The Falling of Love (20 page)

She pushes away from him. “No,” she says, fighting the desire to be with him.

He stops and looks down. “I love you, sugar,” he says, with the most sincere look in his eyes. “I won’t hurt you like he has.”

She is confused, she is hurt, and she longs for Jaden to continue what he has started. She rises up with her entire torso, stretching to reach his lips, and kisses him feverishly.

Grace rips at the ties on his pants frantically, lust for Jaden and anger toward Ian overtaking her. In an instant, he is inside her and they move together. She turns her head around searching the room, as a mixture of guilt and pleasure fill her soul. Ian stands in the doorway, dazed, much as she was when she saw the blonde giving him a blowjob. She can see the complete astonishment on his face. She pushes Jaden off and folds her body up against the headboard.

“With my best friend?” he yells. “With my fucking best friend,” he screams louder. “This is my payback!” He rushes at Jaden.

Jaden looks confused as he stumbles to his feet. Before she can stop him, Ian grabs Jaden and has him against the floor.

“You…” he says, as he punches Jaden in the face.

Jaden slams his fist into Ian’s ribs, and he doubles over. Grace runs and stands between them.

“Get out!” she hisses at Ian as she points to the door.

Michelle runs into the room and stands there with her hand covering her mouth. Ian pushes her out of his way, almost knocking her over, and runs down the stairs. She looks at Grace and Grace waves her out of the room. She is already humiliated that Ian walked in on her and Jaden, and knowing Michelle has also been a witness to this fiasco increases her humiliation.

Grace looks at Jaden and Jaden returns her stare.

“Just get out,” she says, feeling totally ashamed.

Her bedroom slams and it startles her to the point of jerking. Grace flops onto the bed feeling totally crushed. Throwing her head into her palms she cries. Her entire world has just been turned upside down.

A week has passed since the night that Grace caught Ian cheating on her and he walked in on her and Jaden. Michelle and Jaden have tried numerous times to get Grace out of bed, out of her room, and to eat, with little success. She is lost. Her heart has been broken and the shattered pieces have crippled her, confining her to her bed. She will not eat much, she can hardly sleep, and she cannot stop worrying about where Ian is.

Grace sits on her bed holding her cell phone in her trembling hands as she stares at Michelle. She presses numbers into the phone and then holds it up to her ear.

“James?” Grace asks, as she chokes back her tears.

“Yeah?”

“I need you,” she cries. The events of the past eight months start flowing from her mouth without any control.

“I can barely make out half of what you’re saying, honey. Try and calm down. Breathe, Grace.”

“Hey, it’s Missy,” says Michelle after she puts the call on speakerphone.

Grace sits on her bed sobbing.

“She can’t talk. She’s too upset.”

“What the hell is going on?”

“James…can we please come home?”

“Of course,” he says, without hesitation.

“Like, as in today?”

“Do you need me to buy your tickets?”

“Yeah, we’re kinda broke.”

“Is she hurt?”

“Not physically.” Michelle sighs. “But she’s pretty tore up. Her and Ian…can we just talk about it when we get home?”

“Plane tickets will be outrageously expensive. Are you two okay with taking a bus?”

“I don’t care how we get home. Just get us out of L.A.”

Once James confirms their bus tickets, Grace and Michelle rapidly pack. Grace drags her suitcase behind her down the stairs, followed closely Michelle one step away. She spots Jaden sitting on the couch with his face buried in his hands

“Jaden?” she calls to him, as she enters the living room.

He lifts his head at the sound of her voice and pops off the couch. “I’ve called everyone I can think of. No one has seen or heard from him.” His eyes fall on the luggage and then dart back up to meet hers. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll wait on the porch. The cab should be here any minute,” Michelle says.

“Wait, Michelle? What is going on?” he asks, as his head plays Ping-Pong between the two girls.

Michelle places her bag up against the wall and then walks over to Jaden. With open arms she takes him in. “Thank you for letting me stay here as long as you did. You’re pretty amazing.”

Grace remains quiet as Michelle closes her eyes and kisses Jaden’s cheek. The confused expression he wears breaks what is left of Grace’s heart.

“Why are you leaving?” he asks, turning his gaze to Grace.

Grace waits for Michelle to walk out the front door then walks over to where Jaden is standing, still stunned.

“I can’t stay here. I can’t take it.”

“Grace, you don’t have to leave. Please don’t leave.”

She shakes her head as the tears start to trickle from her eyes.

“Come on, sugar. We can work all of this shit out.”

“No, no we can’t.”

“Grace,” he says, as he steps forward and rests his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t go. Where are you even going to go?”

“I’m going home where I belong. I never should’ve come here.”

She shakes off his hand and turns to walk out of the room. Jaden grabs for her hand, but she pulls it away.

“Please don’t touch me!”

“Don’t leave me, Grace. I can make you happy. I will never treat you the way Ian has.”

Grace whips around and glares at him. She wants to scream at him, but she is too tired. Too worn down. Too broken. “Goodbye, Jaden.”

“Why does that sound so final?” His dark eyes look pained.

“Because it is.”

“Oh come on! Just talk to me about this first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jaden! We had sex! I cheated on Ian with you! You’re his best friend. How can you live with the guilt? I can barely look at you or myself. What we did was wrong.”

“No, it wasn’t. What Ian did was wrong!”

Grace hears Michelle calling to her from the porch and swiftly grabs her suitcase and scurries out the door and down the front steps.

“I can make you happy!” Jaden yells from the top of the porch.

Grace ignores his cries and stares straight ahead through the taxi window.

A couple hours later, Michelle and Grace board a bus to Ocean View. Grace stares out the window, answering Michelle’s questions with only a simple “yes” or “no.”
What have I done?
She worries as she watches cars and buildings fly by through the bus window.

The decision to go back to Ocean View was not one that she took lightly. Although she worries for Ian’s safety and whereabouts, she knows that leaving him is the healthy thing to do, even if it does feel like it is killing her.

They arrive in Ocean View, and the sight of home is an unwelcome one to Grace. It signifies all her failures since leaving Ocean View. Every street corner holds a memory of her and Ian, when they were happy and madly in love, when they were young and innocent. A happier time when her life was fun, exciting, and beautiful. When Ian treated her like a princess and would lay down his life for hers.

Through a fogged window, Grace sees James standing at the bus stop, snow falling on him, wearing the same flannel coat he always wears in the fall. When the girls make their way off of the bus, he raises his hand to wave at them with a warm smile.

Grace runs to him and collapses in his arms. His arms fold around her and she loses control as the tears flow.

“Welcome home,” he says, as he takes the back of her head into his palm and brings her closer. Michelle nudges her way under his other arm and also cries.

“My girls,” he says, as he hugs them tighter. “Come on now,” he says, as he takes Grace by her shoulders and stares into her eyes. “Try to calm down.”

Like a fish out of water, she gulps for breath, sucking it between her quivering lips.

Michelle throws her arm around Grace. “Let’s go home.”

They pile into James’ pick-up truck and make their way down the street. Still finding it hard to hold back her tears, Grace watches out the window as they pass by her familiar hometown.

Grace does not take time to reacquaint herself with her home. Silently she climbs the stairs to her old room. Briefly she notices that nothing has been moved out of place since the last time she saw it, but she does not have enough time to process this as of now. She crawls into her old bed as the pain in her heart branches out into her body. So many memories of Ian flood through her mind as the tears pour down her cheeks.

The tapping on her bedroom door wakes her. “Come in,” she says.

Heartbreak reaches into her chest and grabs at her heart. James steps through the doorway looking apprehensive and quietly walks to her bed where he takes a seat.

“How are you holding up, kiddo?” he asks, before he rests his hand on her hip and caresses her in a consoling way.

Grace musters up her best fake smile, but she can see by the look on James’ face that she is not putting on a convincing performance.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Food?”

“I’m not hungry, but thanks for asking.”

“Michelle said you haven’t eaten much since before you left L.A.”

“I just don’t feel like eating, James. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“Of course I’m going to worry about you.”

“Well, I wish you wouldn’t,” she says, as she turns away from him.

The room goes quiet for a moment and Grace closes her eyes, trying to push her heartache away.

“I’m sorry.” James’ words only cause her heart to hurt more.

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

James forces his way onto the bed with Grace and wraps an arm around her. “I know you don’t, but I need to. I need you to know how sorry I am. I never should’ve kicked you out.”

“James—”

“Hear me out. If we’re going to live together peacefully, we need to talk about this. I need to get it off my chest. I honestly didn’t think you two would leave. I mean, I didn’t know you had somewhere you could go. I thought you’d go to the lake or the park and then come back a few hours later. I never…I never thought you go to L.A.”

Grace’s eyes fill with tears and her throat starts to hurt. Thinking about the day James kicked her out of the house only intensifies her emotional state.

“I’m so sorry, Grace. I overreacted. When you didn’t come back it only pissed me off more. I should’ve tried to call you. I should’ve came to L.A. and brought you home.”

“I wouldn’t have come home with you, James.”

“Everything that has happened to you is
all my
fault.”

Grace turns to face her brother with tears running down her cheeks. “No, it’s not. It’s Ian’s fault and no one else’s. We were happy until he started using. Everything was perfect.”

James wipes a tear from her cheek, “I’m so sorry this happened to you. If I hadn’t kicked you out—”

“I love Ian. He would’ve left Ocean View eventually and I would’ve followed him. You just helped speed along the process.” She sniffles. “It’s not your fault.”

James kisses her forehead and tucks the blankets around her. “I love you. I’m really glad you’re home.”

“I love you too. Thank you for letting us
come
home.”

James shakes his head. “This is always going to be your home. Even if I’m being a prick, the door is always open for you girls. You two are my life.”

He climbs out of bed and kisses her forehead once more. “Get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day. You just need to take it one day at a time.”

The next morning, Michelle sits on the edge of Grace’s bed with a plate of food in her hand.

“You need to eat.”

Grace hears the tenderness in her voice, but it does not change the fact that food is the furthest thing on her mind.

“I said I’m not hungry.”

“You have to be. It is physically impossible for you to not be hungry. Just eat, Grace!” she says, as she lays the plate on Grace’s lap.

Grace picks up a piece of bacon and slowly picks at it.

“I know you’re hurt. I know everything that’s happened to you is really, I mean, really screwed up, but you have got to snap out of it. You have to go on with your life.”

Grace drops the bacon on the plate, half eaten.

“What for?”

Michelle takes the plate and puts it on Grace’s nightstand. She wraps her arms around Grace. “For me, do it for me,” she whispers. “Do it for yourself. You’re worth it. You’re stronger than this.”

“I don’t feel strong.”

Michelle lifts her head to look at Grace. “I know you loved Ian and I’m really sorry he’s such a prick, but you can do far better.”

“I don’t need to hear this right now, Missy.”

“What do you need? Tell me. I’ll do anything.”

“This,” she says, as she snuggles into Michelle. “I need this.”

Three months later, Grace rushes down the stairs of her parents’ home and grabs a breakfast bar from the kitchen cupboard. She wears a light blue dress with buttons that line the entire front, with a white collar that adorns the top.

“Hey, that’s not all you’re taking to eat is it?” asks James, looking up from the television.

“Gotta go, I’m gonna be late!” she shrieks, as she runs out the front door. She can hear her brother chuckling as she flings the door shut behind her.

Grace hops into an old Ford Escort and tries to start the engine.

“Shit!” she gripes. “Start!”

The engine seems to heed her command and putters to a start. Grace is careful driving on the slick, icy roads, but is in a hurry. She pulls into the parking lot of a small diner. As she gets out of her car, she struggles to put her apron on.

“Shit!” she gasps again. She composes herself before entering the diner and clocks in for her shift.

She works nine hours at the diner and by the time she gets home she is exhausted. As she walks through the front door a gust of snow and wind join her. James peels his face away from the television and laughs at Grace, who is standing in the doorway with a frown on her face.

“Hard day at the office?” He laughs.

Grace plops down on the couch that is next to James’ chair and pushes one tennis shoe off with the other foot.

“What’s for dinner?” she asks, as she sniffs the air. A displeasing look falls over her face. “Oh no, what is she attempting to make?” Grace asks, looking toward the kitchen.

James looks at her and laughs. “I don’t know, but you might want to keep your shoes on in case we have to go out.”

Michelle walks into the living room with a plate for James. She puts it on the end table next to him, and he looks at it curiously.

“Umm, sis,” he says, cautiously, “what’s this?”

Michelle puts both of her hands on her hips. “What do you think it is, stupid? It’s chicken!”

James looks at Grace, Grace
looks
at James, and they both burst out laughing.

“Not funny a-holes!” Michelle shouts. “I did the best that I could!”

James gets out of his easy chair and walks over to the coat rack, laughing the entire way. He grabs Michelle’s coat, throws it to her, and then does the same with Grace’s.

Grace sits on her bed later that night laughing to herself about the amusing dinner she had with her family at the diner where she works. James and Grace did not let up on teasing Michelle about her “blackened chicken.” James insisted he was sending Michelle to culinary school as soon as possible.

At first, readjusting to life back in Ocean View was hard for Grace. Her heart was broken, and it seemed that nothing could repair it. Jaden would not stop calling her, so she had her cell phone turned off. Eventually, she found the job as a server at the local diner that is nestled off the highway that leads into Ocean View. Working helped to keep her mind off Ian and everything that had happened in Los Angeles. Sometimes when she is driving home from work, she passes by one of the spots where she and Ian used to hang out, and her heart sinks to her stomach. On one particular ride home from work a couple of weeks ago, she found herself sitting on the bench in the gazebo, where she spent one of her best dates with Ian, their first date.