The Confession (25 page)

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Authors: Jeanette Muscella

Tags: #crisis of faith, #families in crisis, #fiction about relationships and families

BOOK: The Confession
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“I want to look pretty for
John.”

Tears welled in John’s
eyes. He quickly said
goodnight
to Olivia and left the room.
Several minutes later, Jennifer found him sitting on the front
porch. He was still crying.

Concerned, she knelt in front of him.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

John reached out and cupped
her face with his strong hands. “I never thought this would happen
to me. I never thought I could be this happy. I love
you,
Jennifer. I love all of you so very much, and I am scared. I
am still a priest. We cannot have an intimate relationship until my
release from the church is official. I want so much to touch you,
to make love to you.”

“Oh, John, I love you too,
and I will wait for you. I love having you here with me. The
children adore you. I have never seen Olivia so
animated.”

“I
want
to be honest with
you Jenny. I want to marry you. I want to be Olivia and Jason’s
father. I have so many plans in my head. Once my release is final,
Pastor Greene told me that he would expedite my application. Once I
complete the required religious training, I will have my
assignment. I want us to be married before I perform my first
church service. I want my wife and children in the front
pew.”

“I want that too John. I am
so happy. I love
you,
John.”

“I love you too Jenny, with all that I
am.”

Gail cried when she saw what used to be
her leg. The calf muscle atrophied to the extent that she had no
muscle tone. “Enjoy the week off with your family, because once you
return, the hard work begins. Keep the weight off the leg as much
as possible. Use crutches to get around. You need to regain the
strength in your other leg. Don’t be upset Gail, this is normal,
and your muscle tone will return once you start
therapy.”

“Look at my leg. I have a ton of
ingrown hair and dead skin. Mom, my leg looks awful.”

Lydia tried not to admit that her leg
looked gross. Gail was in desperate need of an exfoliation. “I have
the perfect solution. We will stop by the drug store and pick up a
few things. I will fix your leg sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.”
Later that day, Gail had a smile on her face, and a smooth
leg.

Adam called his father. “Lydia and I
are heading down to Cape May. Gail had the cast removed earlier
today. Come with us. We’ll book a room for you, and the two of you
can relax for a week.”

“I think your mother would
love a week at the
Cape
. Book the room and we’ll drive down
tomorrow morning. Oh, we are going to have fun!”

Later that day, everyone
crammed into the SUV and drove to Cape May. Gail and Bobby were
engrossed in their digital
toys
while Lydia took a nap.
The car was quiet, which gave Adam a chance to call John. It
surprised Adam to admit that he missed talking to his
brother.

When John never answered his phone, he
called his mother. “Hi Mom, is John with you? He’s not answering
his cell phone.”

“No. He went for a run about an hour
ago. He had his cell phone with him. He should be back soon. Hold
on a minute. Someone is banging on my front door.”

While he waited, Adam heard
the
commotion
and his mother
screaming
. He heard his Mother
cry out, “Oh no, is John seriously injured?”

Adam snapped to attention and jerked
the car forcefully onto the side of the road. The sudden sharp
movement woke Lydia. “Why did we pull over?”

“Something’s happened to
John,” Adam said. He yelled into the phone. “Mom, can you hear me?
What has happened to John? Mom,
please answer
me.”

Several seconds had
passed
before she responded. “Oh Adam, John was shot in the shoulder
outside the playground. The ambulance took him to U of P
Hospital.”

“Is he ok?”

“I don’t know. The police are in my
living room. I have to speak to them. Call me later.”

Adam drove to the first exit and
returned home. He relayed the conversation to his family. As they
were driving, his phone rang. Colin was on the other end. “Adam,
the police have two teenagers in custody. We are at U of P. Hold on
a minute, the nurse is calling me.”

Adam heard muffled voices
in the background. “Adam, are you still there? The nurse just told
me that the
bullet
went through John’s
shoulder
and grazed his collarbone. Your mother is with him now. Stay
on the line. I’m going into his room.”

Adam waited while Colin
talked to John. Other than the
visible
wound to his arm, he
suffered no other injuries. The pain was significant, and John was
properly medicated. He handed his phone to John. “Adam is on the
line,” he said.

“John, what’s happened? Are you
ok?”

His arm ached, and he had a
pounding headache, but he was ok. “I’m
okay
Adam. Please do
not worry about me. Enjoy your vacation please.”

“Do you need me?”

“I appreciate the offer, but no. Mom
has that covered. I will call you tomorrow.” He handed the phone
back to his father.

Colin asked. “Why didn’t you tell Adam
that you need surgery to repair your collarbone?”

“Why
worry the family. They need
a
vacation,
and I don’t want everyone sitting in the emergency
room. Let them have this time, Dad. I’ll be ok once the doctor
repairs the bone.”

John handed his phone to his father.
“Dad, please call Jennifer. Tell her what happened, and please,
tell her that I am ok. I do not want to frighten her. My head is
killing me, and I feel nauseous.”

Colin called her, and
within the hour, she sat holding John’s hand. Colin and Margaret
stayed in the background and watched her intently. When John opened
his eyes, he visibly relaxed when he saw her beautiful face. He
raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed her. “Why are you
crying
honey
? I am ok. I need surgery to repair
my collarbone, and I’ll be home sometime tomorrow.”

“If something happened to
you it would kill me. Are you sure you are ok?
Oh,
John, I love
you.”

“I love you too honey. I promise. I am
ok. Where are the children?”

“Mrs. Mancini is babysitting for
me.”

“Move to the other side of the bed
honey. I need to hold you.”

Jennifer walked to the
other side of the bed and carefully lay next to John. He wrapped
his good arm around her soft body and visibly relaxed. She
put
her head on his shoulder and cried. Colin and Margaret left
the room.

Once in the hallway, Margaret said,
“They love each other. I had no idea they were in a committed
relationship. I thought they were just friends.”

“He will speak to us when
he is ready to discuss their relationship. Give him space Maggie.
These feelings are new
to
him. I like Jennifer. I hope they get
married someday.”

“Married? Oh, that would be
wonderful.”

Chapter 18

Two days later, Adam heard
the familiar sound of his father’s truck pull up
into
the gravel driveway. He was surprised to see John with them,
dressed in shorts and flip-flops. Lydia ran out of the house and
hugged John fiercely. He winced when her hand hit his
wound.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you? Are
you ok?”

“Please everyone, I am ok. The surgery
went well, and I have a few pins in my collarbone. Jennifer ordered
me to take a few days vacation. Who am I to argue? Honestly, I
could use a vacation.”

Lydia whispered to Adam, “Who is
Jennifer?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he has a
girlfriend.”

Adam said, “If you don’t mind sharing a
room with Bobby, you can stay with us.”

Bobby walked to the car and grabbed his
bag. “I’ll sleep on the air bed. You can have the bed.”

“Thank
you,
Bobby. That
would be nice.”

“Can I see the wound?”

John gently peeled back the bandage.
The wound looked irritated and very painful.

“Wow,
that
looks
really gross. Does it hurt?”

John nodded. “On a scale from one to
ten, it’s a nine.”

Lydia scolded her son. “Bobby, leave
your uncle alone. Can’t you see he’s in pain?”

“It’s fine Lydia. Would you
mind if I take a few minutes alone to
pray?
I’d like to take a
walk on the beach.”

As John walked away from them, Adam and
Lydia shared a worried glance with Colin. “Something’s wrong with
him. I can feel it.” Colin said.

Adam agreed. “Give him time to accept
what’s happened.”

John walked along the beach
as if he were in a fog. The pain in his arm also shot up to his
neck and face. He found a quiet spot on the beach and sat in the
sand. Absently, his left hand dug into the sand as pain once again
shot down his arm. The sling that he wore relieved most of the
pressure
on
his arm, and he knew eventually the wound would
heal.

The gentle swishing of the
ocean calmed him. He found an
oddly
shaped seashell next
to
him
and absently turned it over repeatedly in his
hand. It felt good letting his mind go blank. Lost in thought, time
slipped from him. He wanted to shed himself of the stress.
Jennifer’s crying had a profound effect on
him
and solidified his
plans for the future.

When John never returned, Adam went
looking for him. He found John lying on the beach sleeping. Adam
sat down next to him and gently shook him. “I think you need to get
out of the sun before you burn. Look at those pasty white legs.
What’s wrong John? I know you’re upset.”

John had
sat
quietly for several minutes before he spoke. “Have you ever
questioned your existence on this earth? Have you ever wondered
what your purpose in life is? The shooting and everything that has
happened to me since I returned to Philly
have
drained me. The
fact that a
thirteen-year-old
could have killed me
has me very upset. Do you remember what I told you when I signed
the adoption papers?”

Adam remembered clearly,
and the question
unnerved
him. “Yes, I do remember. I
know we haven’t always been close, but I hope you know that you can
talk to me.”

“This is difficult for me
Adam. When I was in the emergency room, I was sitting on the gurney
in my
blood-stained
running shirt and shorts.
The nurse had just bandaged my arm, and I was sitting up with my
eyes closed. Mom and Dad were still in the
room,
and I fell
asleep. I awoke to the feeling of someone holding my hand. Adam, I
have been in a relationship for the past few months with a very
special woman who has two small children. Her name is Jennifer
Harrison, and she makes me
happy
. She is ten years younger
than I
am
and is raising
five-year-old
twins,
Olivia,
and Jason. Her husband died in Iraq, and it has been difficult
for her raising their children without a father.”

“She cried for
me,
Adam. She held my hand and wept. I looked down at our joined
hands, and everything changed for me. I raised her hand to my lips
and kissed her. Our eyes met,
and at
that moment, I felt
happy. Feelings and emotions that I had long suppressed are
awakening within me. I felt something that I thought had long died.
I felt the need that a man feels for a woman.”

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