The Falling of Love (24 page)

“Wanna go to dinner tonight?”

She studies him amusingly. “With you?” she asks, sarcastically.

“Like on a date.”

Grace thinks about it for a moment, as she takes the sight of him in. She thinks that maybe Eddie would be able to keep her thoughts off Jaden and agrees to go to dinner with him.

“So you’re letting the elusive Eddie take you on a date, huh?” Michelle asks, smiling as she sits at the computer.

Grace walks out of her bedroom while elegantly putting on her bright, blood-red six-inch pump on her other foot. “Well, I couldn’t get him to shut up about it!” Grace replies in a sarcastic tone.

Michelle laughs. No doubt because Grace has told her what an introvert Eddie is, and Grace guesses that Michelle finds her response amusing. “Did Jaden write you back yet?”

Grace sits in the chair next to Michelle and gives her a frown. “Yeah, today.”

“Uh oh.” Michelle sighs.

“He’s an asshole!” Grace says, sharply.

Grace reads Jaden’s email to Michelle. “I’m never, ever speaking to him again!”

Before Michelle can utter a word, their doorbell rings. Grace slides out of the chair and opens the front door. Eddie is standing there with that magnificent smile on his face, his head bent slightly toward the floor, and his radiant blue eyes peering up at her. Lifting his head he smiles and then reaches out his hand without one word passing through his lips.

“See ya later, Missy,” Grace says, as she closes the door.

A few weeks later, on an unusually cold, spring morning in Ocean View, Ian slips quietly out of his car onto the sidewalk in front of the Hathaway’s home. He leans against his old Nova and folds his hands together before bringing them to his mouth. He blows on them attempting to warm them. The air is crisp and biting at his fingers, making them ache. He sucks in a deep cold breath of air and walks to the front door.

Ian can see that James cannot believe his eyes when he opens the door to find him standing on his front porch. Ian can also see that James pities him, but takes a firm stance regardless.

“I have asked you to leave us alone,” James says, harshly.

Ian puts his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and looks down at the front porch. He speaks without raising his gaze. “I’m sorry, James. I just have to see her.”

James looks at Ian sternly. “She’s not here.”

Ian raises his gaze to meet James’. His eyes are filled with fury, and it almost scares Ian.

“You need to leave my sister alone, Ian. She doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

The words cut at Ian’s heart.

“Will she be home later?” he asks, with determination.

“She doesn’t even live here anymore, man.” James reaches out for Ian and Ian backs away from him quickly.

“Man,” James says, putting his hand on Ian’s shoulder, “she’s happy. Just leave her be. Do you hear me, Ian?” James slows his words to a crawl. “She is happy.”

Ian tries to no avail to get James to tell him the whereabouts of Grace. With the heaviness of failure upon him, he reluctantly climbs back into his car and speeds away from the Hathaway home.

He finds himself sitting in his car in front of Lincoln High School. He is not exactly sure how he ended up parked in the senior parking lot at his old school, but once he realizes where he has driven, he knows exactly where he wants to go. The parking lot is empty, and the school is abandoned.
Must be no school today.

He slinks out of his Nova and cautiously walks up to the fence that separates the senior quad from the parking lot.

Standing tall as ever, in the middle of the senior quad, is the majestic oak tree that he and Grace used to sit under almost every day. Ian wraps his fingers around the chain links of the fence and the coldness of it sends pain into his fingers. He takes a deep breath as memories come rushing to his mind. Steam from his warm breath paints the air in front of him. He closes his eyes as the physical pain that he has grown accustomed to in his heart resurfaces. Grace’s beautiful smile haunts his mind.

With an agile move, he leaps on the fence, crawls over it then lands on the other side with both feet. The clanks of his jewelry, his heavy breaths, and the thud of his boots hitting the pavement are the only sounds that fill the spring air.

He stands staring up at the tree as more memories of times he spent here with Grace flood his mind. Without his control, he falls to his knees as pain surges through his heart.
We had so many hopes and dreams that we shared under this tree.
He recalls how they were the epitome of what young lovers should be. The first time he kissed Grace’s sweet lips was under this very tree. They had some of their deepest and most heartfelt conversations here. To Ian, this tree was a symbol of their love. It was tall, strong, and everlasting, just as he thought their love would always be.
I have destroyed everything I ever loved.
He leans up against the tree and slowly slides down until his bottom is touching the cold, wet grass.

A dubious amount of time passes and Ian rises to his feet. With a heavy heart he runs his index finger over the bark of the oak tree where he carved
I Loves G.
He laughs as he remembers the day he carved this into the tree to impress Grace. Smiling, he thinks of how touched she was by this one simple gesture and how it brought tears to her eyes.

He lets his finger linger on the carving before he inhales deeply and walks back to the fence. He turns to take one more glimpse of this special place he holds so dearly in his heart. With another swift move, he leaps back over the fence and lands in the empty parking lot.

Slinking back into his car he lights a cigarette. The ringing of his cell phone startles him, but he picks it up casually.

“Hello?” he asks, pain lurching from his throat.

“How did it go?” Jaden asks, gently.

“She’s not here. James won’t tell me where she is.”

Jaden pauses. “I’m sorry, Ian.”

“I was pretty stupid coming all the way up here anyway. I’m going to grab a bite to eat and head out,” Ian says, as he musters up the strength to deal with his situation.

“Okay, man. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Ian grabs a sandwich to go, from the diner that sits on the side of the highway out of town. He decides he is not done torturing himself and stops at the spot by the lake where he spent some of the most beautiful moments of his life with Grace.

Sitting on the hood of his Nova, he eats his sandwich, and throws a pile of rocks that he gathered from the shore near the lake into the water. Playing on the stereo in his car is a song that he wrote for Grace. He watches as the rocks skip along the surface of the water and suddenly sink out of sight.

“Kind of like my life, sinking to emptiness,” he says, as he continues the destruction of his rock pile. He is frustrated, angry, and brokenhearted. The failures of all his mistakes wash over him with alarming realization.
This is it. I have lost her forever.

Grace has not heard from Jaden for several weeks. Michelle casually gives her tidbits of information about him, but Grace does not push for anything more.
Eddie convinced Grace to go on a few more dates, and a relationship has started to blossom. For the second time in her life, Grace thinks that maybe, just maybe she could fall in love again. Eddie is kind to her, but he is so introverted, and self-absorbed that sometimes it is hard to strike up a conversation. She is lonely, so she enjoys what she gets from his company, even if it is not what she needs from a relationship.

After a while, Jaden attempts to contact Grace, but she is still too furious to speak to him. He calls her, but as soon as she sees that it is him calling, she turns her cell phone off. Texts trickle in every other day or so with Jaden pleading,
Please don’t be mad at me,
or
you’re my family, I can’t lose you.
Grace rolls her eyes at Jaden’s audacity to call her
family
. She longs to forgive him, but she is still too furious. She tries to talk herself out of being angry, and chalk it all up to one big mistake, but every time she goes to call or text him, her heart turns cold.

Please stop ignoring me.
Jaden reads the words on his cell phone screen as he relaxes on a couch in a dark recording studio. He hesitates before pushing send and his heart rips in half. One part of him wants to hop on a plane so that he can be with Grace. The other part struggles with the guilt of being in love with the girl that his best friend is still suffering over. He is torn, and knows that any feelings between them, other than friendship are wrong, but he longs to make love to her again and becomes aroused every time he thinks of his last day in Paris with Grace. As much as he tries to convince himself that he would behave differently, he knows that if Grace lived closer to him he could not resist her. Although he knows he cannot be with her, he is also certain that he cannot live his life happily without her friendship.

Ian flops down on the couch next to Jaden and Jaden hurriedly hits send, before he pushes his cell phone into his pocket.

“Ready?” Ian asks, with excitement ringing in his voice.

Jaden nods. “Yeah, man, let’s do this. Are you going out again tonight?” Jaden asks, as they walk into the recording booth.

“I was thinking about it,” Ian says, quietly.

“With the same girl you saw last night?” Jaden hesitates to ask.

“If I go, it will be with her.”

Jaden picks up his guitar and slides the strap over his head and onto his shoulder.

“She’s cute, man,” Jaden says, with a reassuring smile.

Ian grabs his microphone stand and pulls it closer to his body. “She’s okay. I guess.”

“It’s good that you’re starting to date.”

“I’m trying, but honestly, man, I’m just doing it because I think it’s what I’m supposed to do. The entire time I was with this chick, I kept comparing everything she said or did to Gracie.”

“Are ya still sure you don’t want to look for her anymore?”

“What’s the use, man? She knows I’ve tried. She hates my fuckin’ guts. What is another letter from me professing my love going to prove to her? I went all the way to her house in Oregon and still no phone call or anything from her.” Ian runs his hand through his hair. “I have to face the fact that she despises me and never wants to see me again.”

As bad as he feels for Ian, a tremendous weight lifts from his shoulders. Ian has
finally
given up trying to find Grace.

Michelle walks into the loft holding her cell phone to her ear with her shoulder.

“And this happened when?” she asks, sharply. She slams the front door, and Grace jumps up from the couch, startled. Grace can see that Michelle is extremely angry, and it is written all over her face.

“Yeah, I think you should have told her! I can’t believe how utterly stupid you can be sometimes, James!” Michelle screams into the phone.

Grace walks over to Michelle with concern eating at her heart. She helps her take her purse off her shoulder, as Michelle listens to James with a scowl on her face. Michelle walks to the couch and sits down with a huff.

“I just don’t think this is something you should’ve kept from her,” she says, looking at Grace as Grace takes the seat next to her. “No. I’ll tell her. Okay. I love you, too. Talk to you soon.” She pushes the end button on her cell phone and stares at Grace.

“What is it?”

Michelle lays her cell phone on the table, rubs her hands over her face, and leans back into the couch. She is contemplating how she is going to tell Grace the news she has for her. With an abrupt movement Michelle brings both her legs up onto the couch, and turns her body toward Grace who is anticipating the worst.

She grabs both of Grace’s hands and sucks on her bottom lip before she speaks. “Ian is alive.”

His name pierces Grace’s heart and comes as a shock. She has been dating Eddie, who is a welcome distraction to her feelings for both Ian and Jaden. She thought that her feelings for Ian were fading away. Without warning to either herself or Michelle, she erupts into heavy sobs. Michelle throws her arms around Grace and squeezes her tightly as she cries loud and uncontrollably.

“He’s alive, and he’s fine. Look at me,” Michelle says, as she takes Grace’s sobbing face into her hands. “He showed up at James’ house about a month ago. He was looking for you.”

Grace’s sobs fill the room.

“James wouldn’t let him in. He said he looked sober, but James is still so angry with him that he wasn’t about to invite him in. He said that it was hard to get rid of him, but he just told him you were no longer living there, you were happy, and to leave you alone.”

Grace struggles to catch her breath. Even she is surprised at her reaction to this news. Michelle tightens her grip on her and holds her as she cries.

“There’s more.” Michelle breaks away from their embrace and takes Grace by the hands once again. “James has just confessed something else to me, sweetie.”

Strands of Grace’s blonde hair stick to her damp cheeks, and Michelle brushes Grace’s hair from her face. “Do you want some water?”

“No, just go on,” Grace says through her sobs.

“Ian has been writing to you and calling our house since before we left for Paris.”

Grace’s mouth falls open with disbelief. “How could he?” she screams. “He…he knew I thought that Ian was dead! How could he do this?”

Michelle gets up and walks to the kitchen, grabs a cup from the cupboard, and fills it with water. When she hands her the cup Grace can see her own hands shaking.

“He thought he was protecting you,” Michelle says, warmly.

“He could’ve at least let me know that Ian was okay, and let me decide for myself!”

Michelle nods. “I know, sweetie. I know,” she says, as she uses her sleeve to wipe Grace’s tear filled cheeks.

After she
calms
herself, Grace calls James and demands he send Ian’s letters and his telephone number. James explains to her that he burned all of his letters as they arrived and that he never bothered to ask Ian for his telephone number.

She tries for hours, but there is no use in trying to sleep with all the information flying through her mind about Ian. She tosses and turns in her bed.
“Ian is alive.”
Michelle’s words play repeatedly in her mind like a joyful melody. Grace feels a tremendous sense of relief to know that he is alive. Her stomach drops as she thinks,
He’s looking for me
.

Jaden lies on his bed, relaxing and puffing on a joint. His cell phone rings and he laughs at himself when he jumps. “Whoa!” he says, aloud.

“Hello?”

“Have you seen Ian?” Grace asks, without as much as a hello.

Jaden is shocked by her question. “Umm no, why?” he lies.

“I just found out that Ian has been trying to contact me since before I left for Paris.”

Jaden puts his joint in the ashtray that sits on his nightstand and mouths, “Oh shit!” to an empty room.
Should I confess to her? If I tell her that Ian has been living with me for two months, she will go ballistic!
Jaden has been trying to get her to call or email him back for weeks. Here she is on the phone, and he knows she will once again be furious with him if he tells her the truth.

“Ah no, I haven’t seen him,” he lies again.

He feels guilty for lying to her. But how will she ever find out the truth? She is all the way in Paris and has no plans to come back to Los Angeles.
What use would it be for me to confess to her now?

“I just thought...” She stops, and then Jaden chimes in.

“I heard the other day that he is doing ok,” Jaden blurts out without a thought.

“You know how to find him?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. Just rumors, ya know. I heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend. I told you, Grace. If Ian wants to be found he will be found.” His lies continue.

He knows he needs to end this conversation before he digs his hole deeper. “Ah, Grace, I gotta get going. Umm, I just had a friend walk in. Can I call you back?”

“Sure,” she says, distantly.

Jaden puts his telephone down and puffs on his joint again. “What am I gonna tell her?” he asks himself aloud.
Nothing.
It’s better to let sleeping dogs lie
.