much, but without any living expenses, she’d squirreled away a good little chunk of change. But how far would it get her? She could disappear into some other small obscure town. Maybe she could figure out how to steal someone’s identity. People did it all the time. It couldn’t possibly be that hard. Sam would be livid. He didn’t want to see her come out of this thing with a criminal record, and she understood that. She didn’t want to steal anyone’s money though. She didn’t even want to damage their credit. She just needed some sort of valid identification, so she could build a life for herself and survive until this blew over.

She fell asleep dreaming of it. Running. Running far, starting over. She didn’t really want to, but she wanted to escape from this pain, and she didn’t know how else to do it. She had to make it happen. It was time to run before she destroyed her heart in addition to her life.