The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (27 page)

Things have been changing between us lately. It’s been a couple of years since our relationship has sort of changed. Sure, we’ve spent weekends together when he’s been in town or I’ve come to Chicago to be with him, but he’s always kept me at a distance, reiterating that he couldn’t be the man he thought I needed. I’ve watched the parade of bimbos that have drifted in and out of his life since then, but those stolen moments between the two of us have begun to mean something to me and hopefully him too.

He’s just recently moved here to St. Louis to open a nightclub and with Gabe always away, we’ve had free reign to be together in whatever capacity this is.

He returns with an older nurse following behind him. Nico stands on the opposite side of the bed, holding my hand while the nurse takes my temperature. I’m glad to hear my fever has finally broken and that I’ll be able to go home today. When she steps out of the room, Nico tells me he’s going to go get me some clothes and my toiletries so I can shower before they discharge me.

It doesn’t take long before he returns with a bag slung over his shoulder. While he was gone, the doctor came in and gave me the rundown. Then the nurse unhooked my IV. She offered to help me shower, but I wanted to wait until Nico got back with my stuff.

The nurse leaves us alone and Nico helps me up get off the bed. My legs wobble for a minute, but before I can take a step, Nico’s got me up in his arms.

“Nico, what are you doing? I can walk.”

“I know you can,
bella
. Let me take care of you please.” How can I deny his request when he asks so sweetly?

When we’re inside the small bathroom, I’m totally expecting him to step out so I can shower. Instead he ignores my protests and begins to untie the hospital gown. He tells me he’s seen me naked and to stop fighting him.

With extreme reluctance, I let him remove my gown after he turns the shower on. He helps me step into the tiny stall. I wince at first because I still ache all over and the water hurts my sensitive skin.

He has me place my head under the water to get my hair wet and then proceeds to wash my hair. Nico’s touch is gentle as he massages the shampoo into my hair. He rinses it and then conditions it. While the conditioner soaks into my hair, he squirts some of my shower gel onto my loofah and begins massaging my body from head to toe. It’s completely non-sexual, but the way he’s taking such good care of me brings tears to my eyes.

“Hey, no tears. Baby, do I need to get the nurse?”

“N-No, I’m okay. Thank you for doing this.”

He rinses me off and then dries me very carefully. Nico helps me into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt once I’m dry and then meticulously combs through my hair before pulling it back with a hair tie. I draw the line when he tries to brush my teeth for me, but he stands right behind me while I do it.

When he leads me out into the room, the nurse and an aide are entering the room with a wheelchair. The nurse hands Nico my discharge instructions while the aide helps get me settled in the wheelchair. It doesn’t go unnoticed to me that as we head downstairs, every single nurse aide is staring at him. I know he’s a beautiful man and women flock to him, but I really don’t want to see it happen right now when I feel so disgusting.

I look up at him and notice he’s paying them no mind. He catches me looking at him and flashes me that devilish smile of his and grabs my hand, holding it until we reach the doors. He runs to get his Camaro.

“Your boyfriend is going to take such good care of you, I can tell.” I look behind me at one of the nurse aides and she gives me a knowing smile. “I see couples a lot, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off of you or stopped touching you since you got in this chair.”

I shake my hand and smile as a warm feeling washes over me. Maybe there’s hope for us after all.

Chapter Six

Nico

I make my way down the hall, toward the sound of laughter coming from the sitting room. Mila and Jill are curled up on the sofa together, watching Mom sing to Nicola. Both women smile wide as they watch Nica bop her head up and down. My eyes stay locked on Jill and my heart beats like mad in my chest. She’s even more beautiful than when I first met her. When she was eighteen, she still had that young woman softness to her, but now? Now she’s lean, almost too lean, and has more defined curves. Her breasts are fuller, probably from Nicola. Her face is more angular, but her lips are still kissably full.

God, I’ve missed her. I know she’s been avoiding being alone with me since dinner last week. A part of me is still hurt by her dismissal of me, by her telling me she didn’t want me to be part of our daughter’s life, but then all of the times I hurt her flows through my mind and I can’t blame her. She was protecting our daughter, and it sickens me that she had to protect her from me and my horrible behavior.

All I want before they go back to America is the chance to make things right between me and Jill. I love her and I know somewhere inside her, she still has to feel some love for me. The thought of them leaving has caused an ache to start to form in my chest.

Jill looks up and catches me staring at her, but I can’t look away. We are locked in some sort of stare down. I walk further into the room, not taking my eyes off of her. Her cheeks turn the most adorable shade of pink and a little kernel of hope takes root in my chest.

“Nico?”

I turn to my mom, who’s watching us with a silly grin on her face. Nica reaches for me when she sees me step closer to them.

I pick her up and kiss her cheeks. “Hi, my darling girl.
Tuo papà
loves you.” I look at my mom and ask, “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m tired and my stomach is a little upset,
mio figlio.
Nica snuggles have made it all better, though.” She smiles fondly at her granddaughter, who I set down on the floor a few seconds ago.

I sit down on the arm of the chair, grab my mom’s hand, and kiss it. “Can I get you anything?”

“No thank you. I’m going to go lie down. Jill, will you and Nica come help me?” she says as I help her out of the chair. Jill gets up and grabs Nica and the three of them walk out of the room.

Mila tells our mom that she’ll be up in a minute and I move to sit by her. “How is she really?”

“She seems to be handling it okay. Of course tomorrow could be a different story, but she just seems to be fatigued today. The tea seems to help settle her stomach and you got her anti-nausea meds, and if it gets worse we can start giving her those.” She looks toward the doorway, referring to Nica’s snuggles. “She still loves you. I can see it all over her face.”

“I hurt her, a lot. She could’ve lost Nicola because of me.”

My sister grabs my hand. “Yes, she could’ve, but she didn’t. Yes, you hurt her, but you were sick. Don’t give up hope. She wouldn’t be here with your daughter if she didn’t still feel something.”

“Yes, she would. She loves Mom.”

“She may love Mom, but she loves you too. You have two weeks to spend with them and maybe finally talk to her. Explain things to her. Nico, she still doesn’t know about Dad or Ava. You need to tell her and then maybe she’ll understand the why.” She stands up. “I’m heading home, but I’ll be back in the morning.”

I walk her out and watch her drive away before heading back inside. I find Jill trying to grab her bag off of the floor with a sleeping Nicola in her arms. “Here, let me take her.”

I grab my daughter out of her arms and hold her close to my chest. I bury my nose in her hair, loving her baby powder scent as I hug her close.

“Are you ready to head back to the hotel?” I ask.

“Yeah, if that’s okay. Your mom’s sleeping, but I don’t want her to wake up and find you gone.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go let her know. I’ll be right back.”

We’re both silent as I take them back to the hotel. I carry the baby inside, and while Jill excuses herself, I change Nicola’s
nappy
and put her little sleeper on. My girl is so tired that she doesn’t even stir when I pick her up and lay her in her cot. She pops her thumb into her mouth and rolls to her side. I stroke a hand over her dark hair before bending down to kiss her forehead.

Jill stands next to me. “She sleeps so soundly. I could run the sweeper right next to her and she wouldn’t even stir. I think she’s so used to being around Gabe and his booming voice that nothing could wake her.”

“Yes, I imagine so. Your brother has a big mouth,” I say with a laugh. She stifles a yawn with the back of her hand. “Mila or I will be back in the morning to get you, but I’ll make sure we call first.”

“That sounds good.” She follows me to the door. “Thanks for bringing us back.”

I tell her goodnight and wait until she shuts the door and locks it.

When I reach my car, I climb in and rest my head against the seat. It’s time I tell her everything. I hope to God she understands why I was fucked up and constantly sabotaged what we had. I want nothing more for her to forgive me and for us to be a family, but I need to be realistic. It may be too late for us.

No matter what, I want nothing more than to be a part of my daughter’s life. Will it be hard to watch Jill fall in love with someone else? Of course, but if I can’t have her back, than I want her to be happy, even if it’s with another man.

God, just the thought of that makes my stomach twist. Hopefully soon, she’ll give me the chance to tell her everything.

***

I wake to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I look at my phone. It’s only five in the morning. I throw back the covers and slip on the pair of sweats lying on the end of my bed. I open the door and find Gaia on the other side. My baby sister made herself my protector after the whole Ava debacle, but she needs to lay off Jill. If anything, she should be mad at me. I’m the one that has hurt Jill over and over, not the other way around.

“What are you doing here this early?” I open the door further and let her into my room. She walks to where the picture of Jill and Nicola hangs on my wall and stares at it. “Is Mom okay?”

She turns to me. “Yes, she’s still sleeping. I just couldn’t sleep, so I came here a little while ago. There was no sense in sitting at home when I could be here in case she needs me.”

My sister is a nurse and has been for the last eight years. She was instrumental in finding Mom the best oncologist when her doctor found the growth on her ovary.

She turns back to the picture and looks at it thoughtfully. “Jill is very beautiful. Nicola looks like both of you.”

I move until I’m standing next to her. “Yes, she is and yes, she does.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been very nice to her. It’s just after all of the stuff with Ava and how fucked up you were after that, I’m not very trusting of women with my only brother. I’m just scared of you getting hurt like that again.”

“I know it was bad, but Gaia, I love Jill more than I ever loved Ava and I hurt Jill not one time, but multiple times over ten years. She and Nica almost died because of me, all because I was afraid of her hurting me first and doing something like what Ava did. Please make an effort with her. If she ever forgives me, I want nothing more than to make a life with her and our daughter. I can’t have you making her uncomfortable.” I turn to my sister and place both hands on her shoulders. “I love you, but you need to please try with her. Give her a chance. She is not Ava. She’s such a beautiful soul and a wonderful mother to your niece. Can you do that for me? Please?”

Even though it is semi-dark in my room, I can see the glossiness of Gaia’s eyes before a tear escapes and runs down her cheek. “I promise, and I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Mom and worried about you and I’m just a little stressed. Please forgive me, and I promise you I will try to be nicer to her. Maybe Mila and I can take her out for a little bit if Mom’s okay with Nica.”

“I think that’s a great idea and I’ll stay here with them. I’ll let you ladies have some girl time.” I wrap my arms around my baby sister and hug her tight. “You are pretty amazing,” I whisper against her temple. “Now get out of here so I can go back to sleep. Wake me when Mom gets up.”

Gaia slips quietly out of my room and I sit on the end of the bed with my head in my hands. I hate reliving the past, but it’s my only hope for us to move forward.

***

Jill

I put the phone on speakerphone. Jasmine’s voice comes over the line. “His sisters are taking you out tonight? That’s great, right?”

“It is. I’m just nervous. Up until today, Gaia hasn’t been very friendly, but I can tell she’s trying. I’m not sure what changed, but I’m okay with it. You should see them with Nica, Jazzy. They love her so much and she loves them. It’s going to be hard to leave them when we come home.”

Just the thought of not seeing them all when we leave makes my chest hurt because I’ve grown to love Martine, even more than I already do. Mila is so sweet and we are so much alike. Gaia? Well, Gaia is trying, so I can’t fault her for that. Plus, she loves her niece. Then there’s Nico, and I don’t even know what to think about him. I can tell he’s changed. Something has settled inside him and he no longer seems as troubled as he used to be.

“How’s Martine feeling? You said she had her first chemo treatment, right?”

“She’s doing well, considering. She’s just exhausted, but Nico is staying with her tonight while she watches Nica. I told him that maybe it wasn’t a good idea, but his mom practically pushed me out the door to come back to my room to get ready. How’s my little nephew? I miss him.” Speaking of nephew, I can hear his little baby squeaks in the background.

“He’s great. I just wish he’d sleep through the night, but he usually nurses and then goes right back to sleep. Your brother says hi, by the way. He was worried about you after your call last week.”

Ugh, I wish I hadn’t called him when I was having a moment. He’s so overprotective of me. Sometimes it’s suffocating. “Tell him I’m okay and I’ll call him tomorrow. How’s Jordy?”

They still haven’t caught the guys who jumped him, but it’s been over a year since it happened, so they probably never will. He’s changed since then. He’s more quiet and reserved, but he’s been a damn good uncle, not only to Gabe Jr., but to Nicola too.

“He’s good. He and Mom are coming over tonight for a cookout,” she says, but then I hear little man start screaming on the other line. “My little piglet’s hungry. Have fun tonight and we’ll talk later. I love you, girlie.”

“I love you too. Kiss my baby for me.” We disconnect and I go back to getting ready.

I’m applying my soft, candy apple red lip gloss when I hear a knock on my hotel room door. I check myself in the mirror. I straightened my hair until my caramel locks fell sleek and smooth down just past my bra strap. I made my eyes smoky and lined them in a black kohl liner. I added just a hint of bronzer to my cheeks. I wasn’t sure what to wear. I didn’t really pack for the nightclub scene, so earlier Mila brought me a red cocktail dress and black strappy heels. Thank God we’re about the same size.

The dress is sliming and hits me mid-thigh. It’s got capped sleeves and the neckline shows off some cleavage. It flares a little at the waist, which makes me want to twirl around to see if it floats up.

I look out the peephole and find both Mila and Gaia standing on the other side. When I open the door, I immediately feel intimidated. They’re both in dresses similar to mine, but they both have curves that I’ve never had. I’ve always been lean, but at least I have boobs.

“
B
ellissima
! I knew that dress would look wonderful on you!” Mila exclaims as she turns me around to look me over. Her curly dark locks are pinned up on both sides and her makeup is similar to mine. Gaia’s curls are wild and surround her beautiful face. Her makeup is more subdued, but she’s managed to make her eyes really stand out.

Gaia has been treating me nicely all day today. At first I thought I was imagining things when she came with Nico to pick us up this morning. She even brought me a to-go cup of coffee from the café by their mom’s house. On the way to their mom’s, she asked me about being a social worker and told me about the social workers here and what it’s like to be a nurse. She’s a very intelligent woman.

When we got to their mom’s house, Mila was already there and was taking Martine’s meds to her. Even though the woman was sick to her stomach and couldn’t seem to get enough sleep, she still insisted on visiting with us and getting her Nica snuggles. Gaia made some homemade pastini chicken noodle soup for everyone. It was delicious. Heck, she even let me help her clean up after we all ate.

“You guys look amazing,” I tell them as I grab my little purse.

Gaia smiles and tells me thank you.

I follow them out into the hall and down to the street, where a cab is waiting. Gaia turns to me. “Nico is going to come get us when we are ready to come home. We’re all staying at Mom’s tonight. Is that okay?”