The Click Trilogy (12 page)

From: Shelley Manning – April 23, 2011 – 11:32 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Not Gr8!

R u kidding?  Ha!  (Sorry, couldn't resist.) That is so annoying.  And rude, I must say.

Sorry I wasn’t home when you called.  I was with a gentleman who I shall refer to as the Equestrian.  Quite a ride!

From: Renee Greene – April 23, 2011 – 11:58 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Not Gr8!

Amen, sister.  Both annoying and rude.  And of course he texted me an hour later for another date.  Told him “2BZ but 10Q.”  Translation:  “Too busy, but thank you” for us normal people.  Gotta get to bed.  Have my date tomorrow with EarthMan.  I’ll send you and Mark the details in the morning.

From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 12:01 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Not Gr8!

LMAO!

From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 9:43 AM

To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay

Subject: The “O”

Not the “Big O,” Shelley.  Although I figured the subject line would get your attention.  No, I’m going to a restaurant this morning called the “O” with EarthMan.  His real name is Danny something or other.  But, it’s a public place and as usual, I will call or email when I get home.

From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 10:32 AM

To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay

Subject: Re: The “O”

Yes, you certainly know how to grab a girl’s attention, don’t you?  Well, have fun sweetie.  And, maybe if you get lucky, the “O” will result in the “Big O” after all.

From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 10:34 AM

To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay

Subject: Re: The “O”

“O” no you didn’t!

From: Mark Finlay – April 24, 2011 – 11:22 AM

To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: The “O”

Should I really be getting cc’d on these emails?  I feel like a voyeur!  Have fun and be safe.

From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 11:24 AM

To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay

Subject: Re: The “O”

Oh – or should I say “O” – didn’t see you there, Finlay.  Sorry.  I’ll be more careful next time.

From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 1:58 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay

Subject: O is for Organic

Well, I figured out that the “O” in “O” stands for…you guessed it…organic.  It was an all-organic restaurant.  And, I gotta say, the food was pretty good.  Wish I could say the same for Danny.  It started out just fine.  He is really cute and – at first – quite charming.  But, as brunch wore on, he and his “earthy” ways started to wear on my nerves.  BIG TIME!

Did you know that 20,000 deaths occur every year in developing countries from pesticide poisoning by growing conventional cotton?  Or that the livestock industry is one of the largest contributors to environmental degradation worldwide?  Or that ground water can be improved through organic farming methods?  Neither did it.  But I do now.

I drive a hybrid.  I take my own grocery bags to the store.  I even recycle my batteries. Can you two say that?  But, you would have thought I was the single biggest contributor to the downfall of the entire ecosystem.  I don’t eat the right foods, shop the right stores or wear the right clothes.

The date ended with a mutual, but still “O” so awkward acknowledgment that this was not a love match.  I’m going to drown my sorrows with a juicy steak and highly-processed can of frosting.

From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 2:30 PM

To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay

Subject: Re: O is for Organic

“O” no!  Put down the frosting.  Step away from the frosting.  Seriously, don’t get discouraged.  Get off the couch (because I know that’s where you are!), open up a window to let in some fresh air and remember how great you are, sweetie.

From: Mark Finlay – April 24, 2011 – 6:57 PM

To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: O is for Organic

I ech”O” what Shelley just said.  Hard to believe, I know.  But really, you’re the best, Renee.  It’ll happen for you.  I just know it.

From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 7:28 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay

Subject: Re: O is for Organic

Thanks guys.  I’m so lucky to have friends like you two.

From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 28, 2011 – 1:08 PM

To: [email protected]/PRGal1981

Bcc: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?

Haven’t heard back from you?  Is this because I don’t read?

From: Shelley Manning – April 28, 2011 – 1:17 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?

OMG!  I needed a good laugh.  You should email him back and say that nymphomaniacs are fine, but illiterates are not.

From: Renee Greene – April 28, 2011 – 1:19 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Fwd:  Re: No such thing as bad PR?

Yikes!

From: Renee Greene – May 3, 2011 – 2:36 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Ashley Price

Subject: One for the books

Well, ladies.  Per my subject line, this truly is one for the books.  I know you two, of all people, will totally appreciate this story.  So, I’m sitting at Tom’s Bistro with a colleague from work and a client having a lunch meeting.  About half way through, the waitress walks over and hands me a note and says it’s from a gentleman in the restaurant. (I still don’t know who he was.)

I open it up and it says, “I’m on a REALLY BAD first date right now.  Not only are we not clicking, but I’m completely distracted looking at you across the room.  I hope you won’t be totally offended by this, but I would really like to take you out on a date.  Obviously, I can’t come over there and talk with you now.  So, here is my contact info.  I hope you’ll email or call me.  P.S.  I NEVER do this.”

And…go!

From: Shelley Manning – May 3, 2011 – 4:42 PM

To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Sounds like a VERY smart guy to have noticed you from across the room and sensed how awesome you are.  Call him.  What have you got to lose?

From: Ashley Price – May 3, 2011 – 6:07 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

What have you got to lose?  Your dignity!  I say this guy sounds like a total jerk.  What’s to say that he won’t be scouting around for something better while
you’re
on a first date with him?

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 8:29 AM

To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Of course you would have to be so pessimistic about this.  I’m sure you’ve been on a date that isn’t going well.  So, why punish him just because he happened to see Renee at that moment, as opposed to a time when he was with some buddies, walking his dog, going to the drycleaners, etc.?

From: Ashley Price – May 4, 2011 – 10:02 AM

To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Why are you so sure I’ve been on a bad date?  Are you implying that I’m a bad date?  Regardless, he didn’t see her with some friends, walking his dog or going to the drycleaners.

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 11:17 AM

To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Of course I wouldn’t be implying that.  I just mean that we all go on dates that don’t end up the way we planned.  Don’t hold it against the guy.  Give it a try, Renee.

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 11:18 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Yes, I am!

Of course I’m implying she’s a bad date.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 11:20 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Yes, I am!

Behave!

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 11:22 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Yes, I am!

But, didn’t think she’d call me out on it.  I actually give her props for that.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 11:25 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Yes, I am!

Are you starting to like Ashley?

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 11:29 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Yes, I am!

Don’t get ahead of yourself, sweetie.  I just respect the feistiness.  Wish some of that backbone would transfer to you, my darling friend.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 11:31 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Yes, I am!

Me too.

From: Ashley Price – May 4, 2011 – 1:42 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

He’s a total stranger.  Why would she go out with a total stranger?

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 1:51 PM

To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

So, she doesn’t know him.  Big deal.  It’s no different than the online dating she’s been doing.

From: Ashley Price – May 4, 2011 – 1:52 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Online dating?  Renee, you’ve been using an online dating service?  Since when?  Why didn’t you tell me?

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 1:53 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: SO, SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY!!!

UGH!  I’m sooooooooooooo sorry.  I completely forgot that the online dating scene was a secret from her.  I’m soooooooooooo sorry.  Please, don’t hate me.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 1:54 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re:  SO, SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY!!!

CRAP!  Don’t worry.  I know you just got caught up in trying to win the argument.  I was really hoping to keep this from her until I got married – or at least engaged.  But, she was going to find out sometime.  I’ll just get it over with now.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 2:37 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Ashley Price

Subject: Re: One for the books

Oh, it’s really not that big of a deal.  I’m trying the whole online dating thing with Mark – well not dating Mark, but you know what I mean.  It’s only been for a few months and I’ve only gone out on a handful of dates and none of them have been very eventful.  I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up that anything would come of it.

From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 2:39 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Bravo!

Nice spin.  You really are in PR.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 2:41 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Bravo!

It’s a gift.  ;)

From: Ashley Price – May 4, 2011 – 3:17 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene

Subject: Re: One for the books

Well, I’m not surprised it hasn’t panned out.  I can’t imagine the kind of men who are online.  But good luck anyway.  And keep me posted.

From: Renee Greene – May 4, 2011 – 5:02 PM

To: Shelley Manning; Ashley Price

Subject: Re: One for the books

Will do.  Anyway, I agree with Ashley.  While I do commend this guy for his honesty – he could have just lied and said he saw me across the room – I think it’s a rather uncool move to hit on me when he’s on a date with someone else.  So, I will disregard.  But, off to grab a blended to celebrate both my undeniable hotness and moral superiority. ;)