The Covent Garden Ladies (23 page)

And many a plant here has taken root’.

This young lady is finely made, with a prepossessing countenance, expressive dark eyes, fine hands and arms, and proclaims the woman of consequence fit for the first rate company, into which she is often introduced. Nevertheless, having got the better of that mauvaise houte, with which our ladies are so much accused, with what reason it is difficult to say, she is careless about her expressions and neither shudders at a double entendre, or trembles at a single entendre: in fine, she may, in more senses than one, be pronounced a great linguist. A velvet salute of this kind, had nearly disgusted Lord L—; but having got over the first impression, he found that her tongue was attuned to
more airs than one; but she never admits either of her mouths to be play’d with for less than two guineas. She appears very genteel, and is supposed to be in keeping by a Mr. Grace of Duke Street, St. James. (1789)

Flagellation

Miss Loveborn, No.32, George Street, Queen Anne Street East

If we are not misinformed, this lady is one of the daughters of fortune, having a pretty good income left her by an old flagellant, who she literally flogged out of the world, and will probably more, as she is an expert at this manoeuvre as Mrs. Birch herself, of Chapel Street, Soho. Indeed she is very happily constructed for this bizarrerie, as the French call it, being of middle size and well set together, and never leaves off, ‘till her patient (for patient he must be in our opinion,) is completely gratified. Such gratification, good Lord keep us from! But it has been observed by a great Philosopher that there must be characters of every complexion and disposition to fill up the great chasm of nature; the chain of individual existence would not be complete if there were a single link wanting; and Miss L—n is so attentive to her interests, that she will never let a link escape her, so which she thinks she has any claim.

Oeconomy is seldom a virtue practiced by females of her profession but we can produce an instance of it in this lady, which is as whimsical as it is extraordinary. The chandler’s shop which furnishes her with brooms, her chief birchen instrument of delight, has agreed to furnish her in turn with tea, coffee, butter, bread and all other articles sold in the shop at a considerable reduced price on condition that she does not purchase brooms any where else; and it is generally believed it is a very advantageous contract for both parties. (1790)

Miss Lee, Berwick Street, Soho

‘Oh pray mamma! Let me down!

You will find me the best boy in town;

I’ll never while I live offend,

I promise you, you will find me mend!’

This young lady is tall and genteel, and about seventeen, with sandy colour hair, and fine blue eyes that are delicious; her complexion is delicate and fair, but we cannot refrain saying, she has a piece of the termagant about her, which however, she qualifies with a whimsicality of humour that renders it supportable. She was debauched by a young counsellor, from a boarding school near town, where she was apprentice. Her mistress surprising her one day with a certain naughty book, took her into the whipping room, where having tied her on a horse that is always there for the use of correction, she whipped her with a large rod, made of green birch, till through fatigue, the rod dropped from her hands; the counsellor meeting with her a few days after, she told him how she had been used by her governess for the book he had lent her; he took immediately a room for her, and visited her till he went to Ireland. She found herself for some time very much embarrassed, till meeting with a merchant of the city, who is fond of the rod, she soon appeared again at the theatres, which she frequents very much.

She dresses always very elegantly, and in the season she is very seldom without the most enormous nosegay of luscious flowers, which she generally wears very high on the left side of her bosom, having discovered that many gentlemen have a great partiality for that effeminate ornament. She is constantly visited by amateurs of birch discipline, being always furnished with brooms of green birch and of the best quality, and is always very happy to see any friend that feels himself inclinable to spend three or four guineas in her company. (1793)

Rear-entry

Betsy Miles, at a Cabinet maker’s Old Street, Clerkenwell

‘Which way you will and please you’

Known in this quarter for her immense sized breasts, which she alternately makes use of with the rest of her parts, to indulge those who are particularly fond of a certain amusement. She is what you may call, at all; backwards and forewards, are all equal to her, posteriors not excepted, nay indeed, by her own account she has most pleasure in the latter. Very fit for a foreign Macaroni—entrance at the front door tolerably reasonable, but nothing less
than two pound for the back way. As her person has nothing remarkable one way or the other, we shall leave her for those of the Italian gusto. (1773)

Bisexual

Mrs. Forbes, Back of Yeoman’s Row, Brumpton

‘Tis now before you, and the pow’r to chuse’

Mrs. Forbes takes her name from a General so called, to whom she pretends she was married; but we give no more credit to this than we should to any part of her own story, had she the telling of it. She is about 36, very much pitted with the small-pox, light brown hair, rather above the common size. How such a piece of goods first came to our market we are at a loss to guess. We have indeed heard that she lived some time servant in Wapping; and, as the tars are good natured, free-hearted fellows, and, after long voyages, are not very nice in their choice, they might perhaps have done her a good-natured action; this is the only way we can account for it, every other seems absurd to us. Her hands and arms; her limbs indeed, in general, are more calculated for the milk-carrier, than the soft delights of love; however, if she finds herself but in small estimation with our sex, she repays them the compliment, and frequently declares that a female bedfellow can give more real joys than ever she experienced with the male part of the sex: perhaps her demands in that way may be so great she never found a man able to supply her; this is but a natural conclusion when a lady is remarked for paying visits to a fellow famous only for ideotism. The proverb indeed is on her side, and perhaps she has found it true. The ingenious author of the Woman of Pleasure
¹³
has given us a noble picture of it in the foolish nosegay man.

Many of the pranks she has played with her own sex in bed (where she is as lascivious as a goat) have come to our knowledge; but, from our regard to the delicacy of the sex, are suppressed, but in no sort as a favour to her; our plan indeed is too confined to admit of it: but we can assure her, unless she gives over that scandalous itch of hers to sow disentions where harmony and peace should ever reign, and which she envies because she can not attain to—we shall not forget her next year, but be more explicit—and moreover acquaint
her old drone of a keeper, in King’s-bench Walks in the Temple, of her lewd pranks and amorous feats. (1773)

DENOUNCED!

Polly Kennedy, Manchester Buildings

A good likely girl of Irish birth; and they never transplant flowers of her kind in this soil, till they are rotten there. In a word, this girl has been salivated
¹⁴
, till from the constant use of mercury, it has almost lost its effects upon her; and after having been dragged thro’ every kennel in Dublin, she is come over to London to set up as a first rate courtesan. There is some blockhead or other, who has now got her in keeping, is as well satisfied with her, as Ixion was with the cloud when he embraced it for Juno. (1761)

Miss Young, No. 6, Cumberland Court or Turk’s Head Bagnio, Bridge’s Street

Miss Young is an adopted child to the bawd, who keeps, or more properly speaking, is kept by the above mentioned houses, and is so very fond of cutting a figure, that in a hired tawdry silk gown, she will fancy herself a woman of the first quality.

We mentioned her in the last list as tolerably handsome, but of a disposition mercenary, almost beyond example, her beauty is now vanished, but her avarice remains, and what is worse, she has very lately had the folly and wickedness to leave a certain hospital, before the cure of a certain distemper which she had was completed, and has thrown her contaminated carcase on the town again, for which we hold her inexcusable, and which was our only reason for repeating her name, that her company might be avoided, and that she might be held in the infamous light she so justly deserves for her wilful villainy. (1779)

Mrs. Berry, King’s Place, Pall Mall

‘Mercury upon most women has some effect’

An arrant Brimstone of Irish birth, who pretends to set up as one of the first rank courtezans, and would impose upon us her stale and battered commodity for fresh fruit, but we think our judgment cannot be imposed upon at this time of day, and are of opinion she has undergone too many salivations, that the power of Mercury has lost its effect upon her: in a word she is almost rotten, and her breath is cadaverous. (1773 supplement)

FOREIGNERS

Madam Dafloz, No.46, Frith Street, Soho

‘Si javois pour heritage,

Le trésor le plus charmant

Je vous en donnerois en gage,

Á mon coeur pour un present’

It is only six months since this lady has left her native country, and at present speaks very little English. She is young and lively, (but still does not seem to possess so much vivacity as the majority of her countrywomen); She loves to avenge her countryman’s cause on the English, by doing what the most valorous Frenchman would never effect, that is, to bring Britons on their knees; she is now twenty-two, rather short and fat, with a plump face and such a roguish lear in her eye, that can not be resisted. Several of our brave officers have spent some of their best blood in her service, and regretted they had no more to shed. Her lovely dark hair seems like a net to catch lovers, and her lower tendrils which sport on her alabaster mount of Venus, are formed to give delight. She has one qualification which many English girls want, which is a certain cleanliness in the Netherlands. They are contented to wash their faces, necks and hands; but Mademoiselle, like many of her countrywomen, thinks that not enough; she performs constant ablutions on the gulph of pleasure, and keeps it constantly fresh, cool, and clean, never putting a morsel into that mouth, till she has fully absterged every possible remnant of the last meal. She constantly mounts her bidet, and with a large sponge laves the whole extent of the parish of the mother of all saints. Some may, perhaps, think her a female spy, or a smuggler; but surely a girl, who so freely discloses her own secrets, can have no improper aim at those of government.

She dresses quite in the French stile and taste, lays on a profusion of rouge and pearl powder, and is not particularly partial to money, but will condescend to take a couple of guineas, not as payment, but solely as
une gage d’amour
. (1788)

Mrs. Charlotte Ferne, No.41, King Street, Soho

‘To tell the beautie’s of the place,

How weak is human tongue,

The noble fringes which it grace,

In golden ringlets hung’

Charlotte received a good education and was once far above the perambulating class of nymphs, and might, perhaps have remained so had not her violent attachment to the curs’d buckle and belt society, rendered her disgusting in the eyes of all her friends; Mr. Goblett, brother to a tallow chandler, of Carnaby Market, took particular notice of her, and removed her once from her hated crew, allowed her a tolerable provision, and would have continued her friend, had not her rage for the old society made him forfeit his esteem. She is now rather in the wane, having seen at least twenty-eight summers, tall and very well proportioned; her complexion is but indifferent, but being a native of Germany, is not to be wondered at; she speaks French also, but we cannot get her to confess she has been ten years on the town, unless you pay her a guinea fee for confessing. (1788)

Madamoiselle, at Mrs. W—lp—les, No.1 Poland Street

‘Here I would die each blissful night,

Here chase the fleeting time away,

And Whelm’d in love’s serene delight

Rise full of life at happy day’

Every girl with a beautiful face and a good form, must in some measure, please; but very few among this list of trading nymphs afford that pleasure in enjoyment you meet with, in this delectable piece. She is now on the verge of twenty four, with fine dark hair, love sparkling eyes, and such a set
of teeth as would defy the power of a Spence to imitate, or the brush of Ruspini to improve. You may toy and kiss with this charming girl, if you please, but she does not suffer that kind of amorous dalliance long; she eagerly thirsts for more substantial pleasure, and has either by experience or instinct, a most pleasing knack of prolonging the dying moment, first as nature, by inarticulate sounds, and short fetched sighs, proclaim the coming shower, her eager grasp suddenly suspends the liquid treasure and drains, by slow degrees, the soft injection, making it almost, with Dr Graham ‘the critical hour’. This enchanting game she has played for two years, and if you are her partner, she expects at least double the number of yellow boys
¹⁵
. If report speaks truth, this lady has been a singer at the Opera House in Paris, and we have no doubt that she is a native of Italy. (1789)