The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel (35 page)

“Give them to her. You’ve had two drinks. You shouldn’t drive.”

“I’m fine,” I said evenly.

“No you aren’t.”

I knew he was probably right, which was why I dug my keys out and handed them to her. “Looks like you’re my chauffeur tonight,” I said to her.

“No. You’re riding with me.” Rhett turned around and walked away as if I would just follow him, no questions asked.

“Just go with him.” Sarah sounded resigned as she moved away from me. “I’ll see you at home.”

I nodded, watching them both move away from me in disbelief. Part of me wanted to turn around and walk right back into the bar. Go right back in there with Roger and finish that kiss. But that was a small part of me. The bigger part wanted to follow Rhett just as he asked. I wanted to see him, to look into those angry eyes and see where it would take me. Was I a bad person for that? Did that make me sick to want those things even though his girlfriend was just feet away?

I am sick.

There was no avoiding it. And the reality of it didn’t hurt me. So I followed him, my feet carrying me in his wake. And I knew my sickness, the thing—the filth that festered inside would consume me.

I hoped it would consume us both.

TWELVE

“Why did you punch him?” Maybe it was a naïve question to ask as I rode home with Rhett. Maybe it was a ridiculous question, but I needed to hear him say it. I wouldn’t ride home in the tense silence I knew was to come. So I asked barely after he’d started the engine of his SUV.

“Why did I punch him?” His voice was even, void of anger like his face and eyes revealed. He backed the car out of the parking spot.

“Yes.”

“I don’t think it matters.”

I snorted. “You don’t think it matters?” He pulled out onto the road. “You just punched Roger. Your colleague and friend.”

“It doesn’t matter to you,” he said, focused on the road.

“It does matter to me. He was kissing
me
.”

“You liked that didn’t you?” he hissed, still not looking at me.

I scoffed and shook my head. “What is this Rhett?”

“What is what?” He tightened his hands on the wheel.

“This shit we’re doing. This dance we’ve been doing since the moment you picked me up on the side of the road.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

Anger rolled around inside my head. “Are you kidding me? Not doing anything? You call kissing me—multiple times—nothing? Touching me. Watching me cum. Cumming all over me? That’s nothing to you?” I prodded him, stabbing him with my words. He could hide from himself, from Sarah, all he wanted, but he couldn’t hide from me. Not anymore. Not today.

“Those things shouldn’t have happened.”

“Oh yeah?” I turned my body sideways so I was fully facing him. “I think that’s bullshit. I wouldn’t be in this passenger seat right now if you really believed that. I would have driven myself home. You wouldn’t have punched Roger. Hell, maybe I would have gone home with him.”

Rhett’s hands tightened further, so tight his knuckles turned white, threatening to burst through his skin.

“Oh, does that bother you? Does it make you crazy to think about the things I might have done with Roger if I went home with him?”

“Stop.” It was one word, but I heard the warning behind it. He still didn’t look at me.

But it was too late for me to stop. I was tipsy. Today was the first day in years where the future actually seemed clearer, more defined—a future without Taylor. My body vibrating from how close Rhett was. Just inches away. I could reach out and touch him. I wouldn’t let him hide from me now.

“Maybe I would have got on my knees.” I bit down on my lip. “Unzipped his pants.” I let the words roll off my tongue seductively.

“Faye.” The threat was bigger now, but I didn’t know what it meant, what it entailed if I kept pushing. There was no way in hell I was going to stop now. It was too late for holding back. I’d held back long enough.

“I wonder how big his dick is.” I licked my lips. “I bet it’s pretty big, don’t you think? He’s ta—”

The screeching of tires cut my words short as Rhett whipped the car down a dark alley not too far from his apartment building.

“Shut the fuck up,” he said as he threw the car into park.

I didn’t let it phase me. “You don’t want to hear about how good I would suck him? About how I would take him deep into my throat?” Bitterness swept through me. “Because I had to watch you fuck her, Rhett. I had to fucking watch you while you came inside Sarah. Don’t you think that would only be fair?”

“You want to talk about what’s fair, Faye?” he asked, turning toward me for the first time. The look in his eyes could kill. “I’ll tell you what’s fucking fair. It’s finding you, after I’d helped you. After I’d tried to help you change your life. It’s finding you at that truck stop again, on top of some fucking random guy. I had to watch that.”

A smile crept across my lips. “Okay. Sure. Fair. You can fuck your girlfriend. And I can fuck whoever I want as well.”

He turned away and slammed his fists against the steering wheel. “This is so fucked up.”

“What is?” Because for once we were actually going somewhere—the things I had always wanted him to say. I could feel them. Taste them. He would say them. I was certain of it.

He took a deep breath and glanced up at me. That’s when I saw it. The pity. It had wormed its way in through the anger and lust. The pools of it so deep I was certain I would never ever escape.

“No, Rhett. Don’t you fucking do that. Don’t pity me!” I shouted. I couldn’t not scream them. This was why I didn’t want to tell the world about what happened to me. This was why I ran away and fucked those men for money and drugs. Because the pity was disgusting. It was as if the filth that I had always carried was suddenly visible to the world, my open, festering wounds bare. “Don’t make this about him. Not today. He’s gone.” My voice shook on the last word, but he was still looking at me with those pitiful eyes. And I knew I would never escape it. Taylor could be gone forever but I would still be this girl. The one he raped. And I didn’t even care that the world would look at me that way. The world didn’t matter. But Rhett did. Rhett was the only one who had ever mattered.

He was the only man who had ever taken the time to truly get to know me without some other hidden intentions. But it was his eyes that held the most pity.

“Fuck you.” I threw my door open and climbed out of the car. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t look at his face anymore. It was bad enough that the things that had been done to me were burned into my head—into my flesh—for eternity. But seeing them reflected in his eyes—that made it all worse. One hundred times worse, because it showed just how terrible my life had been. Just how bad and deep the scars ran. Endlessly and forever, until I was nothing but a ripped up hunk of flesh.

I gripped my left forearm, the thick pink scar hot against my palm.

The sound of a car door opened and shut. “Don’t walk away, Faye.”

But I ignored him. Taylor was gone. But not really, he would always be a part of me. Rhett hadn’t even had to say his name for me to be reminded.

“I mean it, Faye.” Rhett grabbed my arm, spinning me around. But I wasn’t going to take it. I wasn’t going to drown in that pity. Not today. I jerked my arm back, but he was stronger and I didn’t get free.

“Fuck you!” I shouted in his face, but he still didn’t let go. He didn’t even move a muscle. His face was stoic. A muscle ticked in his jaw. There was indecision in his eyes. Gone was the pity.

“Shut up.”

“I don’t have to listen to you.” It sounded petty, but it was true. I jerked at my arm again. He didn’t let go, instead he pushed me up against the cold chain link fence surrounding the building at my back.

“I wanted to save you.” A yellow streetlight illuminated him from behind so I couldn’t see his face in the darkness.

“No one can save me. You know that.”

“I wanted to fix everything.”

“That’s stupid.” I tried to push away from him, but he pressed me harder against the fence.

“I…”

“Why didn’t you come the day I had to testify? Why didn’t you come see me?” My words sounded hoarse, scratchy.

“I was scared.” His voice was quiet but his body still pressed hard against me.

“Scared?
You
were scared?” I was baffled, completely and utterly baffled. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“I was scared you wanted to see him.”

“What?”

“That you would…fuck I don’t know. You told me you loved him. You used to love him.”

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” I shoved at him again. “You’re a piece of shit.”

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t move a muscle. I was still pressed between him and the fence. His body warm, the fence cold.

I formed my hands into fists and slammed them against his chest as hard as I could. “You thought I wanted him, to see him?” I hit him again. “What was that some sort of fucked up jealousy on your end?”

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“Tell me I’m a piece of shit.”

I frowned. It didn’t make sense, but I was too pissed. Too hurt to care. “You
are
a piece of shit. I was scared. And you didn’t come.”

“Roger did. I thought that would be enough.”

He had turned the tables on me. Twisting them around until we were back to what started tonight. Back in the bar with my lips on Roger’s.

“Fuck you.” I swung at his face, but he dodged my fist.

“Why did you want me there, Faye?” His voice was rougher, deeper. I could feel his thickening cock against my hip through our clothes. The combination of the two did something to me, liquefying everything inside until my cunt was slick for him.

“Because you’re the only person that matters.” I hadn’t meant to tell the truth. I had intended to tell him to fuck off again, but the words slipped out as if they didn’t even belong to me.

I opened my mouth to insult him again, but before I could he thrust his lips against mine. The second time I had been kissed tonight, but this kiss—it surpassed anything I had felt with Roger. It moved mountains and flooded rivers. Our tongues tangled together, our teeth clanging against one another. The chain link fence bit into my back, but I didn’t care. This was what I wanted. This was what I had
always
wanted.

I tangled my fingers into his hair letting him consume me. His hands gripped my waist, digging into the small space of exposed flesh above my jeans. The skin to skin contact sent a shiver through my body. His hands were impossibly hot, searing my skin like a brand.

Then something came over me. It was this urgency. A desperation—panic. I had to have this. I had to have Rhett. Him. I had to have him after all these years. After all the nights I laid awake thinking about him. All the men I fucked and pretended he was them. After everything. He had to be mine. If for nothing else, then for right now.

I hurried my hands down his chest and started pulling at his belt. I expected him to jerk away, to stop me, but he didn’t. He kissed me harder as if he was as desperate as I. Scared the moment would and we could never get it back. After several seconds I had his cock free and thick there between us. I gripped his length in my hand and he moaned into my mouth.

I pulled away from him, but only so I could fall to my knees. I told him that I had wanted to do this to Roger. But that had been a lie. It was Rhett I wanted in my mouth. It was his length I wanted to gag around. Him and only him.

I still couldn’t see his face as I took him to the back of my throat. He groaned as I sucked him down, salty precum dripping on my hungry tongue. But then he pulled back, stepping away, his cock popping out of my mouth.

“Rhett—”

His arms jerked me up off the concrete and spun me around until my back was pressed against the grill of his SUV. The metal dug into my skin, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was Rhett. And I could see him now. His handsome face exposed in the glow of the streetlights.

Where there had once been indecision and pity, there was now overwhelming desire painted on his face. There was no hate, or anger—just need. And I was certain it was the same desperation on my own.

He didn’t say anything as his fingers tangled with the button on the top of my jeans or when they fumbled with my lace panties, wrenching them down my legs. The cold sent goose bumps scattering across my exposed flesh. I jerked one leg out of my pants, and he lifted me up off the ground, hovering my dripping wet center over his stiff cock.

I wanted to watch as he entered me, wanted to take a mental picture that I could remember for eternity, but I didn’t. Instead I looked into Rhett’s eyes. Those green eyes that drove me wild. They looked ethereal illuminated by the dim yellow alley light. Like there was fire burning inside them. A fire that burned only for me. After all the waiting I had done, all the pining—my wait was over.

Rhett slammed into me, filling me to the hilt, stretching me on his thick length. A strangled moan wrenched from my lips. All the while he watched me. I couldn’t look away. He didn’t start out easy or take it slow. He pounded into me. Pressing me hard against the running car at my back. I lifted my hips to meet his. Wanting all of him. I clawed at his shoulders.