The Click Trilogy (48 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 9:15 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, cassidy
Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 5
@ Ashley: then a shoe said to the hat, “You go on ahead and I’ll follow on foot.” HA! I love the silliness. And as for the rest of you, well done! I tip my hat to you all.
From: PBCupLover – December 11, 2012 – 9:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Final questions
None of those answers remotely surprised me. In fact, I got all but one right. I figured you would want the ability to fly, due to your irrational fear of planes. Considering you’re flying home tomorrow, I’m confident you are already freaking out. But glad to know I know you well. To set the official record straight, you can’t sing. ;)
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 9:21 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Final questions
Can’t sing, huh? Do you want me to move to Seattle, too?
From: PBCupLover – December 11, 2012 – 9:21 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Final questions
Love ya, Babe!
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 9:22 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Final questions
I know. Call you later. XOXO
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 5:28 PM
To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy
Subject: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
We’ve arrived safely in Seattle and ended the KT3 at Pike Place Market where we saw the mother of all kitsch – the Giant Shoe Museum.
Contrary to my interpretation of “Giant Show Museum,” it’s not a huge collection of shoes. It is a collection of really BIG shoes. Yes, you read correctly. It’s the world’s largest collection of BIG shoes – some of them size 37.
Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “you know what they say about men with big feet,” right? Needless to say, Shelley has been a bundle of giggles and lewd comments since our arrival.
Now, of course, we are resting comfortably at Nick’s amazing loft in the city and she’s slyly pointing out his size 14 shoes. Ha! Ha!
Before that, we went through Tacoma and stopped at Bob’s Java Jive. It’s basically a building shaped like a big coffee pot. It’s been a music club, drive-thru restaurant, speakeasy, go-go bar and coffee shop.
Of course, I was impressed with its movie pedigree. Among other films, it’s the site of a drive-by scene in one of my fav films. John Cusack, playing Lloyd Dobler, drives by during
Say Anything
. I was
in love
with Lloyd and spent many a night dreaming that some guy would raise a boom box outside my window. (Don’t worry, Ethan. I’ve gotten past that fantasy.)
Despite the fact it’s shaped like a huge coffee pot and central Washington is home of the coffee house craze, they don’t even serve coffee there. No love lost there for me considering my indifference toward the beverage.
Surprisingly, it’s kind of a punk/goth club now. Needless to say, Shelley and I stuck out like sore thumbs. As usual, that didn’t stop some guy (with three nose rings, 10+ tattoos including a large one covering his face/forehead and liberty spikes dyed purple, no less) from asking for Shelley’s number. What can I say – the girl’s got universal appeal.
Anyhoo, we three (Shelley, Nick and I, not the tattoo guy) plan to go for a nice dinner tonight and then they will take me to the airport in the morning. All in all, an amazing trip.
From: cassidy – December 11, 2012 – 6:22 PM
To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
oh, how disappointing. when you get back, i would be happy to go shoe shopping with you.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 6:28 PM
To: cassidy
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
Thanks, Cassidy. I did feel a bit de”feeted.” I think shoe shopping might help ease the misleading museum name as well as my utter depression at saying goodbye to Shelley. I’ll call you soon.
From: Ashley Gordon – December 11, 2012 – 7:05 PM
To: cassidy
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
Can I get in on that shoe-shopping action?
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 7:12 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, cassidy
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
If the shoe fits, I will wear it. So, a shoe date it is. I’ll call you both when I’m back and settled. Thanks for being such thoughtful friends. I’m lucky to have you in my life.
From: PBCupLover – December 11, 2012 – 7:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
If anyone could muster the “feet” of making a shoe pun, it’s you, my love. A shoe museum?!? I would think this speaks directly to your “sole.” Oh! Look at that. I’m hilarious, too, and made some awesome puns, to “boot.”
But seriously, how are you doing? I know tomorrow is going to be rough, having to say goodbye at the airport. You okay?
From: Renee Greene – December 11, 2012 – 7:33 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Final Daily Digest – Shoes, shoes and more shoes
We’re grabbing dinner now. I will call you – sobbing hysterically – when we get back.
From: Renee Greene – December 12, 2012 – 11:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Bawling like a baby
I’m sitting on the toilet in the ladies room at the airport waiting for my flight and bawling like a baby while click clacking away on my cell phone. I know I already told you this, but it’s cathartic for me to get it all out again since I’m blubbering like a child.
(Seriously! Strangers are asking if I’m okay and a flight attendant that was fixing her makeup just asked if I needed to learn more about bereavement rates for the airline.)
We’ve been through every kind of up and down life has to offer and I can’t imagine anyone out there that has my back more than you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the wonderful, amazing, dazzling, fantastic, funny, honest and ballsy friend I’ve always wanted and needed. I love you!
From: Shelley Manning – December 12, 2012 – 1:11 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Bawling like a baby
You’re already in the air, thankfully! I don’t think I could have said this to your face without crying, too. (As we’ve recently established, I’m not great at expressing my feelings, but I’m trying.) You, my friend, are an incredible person. Not just a great friend, but a damn fine human being. If ever it’s seemed like life put me on top of the world, it’s only because I always felt I was lifted up on your shoulders. Your support has carried me through the most important, challenging and enjoyable times in my life.
This isn’t goodbye. We will be seeing each other soon for your bridal shower, bachelorette party (which I – NOT ASHLEY – am in charge of!) and wedding. We will call and email and stay up to date as always. I love you my friend, my sister. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – December 12, 2012 – 1:18 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Bawling like a baby
Normally, I am thrilled for inflight wi-fi, but reading this and trying to contain my emotions is too much. You too are my friend and my sister. I love you. I will call you when I land.
From: Renee Greene – December 12, 2012 – 1:20 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Re: Bawling like a baby
Read below and just be warned, I am an emotional mess: crying, sobbing, bawling, weeping and blubbering like a baby!
From: PBCupLover – December 12, 2012 – 1:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Bawling like a baby
Babe, I know you are hurting. But I missed you like crazy. While I can’t take Shelley’s place – and wouldn’t dare try – I will do my best to make you feel as loved and appreciated as you deserve. I’ll see you at the airport with a big can of frosting in hand.
From: Renee Greene – December 12, 2012 – 1:36 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Bawling like a baby
Looking forward to our life together…and the frosting.
XOXO, Me
Thank you SJB, TMZ and AKS
for being my balcony people. XOXO!
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 8:22 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Calling it quits?
I saw the weather report in Seattle. It's raining today…again…in June! That makes three days straight, no? I'm sure you've already hit all of the tourist spots by now. You ready to move back to LA? Sunny and 75 today…as usual. Ashley and I (and Siobhan) will treat you at Mel's.
From: Shelley Manning – June 26, 2013 – 8:33 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
Stop gloating. It's an unattractive trait. And yes, I've hit all of the hot spots already. I've visited the towering Space Needle many times…but I've never left the house. Zing!
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 8:42 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
Ha! Ha! You are a dirty, dirty girl. How is everything? I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages. Not the superficial stuff, but really talked. Work going okay or is it hard being a telecommuter?
From: Shelley Manning – June 26, 2013 – 8:55 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
Actually, I LOVE working remotely. I'm so much more productive. Who knew that I was wasting so much time hanging out at the water cooler, so to speak? And Nick's friends have been great about helping me get acclimated to my new surroundings.
In fact, I'm having dinner tonight with Nick's best friend's wife, Amber. She and her husband just moved back to Seattle from New York. She's an interior designer and has the most fantastic taste. Hoping she can help me feminize (is that even a word?) Nick's place, (well, now our place) a bit. While it's very modern and stylish, it's a bit manly for me.
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 9:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
Really? You were getting distracted from work at the office? Shocking! Glad you've made a new friend there. Just don't go replacing me with a new bestie.
From: Shelley Manning – June 26, 2013 – 9:15 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
No one could replace you, Sweetie. And yes, I was getting distracted from work at work. Now if I could only get you to stop emailing me every minute of the day with your incredulous-but-true life stories, man troubles and horrible pun-offs, then I would really be onto something. In fact, I might get a commendation from work. Can you say the same?
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 9:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
What? You love my emails and you know it. And stop gloating. I've heard it's an unattractive trait.
From: Shelley Manning – June 26, 2013 – 9:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Calling it quits?
Indeed it is. Gotta go. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 9:20 AM
To: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, cassidy
Subject: Shelley update
Hi, all. I finally heard from Shelley today after a week. She's so hit or miss lately! To answer all of your questions, she's doing well, enjoying telecommuting and making friends. In fact, she has plans with Nick's best friend's wife named Amber who just moved to town.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 26, 2013 – 11:30 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Shelley update
Glad to know she hasn't fallen off the face of the Earth and is acclimating. And a new friend, huh? You okay with that? I wouldn't worry too much. Amber is always on one of those lists of names you never give your daughter because it sounds like a stripper, right?
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 11:33 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Shelley update
OMG! That was such a Shelley remark. I miss her so much, I think I'm going to cry. And I must confess that I do fear we're going to grow apart. For years we've been super close but I wonder if geography was keeping us together.
From: cassidy – June 26, 2013 – 2:35 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Shelley update
oh i love the name amber. it brings love, healing, protection, power and luck, all things that shelley could use in her new home. its a good thing.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 26, 2013 – 3:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Shelley update
You have nothing to worry about. You two are kindred spirits. Come to think of it, maybe the spirits (i.e. booze) was what was keeping you together. Just kidding!
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 3:40 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Shelley update
LOL! Boy, you're really coming up with the zingers today. Thanks for stepping it up on my behalf.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 26, 2013 – 3:48 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Shelley update
Sure thing! Got to run. I have a Mommy & Me class with Siobhan followed by dinner at the mall food court. Living the dream, as they say sarcastically.
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 4:16 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
Ugh! I see this email from Cass and all I want to do is forward it to Shelley so I can hear some snarky remark about her. But I can't do that because then Shelley will know I was talking about "my replacement."
I can't send it to Ashley because (1) she's so busy with Siobhan these days and all of her new mommy friends and (2) she'll probably turn it all around and make it some comment about how she dislikes my hair.
So I have to send this to you. And you'll be all pragmatic about things and tell me (1) Shelley is not replacing me as her BFF and that it is important for her to develop friendships in Seattle otherwise she will be lonely and I will ultimately feel guilty for her misery and (2) Ashley needs to make friends that have kids so she can have a support network of people going through the same challenging transitions from corporate America and independence to full time parenthood and (3) Cassidy is a punctuationally-challenged loon but I just need to accept it.
Ugh! I do not like this one bit. But I suppose I just need to accept things for what they are.
From: PBCupLover – June 26, 2013 – 4:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
Why don't you just save these things as some sort of therapeutic draft because you seem to have worked it out all by yourself.?
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 4:24 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
It wouldn't be as much fun if I couldn't share it all with you. That's what being a couple is all about, right?
From: PBCupLover – June 26, 2013 – 4:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
Glad you are having fun, Babe.
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 4:25 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
Now you miss Shelley too, right?
From: PBCupLover – June 26, 2013 – 4:26 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
It certainly was nice having her around to help deal with your daily crises.
From: Renee Greene – June 26, 2013 – 4:26 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Shelley update
:) See you at home soon. XO
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 2:32 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Am I hated?
Does your friend Ilana absolutely hate me?
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
She doesn't hate you. She just feels really strongly about not squashing her son's creativity.
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 6:10 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Well, I think it's ridiculous not to teach your kid to color in the lines.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:12 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
She's just trying to have him grow up feeling free to express himself and not constrained by society.
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 6:16 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
I'm all for freedom of expression, but that's just laziness. A kid who doesn't know
how
to color in the lines is just scribbling. A kid who knows
how
to color in the lines but
chooses
not to, well, he is making an artistic and creative statement.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:18 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
You could be right.
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 6:18 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Could be?
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:19 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Well, I'm not going to judge her. She's really smart and her son is already reading and he's only 4.
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 6:21 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Is she teaching him the alphabet, letter sounds and phonics or just letting him make things up on his own?
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Be serious! You're not a parent so you just don't know what style you want to have yet.
From: Renee Greene – June 29, 2013 – 6:26 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
My style is going to be normal parenting, not this new-age BS. That's for sure! Just don't judge me for doing this differently. And by differently, I mean normally.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 29, 2013 – 6:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Am I hated?
Ha! Ha! What, me judge anyone? I've got to put Siobhan down for the night. I'll call you later in the week.
