The House of Roses (29 page)

“
You all right, Colin?” Caren asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“
Yes, although I think my picture is now in the ER with the words, 'problem patient', underneath.”

“
I'm sure that's not true.”

“
Well, I got a nasty stick with a horrifying looking needle, twelve stitches, some release instructions, and a grape lollipop.”

“
You were a good boy then?” Caren asked, and Colin could hear the smile in her voice.

“
Once the needle business was over, I was all right. Okay, back to the story. I tripped over a dog leash. Never saw the dog, the leash, or the woman walking her. I went to high school with her. Faith's a rescue,” Colin rambled.

“
The woman?” Caren asked, sounding understandably confused.

“
No, the dog.”

“
Oh, gotcha,” Caren said, struggling to follow the abstract story.

“
I'm going to take her.”

“
The dog.”

“
Yes.”

“
Good boy.”

“
You sound like my mother.”

“
Wait until I'm running your house.”

“
Actually, I can't wait,” Colin said. “It's gonna be a full house.”

“
That's the way I like 'em,” she replied.

“
Caren, I'm not coming back into work until a week from Monday, but I need to see you to go over some things. Can you come by the condo sometime in the next few days?”

“
I could come later today.”

“
Good. What time do you get off?”

“
In an hour, but I have some errands.”

“
No problem. How's four o'clock?”

“
Four is good.”

“
You know where I live, right?”

“
You still in the condo in Manhattan?” Caren asked.

“
Yes. Upper East Side,” Colin began to say before he was interrupted by a ringing phone.

“
Colin, I have to run.”

“
Okay, Caren. I'll text you the address. There's a doorman. I'll let him know you're coming.”

“
Okay.”

“
Thank you, Caren. I really mean that.”

“
Thank you, Colin. See you in a couple of hours.”

Colin heard her disconnect the call, and sent her a text with his address on Third Street before he forgot. He paused for just a moment, then called Emma. He wanted to let her know he was okay, and he'd take Faith. The call went to voice mail. Colin left his name, told Emma how good it was to see her, then told her he'd like to adopt Faith. He glanced at the phone again. He wanted to call Caitlin. He couldn't believe he had seen her. He'd felt someone bump into him, had struggled to keep his balance as he turned, and then he'd looked into the eyes of the woman who held his heart and haunted his dreams. It was his moment, his chance to tell her how much he still loved her. His life had gotten crazy, but he wanted her in it. He needed her in it. He'd taken a risk kissing her, but it was a moment he would relive in his mind. He pictured her hair, and her eyes, and remembered the feel of her soft breasts in his hands, and the perfect curve of her hips. He imagined making love to her, and remembered the last night they'd been together. It had been magical, and a hundred times he'd wanted to say they'd made the wrong decision, but he hadn't. He'd simply devoured her, body and soul, and then as the sun rose, he'd left her bed, and walked out of her life. He was an idiot.

Something stirred in his running shorts, and he was reminded of his lower extremities. Obviously most things were working fine. Colin carefully lowered his leg, managed to get himself behind the wheel with little difficulty, and closed the door. The change in position seemed to wake the knee. The Lidocaine had only provided him temporary relief, and he winced against the sudden pain.

“
Holy shit,” he said, gritting his teeth against the pain. He started the Volvo, flipped on the A/C full blast, and leaned his head against the headrest. Hidden by the confines of the vehicle, he slipped his right hand into the front of his shorts, moved his erect member to a more comfortable position, and exhaled loudly. He felt like a teenage boy. He had a sports related injury, a girl on his mind, he couldn't stop thinking about this damn puppy, and he had a boner that was amazingly impressive.

“
Good lord, Thomas. Get your shit together,” he chastised himself out loud. He put the Volvo in gear, and backed out of the ER parking lot. He was going home to take a pill, a cold shower, and get some ice for the knee that had taken on a life of its own. Colin suddenly had a new life, a big life, and a life that made the erection look small and inept. He'd definitely take the shower and the pill. He'd give the knee a couple of days to heal, and then he had to start getting his act together. He wasn't a teenage boy. He was a grown man, with a grown man's life, and although he was terrified, he smiled. 

Thirty-four

At the designated time, Caitlin walked quietly to the doorway of Ella's hospital room. The visit was limited to five minutes, although the ICU had made a special allowance for Caitlin the previous night. Ella dozed in the bed, oblivious to the whirring and beeping of the machines monitoring her every breath and heartbeat. It reminded Caitlin of the fragility of life, and suddenly she was filled with sadness. Fighting the urge to cry, she walked quietly across the room, and sat in a chair by the window.

“
Hi,” Ella whispered, and Caitlin turned away from the window.

“
Hi there,” Caitlin said softly. Ella reached for her hand, and she took it and held it tightly.

“
Something's different,” Ella said, and as always, Caitlin was amazed by her perception.

“
I saw him.”

“
Colin?”

“
Yes.”

“
How did that go?” Ella asked gently, and Caitlin smiled.

“
I told him I'd call him.”

“
And, did you?”

“
I will,” Caitlin said.

“
Good girl,” Ella said with a smile.

“
Can I ask you something, Ella?”

“
You can ask me anything.”

“
I'd like to know more about my real father.”

“
He was wonderful,” Ella said wistfully. “He was smart, but more importantly, he was wise. He was a good son to his mother, and a good friend, and he would have made a fine husband, and a wonderful father. He was a man of honor. I loved him immediately, Caitlin. I love him now, and I've loved him every day in between.”

“
I'm sorry he died.”

“
Oh my, dear girl, so am I. There is something so wrong with the universe when it takes a man like my Charles so young. He had so much to give this world, but at least he left something wonderful behind when he left it. He left us you.” There was something so beautiful about Ella when she spoke of the man she loved, and for a moment Caitlin couldn't speak.

“
There is something in that drawer, Cate. In the ugly metal table. It's a little box. Could you get it?”

Caitlin nodded. As promised, there was a worn velvet box inside the drawer.

“
Open it,” Ella encouraged, and Caitlin did. A tiny diamond ring on a gold chain lay nestled inside of the box. “I want you to have it,” Ella said, and Caitlin gasped. Ella had worn it every day of her life, and although Caitlin had never known why until recently, she knew how much the keepsake meant to her birth mother.

“
Oh, Ella. I couldn't.”

“
I want you to have it.”

“
This is from Charles,” Caitlin said, and although it wasn't a question, Ella nodded.

“
I'll never forget the night he gave it to me. We were walking along the canal. He asked me to sit on a bench along the water and wait for him, and I did. I sat there listening to the sound of the current, and the sounds of the night. Later he told me he had gone back to his truck to get a single rose, and that tiny ring. He knew that was the right moment. His hands shook when he gave it to me, and he cried. He knelt before me, and asked me to be his wife. I remember pausing for just a moment, which probably terrified him, but I needed to freeze the moment, like a picture. I remember the night's sounds were like a symphony, and I remember his beautiful blue eyes, and the tears on his face, and the ring he held in his fingers. He was a wonderful person, Caitlin. I've never stopped missing him.” 

“
That's a beautiful story, Ella.”

“
It is. Even in a life marked by tragedy, there are beautiful moments. Those are the ones that carry us through the hard times.” 

Caitlin knew that. She'd had moments like that in her life, and with Colin. She thought of the moment in the park, and was amazed at the similarity of it.

“
How could you part with this?” Caitlin asked. The ring and the memory of receiving it were so precious to Ella, and Caitlin couldn't imagine her giving it away.

“
I got something back,” Ella said with a gentle smile. Caitlin fingered the ring and chain as Ella watched her. “I finally got you,” Ella whispered.

“
I come with complications,” Caitlin said.

“
Everyone does,” Ella said. “I can't wait to see those babies. How are they?”

“
They're so sweet. Rogan is loud and demanding, and Hannah is so small and gentle. I love them so much, Ella.”

“
I can tell, child.”

“
Ella, I need to ask you something else. I'd like to write about this.”

“
A second book?”

“
No.”

“
Then what?”

“
My first book is going in the trash,” Caitlin said, and Ella winced. “Don't make a face. It was horrible and empty. I'd like to write about something beautiful and real. I'd like to write about us. I wouldn't have to use our names, but I'd like to tell our story.”

“
I'd like you to write about this, Caitlin. I want people to know about love, to believe in love, to be willing to fight for it. Someone needs to remind them of the value of it. The world seems to have forgotten. We've replaced love with technology and careers, and I think people have forgotten how important love is. I want you to help them remember.”

“
I want that, too.”

“
I never had the opportunity to teach you things. I never felt entitled to mother you, to show you what was important. I'll tell you everything if you promise me one thing.”

“
What's that?”

“
That you'll fight for this man you love.”

“
I promise,” Caitlin said, and it was a promise of intense depth, and one she intended to keep. She could live without Colin, but she didn't want to. She suddenly wanted things that never seemed important. She wanted to give something to the world, and she wanted a husband, and a family. The clock was ticking. Caitlin suddenly felt the passing of time as she never had. She didn't intend to waste any more of life on things that didn't matter. Once again she reached for Ella's hand, and they were joined by their fingers, their hearts, and the words they had shared, the promise that had been laid down like a gauntlet. 

“
I promise,” Caitlin repeated, and Ella smiled. She knew it was a promise her daughter would keep.

“
Caitlin?” the nurse said from the doorway, and Caitlin turned.

“
I'm sorry. Ella needs to rest,” the nurse said, and Caitlin nodded, before turning back to Ella, leaning down and gently kissing her cheek.

“
You get some sleep, Ella. I'll be back soon.”

“
I will. I love you, Caitlin. No matter what happens, please know that.”

“
I know. I love you too, Ella. I always will.”

***

From somewhere outside of a prescription drug haze, Colin Thomas heard something. He struggled to open his eyes, and as he did, the pain in his leg hit him full force.

“
Holy shit!” he said, coming fully awake.

He rolled over and checked the time on the clock on his bedside table. Red numbers glowed back at him. It was only 3:52, and he sighed with relief. He still had some time before he had to meet Rosario. They had decided to meet at the restaurant at 7:00.

As Colin struggled to sit up, he heard a knock on his front door, and he realized it was the same sound he had heard in his sleep. Someone was at the door. Someone persistent. “Shit,” he grumbled, as he wobbled to his feet. “Jeez,” he hissed, feeling as though his leg was on fire. The pain made his stomach roll, and he clenched his teeth against it. “Coming!” he roared. “Who is it?”