The Guestbook (20 page)

You’re right. Maybe I’ll tell him that next time I see him. No sex for a month to see if we are compatible in other areas too.

I think that’s a bit hasty.

No it’s a wonderful idea, I’m sure as hell going to miss the sex but if we’re going to work then we have to know that we can talk, spend time together that’s not just about the physical. Thanks Olly.

Why are you scowling?

Thursday:

I’ve cheered up a bit now after our conversation yesterday.

I bet you have.

As Hetty is coming to stay this weekend for my Dad’s birthday, can I stay in your spare room? I’ll pay you rent if you like.

You are welcome to stay and you can pay me in other ways. I’ve got lots of little jobs that need doing around the house. The dining room table needs looking at, as does the shower, the floor boards in front of the fire are a bit wobbly and I still have that problem in the bedroom. The stairs too, I need you to look at the stairs.

The stairs? Really?

Yes!

**********

24
^th
– 27
^th
October

Hetty O’Donahue

I’m here for William’s birthday. Not a big one like me, he’s only a babby in comparison to my age, so no big party, just a meal out with close family and friends.

He’s only two years younger than you; he’s hardly a toy boy.

Are you excited to see him?

It’s William. He’s one of my oldest, dearest friends. I wouldn’t say I’m excited.

Really? Last time you were here, he told you he liked you, you seemed pretty excited about that.

Ok I am excited, a bit. But he’s hardly going to grab me and kiss me, he’s just not the grabbing sort. We’re both getting on a bit now, I can’t wait another twenty years for him to do something.

You could always grab him.

Oliver

Oh Olly, I’m an old fashioned girl at heart, a girl likes to feel loved, to be wooed. I want to feel that he loves me so much that he will walk over hot coals to tell me, not just shrug and think because we’re both single and get on ok we might as well be together.

He does love you Hetty. But you’re right he’s not the grabbing sort.

Like father, like son eh? When are you going to grab Annie and put aside this nonsense of betraying Nick?

Erm… Me and Annie are just friends. She’s with someone who she loves and I’m with Vivienne.

Rubbish. You two belong together.

Hetty, I can’t tell you much about the guy I’m with, at least not yet, and I wish I could, but I love him and boy did he grab me and show me how much he loved me. You need to hold out for that. Don’t settle for William if that’s not what the heart wants.

Oi! That’s my Dad.

I love William dearly, but you should never settle. Life is too short to waste it with someone you don’t love. Like you and I, Hetty and William will be friends for ever, nothing will change that, but true love doesn’t come around very often. You don’t want to miss it when it does come round because you are too busy with the person you settled for.

I wouldn’t be settling for William. I love him, I really do, but if I am going to be with him, I need to know that he feels the same way.

You love him?

Oh shut up.

Annie was that a dig at me?

Why would it be a dig at you?

About us?

No. There is no us. I’m with my man who I love very much and you’re with Vivienne. Plus you also have this other woman who lives in America.

Oh what a tangled web we weave.

You’re a writer; you’re supposed to be better than this at keeping track of all the twists and turns in the plot.

My life seems a lot more complicated at the moment. I’m not sure what I am allowed to say and what I’m not.

Then say nothing at all and come and help me with my problem.

The one in the bedroom again.

If you like.

Annie!!!

Have I missed something?

Saturday:

Going for a long walk with Sophia on the beach now. We are not, repeat NOT going to talk about William.

Yes we bloody well are.

Heading out shortly for William’s birthday meal. I’ve changed my outfit three times. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I’m sure nothing will happen. We’ll have our meal, we will all chat and there may be some dancing afterwards. William might look at me wistfully but that’s as far as it will go. So why am I getting butterflies in my stomach.

Sunday:

I erm… not really sure what to write here. I guess I should be honest and say that the walls between Willow Cottage and mine are very thin. I’m guessing, by the noises I heard last night that William not only grabbed you and told you he loved you but he grabbed you several times over.

I’m so happy for you, a little embarrassed, but very, very happy for you.

The walls are thin aren’t they? I felt so sorry for Olly having to lie in your spare room and listen to you and your new man go at it hammer and tongs. I know you’re trying to prove a point to Olly, I guess you’re trying to make him jealous, but think how much you are hurting him by carrying on like that. I honestly expected more of you than that.

And yes, William did tell me he loved me last night. I told him I was going to travel the world and he told me he would come with me. It turns out he does love me more than he loves his cows after all.

Hetty, I’m happy for Annie that she has found someone she loves again, I really am. Nothing has made me happier over the last few weeks than to see Annie walking round with a huge smile on her face. And after accidentally hearing my own Dad in the throes of passion last night, I put ear plugs in so I certainly didn’t hear Annie and her new man. I’m happy for you too Hetty, you both deserve it.

Oliver

I’m flying out to New York tonight for a few days to do some book stuff, so I imagine you’ll be gone by the time I get back. Though I’ll guess I’ll see you soon. You guys aren’t thinking of travelling until the new year are you?

Oliver

There’s stuff to sort out here first, not least our wedding, so it’ll probably be March or April before we leave.

Hetty

Good. Annie has something important to tell you, but I think she will have to sit on it for a few more weeks until things have been finalised.

**********

1
^st
– 8
^th
November

Jessica Axe

I’M NOT GOING BACK. NO ONE CAN MAKE ME.

I FOUND THE NUMBER FOR THIS PLACE AMONGST MY HUSBAND’S THINGS. I WAS GOING TO CALL IT TO FIND OUT WHAT MY HUSBAND WAS DOING HERE. THEN IT ALL WENT WRONG AND WHEN I FLED THIS WAS THE ONLY NUMBER I HAD ON ME.

I’VE READ MY EX-HUSBAND’S PREVIOUS MESSAGES IN THIS BOOK, DESPITE HIDING UNDER THE GUISE OF MR AND MRS JONES, ANTHONY’S HANDWRITING IS VERY DISTINCTIVE. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE BROUGHT THAT WHORE HERE, HE NEVER TOOK ME ANYWHERE.

URGH I FEEL SICK THAT HE FUCKED HER ON THE DINING TABLE, IN THE SHOWER, IN THE BED.

COMING HERE WAS A MISTAKE.

THOUGH I CAN’T GO BACK. I CAN NEVER GO BACK.

HE HAD A PLAN; HE SAID SO IN THIS BOOK. AND I FELL FOR IT HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. THE PLAN INVOLVED HIS BEST FRIEND RYAN.

I HAD BEEN SO SAD FOR MONTHS. ANTHONY WAS NASTY, SNIDE, CONSTANTLY ATTACKING ME, VERBALLY NOT PHYSICALLY, THOUGH HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HIT ME FOR THE PAIN HE CAUSED. I CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE MADE LOVE. HE STAYED OUT LATE AT WORK, WENT AWAY ON BUSINESS AT THE WEEKENDS. OF COURSE I KNEW HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR I JUST COULDN’T PROVE IT. THE MORE HE PULLED AWAY AND THE MORE HE TOLD ME I WAS FAT AND UGLY, THE MORE DEPRESSED I BECAME.

RYAN SEEMED TO BE MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR. HE WOULD COME ROUND, FIRSTLY ON THE PRETEXT OF CALLING ON ANTHONY WHEN HE WAS AWAY, THEN HE WOULD STAY AND WE WOULD CHAT. LATER HE CAME WHEN HE KNEW ANTHONY WAS AWAY. WE WOULD CHAT FOR HOURS AND HE MADE ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. I HAD SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR. BUT THE WHOLE TIME I WAS BEING PLAYED.

WE SLEPT TOGETHER. GOD I WAS DESPERATE TO BE TOUCHED, TO BE LOVED AGAIN. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT RYAN HAD VIDEOED THE WHOLE THING, THAT HE HAD BEEN ASKED TO COME ON TO ME SO THAT ANTHONY HAD GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ANTHONY’S SMUG FACE WHEN HE SERVED ME WITH THE DIVORCE PAPERS. HE THOUGHT HE HAD WON.

I SOON WIPED THE SMILE OFF HIS FACE. PERMANENTLY.

Hi Jessica. I just came by to see if you are ok. You came here so last minute and you sounded stressed when I spoke to you on the phone a few hours ago.

Annie Butterworth

I’M FINE. NOT STRESSED AT ALL ACTUALLY.

I FEEL FREE.

Good. If you need anything, let me know. Or if you just need to chat…

SUNDAY.

CRAP. MY PICTURE IS ON THE NEWS. NO STORY YET ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, JUST THAT I’M MISSING AND PEOPLE ARE WORRIED. OF COURSE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK FRIDAY AND SATURDAY AND I’VE NEVER CALLED IN SICK BEFORE LET ALONE JUST NOT TURNED UP. I BET IT WAS THAT NOSY COW BRENDA FROM HUMAN RESOURCES THAT CALLED THE POLICE.

I WONDER IF THEY KNOW YET.

NOW THE POLICE ARE INVOLVED IT WON’T BE LONG BEFORE THEY FIND OUT.

Jessica, I’ve just seen the news, are you ok?

I’M FINE. THERE’S A THING CALLED CUSTOMER CONFIDENTIALITY. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL ANYONE WHO IS STAYING IN YOUR GUESTHOUSE. I EXPECT YOU TO KEEP QUIET.

Of course, but if people are worried and the police are looking for you, wouldn’t it be better to let them know you are safe. The longer you leave it the more likely your friends and family will think the worst. No one should go through that kind of worry unnecessarily. You don’t have to tell them where you are, just that you are safe so they stop looking. If you want I can call them.

NO!

I won’t tell them anything, just that you are safe.

If you would prefer that I didn’t, then I won’t. I’m not sure what you’ve run away from but you’re safe here. You can trust me.

AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, I’VE AGREED TO ANNIE RINGING THE POLICE TO LET THEM KNOW I’M SAFE. MAYBE THIS WILL TAKE SOME OF THE HEAT OFF ME.

AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

I’M GOING TO SIT NEXT TO HER WHEN SHE DOES IT TO ENSURE SHE DOESN’T GIVE AWAY ANY CLUES TO MY WHEREABOUTS.

THE POLICE WANTED TO SPEAK TO ME TO PROVE THAT ANNIE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH, THOUGH I REFUSED. ANNIE REFUSED TO GIVE OUR LOCATION, JUST KEPT REITERATING THAT I WAS SAFE. IT SEEMS I CAN TRUST HER. FOR NOW AT LEAST.

I’VE TOLD ANNIE SHE HAS TO STAY HERE IN THE HOUSE WITH ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE, IN CASE SHE RUNS BACK NEXT DOOR AND PHONES THE POLICE AGAIN TO TELL THEM WHERE I AM. ANNIE HAS ASSURED ME THAT SHE WON’T BUT I’D PREFER IT IF SHE STAYED. ANNIE SEEMS TO BE TAKING THIS IN HER STRIDE; SHE SAYS SHE’LL MAKE THE SPARE BEDROOM UP.

I’VE CONFISCATED HER MOBILE PHONE.

MONDAY:

ANNIE SLEPT PEACEFULLY ALL NIGHT. I DIDN’T SLEEP A WINK. I WATCHED HER SLEEP, CONVINCED THAT IF MY BACK WAS TURNED SHE WOULD SNEAK OUT OR TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH SOMEONE IN THE VILLAGE.

I CAN‘T LET THEM FIND ME.

THE NEWS IS STILL PLAYING THE STORY OF ME BEING MISSING AS IF THEY HADN’T SPOKEN TO ANNIE YESTERDAY. THE POLICE ARE NOW URGENTLY ASKING ME TO COME FORWARD OR FOR ANYONE WHO KNOWS MY WHEREABOUTS TO GET IN TOUCH.