The Click Trilogy (46 page)

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 10:32 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

You are too sweet…and funny.  I thought you would be more interested in question #1.  But you already know what I’m going to say.  Let’s say it aloud together at the count of three.  One.  Two.  Three.  BOOB JOB!  HA!  Was I right?  Do you know me well?

I know.  I know.  That’s one – or should I say two – of your favorite things about me.  But honestly, I would love to go for a jog without risking the chance my knockers could knock myself or an innocent bystander unconscious.

Okay.  Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t love to go for a jog.  I’m seriously averse to exercise.  It would be nice to go into a store and buy a button-up blouse, though.  Anyway, there is seriously nothing I would change about you.  You’re perfect.

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:02 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

PLEASE, and I’m really begging you here, PLEASE, do NOT get a breast reduction.  You too (or should I say you and your two) are perfect just the way you all are.  And seriously, there’s not one thing you would change about me?  Not one?  I know there’s got to be something?

From: Ashley Gordon – December 7, 2012 – 11:15 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 1

YES!  I do know how good I have it.  Despite all of the challenges, I’m absolutely 100% in love with her.   I took your advice and talked with my doctor before she was born.  She, and some lovely pharmaceuticals, really helped.

I’m in a good place now, despite my complaining.  Yes, if I didn’t do it, you
would
think something’s wrong, right?  Anyway, I hope you do know how very much I appreciate you as a friend.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:20 AM

To: Ashley Gordon

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 1

I’m so glad to hear you are in a better place.  She’s amazing and I know you are already – and will continue to be – a great mom.  I will always be here to listen to you complain – as long as it’s not about me needing to change my hair.  ;)

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:22 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Not really.  And isn’t this a better game to play in person.  Things can get taken out of context so much in email.

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:22 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Come on!  Spill!  I know there’s
something
.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:25 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Well, there is one, tiny little thing.  But really, why don’t we wait until I’m back and we can go through all of the questions together.  It will be more fun that way.

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:26 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

So there is something.  Come on.  Tell me.  I won’t be mad.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:26 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Well, you
still
do have a tendency to say “I told you so” often.

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:27 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Oh.  I didn’t realize I
still
came across as a know-it-all.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:28 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Oh, don’t be like that.  You wanted to know and honestly, it’s such a tiny little thing.  Are you feeling totally defeated?

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:31 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Not totally.  But it does sting a little bit.  Just remember, no calling me Lil’ PITA okay?  Maybe you were right.  Maybe email isn’t the best way to talk about this stuff.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:32 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

If it makes you feel any better, “I told you so.”

From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 11:35 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Passing the time

LOL!  Yes, that does.  Okay, Babe.  You go and enjoy your time with Shelley.  I will take my know-it-all personality back to the spreadsheets.  Number crunching, here I come.  I love you.

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 11:36 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Passing the time

Love you, too.

XOXO, Me

From: Renee Greene – December 7, 2012 – 7:12 PM

To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

Subject: Daily Digest – Installment 2

On our way to San Francisco today, we stopped off in Half Moon Bay to visit a pumpkin patch where you can watch gladiators fight in a mini-coliseum made out of hay bales.  It was AWESOME!

We also visited the Museum of Pez Memorabilia.  They had every kind of dispenser imaginable including – hold onto your hat, Ethan – a very rare, handmade Jabba the Hutt.  Much like your beloved Star Wars toys, rare Pez dispensers still in the package are worth a lot of money.

They even had one that goes for more than $5,000.  It’s kind of a Mr. Potato Head-type with movable parts.  And the pièce de résistance
– or should I say pez de résistance – is a more than 7-foot-tall snowman dispenser.

Now we are resting comfortably at our chic hotel readying ourselves for a gluttonous night of sushi and sake.

From: Ashley Gordon – December 7, 2012 – 8:30 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 2

Sushi and sake sounds divine.  Sadly, I’m not there.  More sadly (is that even a word?), I’m breastfeeding.  No raw fish.  No alcohol.  No fun.  Enjoy ladies.

From: PBCupLover– December 7, 2012 – 9:02 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 2

Sounds like an incredible day.  Knowing you’re having fun makes missing you a bit easier. And knowing I’m getting a daily update means you are one day closer to being home.

From: cassidy – December 8, 2012 – 8:02 AM

To: Renee Greene

Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 2

i love sushi. maybe we can go get some when your back. have fun.

From: Renee Greene– December 8, 2012 – 8:02 AM

To: cassidy

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 2

Yes! (with a big exclamation point)

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 9:01 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Probing questions – part deux

And without further ado, here are today’s probing questions. Seriously, though, if you find these annoying or boring, you can tell me.

1. If you could have a year in any place in the world – all expenses paid – where would you go?
   
2. If you could read the private diary of someone you know, who would it be?
   
3. If you had to eliminate one season permanently, which one would it be?
   
4. If you had to eat the same meal for the rest of your life, without any nutritional consequences, what would it be?
   
5. If you could star in a love scene with any living actor, who would it be with?
   

From: Renee Greene – December 8, 2012 – 11:30 AM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Probing questions – part deux

We LOVE getting your daily email suggestions.  Keep ‘em coming.

OMG!  You are going to die laughing when I tell you this.  I asked Shelley if she had to eliminate one season permanently, which one would it be and she said…paprika.  Apparently, she is not a fan of deviled eggs.  Considering she is the devil herself at times, that is quite ironic.  But isn’t that funny.  She said paprika.  Okay, maybe it’s not that funny.  A few days cooped up in a car seeing the weird sites of the western U.S. might be making me a bit punchy.

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 2:03 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Probing questions – part deux

I’m so glad it’s helping pass the time.  And, yes, very funny about the paprika.  Funny that she doesn’t like deviled eggs since she was dressed as one for Halloween this year.

From: Renee Greene – December 8, 2012 – 2:18 PM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Probing questions – part deux

I totally forgot about that.  I will remind her.  She says, “I went as a deviled egg because I was going to come as the devil with the blue dress on, but couldn’t find a blue dress that hugged my curves the right way.”  (Yes, I’m typing this verbatim into my phone while she drives).  She continues, “But, my T&A looked sublime in white leggings and a white tank.”  There you have it.

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 2:25 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Probing questions – part deux

Sorry I brought it up.  Sounds like you girls are having fun.  Continue to enjoy and I’ll talk with you tonight.  Love you, Babe!

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 4:30 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: That’s My Girl!

Just tried your cell, but you didn’t pick up.  Hopefully you two are having a great time.  Just wanted to say, “Wow!” What a great surprise!  Thanks, Babe.  I miss you, too.  It feels a lot longer than two days already.  I will fill the empty void left in our bed with creamy peanut butter and chocolate goodness.  Call me when you get a chance.

From: Renee Greene – December 8, 2012 – 5:32 PM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: That’s My Girl!

Sorry I missed your call.  We are getting spotty cell coverage, but I was able to get your email.  I will call you from the hotel after we get back from dinner.  In the meantime, I’m delighted that you like my little treat.  Just wanted you to know how much I am thinking about you despite being so far away.

Don’t make those chocolate treats
too
cozy in our bed.  I am coming back and I expect you to make some space for me.  ;)

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 5:38 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: That’s My Girl!

Don’t you worry.  By the time you return, those PB Cups will be long gone and I will be needing some exercise to work off those calories.  Can’t wait to talk with you tonight.

From: Renee Greene – December 8, 2012 – 6:32 PM

To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

Subject: Daily Digest – Installment 3

Happiness is…the Charles Schulz Museum and lots of vino.

Had an AMAZING day today in Santa Rosa.  Don’t know if it was the fact we hit three different wineries beforehand, but our visit to the Charles Schulz Museum was AWESOME.  There are all sorts of old comic strips, a re-creation of his office where he drew the funnies and some cool Peanuts-inspired artwork.

They also had a hands-on area where kids and make their own comics.  Shelley drew an eight-panel masterpiece about Pig Pen worthy of Penthouse.

Off to dinner and some more wine.  Cheers!

From: Ashley Gordon – December 8, 2012 – 6:45 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 3

Wine and Peanuts.  Sounds yummy.  Again, two more things I’m being denied right now due to breastfeeding.  Argh!  Continue to enjoy.

From: Renee Greene – December 8, 2012 – 6:49 PM

To: Ashley Gordon

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 3

I get the wine.  But why can’t you have peanuts?

From: PBCupLover – December 8, 2012 – 7:39 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 3

I’ve always loved the Peanuts and thought they were a microcosm of society with all of the archetypes you find today.  You know. Charlie is the everyman, Lucy is the power bitch, Schroeder is the tortured artist, Franklin is the token minority, Linus is co-dependent (always dragging that blankie around), etc.