The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (499 page)

genitive, humus. Well, what is the accusative case?

WILLIAM PAGE

Accusativo, hinc.

Accusative, hind.

SIR HUGH EVANS

I pray you, have your remembrance, child,

accusative, hung, hang, hog.

Please make sure you remember correctly, child,

accusative is hung, hang, hog.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

‘Hang–hog’ is Latin for bacon, I'll be bound.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative

case, William?

Stop your gibbering, woman. What is the vocative

case, William?

WILLIAM PAGE

O,--vocativo, O.

Oh, vocative, oh.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Remember, William; focative is caret.

Remember, William; vocative is  caret.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

And that's a good root.

And that's a good vegetable.

SIR HUGH EVANS

'Oman, forbear.

Give over, woman.

MISTRESS PAGE

Peace!

Quiet!

SIR HUGH EVANS

What is your genitive case plural, William?

What is the genitive case plural, William?

WILLIAM PAGE

Genitive case!

Genitive case!

SIR HUGH EVANS

Ay.

Yes.

WILLIAM PAGE

Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.

Genitive: horum, harum, horum.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name

her, child, if she be a whore.

The vengeance of Jenny's case! Down with her! Don't name

her, child, if she is a whore.

SIR HUGH EVANS

For shame, 'oman.

For heaven's sake, woman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

You do ill to teach the child such words: he

teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do

fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!

You shouldn't be teaching the child such words: he

teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll learn

quickly enough for themselves, and to call for ‘horum’, shame on you!

SIR HUGH EVANS

'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no

understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the

genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as

I would desires.

Woman, are you a lunatic? Don't you understand

cases, and the numbers of the genders? You are

as foolish a Christian as one could wish for.

MISTRESS PAGE

Prithee, hold thy peace.

Please, be quiet.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Now William, decline some pronouns for me.

WILLIAM PAGE

Forsooth, I have forgot.

I'm afraid I've forgotten.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'

your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be

preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.

It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your ‘quies,’

your ‘quaes,’ and your ‘quods,’ you must be

whipped. Off you go and play; go.

MISTRESS PAGE

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

He's a better student than I thought he was.

SIR HUGH EVANS

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

He has a good lively memory. Goodbye, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE

Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

Exit SIR HUGH EVANS

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

Exeunt

Goodbye, good Sir Hugh.

Get back home, boy. Come on, we've been away too long.

Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD

FALSTAFF

Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my

sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love,

and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not

only, Mistress Ford, in the simple

office of love, but in all the accoutrement,

complement and ceremony of it. But are you

sure of your husband now?

Mistress Ford, your regrets have softened my suffering.

I see that your love is anxious to please,

and I offer back just the same; not

only, Mistress Ford, in the basic form

of love, but in all its trappings. But are you

sure we're safe from your husband?

MISTRESS FORD

He's a-birding, sweet Sir John.

He's bird hunting, sweet Sir John.

MISTRESS PAGE

[Within] What, ho, gossip Ford! what, ho!

Hello there, my old friend Ford! Hello there!

MISTRESS FORD

Step into the chamber, Sir John.

Exit FALSTAFF

Enter MISTRESS PAGE

Step into the bedroom, Sir John.

MISTRESS PAGE

How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself?

How's it going, sweetheart! Who's home apart from you?

MISTRESS FORD

Why, none but mine own people.

Why, nobody but the servants.

MISTRESS PAGE

Indeed!

Really!

MISTRESS FORD

No, certainly.

Aside to her

Speak louder.

Yes, really.

Speak louder.

MISTRESS PAGE

Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

I must say, I am so glad you are alone.

MISTRESS FORD

Why?

Why?

MISTRESS PAGE

Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again:

he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails

against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's

daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets

himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer

out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but

tameness, civility and patience, to this his

distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Why, woman, your husband has his old madness back:

he is so angry with my husband over there; he rants

against all marriage; he curses all women

of all types; and he bashes himself

on the forehead, shouting, ‘show yourself, show

yourself!’ in such a way that any other madness I've seen

seemed just tame calm manners, compared to this

madness he has now: I'm glad the fat knight is not here.

MISTRESS FORD

Why, does he talk of him?

Why, is he talking about him?

MISTRESS PAGE

Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the

last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests

to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and

the rest of their company from their sport, to make

another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad

the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Him and no other; he swears that he was carried out, the

last time he searched for him, in a basket; he insists

to my husband that he is here now, and has taken him and

the rest of their group away from their hunting, to put

his suspicions to the test again: but I'm glad

the knight is not here; now he'll see how stupid he is.

MISTRESS FORD

How near is he, Mistress Page?

How close is he, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE

Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Very near; at the end of the street; he'll be here in a moment.

MISTRESS FORD

I am undone! The knight is here.

I am lost! The knight is here.

MISTRESS PAGE

Why then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead

man. What a woman are you!--Away with him, away

with him! better shame than murder.

Well then you are completely shamed, and he's as good as

dead. What a woman you are! Get him out, get

him out! Better that there should be shame rather than murder.

FORD

Which way should he go? how should I bestow him?

Shall I put him into the basket again?

Re-enter FALSTAFF

Which way should he go? What shall I do with him?

Shall I put him into the basket again?

FALSTAFF

No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go

out ere he come?

No, I won't go in the basket again. Can't I go

before he gets here?

MISTRESS PAGE

Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door

with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise

you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers are watching the door

with pistols, so nobody can get out; otherwise

you could have slipped away before he came. But what are you doing here?

FALSTAFF

What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.

What shall I do? I'll hide up the chimney.

MISTRESS FORD

There they always use to discharge their

birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.

They always fire their bird guns

up there. Creep into the oven.

FALSTAFF

Where is it?

Where is it?