The Falling of Love (23 page)

Jaden pulls on her hair forcing her neck to tilt back and sucks on her neck at the sweet spot located just below her earlobe. His warm breath fills her ear with erotic sounds and sends shivers of passion through her body. He pushes her against the shower wall, takes her leg into his hand, and places her foot on the edge of the tub, causing her legs to be spread wide for him. He forces himself inside her abruptly, taking her once again.

After their shower, Grace
watches
Jaden gather his things around the loft silently, as she cooks their dinner. Her thoughts once again turn to Ian. She has never made love to another man, besides Ian, as she just did with Jaden, twice. She is astonished that she does not feel guilty. Shaking Ian out of her mind she turns her gaze back to Jaden, who is dressed in only his boxers.
He’s so hot!

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” she calls to him.

“Especially after that!” he looks at her with a wicked smile.

She laughs and continues to prepare their meal as they talk about the good times they shared in Paris.

They sit silently together on the stools at the bar enjoying the food. “I sure am going to miss your cooking,” he says, breaking the silence between them.

“I’m really going to miss you, Jaden.” The thought of him not being there the next night, as she sits down to dinner pains her.

“I’ll come back soon. I promise. Sooner rather than later.” He brushes his hand over her face. Suddenly he pulls his hand away quickly as if he has been startled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just hungry.”

“Are you sure? You seem upset all of a sudden.”

“I’m sure. Eat,” he says, pointing to what is left of her food on her plate.

That night she finds herself comfortably nuzzled in Jaden’s arms. For the first time in a long time, she does not feel alone. After a long while of lying silently she finally gets the courage to ask about Ian. “Jaden?” she whispers.

“Yeah, sugar?” He takes her hand into his and kisses the top of it.

“Have you…heard from Ian?” She can barely make out the look he returns, but she can make it out enough to see that he has a scowl on his face. “I just…
is
he okay?”

“I don’t know, Grace. I’m sure he’s fine. Ian is staying away because that is what he wants to do. Don’t you think it’s time you let him go?”

Grace snuggles into Jaden’s arms and lets his words sink in. “I just—”

“It’s time to move on. Let go of the past and look forward to your future.”

She smiles, if not only for herself. “You’re right. I just worry that he’s dead somewhere.”

“I know Ian. He’s somewhere being pissed off at us. I’m sure he’s fine. Now listen, no more talk about him, okay?”

Grace exhales, “Okay.” She extends her neck and places a kiss on his chin. “Night.”

“Night, sugar.”

The next day, as she watches Jaden walk through the security line at the airport, her heart breaks a little. The usual ache that she has in her heart for Ian has been replaced with a new, different, longing ache for Jaden.

“I’m really going to miss him,” she confesses aloud.

When she arrives home, the loft is cold and empty as if it signifies how alone she is now that Jaden is gone. She is filled with sorrow and the new ache for him consumes her. She walks over to the lamp by the couch and pulls the chain to turn it on. There lying on the end table is a white envelope with her name written on it in Jaden’s squiggly handwriting. She opens the envelope eagerly to find a letter from him.

Grace,

Yesterday was an awesome dream come true! I haven’t stopped thinking about you or wanting you since you moved out. There’s not a day that I don’t think of you. I will miss you so much. I promise you that I’ll be back, sooner than you may think. Thank you for showing me Paris. You girls have given me some of the best memories of my life, especially the ones you gave me yesterday! I’ll miss ya! Remember though, I’ll see you sooner rather than later!

Love,

Jaden

Ian sits at the piano bench of the new grand piano that Jaden recently purchased. The piano is kitty-cornered in the living room of the old Victorian home. The sound of Ian playing fills the entire house with his haunting melody. He is lost in the emotions of the lyrics and melodies he is singing. His eyes are shut as he howls painful heartbroken words and his long fingers flow delicately over the ivory keys of the piano.

“Hey, man, I’m home,” Jaden says, as he stands behind Ian.

He stops playing, rises from his spot at the piano, and enthusiastically wraps one arm around Jaden. “So how was Massachusetts?” he asks, with a gigantic smile. “How’s your Mom?”

“
Ahh
, yeah, man, it was great. She’s good. Glad to be home though.”

Jaden inspects the latest construction on his grandfather’s home with pride. “It looks rad, man.”

“They’ve been here every day for the last two weeks. It better look rad!” Ian chuckles.

“I’m beat, man. I’m going to bed,” Jaden says, as he picks up his duffle bag and heads to his room.

“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me about your trip?”

“Ya know,
it’s
home, man. Same shit different time. Mom is good. Saw a couple old friends. Went fishing. Just the norm. Not much to tell.”

“You don’t seem very happy.”

“I’m just damn tired. I need some good hours spent under my covers.”

“See ya tomorrow, man,” Ian says, as he waves Jaden goodnight.

Ian sits back down at his spot at the piano bench and pencils in music notes on a piece of sheet music. He sings and plays again, all the while thinking of Grace.

Grace sits in her art appreciation course and finds that she is daydreaming of Jaden. The way he kissed her and made love to her flashes through her mind like film running through a projector. Her body tingles at the memory of them on the couch and in her shower.

A young man with deep brown eyes and curly shoulder length, dirty, blond hair leans over to her and releases her from her thoughts of Jaden.

“Hi. Do you speak English?” asks the young man, taking his time to separate each of his words.

Grace smiles. “
Oui
. Yeah, I do.”

The young man gives her a glorious smile and a sigh of relief. “I can’t understand a word this professor is saying.” He laughs, quietly.

“After class I’ll help you,” she whispers.

He nods. Once again with a glorious smile falling over his face. The blue of his deep set eyes reminds her of the powder blue sky and she admires the tiny wrinkles that form near them when he smiles. Grace regards this young man as being very handsome.

From her pleasant conversation with him after class, Grace discovers that Eddie is an exchange student from the United States, who has only been in France for a few weeks. They sit on the grass of their university as she goes over the notes from the lecture they just endured.

“They told me all my professors would speak English.” He looks at her, confused.

“Well, Eddie, that was English, but Professor Girard has an extremely thick accent,” Grace teases and laughs.

“Would you mind helping me out until I get adjusted?”

“Not at all,” she smiles.

They decide to have lunch together, and Grace teaches Eddie simple French words as they walk to the university cafeteria. They exchange telephone numbers and make small talk while eating their lunch.

“So you’re from Hawaii?” she asks, excited. “I have always wanted to go there!”

“It’s beautiful, but you tend to get island fever, believe it or not.”

“What’s your major?”

“I’m a sculptor,” he says, showing her his masculine hands. “My mother is a sculptor as well, and my father is a painter.”

“So you come from a talented gene pool?”

“I guess you could say that.”

Grace is fond of Eddie already. She can tell that he is a bit of an introvert by how quietly he speaks, and the lack of things he has to say, but he is delightful nonetheless. His good looks may also have something to do with her feelings for him. The way his cheeks swell up around his eyes makes them look like tiny blue, glowing, glass balls that sparkle when he smiles, and his lightly tanned skin makes her feel a little giddy every time she looks at him. The way his hair flows in wide, soft curls that capture the sun’s rays in his highlights, may also have something to do with it. Eddie is very attractive. He is about her height, five nine, and broad. Grace catches herself lingering on his looks too long and bites into her sandwich.

Eddie walks Grace to her next class and brings his hand out of his pocket. “It was nice to meet you, Grace.”

Grace takes his hand. He has a firm, rough grip. “Nice to meet you too, Eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow in Art Appreciation.”

Eddie shakes her hand and then nods before he walks away quietly.

Grace walks into her empty home and lets her backpack slide off her shoulder and land on the hardwood floors with a thud. She is exhausted again. It has been another long day at school with a photo-shoot to follow. She pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and looks at it. Sadness overcomes her. There are still no new text messages, emails, or telephone calls from Jaden. She counts on her fingers.
He’s been home for two days
. She is too exhausted to care at this point, so she flops on her bed and immediately falls to sleep.

Grace wakes up from the sounds of Michelle squeezing in the door carrying her large camera bag.

“Hey, Missy,” Grace says, in a groggy voice.

“Hey, sweets! Sorry, I was trying to be quiet.”

Grace emerges from her bedroom wearing a pair of Jaden’s boxers and a half shirt that reads FOXY.

“So, Foxy, you stole his underwear? You’re such a freakin stalker!” Michelle teases.

Grace flops on the couch, brings her knees to her chest, and pouts as she rests her head sideways on her knees, her big green eyes staring at Michelle.

“What?” Michelle asks, as she takes a seat next to her. “He hasn’t called yet, has he?”

Grace shakes her head.

“He’s busy trying to put his record together, and with all the construction going on at his house, it’s probably just gotten away from him. Oh! And don’t forget the time difference!” she says, undoubtedly trying her hardest to condone the fact that Jaden has not called Grace.

“It takes five minutes to call to say hello!”

Michelle sits next to her and puts her arm around Grace bringing her close to her body. Her sister’s warmth always comforts Grace.

“He’ll call. Don’t worry.”

Ian lies in the bed he used to share with Grace. Unwelcome tears trickle from his eyes. He physically aches for her. How can he forget her when every song that he has written is about her? Every song that the fans love is about Grace, and he cannot stop playing just because it makes him feel sad.

Ian crawls off the bed and walks over to the closet. He unzips the garment bag and brushes his fingers over Grace’s lacey wedding dress.

He has tried calling the Hathaway’s telephone so many times that James has finally changed the number. Before the number was changed, he was always greeted with a “Stop calling!” or a swift silence on the other end.

He writes letters on a weekly basis, mails them to the Hathaway home, and never receives a response from Grace. He has thought about getting in his old Nova and heading to Ocean View, but he has not built up the courage yet. He knows that Grace wants nothing to do with him from the lack of response he has gotten, but he just cannot give up on her. It has been months since he has seen her, but he prays that she is unable to move on without him. The same way he is unable to move on without her.

Jaden is sound asleep when the ringing of his telephone rudely wakes him from a dream of Grace. Fumbling for the phone he picks it up.

“Jaden?”

Am I still dreaming or is she really calling me?
A cough escapes his chest as he says, “Yeah.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“
Ahh
, yeah. It’s cool though. How are you, Grace?”

There is a long pause before she answers him. “You haven’t called or anything?”

He takes a deep disappointed breath in and blows it out slowly. Reaching for the joint on his nightstand he lights it, inhaling deeply. He knew this was coming. How does he explain to her what he is thinking without hurting her feelings or divulging the truth?

“I’m sorry,” he says, simply not knowing what else to say.

“I’m confused.”

He can only reply with another apology.

“What’s going on with us, Jaden?” she asks, sounding impatient.

He takes another drag on his joint, blows out the smoke and says blatantly, “Nothing.”

“Oh. Okay. Fine.”

“Grace, I want you. I do,” he pauses, “I do love you.”

Grace huffs.

“I do. But let’s face it, sugar. You’re five thousand and some odd miles away from me. You’re clear across the Atlantic. My life is here. I have so much major shit going on right now. My record is almost done. The band is going into the studio next weekend. I—”

“Just stop, Jaden. Stop making excuses! If you really love me as you confessed when you were here and just said again a minute ago, then you would try to make the distance between us work.”

Jaden knows she is right, and she is also right that he is making excuses. What he cannot confess to her is that being around Ian again, makes it too hard for him to go forward in a relationship with her. He does love her, but he knows if Ian ever found out what he has done, what they have done, again, it will ruin their friendship forever. Ian still talks about Grace almost daily, and Jaden is well aware of all his attempts to contact her. As usual, he knows he acted only on impulse when he slept with Grace in Paris. Impulse and sheer desire.

“I guess I won’t be expecting you sooner rather than later!” Grace says, sharply and then Jaden can hear the click that indicates she has hung up.

It has been two days since her call to Jaden. Grace is so confused by all that has happened between them. She cannot get Jaden out of her head or her heart. As much as she tries to resist the thoughts, she is unable to have the self-control to keep from contacting him again. Instead of calling, she decides that her best course is to email him, at least this way she will not hear the rejection in his voice. She sits down at the desk and types out an email.

Jaden,

I can’t believe that after all that I have gone through, that you, the one person that I trusted, would treat me this way! You know how heartbroken I was over Ian, and you came here giving me hope that I could actually fall in love again. You did, Jaden, you did make me fall in love again. Only to break my heart! Why would you lie to me like this? If you just wanted to have sex with me just say that! You didn’t have to lie to me to get in my pants. I thought we cared about each other enough to be honest with one another. I don’t know how I can ever forgive you for breaking my heart.

Grace

Grace stares at the computer. She is anxious to send the email, but she is so furious with him, yet her heart longs for her friend and lover. The anger builds as she re-reads her words. She slams her hand down on the mouse, and clicks send.

For several days, she constantly checks her cell phone and the computer for a reply from Jaden. His lack of response makes her feel as she never has before, that Jaden does not even care for her as a friend.
He used me
. Now she knows that she was nothing more to Jaden than a lay.

Grace is sitting in her usual spot at the café down the street from her home, sipping on her coffee. The alert tone that indicates she has a new email rings on her cell phone. She looks down at it and immediately recognizes Jaden’s email address. She was just beginning to accept the fact that he was not going to respond to her.

Grace,

Look, when I planned on coming there, it never once crossed my mind that I was going to try and get into your pants. It just happened. It shouldn’t have happened. I do love you. You’re one of my best friends. But you and me, sugar, that ain’t never gonna work. I never want to be without you as my friend, fuck my life would be horrible if that happened, but we can’t be together as a couple. I was wrong to write to you what I did in that note. I was not trying to hurt you. I can’t help it that I felt that way when I wrote that letter. I shouldn’t have given you false hopes. I realized when I got home that it just can’t work between us. I can’t be with a girl that I only see once a year. I hope that you will believe me that I never meant to hurt you. I was just living in the moment and not using my head. I don’t regret what happened with us, I only regret that I hurt you. Please don’t be mad at me. I DO love you.

Jaden

Grace slams her cell phone shut and grabs her coffee, feeling irate. His words have only enraged her further.
Bullshit! He just wanted sex! Now he feels guilty about it and wants my forgiveness? Screw him.

She looks at the time glowing on her cell phone and realizes she has to get to class before she is late.

Grace runs into her class, barely making it on time, and takes her seat next to Eddie. As usual, he just nods and smiles with his stunning smile.

After class, she gathers her things and darts out the door. She can feel someone walking behind her and turns to see who it is. Eddie stops walking and smiles, his hands tucked in the pockets of his blue jeans, his head facing the pavement.

“You’re fast.”

“Oh hey, Eddie,” she says, faking a smile.

Eddie approaches her, seeming to take care with every step. His golden, dirty blond curls catch the sunlight, which distracts Grace from how angry she is for a moment.