The Color Of Grace (17 page)

“I cannot believe you just let him talk you into that.”

I lifted my face to find a scowling Ryder barreling around
the corner to glare at me. He jarred to a halt and set his hands on his hips,
looking like some disappointed father who’d found out his child had broken
curfew.

I frowned right back. “Were you eavesdropping?”

He snorted. “Well, yeah. It was a little hard not to while
you were
yelling
.”

Straightening my back into a stiff, self-righteous gesture,
I ground my teeth, just begging for braces. If Ryder wanted to fight, fine, I
was in the mood to fight.

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you like me to yell at you too? Great.
Mind your own business, nosey
.”
Storming into action, I barreled past him and marched off.

Back in senior hall, I veered left and down toward the back
corridor that had been fairly traffic-free yesterday between classes. Besides,
I could drop by art class and ask Miss Abernathy a question about an idea I had
for my big art project.

But I heard the distinct sound of footsteps following me.
Ryder’s gaze bore into the back of my neck, causing it to sizzle with
awareness. As I turned the corner, he kept steady pace on my heels.

“Grace,” he said.

Tired of having him for a shadow or maybe tired of being so
aware of him back there, I stopped and spun around. “What?”

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Then his
shoulders slumped as he exhaled. He looked tired and worn as he met my gaze.
“If you’re seriously going to date Stangman, I think you need a little
warning.”

I lifted an eyebrow and folded my arms over my chest. “Oh,
really? Please do enlighten me. I’d just love to hear what kind of warning you
have for me about your
best friend
.”

He let another draining breath out of his lungs. “Look, I
don’t want to offend you or anything.”

My back stiffened, and I tensed, bracing for the offending
to start.

“But Todd is…” When his voice trailed off, he shifted uncomfortably
and looked away.

I lifted my eyebrows. “Todd is…what?”

“He’s…he’s very competitive, okay,” Ryder said, eyeing me
intently. “With me especially.”

I shook my head, totally lost. “I’m not following you.”

He growled quietly as if he was irritated he had to explain.
“He just loves the fact that you—the only girl to ever totally blow me off—
didn’t
blow him off. He’s going to keep
hanging around you for as long as he thinks it’ll bother me. I’m sorry I put
you in this position, but you certainly don’t have to lie down and let him use
you, you know.”

My mouth dropped open. Offended? He thought I’d be offended?
Well, I wasn’t. I was downright humiliated, because a small part of me actually
believed his answer really was the only reason a boy would act interested in me.

“So, you’re saying he doesn’t like me at all and is only
giving me attention to get your goat?” I cracked out a dry, sarcastic laugh.
“Gee, thanks a lot. That makes me feel so much better. Why, I’m not offended at
all.”

“Grace, I’m not trying to insult you.”

“Well, oops. You failed.”

“I’m serious here. He’s not some nice, shy geek boy you’re
used to at Hillsburg. He expects you to…” Lifting both hands as if
surrendering, he muttered, “Look, just be careful, all right. Don’t let him
pressure you where you don’t want to be pressured.”

I had no intention of letting anyone pressure me. Ever.
Except, oh, boy, I had just let Todd totally talk me into giving him a chance;
I had even agreed to see him again on Friday.

Ugh.

Ryder sent me a knowing look, as if he could read every
thought in my head. “He’s a player.” His quiet voice echoed through my head.
“He knows how to talk his way into making people do what they normally would
never do. He knows how to find weaknesses, especially in kind-hearted people,
and use their own compassion against them.”

Feeling doomed, like I’d fallen into a hole I couldn’t climb
out of, I had a bad sense Ryder was right. I could see Todd being a sneaky,
conniving worker exactly as he described.

But just as soon as the dread filled me, so did the anger.

“You know what I think?” I growled. “I think you’re the
competitive one. I think you’re going behind his back and planting seeds of
doubts in my head, so I’ll believe he doesn’t really like me. You already told
me you hate the idea of me kissing your best friend. You probably think if you
can’t have me, then neither should he. Well, you know what? I think you’re a total
jerk, playing
him
like this.”

Determined to flounce off and end the conversation for good,
I turned away.

But the louse called after me, “You’re not the kind of girl
he usually dates.”

Unable to let that go, I spun back. “So, what kind of girl
am I? The kind
you
 
usually date?”

Where this boldness came from, I’m not sure. I’ve been known
to have occasional spurts of bravery, but this plucky gust was lasting
especially long for me. Maybe that was because I felt like I could totally be
myself around Ryder, even though he turned all my sensory glands to
hypersensitive whenever he was near.

Who knows, really? I simply went with it and stepped closer,
my eyes daring him to contradict me.

He didn’t respond except to give me a look that had my heart
doing somersaults. I wanted to escape. But dear Lord, was Ryder Yates trying to
tell me I really was the type of girl he liked?

No way.

Up to that point, all his attention toward me had felt like
one big spoof. Someone had to be playing a joke. No way deep inside me did I
honestly believe he was truly that interested. But from the way he looked into
my eyes at that very moment, I began to wonder—really wonder. Was I wrong?

Every follicle of hair on my head stood at attention, excited
about the very prospect. Crazy. This was absolutely insane.

I’d left Hillsburg to move to the Twilight Zone. I mean,
honestly. Two boys—two very popular, well-dressed, nice-looking,
easy-to-talk-to boys—were expressing interest in me in the space of one day.

Unreal.

Something fishy had to be going on. A girl didn’t live
through sixteen years of life without any boy ever asking her out to suddenly
having two best friends fighting over her. Okay, fine, Todd and Ryder weren’t
fighting. But there was definite tension oozing off Ryder in waves.

Though inside I was flipping out with excitement, outwardly
I stepped back and snorted, glancing away. “So, what? That puts me in the same
category as
Kiera
. I’ll pass.”

“Hey,” he muttered, clearly insulted even though he shoved
his hands into his pockets and looked away with a guilty frown. Then he
admitted, “Kiera’s not
my
usual
type.”

Well, at least that was something. Kiera was selfish, vindictive,
and two-faced; I was relieved he didn’t classify me in the same category.

So why was he with her?

As if he’d read my mind—or maybe I’d
asked aloud—he glanced down at the toe of his shoe and muttered, “I was feeling
insecure about some photographer from Hillsburg blowing me off. When she…when
Kiera flirted with me after that game, telling me what I good job I’d done, I
really needed a good dose of confidence, so…” He shrugged, letting me know the
rest was history.

I’d rebuffed him and he’d turned to Evil Cheerleader Barbie
for an ego boost. I felt sick about being partly responsible for fixing them
up.

He lifted his face and sent me a half smile. “But you know
what? I’m glad I’m with her. She is fun and peppy and makes me happy. And
she’s
interested.” He gave a nonchalant
shrug that didn’t look so nonchalant. “It’s not like you’d actually go out with
me if I dumped her and tried with you again anyway.”

“No,” I agreed quietly, because, well, wow. I had no idea
what to say. His words totally blew me away. “I wouldn’t.”

Was he asking me out? Was Ryder Yates offering to dump his
fun, perky, she-makes-me-happy cheerleader? For me?

“Of course not,” he agreed, nodding. He turned and started
off, only to stop a few steps later. Slowly, he turned back, looking pained as
he winced. “For the sake of curiosity, though, why?”

“Why?” I repeated in a small voice.

He nodded, his eyes intent. “Why would you reject me? Why
did
 
you? What did I do that turned you off so
much?”

Oh, boy. How was I supposed to answer that question? I had
no idea what the answer was. Actually, I knew I’d be thrilled to boot Kiera out
the way and take her place. Something inside me knew him, knew he was
everything I would ever want in a boyfriend. But the things I’d learned about
him in the past twenty-four hours kept me hesitant.

Wanting to avoid the true issue, I scowled and set my hands
on my hips. “You know, technically, you never asked me out, so actually, I
never turned you down.”

He laughed. “Oh, come on. We all know I was working my way
into asking you out.”

Inwardly, I groaned. He just had to go and shoot down my
crafty attempt at avoidance.

“I didn’t know you,” I grumbled, hoping I could use the same
line on him that I’d used on Todd. “You were from the opposing team?”

Hadn’t worked on Todd; I should’ve known it wouldn’t work on
Ryder either.

He arched a brow. “You didn’t know you’d be moving to
Southeast at that point?”

My face heated with color.

His features fell with disappointment. “Oh. I see.”

“I didn’t know you,” I repeated a little more desperately
this time.

“Okay, then. You said no because you didn’t know me at the
time. But you’ve been to my house, played on my Wii, talked to me on Facebook.
Geez, we even took a picture of a glove together. And you’d still say no?
What’s so wrong with me?”

His green eyes filled with such vulnerability, I choked. I’d
hurt his feelings. It made me want to hug him and tell him I still thought he
was the most beautiful boy I’d ever met.

“N—Nothing’s wrong with you. I…I don’t know what you’re
trying to say.”

“Oh, my God, Grace,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. “How
pathetic do I have to get? I’m asking why you don’t like me.”

“I never said I didn’t like you.”

“But you certainly don’t like me enough to ever go out with
me.”

“I-I…you’re with Kiera,” I sputtered. “And what about Todd?”

He gave an impatient sigh. “I’m not actually asking you out.
This is a hypothetical question. If there were no Todd and no Kiera, why would
you turn me down?”

I took a step backward. “I don’t want to play what-if anymore.”

Countering me with a step forward, he growled, “Just answer
the question. What about my personality offends you so much?”

“I can’t answer that question. Your personality is fine. I’d
just…I think the only reason I’d turn you down now is because you’ve been with
Kiera.”

Caught off guard, he pulled back and blinked. “Wow. I knew
you two didn’t exactly get along, but I didn’t realize you hated her that
much.”

I colored. “I don’t hate her. And it’s not her specifically.
And it’s not that you just
went out
with
her.”

His brows crinkled and I watched him think hard, looking
confounded. When the light clicked on, he sucked in a breath, his gaze flashing
to me. “Sex,” he said. “This is about sex. You wouldn’t go out with me because
you think I’ve...”

I looked away, blushing furiously.

“Grace,” he said softly. “I…” He ran both hands through his
hair, then let out a laugh, or maybe it was a snort. Either way, the sound was
full of bitter amusement.

“What?” I couldn’t help but ask, even though I knew I shouldn’t.
This conversation had already gone way beyond the limits of propriety.

He shook his head. “It’s just ironic. You say you’d never
date me now because you’d have a problem assuming I’ve been sexually active
with someone else and worrying I wouldn’t be able to stop being that way for
you. But the thing is—” He broke off suddenly and shook his head as if he
wasn’t going to continue.

“What?” I demanded again; I had to know what he was going to
say.

“If you think I’m so sexually active, why don’t you ask
your boyfriend
how many girls he’s been
with.”

I gawked after him as he turned his back to me and stormed
down the hall. The tense set of his shoulders showed his agitation. Agitation
I’d given him.

Unease boiled inside me because I had a bad feeling the answer
to his question was a lot, and an even worse feeling that Todd Stangman wanted
to add me to the notch on his bedpost. Like a rabbit realizing it’d been caught
in the sights of a mighty lion, I felt panicked and trapped.