The Guestbook (21 page)

I’M SO PARANOID THAT ANNIE WILL RAT ME OUT I’VE TIED HER TO A CHAIR. SHE PUT UP QUITE THE STRUGGLE; SHE’S SURPRISINGLY STRONG FOR SOMEONE SO SMALL. I HAD TO KNOCK HER OUT IN ORDER TO TIE HER UP.

ANNIE HAS BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW, I HOPE SHE’S OK.

SHE FINALLY WOKE UP. SHE WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BEING TIED UP. SHE WAS TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE POLICE SO I GAGGED HER. I NEED TIME TO THINK, I DON’T NEED HER YAPPING IN MY EAR.

THE NEWS IS STILL NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THE MURDER. I WONDER IF THEY HAVE FOUND ANTHONY’S BODY YET.

I SHOULD HAVE HIDDEN IT, DISPOSED OF IT IN SOME WAY. BUT I COULD HARDLY LEAVE OUR LITTLE RED BRICK DETACHED HOUSE, IN OUR RED BRICK DETACHED CUL-DE-SAC, WITH ALL THE STEPFORD WIVES CHATTING INANELY OVER THE GARDEN FENCE WITH A DEAD BODY UNDER MY ARM.

OF COURSE I DIDN’T WANT TO KILL HIM. THAT WASN’T MY INTENTION. I JUST WANTED TO HURT HIM LIKE HE’D HURT ME. BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD. I JUST PANICKED AND RAN.

AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT. OLIVER BLACK HAS JUST TURNED UP OUTSIDE ANNIE’S HOUSE. HE HAS KNOCKED ON HER DOOR SEVERAL TIMES AND HAS NOW JUST GONE ROUND THE BACK, PEERING THROUGH THE WINDOWS.

I’VE NEVER LIKED HIM MUCH. HE ALWAYS USED TO BE IN THE NEWSPAPERS EVERY WEEK ON THE ARM OF A DIFFERENT WOMAN. THE PAPERS LOVE HIM. WHAT HAPPENED TO LOYALTY AND FIDELITY? THEY USED TO BE TRAITS TO BE VALUED. SO WHY THE PAPERS RAISE HIM UP TO GOD LIKE STATUS FOR BEING A COMPLETE SLUT I DON’T KNOW.

HE’S BEEN WITH VIVIENNE LAKE RECENTLY, FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS. THOUGH IF I REMEMBER RIGHTLY THE PAPERS HAVE LINKED HIM TO HIS SISTER-IN-LAW ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS AND POOR VIVIENNE KEEPS ON TAKING HIM BACK.

OLIVER HAS JUST TEXT ANNIE’S PHONE ASKING WHERE SHE IS. IT SEEMS THEY KNOW EACH OTHER.

JUST BEEN FLICKING BACK THROUGH THIS BOOK AND IT SEEMS THEY KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL. WHORE.

HE’S JUST TEXT HER AGAIN, TELLING HER TO GET BACK TO HER HOUSE QUICKLY BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HAVE HER ACROSS THE DINING TABLE.

URGH! HE’S JUST SENT HER THREE MORE TEXTS SAYING WHAT HE WANTS TO DO TO HER, EACH ONE MORE CRUDE THAN THE ONE BEFORE.

BASTARD! POOR VIVIENNE LOOKS SO SAD RECENTLY IN THE PAPERS AND ALL THE TIME HE’S SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND HER BACK FUCKING ANNIE BUTTERWORTH.

I’VE JUST TEXTED HIM BACK TELLING HIM HE’S A ‘SPINELESS WANKER WITH A VERY SMALL PRICK’.

HE’S JUST PHONED HER MOBILE BUT OF COURSE I DIDN’T ANSWER. THOUGH I THINK HE HEARD THE PHONE RINGING IN HERE, BECAUSE HE’S JUST BEEN PEERING THROUGH THE WINDOWS. THANKFULLY THE COTTAGE HAS NET CURTAINS SO HE CAN’T SEE THAT ANNIE IS TIED TO A CHAIR IN THE KITCHEN.

SO ANNIE IS JUST LIKE THAT FUCKING WHORE RACHEL THAT ANTHONY WAS SCREWING. THE OTHER WOMAN.

I’VE OFTEN WONDERED ABOUT RACHEL, WHETHER SHE KNEW ABOUT ME OR NOT. OR WHETHER ANTHONY PLAYED HER AS WELL. BUT THERE WERE SO MANY LATE NIGHT MEETINGS AND SECRET LIAISONS; I FIGURED SHE HAD TO KNOW THAT HE WAS MARRIED. THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT KIND OF WOMAN WOULD SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN’S HUSBAND. WHAT KIND OF BITCH WOULD DO THAT?

NOW I HAVE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES TIED UP IN THE KITCHEN.

OH REVENGE SEEMS SWEET INDEED.

FOR ALL THOSE WOMEN THAT HAVE BEEN WRONGED, I CAN FINALLY EXACT JUSTICE.

SHIT. THE POLICE HAVE ARRIVED OUTSIDE. I’M NOT SURE WHETHER OLIVER HAS CALLED THEM OR THEY TRACED THE CALL FROM LAST NIGHT. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET ANNIE PHONE THEM. I WOULDN’T PUT IT PAST HER TO SOMEHOW TELL THEM WHERE I WAS.

OLIVER IS TALKING TO THEM NOW AND THEY’VE JUST STOPPED HIM FROM CHARGING BACK IN HERE.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I’M NOT GOING BACK. I’M NEVER GOING BACK.

AN ARMED RESPONSE UNIT HAS TURNED UP OUTSIDE.

NOW THERE ARE LOADS OF PAPARAZZI.

SHIT.

IF IT’S GOING TO END, I’M TAKING THE FUCKING WHORE WITH ME. WE CAN BOTH BURN IN HELL.

ANNIE HAS STARTED GROANING IN THE KITCHEN. SHE SAYS SHE FEELS SICK. I DON’T DO WELL WITH VOMIT.

KILLING HER WOULD STOP ANY VOMIT.

HER PHONE IS RINGING AGAIN.

I NEED TIME TO THINK.

NOW THEY ARE KNOCKING ON THE DOOR.

ANNIE IS STILL GROANING.

I’M TAKING HER TO THE TOILET. I SWEAR IF SHE TRIES ANYTHING I’LL FUCKING BREAK THE BITCH’S NECK.

Police Evidence. Case against Jessica Axe. Date of arrest 3
^rd
November 2014.

Just got this book back from the police. It seems it’s been almost a year since the last entry.

I own Willow Cottage now and the house next door. It’s a very successful business. Since I took it over three months ago, I’ve had guests stay here almost every week.

It seems this guestbook has proved very popular with the previous guests so it’s probably a good idea to reinstate it.

But I think customer confidentiality was breached by writing the customer’s names in the book. If you wish to write something in the book please do, but don’t feel you have to include your name unless you want to.

Andrew Drake. 31
^st
October 2015.

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6
^th
– 9
^th
November

Hetty and William Butterworth

It’s good to be back here again. After our wedding in April, we have spent six months travelling around South America, the States, Canada and Alaska. We have seen so much beauty and so much poverty. My favourite places to name but a few were Machu Picchu, The Galapagos Islands, New York, The Rockies and Alaska, all of Alaska, every single part of it, we may have to live there one day. We are staying here for a few days to catch up with friends and family before we move onto Europe and then the far east.

It’s a shame Annie isn’t here, it doesn’t feel right without her. I do miss her.

**********

13
^th
– 16
^th
November

Jake, Rosie and Poppy Hamilton

It’s been a while since we have been back. We have moved house, changed jobs. It’s been a busy year. Most importantly we have had a beautiful baby girl. After many, many months trying, I finally fell pregnant and Poppy Hamilton was born three months ago. I have never been happier.

Rosie Hamilton.

LIFE IS PERFECT NOW. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY DAMNED PERFECT BEFORE, BUT THEN I HELD POPPY IN MY ARMS AND KNEW THAT MY LIFE WAS COMPLETE. ROSIE HASN’T STOPPED GRINNING SINCE SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT. IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, I THINK I’VE FALLEN EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH HER.

JAKE

That’s not entirely true; the sleepless nights were nothing to smile about. Though I wouldn’t change them for one single second.

Where is Annie?

WE WERE SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ANNIE AGAIN AND INTRODUCING HER TO OUR LOVELY DAUGHTER.

JAKE

Sunday:

Had a lovely few days playing on the beach with Poppy.

Just been reading back through this book, where the hell is Annie, what happened to her?

**********

20
^th
– 23
^rd
November

The Meechams

We have been twice in the last year and both times we haven’t seen Annie, where is she?

The girls love it here, especially when we go out to see the seals. They are getting so big, I wonder how much longer quiet beach holidays and trips to see the seals will keep them amused. We were going to go out to Disneyland this year but the girls wanted to come back here.

Ha, looking back at our last comments, it’s hard to believe me and Ben argued over Barney. We so very rarely argue, so it seems silly that our first proper row was over that.

Barney got married a few months ago to a rather lovely girl called Sally Jenkins. We all came here for the wedding. I would have thought we would have seen Annie then, but she wasn’t there. I didn’t like to ask where she was, but now I’m getting worried, especially with the last messages in this book.

Rebecca Meecham

WHERE IS ANNIE BUTTERWORTH AND MR BUTTERWORTH? I’VE BEEN PRACTISING MY WRITING ALL YEAR AND MY TEACHER SAYS IT’S VERY GOOD.

MAX IS NO LONGER A PUPPY, HE GOT SO HUGE AND MOMMY WAS WORRIED HE MIGHT TURN INTO A HORSE. HE STILL LOVES PLAYING ON THE BEACH THOUGH.

MEGAN

THE SEALS WAS GRATE

ISABELLE

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27
^th
– 30
^th
November

MATT, LUCY, EMILY AND MIA

IT’S EMILY’S BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND AND SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD COME BACK HERE.

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE WEIRD TO BRING LUCY HERE WHEN WE HAVE SO MANY MEMORIES OF BEING HERE WITH CARA. LUCY HAS BEEN BRILLIANT THOUGH, SO SUPPORTIVE. THE GIRLS LOVE HER. I DO TOO.

MATT

Wait a minute. You haven’t told me you love me yet, but you’re quite happy writing it in this book?

Lucy

I WAS BUILDING UP TO IT.

I WAS KIND OF WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.

I love you too.

Awww isn’t that sweet.

Emily

Shut up squirt, I know you’re rolling your eyes in embarrassment right now. Yes I love your dad.

It is sweet. Very embarrassing, but very sweet. You’ve made him smile again. I like that. I’m only going to say this once and if you use it against me, I may have to shave your eyebrows, but I love you too.

Awww squirt!! That’s so nice.

Don’t go all sappy on me. I also love Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber, Olly Murrs and all of One Direction.

I love you and Mia very much.

Bleugh!!

WHERE IS DASH?

MIA XXX

That’s a good point, where is Annie and Dash?

MONDAY:

HAD A WONDERFUL WEEKEND WITH MY THREE FAVOURITE GIRLS.

ANNIE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WILL READ THIS, NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. BUT I’M HAPPY AGAIN. I HOPE YOU ARE TOO.

MATT

**********

For all those asking where Annie Butterworth is, I don’t know. I know very little about the previous owner, I suppose I should have asked. I thought she was an old lady who had died. I will ask around to see if any of the villagers know.

Andrew Drake

**********

4
^th
– 7
^th
December

Olly and Annie
Butterworth
Black

I’m here, I’m safe. I think explanations are in order, some of my old regular guests might be wondering what was the outcome of Jessica Axe’s little visit or might be wondering where I am and what I’m doing. Let me tell you.

Let me take you back to the weekend of Jessica Axe.

In fact, I need to go back to the weekend of Judy Fisher, when I fell down a ditch looking for Dash and couldn’t get back out. When the whole village came out looking for me. When Olly and I finally got together. I’m not sure what it was that finally brought him to his senses. Nick’s will probably had something to do with it. Nick’s pet name for me was ‘My Happiness,’ he called me that all the time. So when Judy was confused by Nick leaving Olly a feeling of happiness, it was clear to me and to Olly that Nick was actually giving me to Olly in his will. Or maybe it wasn’t that that brought me and Olly together, maybe it was just the right time or maybe it’s because I’m a sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I actually spat out my tea reading that.