The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (23 page)

I really like his family. The only member of his family I’ve yet to meet is his sister, Jill. Today, she’s graduating from high school and then we’re all going out for a celebratory dinner.

I check my phone when we sit down to see if Crystal, the chick I met last night, has texted me about hooking up tonight. She was a fantastic fuck, and I definitely want to hit that again before we head back to Chicago.

I put away my phone when the ceremony starts. It’s the same old, same old. I’m wearing sunglasses so no one can tell that my eyes have glazed over from boredom. I zone out until I hear them call Jill’s name. I open my eyes and catch sight of a tall brunette walking across the stage. It’s too damn bright out, and I can’t make out her features. I’ve seen her pictures and know she’s a cute girl, but I’m curious about what she looks like in person.

When the ceremony is finally over, we make our way out onto the field so we can greet Jill. Both women and men stop to talk to Gabe. He plays football for the Chicago Bears and has made a name for himself as a hard-hitting tight end.

He’s polite to them as he brushes them off to get to his sister. That’s what I respect most about him. His family is his top priority, especially his baby sister.

Time freezes when we find Jill, who is running toward us with the biggest smile on her face. She’s fucking stunning: lean, but with curves; almond-shaped brown eyes that are almost too big for her face. Her button nose and kissable, full lips mesmerize me, but then it hits me like a freight train. She’s only eighteen, and I’m twenty-eight. She’s also my best friend’s baby sister.

I watch Gabe wrap his arms around her and spin her around. She hugs him tightly until he finally sets her down on her feet and holds her at arm’s length. I can’t help it. I step closer to them to get a better look at her.

Gabe looks at his stepdad and says, “You got a gun?”

Rich, Gabe’s stepdad, looks at Gabe and me and then his daughter. “Damn straight I do.”

They both laugh. Jill’s cheeks turn red. When she looks up and her eyes meet mine, she goes still and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Hi,” she says in a quiet, breathy voice that makes me think bad, bad things.

“Ciao
, bella
.” Without even thinking, I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth, kissing the back of it slowly. I watch her through my lashes, and she turns a deeper shade of red. A bright smile stretches across her face.

“Easy, dude,” Gabe growls. “Jill, this is Nico. Nico, my sister, Jill.”

She greets her mom and dad. Gabe stands next to me.

“Don’t even say it. I was just teasing her,” I say, hoping he’ll believe me.

After taking pictures, we make our way to the restaurant. I’m sitting in the backseat with Jill plastered against my side. Her mom is on the other side. The little minx keeps bumping her leg against mine. I can’t tell if it’s accidental or intentional, but damn if I’m not thinking highly inappropriate thoughts about her.

That chick better text me tonight because I have a feeling if she doesn’t, I’m going to explode, and I have no intention of touching Jill at all.

***

Dinner was great. Watching Jill and Gabe interact with each other was fun, but it makes me miss my sisters terribly. I’ll be visiting them in a couple of months.

Gabe and I drop his parents off and tell them we’re taking Jill out. Her dad reminds us that she’s eighteen and to not get her into trouble, but he says it with a smile on his face. I get in the front with Gabe as we head to our hotel.

Gabe had a personal shopper grab a few dresses and matching shoes for Jill so that they would be waiting back at the hotel for her. Gabe is taking us to a private party at a big hotspot in town. For the night, the club is open for eighteen-year-olds and over. I’ll make sure she gets to have a drink.

I listen silently as she tells her brother about getting accepted into the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Gabe hasn’t told Jill yet that he plans on paying for some of her tuition her first year and then renting her an apartment the following years so she doesn’t have to stay in the dorms. The guy seriously spoils her, but surprisingly, she doesn’t act like she’s spoiled.

We reach the hotel and make our way up to the suite. I watch their retreating backs as Gabe and Jill head into Gabe’s room. I’m not sure what to do, because I know how close they are and I feel like I’m intruding on their time together, especially since they don’t get to see each other as often as Gabe would like to.

Through the open doorway, I watch Gabe show her the dresses. She hops up and down, her tits bouncing, and I swear to God my dick is going to get me killed if Gabe or Jill notices that I’m hard. I’m a fucking pervert.

I walk to the bar and pour myself a drink. After I slam down the amber color liquid, I turn to see that Gabe has joined me. “Help me keep an eye on her tonight. I don’t want her getting into trouble or anyone messing with her.”

I don’t even need to think about my answer. “Yeah, of course.”

Twenty minutes later, she comes out of the bedroom. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself. I swear Gabe’s doing this shit on purpose. Her dress is a red halter top with a full skirt that goes to her knees. There’s nothing revealing or sexy about the dress, but it’s just doing it for me. This is going to be a long fucking night.

***

At the club, the music flows loudly around us. Gabe is talking to a friend of his, so Jill and I are sitting on a little sofa in the VIP lounge.

When we first sat down, she seemed really nervous, especially when I sat next to her. The waitress brought a bottle of champagne for us, and Gabe poured Jill a small glass and told her it was pop after that. Of course, I gave her a little more when Gabe got up. I wasn’t trying to get her drunk, but it was her graduation night. She was entitled to let loose. Plus, neither Gabe nor I would let anything happen to her.

Jill’s been dancing in her seat for the past half hour. Gabe got pulled away again to talk to another player from his team. I can tell Jill wants to dance, but Gabe told her not to go alone.

I know I’m going to regret this as soon as I stand up and reach my hand out to her. “Dance with me,
bella.
”

She reaches out a hand to me. I can tell her cheeks are pink, even in the dim lighting. With a chuckle, I lead her out onto the packed dance floor. This could prove to be very bad, but right now I don’t care.

I wrap my arms around her waist. She licks her lips as she stares up at me. Her arms make their way up my chest until she wraps them around my neck.

When I pull her in close, we begin to move. This is so wrong, but fuck, she feels good against me. She holds my stare as we dance. Jill rubs her pelvis against me, growing bolder as time goes on. My hand slides down to her ass. I pull her even closer to me.

The bass thumps around us and I’m fighting hard against the urge to claim her lips. Her fingers move up into my hair. I need to stop this right now before I cross a line that there’s no turning back from. I push her away from me and ignore her hurt expression.

I send Gabe a quick text, telling him I’m leaving. When I step outside, I text Crystal, who texted me two hours ago, and tell her to meet me at the hotel.

***

That night started so great, but it ended with me hating myself. I left my door open to my room in the suite so when Gabe and Jill got back, she would see me fucking…whatever that chick’s name was.

Jill didn’t speak to me again after that for a long time, but I got what I wanted. I pushed her away, and I hated the feeling it invoked. Plus, Gabe was pissed at me, and I couldn’t tell him the real reason I did it. I just let him think it was me being an inconsiderate asshole.

The captain calls over the intercom that we’re preparing to land. My heart starts pounding in my chest and perspiration dots my forehead. I close my eyes and pray for strength to get through this so I can get my family back.

Chapter Two

Jill

Fourteen Months Later

As I stare out of my office window, I can’t help but smile. My baby girl is going to be one in a few days. It seems like only yesterday that I was holding a tiny screaming Nicola in my arms. She may have been a tiny newborn, but she certainly caught up with herself. Now she’s my little chunk. When I saw her for the first time, I knew I had to name her after Nico.

Though things didn’t work out with him, how could I not name his daughter after him when she looks just like him? I love my baby girl so much it hurts, but it hurts because she’s a reminder of the love I feel, still, for her father. Yes, he hurt me over and over again, but he burrowed himself so deep in my heart that the feelings will probably never go away.

My brother, Gabe, and his wife, who is also my best friend, Jasmine, are having Nicola’s party at their place. I don’t think I can ever repay them for all they’ve done for me over the past year. Jasmine and my mom were in the delivery room with me when I had my little princess. Gabe made me stay with them the first few weeks after I gave birth to her because I had postpartum depression.

To be honest, I think I had postpartum depression because Nico should’ve been there with me when our daughter came into the world, but at the time of her birth, he was in New York at a rehab facility. He reached out to me the whole time he had been there. He sent letters, emails, and even flowers and a teddy bear the day I had her, but I never responded. Sure, I read every letter and every email, but I never wrote back.

How do you respond or forgive the man that stole your heart and then shattered it into a million tiny pieces? I started talking to a therapist shortly after Nicola’s birth. Between the postpartum depression and the pain caused by Nico, I felt broken, like a shell of my former self. I even started taking antidepressants, which helped immensely, so much so that last month I quit taking them.

I shake my head and look at my phone. It’s finally time to go. Before heading to Jasmine and Gabe’s to pick up my baby girl, I stop at Target to get the birthday present Nicola won’t even care about. The outfit she’s going to wear is adorable. Nico’s mom, Martine, sent it to us along with several other beautiful little dresses.

I’ll admit that it hurts that Nico hasn’t sent anything. No cards, no money, and no presents for Nicola. I guess it’s my own fault because the last time I spoke to him I told him that he was not Nicola’s father and that I didn’t want him around.

A part of me was hoping he’d fight for us. After rehab, I thought he’d come back to me, to us, but for once he actually listened to me. Hell, he even went as far as to sell his condo and let someone else run his club.

I shake off the melancholy and make my way to my brother’s house. My parents are in town for Nicola’s birthday and are probably already at Gabe’s house. I can’t wait to see them.

Sure enough, I see their rental is in the driveway. As soon as I enter, I’m bombarded by the noise of my family. I step into the kitchen and smile at the sight in front of me. My mom and Jasmine are at the stove. Gabe is sitting at the kitchen counter with Nicola standing on his lap, giving him her big, goofy smile while my dad looks on with a huge smile on his face, Gabriel Jr. cradled in his arms.

“Hey, guys!” I greet everyone and make my way around the kitchen, kissing and hugging everyone.

My baby girl throws herself at me, and I catch her in my arms. She babbles away, and I snuggle her close to my body. Her dark hair is really starting to curl. It looks like it’s going to be thick and wavy, like Nico’s.

I take her with me to my dad to kiss his cheek and then bend down to kiss my nephew’s forehead. When he was born, I told my brother I’d put Nicola in daycare since Jasmine had been watching her since I went back to work, but Jasmine called and chewed my ass out for even suggesting it.

“Are you staying for dinner?” My mom asks. “Sweetheart, you’ve gotten too skinny. I’m making your favorite: chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes.”

I agree to stay for dinner and have a great time, but as soon as we finish eating and cleaning up, I’m ready to head home. I’m beat and Nicola’s been waking up in the night the past couple of days. She’s cutting more teeth, so she’s been crabby.

I hug and kiss everyone and let Jasmine know that we’ll be over after lunch so I can help get everything ready for the party.

Gabe follows me outside. He waits quietly behind me while I buckle my girl into her car seat. I kiss her forehead and then step back so Gabe can give her a kiss as well.

Fatherhood and marriage have done amazing things to him. He’s always been a great guy, but he is so full of love and happiness these days that it makes me deliriously happy. If anyone deserves it, it’s Jasmine and him. They’re the kind of couple that you can’t help but feel the love that they have for each other.

“How are you doing, kid? Things okay? You’d tell me if they weren’t, right?”

He’s always worrying about Nicola and me. “I’m fine. We’re good. Wait until you see Nicola’s dress for tomorrow. Martine sent it to me. It’s beautiful. I promised her that we’d FaceTime her when it’s time to sing happy birthday to Nica and let her eat her little cake.”

“Have you gotten anything for her from Nico?”

Ugh! I wish he wouldn’t bring Nico up. I don’t want to think about him anymore today than I already have.

“Nope.” His jaw hardens. “Gabe, it’s okay. I told him that I didn’t want him to have anything to do with her. He’s giving me what I want.” The words burn my throat as I say them.

“He should’ve fought for you. He should’ve come back here after treatment. He shouldn’t be in Italy right now. He shouldn’t be missing his daughter’s first birthday.” I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him.

“Gabe, it’ll be fine. She’s happy, I’m happy…ish, and maybe someday I’ll meet a nice guy who will fight for me and Nicola. I love you for worrying, but we’re okay, I promise.”

He hugs me tight and makes me promise to let him know if I need anything at all.

By the time I pull into my driveway, my little girl is screaming her little head off. I get her inside and sit on the couch with her snuggled up on my lap with a bottle. While she eats, I flip through the channels and settle on a Modern Family rerun.

Gabe’s words run through my head and sadness washes over me. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m a single mother, but that still doesn’t stop the pain. Not for one second do I regret whatever the hell you’d call what we had. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have my beautiful little princess. She’s my reason to get up every day. She’s the reason why I smile and why I don’t cry all of the time.

Once Nica’s done eating, I change her diaper, put her jammies on, and lay her down in her crib. I know she had a fun day at her aunt and uncle’s house, so it only takes a minute before she’s zonked out.

I smile down at her when she pulls her legs in and sticks her little booty up in the air, something she always does as soon as she’s out. I give her butt a little pat before I turn the baby monitor on and make my way back into the living room. I turn on the TV and sit back, but my mind drifts to Nico.

***

I clip back Nicola’s hair and look my birthday girl over. Her dress is a light shade of lavender. The bottom is made of tulle and looks a little like a tutu. Her tights are the kind with the ruffles on the butt.

Once I slip her shoes on, I grab my phone and take her picture. My baby girl loves getting her picture taken and gives me a huge toothy grin. I send a quick text to Martine along with the picture I just took of the birthday girl. A minute later, I get a text back.

Martine: Oh my goodness, Bella! I knew the dress would be perfetto.

Jill: Thank you so much for it and the others. Don’t forget, we’ll Facetime with you when it’s time to sing happy birthday. We love you!

Martine: I can’t wait, and love you! Kiss my beautiful granddaughter for me :-)

I put Nicola’s present and cake in the car. Then I grab the birthday girl and buckle her in.

Right after she was born, I had to get rid of my Mini Cooper. For one, it was totaled after my accident, and two, it was a two-door. Getting the carrier in and out of it would’ve been hard. Gabe helped me pick out a Highlander that I absolutely love. It’s so much easier getting the baby in and out of it. Plus, I feel safer driving her around in it when there is snow on the ground.

We pull into Gabe’s driveway and park behind Jordan’s car. He’s Jasmine’s twin brother.

“Hey, kiddo!” Gabe shouts as he comes toward me. He picks me up in a bear hug and spins me around.

I laugh. “Put me down, you big jerk.” Nicola squeals from inside the SUV. “Do you want to grab her or her cake?”

Of course, he takes my girl out of the car and walks to the house before I can even blink. I shake my head and grab the cake and her present out of the back.

My mom calls Martine via FaceTime on Gabe’s laptop as I strip Nicola out of her dress and tights and sit her on the kitchen table. We all say hi and wave when my mom sets the laptop down on the other end of the table.

My dad brings the little cake over, places the big candle in the middle, and lights it. We all begin to sing. Nicola looks at us all like we’re crazy. When it’s time to blow out her candle, I help blow it out, and she claps along with the rest of us when we cheer. I pull the candle out, grab her hand, and shove it into the cake.

At first she doesn’t know what to think and just stares at her frosting-covered hand. Then she shoves it all into her mouth and lets out a delighted squeal. I take picture after picture as she attacks her cake with vigor. By the time she’s done, she’s covered from head to toe in frosting.

My mom takes Nicola upstairs for a bath. After we say goodbye to Martine, Jasmine feeds Gabe Jr., so I take it upon myself to start cleaning up the mess all over the table. How one little girl can make such a big mess is beyond me. While I’m wringing out the washcloth, my dad comes up next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“I can’t believe she’s a year old already,” he says.

“You’re telling me. She’s gearing up to take her first steps, and I can hardly believe it.”

He kisses my temple. “Do you need anything? Money? Whatever?” That’s my dad for you. He spoils us girls often.

“No, Dad. We’re good. I promise, I’d tell you if we weren’t.” I wrap my arms around his thick waist.

“Okay, I just worry about my girls.” My dad has always been very protective of me. After my accident, his protectiveness got more extreme, and when Nicola was born, it multiplied by twenty.

I talk to him more now than I ever did before, but he’s just smitten with his granddaughter. Every day he calls for updates, like so much has changed in twenty-four hours, but I humor him.

“I know, Dad. Things are great, I promise.”

I can’t admit to my dad that I’m lonely and I’m afraid I’m slipping back into a funk that I can’t pull myself out of. Jasmine constantly encourages me to go out on dates, but so far, I’ve declined. Maybe it’s time to put myself out there.

***

Nico

I sit at my mama’s dining room table and out of the way of the camera on the laptop as I listen to Jill’s sweet voice come over the speaker while they all sing happy birthday to my daughter, the daughter I don’t know at all.

A part of me is angry that Jill never responded to any of my letters or emails while I was in treatment, but then the rational part of me recognizes that I’ve hurt her over and over again and I’m getting what I deserve.

Of course, the drug treatment specialist I see tells me that it was my addiction that hurt her. I know that’s true, but it still doesn’t make that bitter pill any easier to swallow. Even now, when I think of that day, my stomach clenches. I could’ve lost both of them, and for what? Because I was sick and hell-bent on destroying the only woman I’ve ever loved.

My mama’s eyes glisten as she stares intently at Nicola attacking her first birthday cake. I should be there, and it causes an ache in my chest that I’m not. The first time I saw Nicola’s picture, I cried like a big ole pussy. She’s a beautiful little girl. According to my mom, she looks just like I did as a baby.

I was shocked when I found out that Jill named Nicola after me. It gave me a little bit of hope for us, which was dashed when she never responded to my attempts to talk.

I hate that it’s come to this, but Gabe has become my eyes and ears. He’s been sending me pictures since the day my little girl was born.

My sister, Mila, draws and paints. She took my favorite picture of Jill and Nicola and turned it into a drawing. It’s a picture from right after her birth. Jill’s lying back with her eyes closed, and Nicola is on her chest. Nicola’s little baby fist is up against her own mouth, both of them oblivious to their surroundings. My sister even had it framed for me. Now it hangs on the wall in my room.