The Innocent Liar (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Six

“W
ake up, baby.” Eli murmured it against Fiona’s ear, and she moaned in her sleep. She’d been tossing and turning since he’d crawled in beside her, and he was working up the nerve to wake her. He’d cornered Jake after the confrontation in the corridor. The fucker had put one hell of a bug in her ear with Denise and then left her to sort it out by herself. It was a dick move, and the fact Denise just happened to have a meeting with him that afternoon was just icing on the fucking cake. He’d used it all to his advantage, and it wasn’t going to go unchecked.

“You gonna fire me now, Eli?” Jake’s arms had been crossed on his chest as they’d stood squaring off with one another in the break room a few minutes after Fiona abandoned them to stare daggers at one another.

“Fuck, no. I’d rather make money off your ass than see you get fucking unemployment benefits on my dime.” He’d walked out of the room, giving Jake not a second more of his time. He’d gone up to his office then, shutting out the world for a while.

His meeting with Denise had been painfully long and awkward. He didn’t want Denise, but Denise was a flirt, and by the time she left, he was so happy to see her leave he could cry. He was not happy to have to justify himself to Fiona though, and she made it clear she wasn’t going to be making it easy on him.

Now, she was quietly moaning and whimpering in her sleep as he held her. At least she wasn’t berating him for being a dick. “Wake up.”

It was only eight thirty at night, but he understood her need to disappear into sleep for a while. He knew something about that. He’d done it plenty when life felt overwhelming. Sleep was, after all, a hell of lot healthier than drinking yourself into a stupor. “Come on, baby.”

She moaned and rolled over toward him. That’s when her arm met his body, and she gasped, sitting up quickly. He’d turned the nightstand lamp on, and it took her little time to realize he was the strange body in her bed.

“Get out. Please. I don’t want to argue with you.”

“You have to listen to me.”

“The fuck I do.”

“Fiona, please.” He watched her, waiting for her to either kick him out or back off. She did nothing, and he took that as a sign he could continue. “I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past, but whatever it is you think is going on with Denise, it’s not. It’s not now, it won’t in the future. I promise you that.”

“Right. What about all the other women? Seems you have a problem keeping your dick to yourself.”

He finally fully understood the depths of Jake’s attack on him. He hadn’t just thrown Denise in her face, he’d thrown the past five years of Eli’s life in her face.

He was silent for a moment. “Whatever he told you, it’s probably true. I didn’t handle my divorce well. Hell, I didn’t handle being married well. But that has nothing to do with us.”

“You cheated on Candace. That was only a month or two ago. Don’t act like this has something to do with your divorce years ago. This is you now.” Her eyes were wide and furious as she pulled back from him, leaving him in a near panic.

“I…I’m…Fuck, I’m not perfect, Fiona! I’ve spent years fucking up. I know that. It doesn’t mean I want to do that now. It doesn’t mean any of that has anything to do with us.” He was practically yelling, but there was nothing angry about his tone. He was just so damn desperate for her to understand.

She stood up from the bed then, looking down at him. “I’ve already done pain and betrayal. I’m not about to put myself in a position that’s just going to bring me more of it.” She shook her head, and she turned to walk away.

He caught up quickly, grabbing her around the waist and holding her body tightly to him. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for my life before you came into it. Please. I should have told you who Denise was. Or…fuck. It just never should have happened to begin with. But it did, and I can’t undo that. I hate that you have to deal with the fall out of who I used to be. But, please, I can’t lose you. I…I care too much about you.”

She fought to get away from him, and he eventually let her go, certain she was going to walk away then. When she turned to face him, her face looked shocked, and he suddenly felt more vulnerable than he’d ever been his entire life. But he needed to say more.

“I haven’t been with any other woman, or even wanted to, since I met you. From the moment you walked through my door, hell, even when I was yelling at you and being a complete ass, I was so drawn to you. I’m not a man who just cheats because I can’t help myself. I’ve never been that man. I just never cared, or I was angry.” He shook his head in frustration. He wasn’t helping the situation. “I never cheated on my wife until I found out she was cheating on me. I didn’t handle it well. I filed for divorce, and I fought back in the most pathetic way possible. It was wrong, it was immature, it was just…” He started shaking his head again, but she was watching him silently, and she didn’t look like she wanted to run. “I wasn’t dating Candace or Denise for that matter, or any other woman I chose to sleep with since my divorce. I was just getting laid, and however pathetic that is to you, it’s the truth. I didn’t want a relationship because I didn’t want to deal with any of that bullshit again…until I met you.” Her lips pursed, and her eyes teared. It was a good sign, but he was still petrified. “You’re the last person in the world I could ever want to hurt. I need you to trust in me.”

“Why did you want me in that meeting today?” She was starting to relax, but it didn’t mean she was ready to give up the fight.

“I didn’t want to be alone with her. I wanted you there. I thought she’d behave if we weren’t alone, and that I could…maybe with you there, it would be clear that she was no longer a romantic interest of mine in any way.”

“Odd, you didn’t just tell her. Isn’t that the expectation you put on me with Jake?”

Well, she’d gotten him there, but her eyebrows were raised, and she almost seemed amused—not completely amused, but close. “Yes, and I’m sorry. I was worried she’d be upset, and she’d cancel the contract, but that doesn’t matter, and you’re right. I will tell her. I promise.” They stared at one another standing in the middle of her loft, and his heart continued to try to force its way into his throat. “Please stop threatening to leave me because it’s killing me.”

She shook her head then, walking to him and wrapping her arms around him. She nuzzled her cheek against his chest, and he started breathing again.

“Now what are you doing sleeping at eight thirty at night?”

“I was upset. I was afraid Jake was right.”

“Jake was right, but it doesn’t have anything to do with us.”

“He said you’d hurt me—that you’d leave me once you found something better.”

“There’s nothing better than you, baby. It doesn’t mean I’m not terrified all the time I’m going to hurt you, but I’m not worried in the least I’ll cheat on you or betray you for another woman. Not in the least. That’s just not who I am. It’s my mouth and my shitty attitude that’ll get me in trouble with you.”

He lifted her to straddle his waist as he carried her back to her bed, sitting on the side. Her head sank to his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding tight to what very much belonged to him at this point. He hated what he didn’t know about her, but he loved what he did.

When she lifted her head, she leaned in and kissed him. She stood then, and pushed her underwear down, dropping them at her feet. He scooted up to the headboard and propped his hands behind his head. She crawled onto the bed, straddling him but not sitting on his lap. She hovered, her body upright, and when he reached to lift the front of her T-shirt to peek at her pussy, she smiled. By the time she reached for the waist of his jeans, he was straining desperately against the front, and he watched as she undid the button and lowered the zipper. He pushed his pants down his hips just far enough to free his cock, and then she was pushing down over the head, sinking her soft, wet pussy around his hard, thick dick. He watched, still holding the front of her T-shirt up, as she started making love to him.

He tried not to touch her. He tried to let her lead. He actually tried to keep his ass on the bed and not let his hips thrust upward, but she had a way with him, and she left his body completely out of his control. His dick tended to take over with her, and this time was no exception.

He grasped her hips harshly, letting his fingertips dig into her skin, and as he yanked her down to meet his thrusting hips, she cried out. She started cussing as he used her hips, jerking them and forcing them to his lap as he clenched his buttocks, driving himself into her.

She crumpled to his chest with a loud cry when she orgasmed, and he pulled her hips, sealing her body to his as he fell apart too. He was still gripping her hard to him, and as his buttocks relaxed back into the soft bedding beneath him, she panted against his chest.

Her thighs trembled against his, and he inhaled slow deep breaths against her shoulder as she rested her cheek against his. A trickle of moisture ran down over his testicles, and for half a second he thought about commenting on just how wet she could get, until he remembered. He remembered what he forgot to remember.

“Fuck.” He muttered, and she lifted her head. “I didn’t use a condom.”

She watched him for a moment without a shred of panic, and then she cleared her throat. “I have an IUD, and they were always—I was always extremely safe with my health.”

He shook his head as he chuckled. It was a bit passive aggressive, and he didn’t want it to be, but it was just another reminder of how much he didn’t know about the woman he was quite certain he was falling in love with. “Of course you do, and I’ve always been safe too, but perhaps you could have mentioned it sooner.” He watched her nod. “Glad to hear we’ve been wasting our time unnecessarily with condoms. Won’t be doing that anymore.” He kissed her to break the tension, and then he slapped her butt as she jumped.

When she finally climbed off him, he didn’t let her go far. He pulled her back into his arms, and he caressed along her neck with his lips. He’d acknowledged to having some pretty fucking intense feelings for her, but even that confession didn’t quite encompass what he felt. He liked her far more than she likely realized, and it was terrifying. Seeing as he couldn’t stop this thing with her though, he wasn’t sure there was much to be done except to let himself fully fall in love with her. That was a horrifying prospect for him and at the same time, one he was looking forward to more than anything in his entire life. At some point, he was going to have to be honest with her as well. She wasn’t the only one with a dark history, and if there was any hope for them, they were going to have to move past the secrets.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“A
re you free next Wednesday night for the Christmas party? Planning on my house this year and having it catered in. I’m going to be closing down the shop for a couple weeks around Christmas, so I want to make sure we get the party out of the way before we wrap up for the holiday.”

It was Friday, and Fiona had just come downstairs to start cleaning before Eli had pulled her into the break room. She’d not spent a single night away from him since he’d divulged there was a wee bit more to their relationship than mere fuckery.

The night before, he stayed in his office working while she cleaned downstairs, and at ten he came down, dragging her up to her loft. The two nights before that he’d asked her to come home with him, and she’d packed a bag, spending the night there. They’d cooked together, they’d watched TV, and they’d made love like any regular couple would, though he certainly kept things more interesting than most men. It all felt so real, and it was. But they were only showing each other part of themselves. It may well be the important parts, but it was so exceptionally wrong.

She hid her life from him out of necessity, and he hid his too. She didn’t know what he wasn’t telling her about himself, or even why he wasn’t telling her, but there was something deeply buried in his past that stunted him emotionally in some way. He’d overcome so many barriers with her, and she loved that he’d been able to, but it meant she carried the worry that his ghosts would catch up to him some time and kick them both in the ass.

But most of the time, she ignored everything except what felt good, and he felt so good—so good, in fact, that she knew she was finally pulling away from her own past and leaving it far behind. She’d struggled at first to function like a normal woman. There was little surprise to that. Of course there wasn’t. She’d endured a lot before she ran, and to think she could walk away from that life with no scars would have been ridiculous. None of that past mattered much though when she was with Eli. She liked being a woman again. She liked the touch of a man again. And she felt safer than she’d felt in years.

“I’m available anytime.”

He smiled warmly down at her as he held her in his arms, and she could feel her cheeks blushing.

“The other guys can make it that night too—all that is except Jake. He not so politely refused.” He let her go then, but he didn’t walk away. “I’m going to work upstairs, mind if I crash with you? I’ll make it worth your time.”

She nodded, and he kissed her quickly before leaving her.

She cleaned in record time that night. He didn’t expect her to stay any later than it took her to clean, and she was more than ready to get him upstairs. He did not lie about making it worth her time, and she collapsed on the bed after three orgasms within an hour. He was chuckling behind her. He pulled her into his arms, but as the phone rang, she groaned. It could possibly be a customer stupid enough to call the shop after reasonable work hours; it certainly wouldn’t be the first time. They ignored it, but when it stopped ringing and then started ringing again moments later, Eli stood, stalking across the room to snatch the cordless phone from the wall.

His greeting was less than kind, and she cringed at the sound of his voice. “Well, Sam, to what do we owe the interruption?” He looked at her wearily as she sat up. This couldn’t be good, or it could be really good, but it wouldn’t be some run of the mill chat session. Sam only called when there was a damn good reason to call.

Fiona stood, crossing the room toward Eli. His expression was serious and perhaps a bit annoyed, and she didn’t like it, but as his eyes traveled over her body, he sighed and held out the phone for her.

“Hi, Sam.”

Eli didn’t bother moving away from her and instead, stood against the kitchen counter watching her. She had little choice but to walk away from him, and she knew even as she was turning from him it would piss him off.

“Hey, kiddo. Good news—not great news but good at least. The feds have added charges onto Lars’s growing list of felonies. First degree murder this time, and that likely means someone on the inside is leaking information—not necessarily his counterparts in Salt Lake, but somebody caught up in the investigation. What that also means is things are unraveling for him. Once they know the extent of his crimes and who’s involved, the shit will hit the fan with the others, and it won’t be long until they realize your charges are a direct link to their need to shut you the hell up.”

“I’m perfectly happy to shut up as long as Lars and company are rotting safely away in a prison cell for the rest of their lives. I’ve never understood why he or they, for that matter, saw me as a threat. All I’ve ever wanted was to get away.”

“You know things—”

“I don’t, actually.”

“You know
other
things. You have proof of
other
things. And that means you can hang them out to dry in
other
ways. They know it well. Lars is fucked at this point, and once I can get my hands on him, there’s not much that’ll keep him out of prison for the rest of his life, but his buddies, they’re only just feeling the loving embrace of the feds. To this point, the feds
thought
Lars was working with others. Now, they seem to
know
. His cronies were one of your biggest threats. They’re the ones responsible for trying to flesh you out with bogus charges because they’re worried about their own asses. Now that the feds are onto them too, they’re just as fucked as Lars.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. How close to getting your hands on Lars are you?”

“Who the hell knows? He’s good at hiding, and he knows what he’s doing. Not too surprised about that. I’m still in Denver, and from the sounds of it, his ass is broke, or at the very least, getting close. I’ve tracked him to a couple hole-in-the-wall hotels no one would willingly stay in if they had a reasonable alternative. And he was kicked out of the last place when he stayed past his checkout time and couldn’t cough up the money. Give it time. He’s running out of resources, and that’s good for us. We’re getting closer.”

“Good.”

“So, getting pretty close to the boss man, huh?”

She chuckled quietly. “Don’t you know it’s rude to ask such questions of a lady?”

“I do, but such things as propriety don’t apply to me. You’ve known me long enough to understand that, haven’t you?” She laughed again. Eli was still leaning against the kitchen counter, watching her.

“It’s weird isn’t it?”

“What? That you’re normal and actually like a man? Seems to me like it makes you pretty damn typical.”

“That alone is what’s weird. I have no business being normal.” Her eyes flashed to Eli. She was keeping her words cryptic for a reason, and given the suspicion on his face, he wasn’t missing that, even if he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“He’s a good man. Hard to read, difficult at times, but good. The whole secrets and lies thing can’t be easy on him though. I know him well enough to appreciate that.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t like it either, by the way.”

“Well, the way I see it is this. A person can be a liability to you without intending to or meaning to and vice versa. A lesson I learned a long time ago. There’ll be time for truth and honesty later.”

“I understand.”

“Glad to hear it. Have fun playing house with the boss man. You’re giving the secretary-boss relationship a whole new dynamic. Oh, your mom asked me to tell you hi and that she misses you.”

“Oh, I miss her too. Is she well?”

“She’s just fine. Listen, I better let you go.”

“Bye, Sam.”

“Bye, kiddo.”

When she returned to the kitchen area to hang up the phone, Eli’s focus followed her. His body remained unmoving, and his face as well, but his eyes watched, and his expression was impassive. She didn’t like any of it. His mood had quite obviously soured.

“Everything all right?”

She turned to him, nodding as she hung up the phone.

“Who’s Lars?” He refused to look at her as he asked the question, and his body was entirely too tense.

“No one important.” She forced herself to look at him when she responded, and she regretted it. He was not happy. “I’m sorry, Eli…”

“It’s fine.” His mood implied otherwise, but when he walked to her, took her hand, and then pulled her toward the bed, she decided against perpetuating the conversation. He pulled her back into his front, and he whispered
good night
against her ear. She closed her eyes and sank into his warmth and the security his body gave her.

Fiona wasn’t sure what woke her or even why, but as she stretched, she realized Eli wasn’t there next to her. She rolled over on her back, and then she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What’s this?”

She sat up, rubbing her eyes as she tried to focus. He turned to her, pulling his knee up onto the bed and holding his hand in the air. The diamond glinted on the tip of his index finger. It was a large diamond. Beautiful by all accounts, but she hated it. She also hated the wedding band that was soldered onto the side of the rather lavish engagement ring.

“Where did you get that?”

“Your wallet. Answer the question.”

“Eli—”

“Answer the fucking question!”

“My wedding and engagement ring. Eli, please—”

“Are you married?” Her heart was racing, and the fury on his face wasn’t helping.

“You don’t understand—”

“Are you fucking married?”

“Yes, but you don’t underst—”

“I can’t possibly understand because everything about you is a fucking lie!” His face was scrunched up as he yelled.

“I’m sorry.” Her eyes dropped to the quilt between them.

“Maybe you hate him, hell, maybe he’s nothing to you, but I can’t possibly know. Don’t you get that? I can’t know
anything
about the woman I care about, and that’s really fucked up. I can’t live like that. Never knowing what secrets are hiding in your mind. Not knowing how much I can trust you.” His voice was clipped and angry, and he stood then, snatching his clothes up off the floor and dressing in a hurry as she stood and watched him.

She was standing there like a complete idiot, afraid to even say anything, afraid to move.

When he was dressed and she was standing crying in front of him, he looked to her. “I could let this one slide. I know I could.” His eyes looked glossy as he spoke. “I’ve let so many lies and half-truths slide. But what next? What secret do I have to worry will pop up next. How far into this will we go before it drives me crazy?”

“I don’t want this, please. Please.” Her voice was choked, and she was talking around a sob as she shook her head.

The gloss in his eyes became very real tears then, and one ran down his cheek as she watched, but his teeth were gritted and his expression furious. “You don’t understand how hard it is for me to deal with the secrets, and what pisses me off the most is this didn’t need to be a lie. I know nothing more about you now than I did an hour ago aside from the fact you have a husband out there somewhere. I’m not sure what’s worse, being cheated on by a woman I never cared about the way I was supposed to, or being tricked into being the cheater by a woman I actually do want to care about. Maybe it’s just what I deserve.” He turned then and walked out.

She called after him, but he ignored her every plea, and even running after him did nothing. He shook off her grasp on his arm, and when he made it to the exterior door and she tried one last time to keep him there, he yanked his arm away and wheeled on her. “Don’t fucking touch me.” His voice was a snarling, furious thing, and she pulled back with a gasp.

The moment the door closed behind him, she sank to the floor and sobbed. She cried, gasping pained sobs as though she’d just lost the most important thing in the world. It was exactly right. He’d become that to her, and now he was gone. He was right to leave, but at the same time, he wasn’t. She understood perfectly well this was hard on him, but what he failed to see was there wasn’t an ounce of her being that wanted to hide from him. She’d share every awful memory and experience with him if she could, yet he was incapable of seeing it as anything more than a betrayal. That was his own past talking, but how could she fault him that when she had her own to contend with?

She likely sat on the floor for an hour, trying to figure out how to fix it. The truth might be a start. Fuck Sam’s need to know clause, fuck her husband, fuck the whole lot of crooked detectives who wanted to hang her out to dry before she could do the same to them.

She picked up the phone when she finally returned to the loft, and she dialed. He didn’t answer. He didn’t answer twenty minutes later, the next morning, and the whole of the weekend for that matter, and come Monday morning she had turned into a stark raving lunatic—more desperate than she ever recalled feeling.

But he didn’t come to work, and the look on Mike’s face when he noticed her shocked expression as he mentioned to the group of them that Eli would be out for a few days said he was surprised she didn’t already know.

“Ahh…” He was watching her curiously as he stuttered over his words for a moment. “Have no fear, guys, he said he’d be home in time for the Christmas party.”

Then the Christmas party would have to do. It promised to be an unbearable few days on top of what had already been an unbearable weekend. But she had to make this right. She wasn’t prepared to lose him.