The Color Of Grace (15 page)

“
Hi
.”

I froze, totally petrified. Ryder Yates wanted to chat with
me on Facebook. At midnight. Not that the time mattered, but still. I briefly
wondered if I should quickly go ahead and logoff, but I’d already stalled too
long not to be able to see his comment without being able to say, “
Oh, I must’ve missed it before I logged out.
Sorry,
” tomorrow in school if he asked why I’d ignored him.

So I typed in a quick “
Hi,
”
hoping he was one of those people who just liked to acknowledge everyone he saw
online, and that would be that.

He wasn’t one of those people.

“
What’re you doing up
?”

Grinding my teeth, I kept my answer simple. “
Unpacking
.” Probably what I should be
doing, anyway, instead of chatting with him on Facebook.

“
Really
?” he wrote
back. “
I would’ve taken you for the tidy
type to have all your things in order by now
.”

Was he making fun of me? There was no way I could keep a
simple response after that comment. “
I AM
the tidy type. That’s why it’s taking me so long. I have no idea where to put
everything
.”

My room hadn’t been nearly this mammoth in Hillsburg; it
still felt weird sleeping on a king-sized bed. I was used to the single I’d had
at home. There was almost too much storage with all the closet space and bureau
drawers I had now. I felt like a little beggar girl who’d broken into a
five-star hotel for the night. The place definitely did not feel like
my
 
room.

“
I couldn’t sleep,
”
Ryder typed.

His admission sent warmth around my belly. Something about
guys showing their soft side always made me feel all sigh-worthy. But I didn’t
want to get mushy toward Ryder Yates any more than I already was. Not wanting
to disconnect because, well, I felt all warm and mushy toward him, but not
wanting to actually show those feelings, I decided to keep things light.

“
Mourning your bowling
defeat
?” I asked.

I could almost see him grin as he read my response.
Something inside me glowed with delight.

“
Trying to figure out
how you cheated
,” he quipped back.

“
I don’t cheat
!”
Hopefully, he caught on that my tone was playful indignation, so I added a
smiley face before returning, “
How could
I when I’ve never even played before
?”

“
So you SAY you’d
never played before
.”

“
I haven’t
.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. I deflated, thinking our
conversation was over. I even X’ed out of the chat box and began to log off
when suddenly the box popped back up.

“
Todd just called me.
To gloat
.”

I frowned, no idea what he was talking about. I should’ve
let it be. But curiosity and a really bad feeling had me asking, “
Gloat about what
?”

“
Come on, Grace. He’s
my best friend. Did you honestly think he wouldn’t kiss and tell? Especially
about this
?”

My face heated.

Oh. My. God.

Ryder Yates knew Todd had kissed me?

Why would Todd tell him that?

The sudden sick swirling in the pit of my stomach rose up my
throat, making me wish yet again I could start the entire day over and tell
Todd I wasn’t interested the first moment he asked me to meet him after the
game.

My jaw hardened as I wrote, “
Well. I’m SO freaking happy I could give your best friend a reason to
gloat in your face. Honestly. What girl doesn’t love being the object of a
gloat
?” The frowny face I added didn’t seem necessary, but I wanted to get
my mood across.

Gloating indeed.

Humph.

A minute later, Ryder typed, “
Maybe I shouldn’t have told you I knew
.”

I snorted aloud. “
Gee,
you think
?”

“
Sorry. It didn’t
occur to me how this would make you feel. I was too worried about how
…”

“
You were too worried
about what
?” I asked when his note cut off in the middle of the sentence.

“
Ignore that last part
,”
he answered. “
I didn’t mean to type it.
Accidentally hit enter instead of backspace
.”

“
Too late. You sent
it; now you have to explain
.”

“
Really? I have to
explain? Think about it from my point of view. The girl I was interested in
totally turns me down only to show up in my school and kiss my BEST FRIEND.
What do you think I’m going through here
?”

I’d never read a note before and actually seen the author
yelling in my head, like I could envision Ryder scowling at me as he pounded out
his words, torturing his poor keyboard with his angry thoughts.

For the space of two seconds, I wallowed in guilt. It had
never been my intent to play two friends against each other. An awful,
creeping, sick acid swirled through my gut, making me feel dirty and wish for
the million and second time that I could start over fresh.

But the moment passed as I waded through the guilt and
realized I hadn’t invited Todd to kiss me; I hadn’t even wanted him to. And
besides, even if I had, that really didn’t give Ryder the right to yell at me.
Just because a boy talked to a girl one time at a basketball game weeks ago by
no means meant she was forever after forbidden to kiss his friends. Geesh. The
nerve.

Stiffening my back, I began to persecute my own keyboard with
righteous indignation. “
You shouldn’t be
going through anything. YOU have a girlfriend
.”

Within moments, he shot back, “
What does she have to do with it
?”

With a roll of my eyes, I answered. “
If you flirt with one girl while you’re dating another, you forfeit all
rights to feel jealous when the first girl moves on
.”

“
Okay, stop right
there. What makes you think I was dating Kiera the night of that game
?”

“
Oh, come on. You
seriously want me to believe you became known as the most sexually active
couple in school in THREE WEEKS
?”

I couldn’t believe I actually wrote that.
And
 
pushed send. But typing something felt so much
braver than saying it aloud, which I probably never would’ve done.

“
WHAT
?” he
exploded almost immediately. “
Who told
you that? Todd
?”

I sniffed. “
No, he did
not. It doesn’t matter who told me. Everyone says it, that’s the point
.”

“
And you actually
believe it
?”

I bit my lip. I wished I could hear the inflection in his
words instead of just reading them on the screen. He seemed hurt by Laina’s
gossip. But I couldn’t tell for sure. Not unless I actually saw his face and
heard his voice. Still, it made me wonder. Could the gossip be just that?
Gossip.

“
You’re unbelievable
,”
he wrote on. “
You brushed me off in the
first place, so technically, you should forfeit all your rights to feel upset
if I now have a girlfriend, which I DID NOT have when I first met you. But it
doesn’t work that way, does it? You can’t help what you feel, whether you
should feel it or not. And I can’t help being upset that YOU spent the night
sucking face with MY BEST FRIEND
.”

I sighed. Geesh, he had a point. If I forced myself to see
things from his perspective, then okay, it’d sting to be shot down by a girl
only for her to turn around and kiss his friend. But honestly, he didn’t have
all the facts.

“
If it makes you feel
better, he’s the one who kissed me
.” There. Hopefully that mollified him.

It didn’t.

“
Did you stop him
?”
he persisted.

I didn’t answer. Couldn’t. It didn’t seem fair to Todd to
reveal that I had indeed pulled away from him...after five seconds of not
pulling away.

“
Did you like it
?”
Ryder prodded when I didn’t answer the last question.

Gritting my teeth, I wrote, “
I’m leaving now
,” and quickly, I logged off.

I blew out a breath, staring at the login screen that had
popped up, beckoning me to re-enter my password. Unable to stop myself, I
logged back in to see if he was gone.

“
I knew you’d come
back
.”

Dang it. Now he knew I was interested. I needed to set this
guy straight. Clearing my throat, I settled my fingers on the keyboard and
commenced to putting him in his place—or what I fully believed would put him in
his place. “
I don’t think your girlfriend
would like knowing you’re talking to me right now
.”

Alas, I fear he wasn’t intimidated in the least because he shot
back, “
You remind me I have a girlfriend
a lot
.”

I groaned and returned, “
You
seem to forget a lot
.”

“
Trust me, Kiera
doesn’t let me forget
.”

Interesting. “
Do I
detect bitterness
?” I had to ask.

When he didn’t immediately respond, my fingers flew again,
typing with a fury. “
If you don’t like
her, then why are you with her
?”

But just as I hit send, another message popped up. “
I have your glove
.”

I frowned. “
What glove
?”

Again, he responded with “
Kiera’s not so bad
,” about as soon as I pressed enter.

Ack, now we had two conversations going on with each other.
Confusion much.

With a snort, I snidely typed, “
Not so bad. Now THAT sounds like true love
.”

It took him a while to respond with, “
The red and black striped glove from the snow. I found it on the floor
in my room where all the coats had been piled.
”

About the same time I said, “
It must’ve fallen out of my coat pocket
,” he retorted, “
I’m in high school. Who meets their one true
love in high school
?”

I gasped, royally offended. “
My mom and dad were high school sweethearts
.”

“
So is that why she
just got remarried to the dentist, because she and your dad are ONE TRUE LOVES
?”

Gritting my teeth, I pounced. “
She got remarried because my dad’s been DEAD for thirteen years
.”
Tactless moron.

About twenty seconds later, he respectfully wrote, “
Sorry
.”

If that humble little word hadn’t looked so apologetic, I
probably would’ve been able to stay ticked at him. But my shoulders slumped as
I said, “
It’s okay. I don’t remember him.
I was only three
.”

“
How did it happen
?”

The fact that he asked made my chest ache. “
Car accident. He was driving home from work.
Someone ran a red light. Side swiped him.
”

“
Must be strange,
suddenly having a new dad again
.”

I shrugged. Yeah, but, “
Barry’s
fine. He mostly lets my mom deal with me. And when he does step in, he sides
with me. So I can’t complain
.”

“
Bet your mom doesn’t
like that though
.”

I couldn’t believe he’d nailed the problem I was having with
my mother so accurately on the head. It bothered me. No one was supposed to
know more about me than I did.

“
Go ahead and throw
the glove away
,” I typed, not wanting to discuss my mom just then.

“
Why’d you keep it in
the first place? What good is a matchless glove
?”

I scowled, wanting to defend my homeless glove. But
honestly, I didn’t know the answer to his question, so I said, “
I don’t know
.”

“
If you think you’re
like that glove, all alone in a foreign place with no one to turn to, you’re
wrong. People are looking out for you
.”

I frowned. What was he trying to say?
Was
he
looking out for me? It made no
sense. Why would he bother? He was still mad at me for kissing Todd. Besides,
we didn’t even know each other.

But then he added, “
I saw your profile page. Lots of Hillsburg
people asked how your first day went. You’re not alone, Grace
.”

I wanted to cry. How could he know so much? How could he
know what was bothering me the most? And how could he know how to say exactly
the right thing to make me feel better?

“
I should probably go
.”
This conversation was getting too dangerous. We’d already strayed into
forbidden topics long ago, but this seemed to move deeper than just talking.

He wasn’t finished, however. He just had to go and ask, “
Did you like the kiss or not
?”

I knew I should’ve logged out right then, except I felt I
owed him some kind of answer. “
I don’t
know
.” Okay, so it was a lame answer, but it was all I had.