The Covent Garden Ladies (20 page)

But shun the sight of her victorious eyes.’

Of all vices we detest ingratitude, and we are afraid this lady would accuse us on that head, if we did not acknowledge the favours we have received from her in her single state. About 13 years ago, Miss Barton did not keep her coach, but has often been glad to take her place even behind that of the celebrated Lucy Cooper, when coming from the hop
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at Mrs. Park’s in Aldersgate Street, where she was famous for singing a song, and beating time with her elbow, like Mr. Shuter in Love for Love; this expedient has got her many a shilling, which the company have club’d to reward her in some ingenuity.

Some time after she appeared at Drury-lane, in the character of Miss Lucy, in The Virgin Unmasked. After this she married a trumpeter, whose name she now bears; went to Ireland, where she staid some time, and improved herself in the theatrical way; and coming over with her favourite swain (a perfomer at Drury-lane), engaged again at Drury-lane; where, by her excellence in her cast of parts, (Mrs. Clive having left the stage) she stands unrivalled.

Mr. Abbington, her husband, sold her to Mr.—for 500l. and entered into articles never to molest him in the possession of her. The gentleman’s death (by which she expected great things) freed him from the bargain, but they do not live together. She keeps an elegant house, and Mr. Jefferson is constantly
with her. Her salary, though genteel, is not sufficient to maintain her table and manner of living; but her amour with Mr.—sufficiently makes up the deficiency. She is remarked in the company for her compassion and good-nature. Can any of our readers suppose, from so humane a disposition, that she would suffer any gentleman to die with despair for her? No: we can assure them to the contrary; but then the approaches must be made the proper way; sighs and oaths and such stuff alone will not do; a little of them may be proper, and also to convince her you really are a gentleman.

N.B. She measures gentility by the weight of the purse. (1773)

EXOTICS

Miss Love, No. 14, George Street, Tottenham Court Road

‘The Gods on her have well bestowed,

Indeed she’s finely fur belowed’

Eliza is of a dark complexion, being a downright mulatto, and intimates by the thickness of her hair and her eyebrows, that she is well furred-below. Though she is somewhat addicted to swearing, the men all swear in turn, that she is a d—d fine hairy piece; and not withstanding the jolly god now and then gets the better of her, she generally gets the better of all her bush fighting antagonists in the long run, as she has her hours of relaxation from the feats of Bacchus as well as Venus; she tells a good story, and can produce an excellent tale, which she charges little more for than it is well worth, considering the scarcity of its complexion in this country, being but very lately imported from the West Indies. She is tall and genteel, about eighteen years of age, and is said to be in keeping by an American. (1789)

Miss Lorraine, No.30, Goodge Street, Tottenham Court Road

‘Now by my Hood, a Gentile, and no Jew!’

This Lady is commonly called the agreeable Jewess, for what reason those who have seen the lady can only determine; for she has not the covetousness
or artifice which attends all the followers of the law of Moses; nor like them is distinguished among her neighbours for ‘spoiling them of their jewels of silver, and their jewels of gold’. It may perhaps be accounted for upon other principles, for though she is genteely made, and has a very good face, yet a fine black eye, and black hair, make her look not unlike to one of the daughters of Abraham. Her mouth is small, and looks like Suckling’s girl in the song of the wedding, whose nether lip, ‘look’s as if some bee had stung it newly’. Her conversation is pleasing, she drinks little and swears seldom; so that, as times go, she is a very desirable companion. (1790)

Miss Robinson, At the Jelly Shops

‘Avoid the danger which you ought to fear’

This lady is a Jew but has no objection to a bit of Christian flesh—but not in Shylock’s way: she chuses her lover, and less than a pound will satisfy her. She was a long time confin’d in the Marshalsea, and during the whole winter charitably supplied the prison with firring: she is not long at liberty, and I suppose will confer the same favour on many a poor gentleman the approaching cold season: ‘tis said that the Jews have no regard for the gentiles; is not this a convincing proof to the contrary? She was so very good natured to Mr. Pilstow, a young Quaker, a fellow prisoner with her, that they say she gave him sufficient to keep him warm for two or three years. She is rather tall, dark brown or rather black hair, large dark eyes and eyebrows, a slim and genteel made girl—but rather too flat. (1773)

Mrs. M—c—ntee, No.2, York Street, Middlesex Hospital

‘—The wife experienced dame,

Cracks and rejoices in the flame.’

This lady who has some experience of the town, has profitted much of that experience, and is an excellent bedfellow. She is called ‘The Armenian’, but has none of their religious prejudices; for she prefers natural opinions in the daily exercise of which she is zealous and vigorous; she looks upon these opinions as the whole duty of man, and makes it her complete practice of piety.

She is of a middling size, has black hair and eyes, with a good face, though much pitted with the small pox, and as her practice has had long continuance and has been extensive, yet she is still nevertheless, a very agreeable companion, and not much exceeding two and twenty years of age; price one pound one. (1790)

Miss Cross, Bridges Street

A smart little black gypsy, with a very endearing symmetry of parts; has an odd way of wriggling herself about, and can communicate the most exquisite sensations when she is well paid. (1764)

CRIMINALS

Lucy P-t-rson, St. Martin’s Lane

Her father was originally a publican in Clare Market, but being detected in some fraudulent practices with regard to his liquors, was brought in a debtor to the crown, for which he died a prisoner in Newgate. His daughter was debauched probably by some crew of that place, and to that may perhaps be attributed her exact probation of the manner of so excellent an academy. She is not pretty, neither ugly; but is as lewd as goats and monkies; and she generally has a design upon her friend’s watch, purse, or handkerchief. She frequently visits Bridewell, and is in a homely phrase, a vile bitch. (1761)

Mrs. Cumming, Bow Street, Covent Garden

This female heroine was a long time bar-keeper to the notorious Terry Masionery of the Green Rails, Oyster Street, Portsmouth, where she soon became, under his tuition, a perfect adept in all his villainous undertakings, of which so sensible was he of her use, that he bequeath’d her his whole property when he died, and truly she was justly intitled to it; soon after his decease she engaged herself with a sprightly young fellow well known in the purlieus of Covent Garden, as a pickpocket, where between them it is said they have acquired a considerable sum; she is sure to be met with at Stirlings, and if disengaged sure to be introduced to you, as she is a great
favourite of the younger S—g, and has the title of being his hack; she is pretty tall woman, about thirty years of age, pitted a little with the small pox, and a remarkable good piece; a single guinea will be both acceptable and satisfactory. (1789)

Miss West, No. 14, Wild Street

‘O! Think not that she came to town last week,

The waggon straw’s yet hanging to her tail’

This lady is half sister to the celebrated Miss West, whose abilities in the arts and sciences are so well known at every academy in town, and we can assure the public that she is no changeling, for though she is not highly renowned as Betsy, she has equal merit, though she appears and behaves like an ignorant country girl, yet those who take her for such, will, in all probability, soon find the contrary to their cost; for she is as light finger’d and as expert as a jugler. She is rather short, her eyes and hair are jet black, and her complexion is very dark, she dresses very plain, but exceeding neet, and can pick her gallant’s pocket very coolly be he ever so agreeable; for like Jenny Diver
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, she has other kinds of men to employ her leisure hours with in private. (1779)

VETERANS IN THE FIELD OF VENUS

Kitty B—ckley, Poland Street

This lady has been at the service of every man that has a mind to her, from her thirteenth year. Her mamma was a midwife in Ireland, from which country Miss B-ckley came. No woman was ever more hackney’d from the lord to the porter; Turks, Jews, Papists; every sect, and every country have tasted her sweet body. She is really an elegant figure, and has a charming sweetness in her countenance; but she is as wicked as a devil, and as extravagant as Cleopatra. She is generally three times a year in the bailiff’s hands, but still makes a figure. She is now descending into the vale of years, being at least five and thirty; and is reported to have ruined twenty keepers. (1761)

Mrs. Hamblin, No. 1, Naked-Boy Court, near the New Church, Strand

‘The plaister’d nymph returns the kiss,

Like Thisby, through a wall’

The young lady in question, is not above fifty-six, and according to her own confession has been a votary to pleasure these thirty years, she wears a substantial mask upon her face, and is rather short. We should not have introduced her here, but that on account of her long experience and extensive practice, we know that she must be particularly useful to elderly gentlemen, who are very nice in having their linen got up. (1779)

Nancy V-ne alias Basket, Charles Street, Westminster

A woman somewhat turned of forty, motherly and careful, and very fit for grown gentlemen to amuse themselves with; I mean gentlemen who have been old, are grown young again, and come under the birch rod. She flays, they say with an amazing grace. This is all we know of her, she seldom coming abroad till the batt and night birds appear. She thinks she is like a certain right honourable courtezan, and therefore assumes her name. – She is called Basket from a former keeper. (1761)

NOVICES

Polly Jackson, Late of the above place (Rathbone Place, No.22) and now in Scotland Yard, with Nancy St—y

‘Youth without beauty has still its charms’

Polly is a little fluttering child, about fourteen years of age, has full dark eyes, and a projecting mouth, with tolerable good teeth; but upon the whole, nothing striking or extraordinary. If her youth, and her not being fledged, are recommendations, she is certainly possessed of them. She was debauched about ten months ago by the noted Capt. Jones, who was convicted of an unnatural crime: it seems to coincide with his love of small commodities; for to be sure Polly could not have been fit, at that time, for any man even of middling parts.
She has passed for a maidenhead since that period twenty times, and is paid accordingly; and being under the direction of a very good lady, who directs her to play her part to admiration, she is in a fair way of getting money. (1773)

Miss Saunders, facing the Lancashire Witch, James Street

Heaven gave her one face, and she makes herself another, for though she has a natural fresh bloom, yet she be-plaisters her face with paint, to the great disparagement of her features, which are most exquisitely formed in the most exact mould that nature ever made. She is but 15, and is indeed an enchanting creature; she has eyes clear and as fine coloured as the azure blue, and her hair curls in a thousand artless ringlets down her snowy neck, she is tall of her age, and has a beautiful complexion; as to her meretricious performances, though we never heard them spoken of, yet we think they cannot fail of being transporting and extraordinary. (1779)

Miss —, No.44, Newman Street, Oxford Street

‘Here stop your wandering steps, thou am’rous youth,

Behold this emblem of untainted truth;

Her eyes declare the secret flame within,

Her lovely form would tempt a saint to sin.’

This petite belle has not yet attained her sixteenth year; and, to make amends for her deficiency of height, she is elegantly formed, nor does she lack beauty. Her sparkling eyes would warm an anchorite. Her hair is beautifully fair: and her liveliness in conversation renders her a most agreeable companion. Two guineas will bring you better acquainted with this charmer; nor will you have cause for disagreeable reflections from her acquaintance. (1793)

PARTICULARLY UNPLEASANT

Pol Forrester, Bow Street

The very opposite of her namesake, being disagreeable, ugly, and ill-behaved. She has an entrance to the palace of pleasure as wide as a church door; and a
breath worse than a Welch bagpipe. She drinks like a fish, eats like a horse, and swears like a trooper. – An errant drab. (1761)

Miss Adams, at Mrs. Freeland’s, Bow Street, Covent Garden

‘A filthy conquest only you might boast’

Come forward, thou dear, drowsy, gin-drinking, snuff-taking Miss Adams: What in the name of wonder could influence you to leave a profession in which you was bred, for one which you do not appear to have the least pretensions. I must own, I cannot say what hidden charms you may possess. Don’t you think those arms and hands of yours had better stuck to their original calling, cleaning of grates, scrubbing of floors, and keeping a house neat and clean, than drinking arrack-punch, getting drunk, and setting up for a fine lady? But soft: we are finding fault with the wrong person; ‘tis your admirers who are to blame, that are so blind as not to distinguish between the girl of beauty and merit, and a drunken, snuffy drab, who is generally to propose a question or give an answer.