The Broken Parts Of Us (20 page)

There’s an air of nervous energy when I walk into the kitchen. Derek’s eyes clash with mine and hold them hostage as I make my way to the sink to rinse my mug. Jasper reads an article on his laptop, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Morning, Beauty. You sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you.” The hitch in my voice makes me cough to try and cover it as my cheeks flame in a blush. He looks at me knowingly; my body has become rigid.
Did he know I was there watching them?
I break his gaze, adding my mug to the drainer.

“I need to go to work.” He walks over and hands me a key. “Take the Lexus in the garage. You can drive that until you get your own.”

“I can’t …I don’t…” I feel the press of his finger against my lips.

“You can. You need to be able to get around and the more time you spend driving, the more comfortable and confident you’ll be doing it.” He was right I know, but I just never liked driving. I witnessed a crash when I was young and it always stayed with me.

 “Just take the car, Ky. It’ll give us both peace of mind to know you can get around without risking public transport in seedy areas.”

I roll my eyes at Jasper’s
seedy
comment; they live in a mansion and anything outside it is a danger zone to them.

“Fine, thank you.” I close my hand around the keys, and lean to place a kiss on Derek’s cheek before leaving.

* * * * *

The smooth feel of the luxury car makes me more relaxed to drive. Its engine is just a quiet hum; the interior is refined and sleek. I know it’s an expensive car and I feel a little self-conscious when I pull up at Twinkle Toes to see River arriving.

“Hey.” She beams as I step out.

“Hey, Derek loaned me the car,” I explain pointing over my shoulder to the golden champagne-coloured beauty.

“I love that car. He never drives it. I don’t know why he even keeps it. At least someone is getting the use of it.” She wraps her arm around my shoulder and squeezes. “How was the apartment hunt?”

I unlock the door and hold it open for her to pass. “Meh.”

She chuckles. “That bad, huh? Well, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need, you know that, right?”

I return her smile and nod. “Yes and thank you. I need to go change.”

I walk to the back room where the lockers are. Dawn’s inside slipping into a pair of leggings, and I notice a huge bruise on her thigh. It’s the shape of a handprint. My gasp draws her attention and her eyes widen in a look of worry. She rushes to pull the tights up and shakes her head at me.

“Rough sex, Ky. Just because you’re a prude doesn’t mean we all are,” she spits out, then puffs out a few breaths and steps over to me, putting her slim arms around me. “Fuck, that was really shitty. I’m sorry, I’m tired.”

I embrace her hug and tell her it’s fine. “We need to work with Amy from now until the end of the month. She has her audition for her placement,” I say to change the subject.

“Okay.”

I open the locker I rarely use to grab the change of clothes I shoved in here. I peer in and notice a folded piece of paper. Weird. Cautiously, I pull it out and unfold it.

He’s really fond of you, “Beauty.”

This makes it all the more rewarding.

My heart battles against my rib cage. I’m not sure what this even means or how long ago it was put there. They’ve caught the suspect who committed those assaults. What if those notes came from my ex after all, and this stalker case is just coincidence.
Beauty
. He used Derek’s pet name for me. I shove the note back in the locker, change, and go to set up for the day.

I
can’t believe Hannah triggered a nightmare. I had such a great night with Derek and Kyra, and then she texted to tell me she had a place she wants us to go see today. The suffocating choke hold came over me and I couldn’t breathe. I tried to sleep, but the shit storm in my head wouldn’t let me rest.

I must have passed out in the end because the next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Hannah, bleeding from the bullet wound left in my skin to remind me of what I lived through. She wasn’t paying attention; she couldn’t even see the blood.

I woke in Derek’s arms like all the times before, and the relief was overwhelming. Being in his embrace felt too good: safe, warm, loved.

My heart is thawing, the steel grate I kept it in was left open and he seeped in and surrounded me in him. I think the affection for him must have always been there, somewhere in the depths of me, because I’m relieved to accept and welcome him.

It wasn’t until after we left the shower that I remembered Kyra was sleeping across the hall. My gut twisted at the possibility of her seeing us, accepting us, joining us in there.

 Derek stayed in my room and set his alarm to wake early, so Kyra didn’t see him leave my room. He made coffee and told me to go wake her. She was splayed across the bed. The naked, toned, and creamy skin of her back was on display, her hair fanned out in shiny waves; it looked like a small river of red wine. Her face was resting on a pillow, her lips slightly parted and tiny breaths escaping through the gap. I couldn’t wake her, I just wanted to watch her in her peaceful slumber. When she rolled on to her back, yawning, her chest arching up, her fucking tits slipping free from the covers, she sat up, then stepped from the bed and I didn’t have time to make my presence known. Seeing her naked, her smooth skin like satin wrapped around one of god’s greatest achievement, was fucking awe inspiring; her tits sat high on her chest, a natural look that told me they would bounce when she was being made love to.
Made love to?
God, I was turning into Sammy, the love sick fuck.

She was bare; her pussy as smooth as the rest of her, and fucking edible. I wanted to devour her. I could wake up next to her every day. Why couldn’t she be standing there with her tummy swollen, my baby growing in there?

I couldn’t focus with both Kyra and Derek in the room, so when Kyra came down from her room, I tried to look busy. I was falling into the rabbit hole and it was scaring the shit out of me. When she left, Derek took me where I stood in a frenzied, intense way. I knew he felt the way I did for her, and having us both in the room tested all his restraint.

Shortly after, I left to go meet Hannah at this house she was interested in. It was big, too big for two of us and a baby. How much room did the kid need? He would only be a foot long. The plush gardens and picket fences reminded me of River’s house. I was growing up and making a family; it didn’t seem all that crazy anymore, accept for the person I was taking this leap with.

I wave back at Hannah, walking up the garden path to meet her. “This is Jesmond, our family’s estate agent. He found this place for us and I think it’s perfect.”

I look Jesmond over; suit, combed hair with not a strand out of place, a Hollywood smile bought and paid for, a flash watch and a thing for Hannah. The fact that I don’t give a shit that he’s eye fucking her should have been enough for me to say
no way, I can’t do this,
but the idea of letting my kid have a broken family is not acceptable to me. I can stop that from happening. Many other kids don’t have a choice with who raises them, but mine will have their mom and me living together, loving and raising them.

“So, have you already looked around?” I ask, knowing this prick has already sold her the house; they just need my okay and signature.

“Well, I saw it yesterday, but wanted to show you.”

I bite back the retort and let her show me around. The place is attractive, the warm tones of the décor have a family vibe, plus there are three extra bedrooms, one I can turn into a gym.

“So, what do you think?”

“It’s lovely, big. Let me think it over.”

She scowls at me; her hands defiantly placed on her hips “What’s there to think about? It’s perfect.” The prick in the suit crosses his arms.

“I’m in business, Hannah. I need more than you telling me it’s perfect before I sign anything. I’ll look over everything and go from there.”

“Fine.” I watch her leave and follow behind her. “Don’t follow me, Jasp. I’m mad right now.”

Fine by me.

I wave her off and head for home. I’m skipping work; I told Sammy I was busy house hunting all day, anyway.

I needed to go to the printers and pick up the photos River had managed to find for me of Mya. I went to her after the night Derek was at the cliff top, when he later told me he didn’t even have a picture of her. I went to see River and nearly got caught by him when he came in the studio at the same time. River had gone to Mya’s old high school and managed to get a year book that had quite a few photos of Mya inside.

She was stunning like her brother, and popular. It blows my mind to think that someone can impact someone else’s self-esteem and mental state enough for them to end their life.

I took the book to a professional who could copy the pictures and crop out the others in the picture to make some perfect images of just Mya.

I go in to pay and collect them then, make my way to the studio to show them to River.

I’m hoping to avoid Kyra, but instead collide with her as I walk in.

“Oh, God!” She jumps, her hand coming up to her heart; she’s pale, the green of her eyes swallowing the pupils. “You scared me.”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “I only walked in, Ky. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.  You okay?”

“Yeah.” She chuckles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “You just scared me is all. I need to go.” She points to the dance room and strolls off.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” River greets me coming from her office.

 “I wanted to show you the pictures. They’re in the car.”

She follows me out, and I open the boot and pull the main one from the protective wrap. Mya’s eyes full of life look back at us from the picture.

“Oh God, Jasp, this is incredible. This will mean so much to him.” She tears up and cries for twenty minutes non-stop into my shirt.     

L
ast night while in the shower with Jasp, I was sure I saw a flash of red hair in my peripheral vision, but it was so quick I wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light.

Jasper was clearly having anxiety over things with Hannah, and they’re the cause of his more frequent nightmares. I hate that he’s stuck in this situation. I hate any time he spends with her. I have no claim to him yet I feel like he’s mine. It’s the same with Kyra. She’s mine, too. I want to keep her safe. I want to support her with a home, but what I really want is for her to move in here with me and Jasper, but it can’t happen.

I’m addicted, hooked on Jasper and everything he makes me feel emotionally and sexually. He’s the best I have ever had and I can’t even fathom giving that up.

I step into the lounge after getting home and showering. I halt, my heart seizes. Mya. A huge, unbelievably beautiful picture of her stunning smile stares back at me from over the fireplace. I can’t take my eyes from her. There she is, my baby sister. God, she was so full of life then, her eyes alight with dreams, goals, passion.

“She was stunning, Der. I wanted you to have some pictures of her. She knew how much you loved her.”

“How do you know that?” I answer, feeling Jasper behind me.

“Because it’s there in your eyes. She would have seen it every time you looked at her.”

“Where did you get these?” His hand goes into my hair and I relish his touch.

“River helped me track down Mya’s year book.”

God, he did this for me. He has no idea what he has just given me. Memories don’t do her justice. I turn to face him and show him with every touch just how grateful I am to him.

* * * * *

All week Jasper has avoided Hannah. I saw the multiple missed calls from her on his cell. She’s called the house, leaving messages, telling him she needs to see him, and yet he was in my arms in my bed every night for the last two weeks.