The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (79 page)

Now we're talking more in the neighborhood of $4.55 per person, or $341.25 all told. The rental bill for a buffet reception can end up being as much as 20 percent of your total reception costs. We suggest you don't go overboard and run up costs that you will regret later on. Rent
with
your head, not over it.

Now, if you live in an area that has stores with bargains on glassware, for example, it's entirely possible that you can find a great deal on something like champagne flutes. One groom we know planned on renting everything, but became a little bit unglued at the thought of having to spend $1 apiece on stemware that he'd have to return. He did a little researching and found that at his local discount warehouse, he could
buy
nicer glasses—for $1.20. Since the glasses were something he figured he might need in the future, he became the proud owner of forty champagne flutes for only $8 more than the rental charge would have been.

Discount stores, restaurant supply houses and Internet sites are all great places to buy what you need instead of renting. If you're buying over the Net, keep in mind the added cost of shipping and handling. Tableware is heavy.

Having said that, we return to the premise that renting is a quick and simple way to solve common problems in planning the wedding and reception. No one is expected to have on hand six eight-foot buffet tables or one-hundred chairs, or have matching cutlery for sixty lying around in their kitchen drawer.

Here are some additional hints to take with you when you go to the rental store:

As the medical profession has specialists, so does the rental industry. If you're in an urban area, look around and you'll probably be able to find a company that specializes in party goods. You'll get a larger selection and more personalized service. In some cities, there are even rental houses that specialize in fine merchandise and offer the very best crystal and china available.

Feel the fabric of tablecloths and napkins. White, starched 100 percent cotton tablecloths and white polyester-blend tablecloths are two entirely different animals.

Be sure to look at a sample of the actual color. (“Dusty rose” napkins can be more like pink; “rose” is a dark red. “Ruby red” is another story entirely.)

If you have a choice between three different kinds of chairs, pretend you're Goldilocks and sit on each one to see for yourself which is the most comfortable.

Recommendations that tell you how many people a table will hold are guidelines, not rules. If you want ten people to sit at a six-foot round table, have the store place ten chairs around it; then sit down and picture nine of your relatives squished around you on all sides.

Take a tape measure along to double-check on sizes and heights, especially for architectural items. “Oh yes, ma'am, I'm sure that gazebo will fit through your gate” is the kind of statement that nightmares are made of.

Notice the weight and the pattern of the silverware; if there's a choice to be made, hold a sample of each utensil.

A caterer gave us this tip for renting chafing dishes for large parties: if you're planning on leaving the dish uncovered for most of the reception, you don't need to rent the ones with silver-plated lids; they're almost double the cost of the basic stainless steel ones, and since the lids will be off, no one will know the difference.

Finally, rentals need not come solely from a party rental house. Some other places you might look for some of your more unusual needs are display houses, tent and tool supply shops, community theaters, schools, civic organizations, newspaper classified ads, and audiovisual houses.

If you have a slew of kids coming to your event, look into renting a blow-up bounce house. They come in all shapes and sizes and will keep the kids occupied for hours. If you go this route, be sure to hire or appoint an adult to supervise.

Every man should own at least one dress—and so should lesbians.

—L
ESBIAN ACTIVIST
J
ANE
A
DAMS
S
PAHR

“I
HAVEN'T GOT
a thing to wear.” You've probably said this at some point in your life, but this time it may be true. Or, you might have something waiting in the wings for just this sort of occasion. And this isn't a solo act; you're going to have to coordinate clothing not only with your partner, but with your entire wedding party if you choose to have one. What to wear, what to wear… where to start?