Read The Douchebag Bible Online
Authors: TJ Kirk
jump scares replace suspense? When did by-the-
book homogeneity of thought and execution replace
innovation and story telling? I'm not saying that
everything new is bad and everything old was
great—what I'm saying is that so much now is bad in
exactly the same way. Because artists don't matter
any more. The creative process of individual
creators has been replaced by test audiences, market
studies, simplifying plots for foreign markets, etc.
It seems like actors are picked for leading roles
based on little more than their ability to have well-
defined physiques and actresses are picked for
supporting roles (almost exclusively supporting
roles) based on how many men around the world
will want to fuck them. It seems like scripts are
chosen based on the fact that they are adaptations of
something already successful or are remakes,
sequels or rip-offs. Nothing original gets a bankroll.
And the same industries that give us this brain-
numbing shlock are also the ones most keen on
depriving us of our freedoms. SOPA and PIPA were
born in Hollywood. And they will be reborn in
Hollywood. The entertainment industry is never
going to relent on its quest to deprive us of internet
freedom. The entertainment industry is one of the
scummiest industries around and their role in the
increasingly shitty modern world we live in is greatly
underestimated.
FEMINISTS (AND
OTHER BORING
PEOPLE TRYING
TO SUCK THE
LIFE AND JOY
OUT OF THE
WORLD)
Feminists
like to act as
though rape jokes permeate
The
our culture. “
Rape jokes
marginalize victims!” we are told.
“They normalize rape! They give solace to rapists!”
With all the anger directed at rape jokes, I’ve had a
lot of time to reflect on just how many rape jokes
there
aren’t
.
Seriously, aside from two George Carlin rape
jokes, neither of which I find very funny (nothing to
do with being offended, they’re just not great jokes),
I can only think of a single rape joke:
4 out of 5 people enjoy gang rape.
This joke incorporates rape as an element. But I’m
honestly not truly sure that you could really even
consider this one a “rape joke.” It’s not making a joke
about rape. It’s just using rape for shock value. The
joke is actually being made about the deceptiveness
of statistics. The implication is, of course, that the 4
people out of 5 who like the gang rape are the rapists
and 1 person who doesn’t like it is of course the
person being raped.
“4 out of 5 people” sets up a certain expectation.
We hear this all the time.
5 out of 6 dentists
recommend Crest! 3 out of 4 vets agree that Science
Diet’s patented formula leads to a healthier life for
your pet! Etc.
“Enjoy gang rape” takes our expectations and
twists them. We’re not going to the safe place we
expected. We find ourselves going somewhere dark.
The shock alone might induce a bit of nervous
laughter.
But what really makes the humor work is that
we see how the statement has a horrible technical
truth to it. If four men are raping a woman or
another man, they probably are enjoying themselves.
And their victim is almost certainly not enjoying
him- or herself.
This technical truth draws our focus back to
the original expectation. We think to ourselves,
“Maybe the methods of arriving at the conclusion
that 5 out of 6 dentists recommend Crest is equally
a “technical” truth rather than a “true” truth.
So, the focus on the joke is really more on
statistics, and the way people use them to mislead,
than it is about rape. The gang rape component is
only included because it’s a dark and shocking
example of how a statistic might be manipulated or
how our perceptions of reality might be misled by
the careful omission of certain data.
The most recent rape joke controversy that got
the feminazi saber-rattlers in a tizzy was when
comedian Daniel Tosh fired back at a heckler by
saying that she should be raped or that someone in
the audience should rape her. Predictably, the
feminists were offended and called for Tosh's head