The Broken Parts Of Us (17 page)

S
weaty bodies gyrate too close for comfort. I hate these people trying to dance so close to us. I need to move, breathe and live the music through movement. Dawn is enjoying herself. When River insisted I come here with her, all paid for by her as a thank you for the work I’ve taken on, I couldn’t refuse. You don’t turn down a thank you, especially considering who it was from and her excitement in giving me it.

I feel like I owe her the thanks, though. I love my new position, and River letting me stay with her and Sammy really warms my heart. They’re all becoming so important to me, and I adore Mikey.

Sammy is so in love with River, and it’s special to witness that so closely. It leaves an ache in my chest, though. I know Derek and I are going slow, and because I’m falling for both him and Jasper, going slow is a good thing. The tension between them is growing by the day. Jasper seems so tightly wound. I sense his eyes on me before I see him,
Derek
, the outbreak of goose bumps raising the tiny hairs all over my body, the rhythm of my heartbeats picking up, the air thickening all around me, and the heavy haze of lust clinging to my skin.

I’m swaying my hips in time to the music, the sweat lightly beading my exposed skin. His scent immerses me as his arms snake around my middle. “Hey, Beauty,” he breathes against my ear. “You ready?”

I try not to slump my shoulders at the disappointment from him wanting to leave already and not dance with me. Dawn leans forward to tell me her boyfriend is here. I turn to face Derek; he looks gorgeous in the dimmed light. “I’m just taking her over to her boyfriend. Can you grab my coat from our table, then I’m ready to go.” He nods in agreement.

I take Dawn’s arm and weave through the crowd of bodies. “You wait till you see him, he is d.i.v.i.n.e!” 

I had been hearing about her new boyfriend for the last week and I already know the details of his manhood.

“There he is!” She points, kisses my cheek and bounds over to him. He’s good-looking from what I can make out from this distance, but one thing for sure, his eyes are undressing me and making my intuition spike. He’s bad news and will no doubt break her heart. A shiver racks my body when his eyes don’t leave me. I glare and scrunch my nose at him before turning and searching for Derek. He’s not at the table where my coat was, so I make my way outside. The bite of the cooler air chills the skin on my arms and I rub them to keep warm. I spot his car, but not him. I cross the road to where he’s parked and lean against the car to wait for him. I’m going to kiss him and maybe ask if I can stay at his place again, like before. I go over in my mind what I can say, working up the courage I’ll need, when a body crowds me, enclosing all around me; it’s Derek. I would know his scent anywhere.

“What are you doing out here?” he growls, stepping back. He holds his phone up. “Where’s your cell phone? I was calling it. No answer, Kyra?” He used my real name and I gulp down the lump in my throat. “I was worried sick and searching for you like a madman. You know how dangerous it is for you to be out her alone?” His voice had risen with every word. I’m humiliated that he’s shouting at me in the street as a few club stragglers are looking over at us. I glance down at my dress; it’s conservative compared to the way some of the girls dressed in the club.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t find you,” I mutter.

“Get in the car.”

I slip into the seat when he opens the door, and buckle myself in. I fight the urge to cry, but I feel like the tears are going to spring free. The car shifts with his weight as he gets into the driver’s seat. He exhales and grips the wheel tightly as he leans forward, resting his forehead against it. “I’m sorry, Beauty.”

The first tear betrays me and leaks down my cheek, leaving a damp trail in its wake.

“Oh God, are you crying?” he sounds remorseful, so I shake my head, but the little hiccup escapes my chest, exploiting my lie.

He reaches for me, scooping me into his lap. I curl around him and gently cry into his shoulder. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I nearly had a heart attack when I couldn’t find you. I’m sorry.”

 I relax against him, the heat from his body warming my own.

We stay like this until my tears dry. He places me back into my seat and buckles my belt, smiling at me.

“I’m going to take you to Riv’s.”

“Okay,” I whisper. The earlier confidence to tell him I wanted to stay with him was carried away in the breeze.

The drive is done with just the radio breaking the silence. Derek pulls up and steps from the car, coming round to open my door. He offers his hand and I clasp it, welcoming his strong support. He grips the nape of my neck once I’m standing in front of him.

He studies my face, his eyes softening. “I’m sorry, Beauty, okay?”

I nod, lost in the gentle vulnerability searching my eyes. He leans forward and drops a kiss to my head. “River is twitching the curtain, so you better go in.” He smiles, looking up at the window. I follow his gaze and he’s right; the curtain moves and a giggle escapes me. His laughter joins mine.

“She’s like a mom on prom night.” I chuckle.

“I wouldn’t be bringing you home if it was prom night.” He winks.

I bite my lip and take my coat from him. “Thanks for the ride.”

H
annah looks fine, happy and glowing. She was all smiles and pleasantries when I came in. She told me she’s feeling more positive about everything, and maybe we should think about putting down roots in the housing market. I agreed and went to the bathroom to make sure I didn’t vomit the self-pity I was feeling all over her cream rug.

Her suitcase is on the bathroom floor, open, and usually I would never look through her stuff, but the open condom wrapper just slightly visible has me throwing her shit on the floor and finding her box of condoms half empty. I knew she was fucking someone else. The signs were literally staring me in the face in the form of her mother when she was supposed to be away with her. The anger at her fucking someone while pregnant with my baby is immense. I crush the box in my hand and go confront her.

I walk into the living room to find her lying on the couch laughing at a
Friends
rerun and she’s rubbing her stomach. The anger leaves me as quickly as it came. What the fuck does it matter? We both know this isn’t love. All I can think about is when I can get back to Derek; every thought is consumed by him. What would shouting and demanding answers to questions I already had the answers to achieve? Nothing had really changed, or would; we’re a business marriage and that’s that. 

She must sense me because she looks over at me. “You okay?” she asks, seeming genuinely curious.

“Yeah, fine.”

“Well, you don’t have to stay, Jasper. I’m having an early night anyway.” 

Fuck! The endorphins from the happiness and relief at her words make me feel like I’m floating. I force myself towards her, lean down, and plant a chaste kiss to her head before grabbing my keys.

* * * * *

The place is quiet when I get home. I feel my whole body pulsing with need and Derek’s not even here. The front door shifts open behind me. He steps into the lobby, the light from a side table illuminating him. He freezes when he sees me.

"Something inside me has an inconsolable addiction to you. I’m struggling to fucking fight it," I tell him.

He walks past me and takes the stairs. I follow; he stops just beside the wall next to his room, his allure pouring from him in waves. This wasn’t who I used to being, but he has changed me, or bewitched me. I’m under his spell and the link is too strong to fight when I look over at him.

He’s the master and I am being summoned. I can’t refuse it, nor control the pulsating need for him. He’s beckoning me to him and I’m going to him willingly, captivated by his magnetism.

I go to him, leaving everything I was behind with every step I take in his direction. My body hums with electricity, lightening the atmosphere with its energy and vibrating me with need; I’m running on the pure adrenaline of this moment. There’s no gentle, no waiting, he rips my shirt down the middle, my stomach tensing as the cool air hits my heated skin. My breathing is as erratic as my heartbeat.

His mouth crashes down onto mine and I let go. I release all the want and lust I have kept prisoner inside me as I unleash the sexual need I have for him.

My tongue clashes with his in a battle for dominance, his frame crowds mine, encompassing me in everything he is, his scent mingling with mine, his sweat blending with my own, our essence fusing and becoming one with every breath we share.

His hands rip open my jeans, tugging them. They drop to my ankles and my hard cock springs free to welcome the hand that grasps it. His firm grip tugs on me aggressively, pulling a ragged groan from the back of my throat.

His chest pins mine as his tongue wins our battle and devours my mouth. His other hand grips the back of my neck, controlling the movements of my head. His firm strokes of my cock make me ready to explode.

His lips travel up my cheek to my ear. “Bedroom, Jasp, now,” he growls, releasing me from his hold.

I kick my jeans free and walk to his bedroom, the nerves rattling around in my stomach, the anticipation ruling every other emotion. I’m shoved onto the bed from behind, his body comes down from above me and crushes me under his weight. He’s stripped and I feel every naked inch of his powerful body. His cock is resting between my ass cheeks. I gasp to fill my lungs with much needed oxygen as his lips trace hot needy kisses over my shoulders, teeth nipping at my skin.

His lips travel the length of my spine, his bite going deeper into my flesh when he reaches my ass. This is new and I’m nervous. This is it, no going back once I do this. He has me pinned. He’s changed me.

His tongue dips in between the seam of my ass, stroking my anus and I jerk forward, but his hand grasps my hips to hold me there. He begins again, swiping his tongue up and around the opening. It feels so fucking good and I groan into the mattress. The pleasure is too much.

His hands shift to my ass cheeks, separating them for his greedy mouth. His tongue probes the hole; I fucking can’t take this, it’s all too much. The pleasure, the reluctance to accept it, to accept the need my body so clearly wants, and it’s all his fucking fault.

I jackknife upwards in a movement too quick for him to foresee or stop. He falls behind me on to the bed and I grab him and pin him down, the anger and lust combining into a frenzy. “You want this Derek, you can fucking have it,” I growl above him. I position my dick between his ass cheeks and plunge forward; no lube, no foreplay and he is so fucking tight I nearly blow my load straight inside him.

His roar matches my own. I power forward with no mercy, fucking him with everything I have. I grasp his hips and plunge forward and back, smashing myself into him, my balls slapping against his. I reach around, grasping his heavy cock in my hand and stroke him with every erratic thrust. “Is this what you wanted?”

I continue the assault, his growling making me thrust deeper and stroke his cock faster. “Yes!”

“Is this what you wanted? Me fucking you, Derek?”

I fuck him until my legs go weak and I feel the familiar build tingle up my spine; my balls tightening up, releasing my come like an explosion, hot and pulsating into his ass as his cock explodes in my hand. “Fuck!” We groan in unison as our lust fuelled frenzy reaches its conclusion, and then I collapse over him.

I
feel his weight collapse on to me, his hot breath searing the skin on my shoulder, then the gentle shake of his chest and the warm wet drops. He’s crying, and my insides crumble.

I had waited and wanted him for so long. The moment he entered me changed me, confirmed everything I knew I felt, but for him, it changed everything he ever knew about himself and the hot tears that struck my skin are like razor sharp knives.

I pushed him too fast, too far. I made him angry, fucked the lust out of him when I should have held him and showed him that it’s okay to feel the way he does.