The Color Of Grace (26 page)

“Do you know where Mindy lives?” I finally had the presence
of mind to ask.

He nodded. “It’s not too far.”

I guess Todd’s house sat on the way to Mindy’s because a few
minutes later, Ryder pointed it out. “There’s Stangman’s place…and it looks
like he’s home.”

I stared at Todd’s Jeep sitting in the driveway to his
house, German in style with cream-colored siding and brown beams slanting
diagonally above the garage to the roof.

Ryder slowed his truck. “Would you rather see him…or Mindy?”

There was no censure in his voice, no how-could-you-kiss-my-best-friend
anger. He truly wanted to help me in any way he could.

I thought about the answer I needed to give. To be honest, I
didn’t want to go to either place. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to curl
into a ball, hide in my bed—the bed at
my
 
house, the house I’d left behind in
Hillsburg—and just sob the rest of my life away.

But that wasn’t an option.

“I don’t…” I really didn’t want Ryder to know I didn’t care
to go to either place; he’d probably try to drive me back to Barry’s. So I
cleared my throat and said, “Todd’s, I guess.” I figured he wouldn’t be as
interested in hearing about my devastating night as Mindy would be. He’d ask
less questions.

Ryder didn’t argue or send me a dirty look for my decision.
He just nodded and pulled in behind Todd’s Jeep, killing the engine. Both he
and I sat there without moving. For a moment, I wondered if we were both
thinking the same thing.

Which girl was inside with him?

A light glowed from one of the windows near the back of the
house. “That’s his room,” I said, stupidly stating the obvious as I remembered
how Todd had desperately tried to shoo his sister out of that very room so he
could lock me alone inside it with him. In case he didn’t have a girl with him,
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be alone with him right now. I sank deeper into my
seat.

Ryder sighed and turned to me, looking suddenly hesitant.
“You know, there’s no need for you to get back out in the cold again. Why don’t
I just go get him?”

I didn’t want to see who Todd was keeping company, so I
nodded.

Ryder’s shoulders eased. “Be right back.” He slipped out of
the truck to hurry to Todd’s window. I rolled my eyes, wondering why no one
used a door anymore. But I’m glad he went to the window because I really didn’t
want him to wake Todd’s parents and involve adults in this mess.

Lifting his hand to knock on the pane glass, Ryder paused.
For a moment, he stood frozen, staring through the window, then he leaned
closer as if he wanted to make sure he was seeing what he was seeing.

I watched him, holding my breath. Suddenly, he jerked
backward as if he thought he’d been spotted. But he didn’t hover in the
shadows, hiding. He whirled my way, his bearing stiff and angry as he stalked
back toward his truck.

Inside the cab, I muttered to myself, “Grace, you idiot.”
There was no reason for me to sit there, wondering what Ryder had seen when I
could just go see it myself. If Todd really was with another girl, I had a
right to see who it was.

I pushed open the door and scrambled out. After hurrying to
Ryder, I was beginning to ask what was going on when I caught sight of the
lethal expression on his face.

“Come on,” he said. His voice was steely, surprising me. He
grabbed my arm in a hard, commanding grip and steered me back around toward his
truck. It more than startled me; it downright frightened me, not of him but of
what he’d seen.

I pulled free. He jerked to a stop to glare at me and once
again grappled for my arm, which I kept out of his reach.

“What’s going on?”

“We’re leaving.”

I turned to look at Todd’s house. “Who’s with him?”

Shaking his head, Ryder reached out one more time, saying,
“Let’s go.”

I was so busy staring at the soft glow coming from Todd’s
window, I let Ryder drag me a few steps away before I dug my feet in. “I know
he’s got another girl in there. Who is it?”

Ryder’s jaw clamped tight as he refused to answer me.

“Dang it, Ryder!” I growled and pulled out of his grip. “Let
go of me.”

He finally snarled, “It’s Kiera, okay.”

Oh.

My mouth fell open. I stared at Ryder and saw all the rage,
pain and shock boiling in his gaze.

He’d had no idea.

I should’ve been upset, hurt, furious. But I was mostly just
shocked, not that Todd had cheated, but that he’d just backstabbed his best
friend in the back. I felt so bad for Ryder. He had been completely blindsided.
Besides, technically Todd and I weren’t a couple. Ryder and Kiera most
definitely were…at least they had been.

What a mess.

“Oh, my God,” I whispered.

“If you want to stay here, fine, but I’m leaving.” Ryder
spun away and marched off.

Gulping hard, I stumbled after him.

Chapter 20

Ryder is orange. Crisp autumn, ripe
citrus, red calmed down but not as bright as yellow. Energy, and warmth, the
sun I needed to badly to shine, a soothing balm to ease my troubled life. So,
what color am I? I still don’t know. I’m too tired, too cold to be colorful.

* * * *

I climbed into the passenger seat of Ryder’s truck as he
slid behind the wheel. After starting the engine, he got us out of there. He
didn’t take me to Mindy’s house, and I didn’t remind him that was supposed to
be our next destination choice. I feared he’d chauffeur me home, but when he
pulled into his own driveway and cut the engine, I let out a silent breath of relief.

Afraid to talk because he looked so mad, I sat silently,
waiting. When he turned to me, I jolted.

Hey, I couldn’t help it. The boy looked capable of murder.

But he didn’t sound like a cold-blooded killer when he said,
“You can stay here as long as you need. I’ll sleep on the couch.” Then,
dismissing me, he pushed open his door, slammed it, and marched off.

I couldn’t believe it. He was still going to help me, even
after he’d seen his girlfriend with his best friend. Hurrying after him, I
caught up to him at his window just as he yanked it open. Stepping aside, he
motioned me to go first.

Clearing my throat, I said a quiet yet heartfelt, “Thank
you.”

Once we were warmly tucked inside, I sat cautiously on the
edge of his bed and watched him pace laps around his room as he repeatedly ran
his hands through his hair.

“What are you going to do?” I finally asked.

He stopped in his tracks and glanced at me. “I don’t know.”
Whirling away again, he pressed the palm of his hand to his head.

I huddled there uneasily and watched his misery.

He’d been a wonderful boyfriend to Kiera. I’d seen him carry
her books to class, and he never complained when she hung all over him, which
she did nonstop when they were together. Now that I think of it, she’d been the
one to instigate all their kisses and touching, and he simply allowed it. He let
her do whatever she wanted. And the wicked witch had cheated on him for it.

Growing steamed on his behalf, I muttered, “You know, this
is why teens should avoid sex. It leads to nothing but trouble.”

Ryder paused to send me a glare. “I hate to break it to you,
Grace, but I
did
avoid sex.”

I frowned. “What? But—”

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t believe all the gossip you hear
because I never had sex with Kiera. I turned her down, but obviously that
wasn’t acceptable because she went to my best friend for it.”

When my mouth fell open, he frowned and put his back to me,
his hands fisting at his sides before his rigid shoulders wilted. Sagging his
head, he moved toward his couch and plopped onto a cushion to cradle his face
in his hands.

“
You
turned
her
down? But why?”

“I don’t know.” He ripped his hands through his hair yet
again. Moments later, he calmed enough to add, “Because I didn’t want her to be
my first, I guess.”

“Oh.” My small voice lacked the true feelings swirling
around inside me in so many ways, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Feeling lame, I sat on his bed, my hands folded in my lap and my hair slipping
over my shoulders as I concentrated on his brown and blue-speckled carpet.

Breathing in and then exhaling loudly, Ryder patted his hair
back down over his head, probably trying to restore some of the disorder
brewing inside him. Once he was calmer, he lifted his face to pin me with an
intense look. “Where’s your necklace?” he demanded so unexpectedly I pulled
back and blinked.

“My…my what?” I pressed my hand against
my chest where a gold chain usually hung around my throat. When I realized I
was still wearing Ryder’s coat, I hurried to shrug it off.

Ryder frowned. “Your necklace,” he repeated. “The one your
stepdad gave to you for no reason at all. You haven’t worn it since after the
night at the bowling alley.”

“I…” I shook my head. How did he know that? How did he know
to ask about
that
, of all things? “I
have no idea where it is,” I lied. “It’s not like I wear it all the time.”

Ryder’s face turned dark with anger. “Yes, you do,” he
snapped, surging to his feet. “You wore that thing every freaking day until
that night. I want to know what’s going on. You show up at my house, freezing
to death and crying, looking for Todd. It doesn’t take a genius to see
something horrible just happened. So what did he do to you?”

I just stared up at him, stunned. “I…” Shaking my head
frantically, I fumbled. “Todd didn’t do anything.”

Ryder stormed over to stand above me, looming close enough I
had to look up to see his narrowed eyes. “Not Todd. Your stepfather.”

My mouth fell open.

“What…did…he…do…to you?”

“How did you…” I shook my head for probably, like, the tenth
time in the past thirty seconds. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ryder sighed and spun away to hiss a curse under his breath.

When he calmed himself again, he came back around to eye me
warily. “Look. I know something happened, and it has to do with Dr. Struder.”

I just stared at him, the muscles in my face growing tighter
and tighter. “You’re wrong,” I whispered just as a quivering tear seeped out of
the corner of my eye.

Ryder fisted his hand and brought it to his mouth as he returned
the stare. “No, I’m not,” he whispered back.

“Everything’s fine.” I tried one, last feeble attempt to convince
him.

He snorted. “You wouldn’t have left your house without a
coat if everything was fine. You wouldn’t be here right now if everything was
fine. You wouldn’t have accepted my invitation to stay if everything was fine.”
With each sentence, his volume inched higher and higher until he was nearly
yelling.

I glanced worriedly toward the closed bedroom door, hoping
he hadn’t just woken his parents.

With a disgusted sigh, he gave up on me and moved to his
dresser. He yanked the second drawer open and barked, “Okay, Fine. Don’t tell
me. I have enough problems of my own right now. I don’t want to deal with your
messed up life too.”

He grabbed a hold of a shirt and spun around, holding it out
to me. I winced, but Ryder just kept holding it, sending me a stony glare. When
I realized he had no intention of smacking me with the shirt, I straightened
and looked up at him with a questioning squint.

“You want something to sleep in?” he asked. “Or do you want
to sleep in that?”

His gaze roved over my body, taking in my soaked wet blouse
and ripped-in-the-knees jeans. It definitely wasn’t an outfit I’d ever slept in
before. When I didn’t immediately take the wad of clothing from him, he tossed
it onto the bed beside me with a grumble under his breath.

“You want me to take you somewhere, I’ll take you somewhere.
If you want to leave, you can do that. I don’t care. Just make up your mind.”

He spun away as if he were finished with me. My mouth
trembled as he muttered, “If you want to go back home to stepdaddy, then that’s
just dandy with me too.”

Panic beat in a fluttery pulse through my neck. “You said I
could stay.”

“Then stay,” Ryder hissed. He flopped onto the couch and
ripped off his shoes and socks. After he finished savagely removing his
footwear, the rage in him seemed to droop. He lowered his head and hugged his
ribs as if it were everything he could do to keep his heart and soul from spilling
out of his body. Then he ran a hand over his dry face and lifted his eyes to
look across the room at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a defeated voice. “I shouldn’t be
nasty to you just because I’m in a nasty mood. There’s a bathroom right there
if you need it.” He pointed to an open doorway. “There’s a cup on the counter I
use when I brush my teeth if you need a drink. And here’s my phone if you want
to call anyone.” He set it carefully on the table by his couch, letting me take
note where he set it.